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How much child maintenance should I pay?
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It really comes down to what your income and reasonable expenses are. If you are on Social Welfare courts will normally award €30-50 as anything above that is pointless.
You are working so draw up a statement of means, your normal income and reasonable expenses. You'll have moving or travel expenses to work so make sure they are accounted for. Discounting reasonable expenses is well.......unreasonable!
Concentrate on your income and reasonable expenses. If you travel a lot to have access to children include the costs.
Your ex's income is also important. Make a point that she has her own income included as well.
Ideals are great and most Dads want to be seen to contribute fairly, courts are seeing cases every day that unfortunately ideals are just that..........ideals.
Excellent post.I could go through the process of listing my expenses and income, as I am willing to pay half the morgage. How does one know how much each child will need?
It's not about how much they need, it's about how much you can both afford each, fairly. I know you want to do the best by your kids, but no court will see you out of your home or struggling to pay your own expenses.
Have you advertised it on the rental market also?I would like to thank all who responded to my post. The answers are certinally food for thought.
I have the second property on the market with two real estate firms for over a year. There has been only a half a dozen enquiries and a few offer just stupid money to buy the property.
many thanks again to all.
Exactly. There is no point getting a knot about this, both parties incomes and expenditures will be considered. Just make sure you account for absolutely everything, and try to have proof of these expenditures, no matter how small and trivial because they all add up.Forget about half the mortgage.
If you earn €500 and you need €400 for reasonable expenses, that's all you can afford.
Keep emotion out out of it. It isn't about emotion, the problem with emotion is you may well promise too much and put yourself in difficulty.
Keep yourself calm and collected, this isn't about what she wants or thinks she is entitled to or what you think you should pay.
The judge is an independent third party, put the facts in front of him/her, income and fair expenditure. This isn't about what she wants or thinks she is entitled to, them days are gone.
You've been laid of, where on the dole and are trying to earn an income. Don't be penalised for that. Explain all that, you are trying your best, don't promise the unachievable.
Ask for receipts when you're paying for petrol to collect and drop off the kids, phone credit to keep in contact with her and the kids, cost of food when they are in your care...cinema ticket stubs, literally EVERYTHING. It will all work in your favour.
Mediation, I would scream this one from the mountain top if I could. I understand that not all relationships end well, but as two grown ups, there are other people that come first. The children. Time to lay down the weapons and do the best thing by them, and be fair to each other.You need to work out estimates, food, clothing, school expenses, medical expenses, holidays/hobbies per child and divided by two and ideally pay that much.
It's not always possible but, this is what happens in mediation.
I agreeYou seem like you were a nice Dad and Hubby.
Previous point verified. These children grow up. They see and hear all, and what each party does and says effects them all for life.ok, not sure how welcome this post is going to be but... I know you have your own home to maintain now but please just keep it between you and your ex, please dont drag your kids into it.
Thank you for your post (:
Be careful here, I highly doubt that is the case. Someone she is merely seeing is not responsible for her expenses.My wife now has a partner. However he spends a lot of time in the house, but never stays over night when the kids are there. I suppose he gives my ex some money to the household.
You're a kind man, and it's fantastic that your kids are your main focus here. Just relax, please. If all of this exceeds your wage, she's not going to get anything near it. This will all come right in the end.I wish to provide for the kids first before anything else. Our seperation will come later. My ex said she wants €500 per week. This exceeds my wages by €63 a week. She is extremely unrealistic. I am at my wits end.
May I ask you, how long have you actually being living apart? I know you said you were seperated 2 years, but how long are you out of the house?
Why not apply for a seperation now? I think you may be wasting money on solicitors seperating maintenance, maybe access etc., when you're later likely to seperate anyway.
I have a seperation case coming up in the next couple of months (thank god) and it covers all.
