Bull**** Careers

Wibbs

maglite wrote: »

Most of the responses seem to be grounded in ignorance, more so than usual.

Interior designer?

DublinWriter

OSI wrote: »

A BA in Computer Science is for those that lack the intelligence to do a proper Computer Science degree.

Yes, because the IT industry today is absolutely crying out for people who can count in octal and who know what Fourier analysis is.

Frynge

wall to wall transparency coordinator




it is not the job that is bull**** but the title!

Mance Rayder

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Have to disagree,game based learning (GBL) is going to be crucial in education.

EG: Game based learning is used to train Military personnel and Pilots.

maglite

Naikon wrote: »

Any specific examples?

IT
Plasters
Town Planners
H&S Officer
Market Researchers
Painters
Investment Bankers

Mance Rayder

DJ .

Glorified CD changer.

Helix

CiscoStudent wrote: »

DJ .

Glorified CD changer.

depends on whether the dj is any good or not

Mance Rayder

Wibbs wrote: »

Interior designers. Anyone who describes a room as a space should be punched in the face hard. More than once just to get the point across. Extra kicks in the crotch for mentioning Feng Shui. If they describe your back garden/yard as your exterior space, break out the placcy sheeting, bleach and carving knives. Start at their feet and work up. Fashion "writers" discussing how "black is the new green" or that "legs are in this season". Silly unimportant pseuds describing the output of silly self important pseuds for the benefit of morons. No really. Fcuk off. Gossip columnists. Enough said really. Being thrown in a weighted sack and chucked off a pier is too good for them.

+1

Mance Rayder

Helix wrote: »

depends on whether the dj is any good or not

Any good at what? Changing songs and occasionally speaking?

Naikon

DublinWriter wrote: »

Yes, because the IT industry today is absolutely crying out for people who can count in octal and who know what Fourier analysis is.

***Off Topic***

Maths is essential. I think there is a deep rooted fear of Maths in this country. I didn't start learning the basics of the Higher Level stuff until I went alone so to speak. If you actually have a qualified Maths teacher from the start and do some bloody work, people that would have said they are rubbish at maths are probably more capable than teachers give em credit for. I found Maths fairly handy in College.

There is an awful stigma associated with Maths, so much so, a large majority of teachers are practically afraid to actually teach the subject. The teaching of Maths in this country is in serious trouble if the failure rates in ORDINARY level maths over the last several years are anything to go by. It's never too late to go back and improve. Contrary to what the media tells people, you don't need to be a genius. "Knowledge Economy" my hairy left ballsack.

wonderfulname

looky loo wrote: »

The people employed to find dark matter.........:rolleyes:

Really?

My own contribution;
Blogger
Vlogger

OctavarIan

CiscoStudent wrote: »

Any good at what? Changing songs and occasionally speaking?

What you're doing is failing to distinguish between a good DJ and a bad one.

Naikon

wonderfulname wrote: »

Really?

My own contribution;
Blogger
Vlogger

How did I forget these. You are dead right. "Blogging" == "No publisher would chance my dross":pac:

weemcd

krudler wrote: »

nailed exactly what its like.

when the inevitable 28 Days Later outbreak happens, it wont be rage infected monkeys, it'll be rage infected call centre workers

The air-conditioning and close seating will spread the outbreak quicker

Larianne

Naikon wrote: »

Yoga Instructors?

I still don't get it. Go out for a run. You don't need to pay someone else to tell you the apparent complexities of moving your joints or whatever. Google would probably suffice imo.

But you need someone to show you how to do the poses correctly. You could end up doing more damage to yourself.

Yoga & Pilates are great for building up core strength which can help prevent certain injuries. Helps with proprioception and balance. Also, it makes you bendy.

Naikon

Larianne wrote: »

more damage to yourself. )

True enough.

Fremen

High-frequency trader.

Programming a computer to place trades every millionth of a second to gain an advantage over someone else's stock market purchases doesn't help humanity. It's market manipulation, and anyone who claims otherwise has a vested interest.

Naikon

Fremen wrote: »

High-frequency trader.

Programming a computer to place trades every millionth of a second to gain an advantage over someone else's stock market purchases doesn't help humanity. It's market manipulation, and anyone who claims otherwise has a vested interest.

So that is where the Ebay sniping concept must have come from:)

Fremen

DublinWriter wrote: »

Yes, because the IT industry today is absolutely crying out for people who can count in octal and who know what Fourier analysis is.

So what do we need? Give me a country full of engineers over a country full of history graduates any day.

Fourier analysis was an unfortunate choice. It's one of the most disgustingly useful bits of maths I've ever come across.

Naikon

Lion Tamer?

El Siglo

IRcolm wrote: »

Are you serious?

Town planners is what's needed more here. Well, responsible ones. Stop Urban sprawl among other things; it isn't your right to build some garish bungalow on a regional road or for people with enough money to develop on flood plains. It is a job that is all to disregarded for this country's own good.

I'm saying it's pointless because the people who do planning know nothing about the natural environment and follow bad pieces of legislation, guidelines and county development plans as if they were gospel only to have any decisions they make overturned by the councillors or the county manager. As a profession, I think it's fair to say that they've completely dropped the ball in the last fifteen years, and if you think I'm wrong have a look at the 300,000 empty units lying around the place. As stopping urban sprawl goes, have you ever been to Leixlip or Celbridge or Ashbourne?
Why is it wrong to build a garish bungalow on a regional road? What if this garish bungalow had solar panels, a foot of insulation, a wind turbine etc... Just because it looks garish, doesn't mean that it won't suit future environmental conditions and "carrying capacity" of the area. Also, building on floodplains, again preventing that going on has gone splendid over the course of the boom, thank God for planners on that one...

As a profession, I've stated it before it's a joke because the people that do planning are fucking clueless. They're technocrats, not scientists or engineers. That's the excuse I've always been given by every planner I've ever spoken to. Planning itself would probably work, without the planners of course.

Oh, and town planners were needed at one stage (read the Bacon Report I), but that has long past and planning jobs are few and far between (i.e. it's a fucked profession here, it depended on consistent housing construction taking place).

volvoman480

^^^^ Spot on, I live close to the area mentioned in your link. Locals couldn't believe it when the plans for that development were released. What a joke that was. I saw firsthand the carnage in Bandon town. I've never seen flooding like it.

Bummer, moved on to the next page, oh well, you know I'm referring to the last post on the previous page......

Cunning Stunt

I know a girl who just completed a 2 week manicure course.
She's now a qualified 'nail technician'.:rolleyes:

Acacia

I don't reallly know the name for them but you know those annoying twat talking heads who just pop up to say innane sh1te in those "100 Greatest TV/Movie/Christmas/Music Moments" shows. They usually claim they're "pop culture analysts" or something like that. Basically anybody could do their job cause they're just spouting opinions. Kinda like if you got paid to write on Boards.

wonderfulname

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

I know a girl who just completed a 2 week manicure course.
She's now a qualified 'nail technician'.:rolleyes:

What could she have possibly learned that took two weeks?

plein de force

P.E. Teacher
Sports journalist

DecentBee

Sandwich artist.

Guill

El Siglo wrote: »

I'm saying it's pointless because the people who do planning know nothing about the natural environment and follow bad pieces of legislation, guidelines and county development plans as if they were gospel only to have any decisions they make overturned by the councillors or the county manager. As a profession, I think it's fair to say that they've completely dropped the ball in the last fifteen years, and if you think I'm wrong have a look at the 300,000 empty units lying around the place. As stopping urban sprawl goes, have you ever been to Leixlip or Celbridge or Ashbourne?
Why is it wrong to build a garish bungalow on a regional road? What if this garish bungalow had solar panels, a foot of insulation, a wind turbine etc... Just because it looks garish, doesn't mean that it won't suit future environmental conditions and "carrying capacity" of the area. Also, building on floodplains, again preventing that going on has gone splendid over the course of the boom, thank God for planners on that one...

As a profession, I've stated it before it's a joke because the people that do planning are fucking clueless. They're technocrats, not scientists or engineers. That's the excuse I've always been given by every planner I've ever spoken to. Planning itself would probably work, without the planners of course.