I'm trying for a seperation agreement at present, and when my solicitor did the run through of what was on the table, I asked if it could be written into the agreement that my ex pay me NO spousal maintenance. The solicitor nearly swallowed his tongue when I said that, because it's seemingly unheard of. The reason I did that is, a break up is hard enough as it is, so I'd prefer that he could use that money towards setting up a new life for himself. I actually had to convince my solicitor to leave it out, he put up a strong argument against it.
This. I. Hate. with. a. passion. Jesus H Christ!Your comments are just as I feel. My ex has at times used my kids a a vice or hold against me.(correction our kids)
When will people learn?! The moment you become a parent, you are NO LONGER the most important people in the equation, its the kids! They don't ask to be born, but they do deserve to be housed, clothed, fed, and to live in a safe and healthy envirnoment. If the last bit means you have to live apart, then so be it, but the rest HAS to be honoured. If they have an environment where one parent is using access, or with-holding money etc., it will result in damage to the child emotionally.
Sorry for the rant, but it's my major peeve.
And you are not expected to give any more than a reasonable amount of what you can give, please please just relax about this. But be sensible and document all of your living expenses, and of any incurred when you have the children, paying for their full maintenance etc.Put it this way, I cannot give what I do not have. My funds are limited.
It might seem low, but lets face it, you've been through the loop with regards to work. Times were good by the industry you gave (at one time), but not now. You went through a series of unemployment and jobs that didnt work out. This shows me you're someone who had their niche, but when the arse fell out of that, you tried anything and everything to keep the money in. That is commendable. You're being very harsh on yourself Irish Dad, whenever it was there, you paid your way - and to excess from what I judge.Thanks for your reply.
That figure of €285 a month for the children seams very low. I was thinking of paying inwards of €800+ per month for the children and half the house morguage.
I will have to put down in figures my exact expenses for a month.
I got to turn in now.
For when you do have to go to court, present all of the details of your on/off employment also, social welfare payments etc. You couldnt have been expected to keep up a particular sum of cash throughout all this, as it wasn't possible, and a court will account for this.
+1 to thisOh and don't forget that you should be able to avail of additional tax reliefs which you might want to factor in to what you can afford.
Check everything out, to make sure you have all the financial support that is available to you.Mr. Presentable wrote: »OP, let a Judge decide what's fair. You are leading with your heart while your ex is leading with her head. The €500 per week she wants would enable her and her new partner to quit their jobs and live off you. Balls to that!
Take it to Court.
Roughly put, but 100% agree. Just have everything ready to prove your expenditure. Its the only way this will be dealt with fairly.
It's a hard time OP, you're a good man and I wish the best for you.
(Sorry about the long post, you can tell when someone is in the depths of it :pac:)0 -
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Kildrought wrote: »an unrelated partner is not expected to contribute to the spousal or child maintenance.
It was calculated when my father was being assessed, he was on the SW and she is employed by the HSE.
My father was made pay €400 a month for 2 daughters in Secondary Education, that's it, nothing more, which was a good enough sum.
Calculate your earnings, and expenditure, after that add a few pound to do something small for yourself eg the Pub once a week/cost of a gym membership and after that, then you have to discuss with the ex how much you have. Remember, for the sake of your mental health you have to do something small for yourself too.
And well done for wanting to take responsibility for your kids 0 -
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Having read through the posts I do not seem to see any mention of your ex wife declaring your maintenance to Social Welfare. It would seem from the figures of her weekly income that she is not declaring anything. I will stand corrected of course... Her weekly SW lone parent allowance would be reduced after a housing allowance of approx 95euro given against maintenance the balance will be termed her 'means' and SW will be reduced according to their calculations.
Maintenance at a rate of 500euro per week, wow that is all I can say...
I presume she draws monthly assist for the mortgage in the form of morgage subsidy allowance from the health centre too, plus medical card, plus back to school allowance. She may also be applying for clothing grants and emergency grants that could be paid by the SW officer at their discretion. You should be aware of this type of income also OP.0 -
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This discussion has been closed.
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