Oh, and town planners were needed at one stage (read the Bacon Report I), but that has long past and planning jobs are few and far between (i.e. it's a fucked profession here, it depended on consistent housing construction taking place).

Sing it brother!

Naomi00

Bosses of Unions, etc. They get paid a ridiculous amount of money to complain about how little their workers get paid

Psychics, shrinks, and anyone who 'works' for politicians.

And Life coaches :rolleyes:

weemcd

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

I know a girl who just completed a 2 week manicure course.
She's now a qualified 'nail technician'.:rolleyes:

Daft name alright, but girls will spend up to 50 euro a sit down for nail treatments taking less than an hour... $$

Chris Hansen

weemcd wrote: »

Daft name alright, but girls will spend up to 50 euro a sit down for nail treatments taking less than an hour... $$

1. Attend nail technician course
2. ???
3. profit

ToddyDoody

'partnership facilitator' (i.e. Person who re-sends people's emails with the addition of "this is important" above the original text)

flahavaj

Whatever it is that Amanda Brunker claims to be.

Chris Hansen

flahavaj wrote: »

Whatever it is that Amanda Brunker claims to be.

A bag of tits?

El Siglo

Chris Hansen wrote: »

A bag saggy of tits?

Fixed that for ya.

kowloon

Naikon wrote: »

It's never too late to go back and improve. Contrary to what the media tells people, you don't need to be a genius. "Knowledge Economy" my hairy left ballsack.

The text books are atrocious, my engineering maths book was as thick as a phone book but contained nothing but problems. It's been a few years and I can't make head nor tail of half of it.

Another thing that annoys me about texts at all levels, from primary to third level, is the amount of editions they go through. It's such a money making scheme, change a few problems and call it the eleventy millionth edition so everyone has to go out and spend €60 on the latest copy.

Some lecturers are getting the idea and providing decent worked examples and recorded lectures online so you can go back over them.

/rant

El Siglo

kowloon wrote: »

The text books are atrocious, my engineering maths book was as thick as a phone book but contained nothing but problems. It's been a few years and I can't make head nor tail of half of it.

Another thing that annoys me about texts at all levels, from primary to third level, is the amount of editions they go through. It's such a money making scheme, change a few problems and call it the eleventy millionth edition so everyone has to go out and spend €60 on the latest copy.

Some lecturers are getting the idea and providing decent worked examples and recorded lectures online so you can go back over them.

/rant

You should read the chapter in Richard Feynman's book "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman" where he had to review the Los Angelas School board maths text books. Not only were they expensive, they were all poorly written and designed on the premise of encouraging youngsters into studying maths (does that sound familiar?). Anyway, the books were all poorly written and the people reviewing them were on the take of the publishing companies and were fucking idiots that knew nothing about maths, but somehow got into the position to decide what maths books should be used for teaching purposes.

The MIT course lectures on youtube are absolutely brilliant, so handy and most modules have lecture notes as well. This is the future I think of most third level teaching.

Rowley Birkin QC

El Siglo wrote: »

I'm saying it's pointless because the people who do planning know nothing about the natural environment and follow bad pieces of legislation, guidelines and county development plans as if they were gospel only to have any decisions they make overturned by the councillors or the county manager. As a profession, I think it's fair to say that they've completely dropped the ball in the last fifteen years, and if you think I'm wrong have a look at the 300,000 empty units lying around the place. As stopping urban sprawl goes, have you ever been to Leixlip or Celbridge or Ashbourne?
Why is it wrong to build a garish bungalow on a regional road? What if this garish bungalow had solar panels, a foot of insulation, a wind turbine etc... Just because it looks garish, doesn't mean that it won't suit future environmental conditions and "carrying capacity" of the area. Also, building on floodplains, again preventing that going on has gone splendid over the course of the boom, thank God for planners on that one...

As a profession, I've stated it before it's a joke because the people that do planning are fucking clueless. They're technocrats, not scientists or engineers. That's the excuse I've always been given by every planner I've ever spoken to. Planning itself would probably work, without the planners of course.

Oh, and town planners were needed at one stage (read the Bacon Report I), but that has long past and planning jobs are few and far between (i.e. it's a fucked profession here, it depended on consistent housing construction taking place).

You're confusing planners with county/city councillors.

Planners have to do a development plan every 6 years which scientifically analyses the current and forecasted needs of an area and its people.

A plan is then prepared based on facts and statistical analysis. This is drafted, redrafted and finalised. The planners need to give justification for anything and everything that's in the development plan. Once it's in there they have to base their decisions of granting or refusing PP for the next 6 years. It's their rulebook, this will be important later, and has been drafted scientifically based on the needs and forecasted growth of an area.

Enter the councillors; These bastions of honesty and decency can now make any and all changes to the plan they see fit before it gets voted on. Do they need to provide the same level of evidence to back up their suggestions?! Do they fcuk. It's the reason that land has been developed on to such an extent in this country. The planners, ideally, draft a reasonable plan which promotes high density and responsible development, Johnny Councillor then enters the fray with his party colleagues and proposes rezoning twice the amount of land forecasted to be neccessary. The vote gets passed and the plan is approved and becomes the planners rulebook.

Fast forward to a silly planning application coming in for a 200 unit housing estate 5 miles outside Ballygobackwards. The planner can only make his/her decision based on the current development plan, if the land has been zoned for that type of development, on land owned by a good buddy of Johnny Councillor oddly enough, the planner has very little scope to refuse the development. Repeat ad nauseum.

Can you guess what I studied in college yet?! :P:P

CramCycle

Rowley Birkin QC wrote: »

Can you guess what I studied in college yet?! :P:P

The internet? :pac:

Mance Rayder

AND THE WINNER IS:

FAS EMPLOYEE

Kinetic^

Bloggers - circle jerk society.

jme2010

Absolutely ANY proffession that needs to add the word "Guru" to the end of it.

Your a Fashion Guru? Really?*



*sniggers under breath

volvoman480

What really frosts my balls is anyone who claims to be a "facilitator" Buzz word for absolute b0ll0cks..

JohnMarston

Did anyone mention Aromatherapist? Why? Well let Billy Connolly educate you:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjdmZLnfEuE

Glinda

Anything that starts with the word 'celebrity' (hairdresser, footballer, gardener, therapist, stylist, designer).

Anything that involves a humungous amount of navel-gazing (e.g. pretend journalists that really only write introspective self-indulgent piles of steaming tripe about their own boring lives)

languagenerd

kowloon wrote: »

The text books are atrocious, my engineering maths book was as thick as a phone book but contained nothing but problems. It's been a few years and I can't make head nor tail of half of it.

The secondary school ones I had (a couple years ago, may be different now with this Project maths lark) were awful too - they usually started each section with a box of formulas and two or three examples, no further explanation. Then the exercises would involve many questions that were not at all like the examples, so nobody could do them!

Those text books were practically no use at all to me when I was revising for the LC, I used my own notes and the internet.

Odysseus

volvoman480 wrote: »

What really frosts my balls is anyone who claims to be a "facilitator" Buzz word for absolute b0ll0cks..

It was a bit buzz word ten years ago, even at that time people where charging ooutrageous prices. But what gets me are the facilitators and life coach's who start to think that they are psychologists or psychotherapists.

annascott

Wedding Planner...

If you cannot be bothered to plan your own wedding, your heart really isn't in it....

isabella_24

kfallon wrote: »

Personal Shopper

I think I can buy my own stuff thanks especially that nobody is more qualified than me to know what I do and don't like :rolleyes:

bahahahaha:D i like this one ALOT...
although i did work at this for awhile and while the majority of people know exactly what the want some people came into the store and tried on jeans 4 sizes to small and have the whole tummy area hanging over and your just kinda like... REALLY!!!
But i do have issue with the snooty ones walking around the shop like their god, they basically just pick the items that sell the most and are popular anyway and then think their ubar stylish

plasteritup

Plasterers, mix some stuff, smear it on a wall and charge a couple of thousand for something a monkey could do.


wxxxnker:D