Brownstuff Audax 30/07/11

cnz8euq6x7syj2

Hi,

Got my name down for this one. Anyone received the routesheet for this yet or even plotted the course on any of the GPS sites?
I sent in my forms late so I probably wont receive the sheets in time and would love some advanced warning of what is ahead for me. Have a rough idea from the route but dont want to get lost in Tipperary for the day.

Thanks.

Dromcarrig

Check out the following for the route as mapped by Dave. http://ridewithgps.com/routes/570274 The route sheet has not been published. Have been told it will be available on the day!!

cnz8euq6x7syj2

Thanks Dromcarrig

Dave emailed me to let me know too.

Its a whopper. 422 plus about 10/15 there and back. Apparently this audax helps with insomnia!!!

See you Saturday.

Dr_Colossus

A whopper alright and with over 5400m of climbing a killer. The time limit would want to be increased to allow for the extra distance as another 22km at the end of a gruelling 400 is no joke.

CramCycle

Dr_Colossus wrote: »

A whopper alright and with over 5400m of climbing a killer. The time limit would want to be increased to allow for the extra distance as another 22km at the end of a gruelling 400 is no joke.

Over such a distance it won't make such a huge difference unless your really skirting the cut off time and don't worry, I'll let no one steal the Lanterne Rouge title from me.

cnz8euq6x7syj2

What is the time limit on this?would it be unrealistic to think i could do an average of about 22k per hour?need to be at a christening for 11on Sunday!!

CramCycle

Analia Nervous Scorpion wrote: »

What is the time limit on this?would it be unrealistic to think i could do an average of about 22k per hour?need to be at a christening for 11on Sunday!!

Time limit is 15km/hr minimum, so about 27 hours. You'll make the christening, whether you'll be fit for it is another question.

cnz8euq6x7syj2

As long as i make it ill be ok.there should be a pew or two that i can sit my sore arse on.as long as it aint a saddle ill be happy.

20-22k would be an attainable average do you think?

I cycled to cork Sunday two weeks ago in rain and strong wind and averaged 26over 276k.in fairness though i only did about a quarter of the climbing so i am thinking(hoping) it can be done in that sort of time frame???

CramCycle

Analia Nervous Scorpion wrote: »

I cycled to cork Sunday two weeks ago in rain and strong wind and averaged 26over 276k.in fairness though i only did about a quarter of the climbing so i am thinking(hoping) it can be done in that sort of time frame???

It's doable, from experience (ie this may not apply to you) my speed tends to drop off after 300km until I get a decent rest but if you have kept up 26km/hr I wouldn't worry to much. You will also have a small group with you for the beginning so your average speed will also be higher for the first 50 to 100km.

cnz8euq6x7syj2

Thats great thanks.Yeah i would be the same.i get bored more than physically tired of cycling and a decent break and feed always works a treat after those kind of distances.ill look forward to hiding in that little group you talk about and for alot more than 50/100k!!!maybe 422k instead.

I am predicting alot of (more)pain for the last 100k+

LastGasp

Analia Nervous Scorpion wrote: »

I cycled to cork Sunday two weeks ago in rain and strong wind and averaged 26

If you're averaging 26 you need have no worries. The rest of us generally average 22-26kph rolling, and it generally ends up around 20kph including stops. There are a few a bit quicker, and a few a bit slower. It's entirely up to yourself how long you spend "faffing around" but if you keep delays to a minimum you'll have loads of time to get to the christening in time for a snooze.
See you Saturday at 6am !
Cheers, LG

thebouldwhacker

Your all nuts, its an impossible course with so much climbing and distance that it is a three day event shoved into one, LOOK AT IT FFS!!!




........and I am fuming with jealousy that I cant make it.......

cnz8euq6x7syj2

LastGasp wrote: »

Analia Nervous Scorpion wrote: »

I cycled to cork Sunday two weeks ago in rain and strong wind and averaged 26

If you're averaging 26 you need have no worries. The rest of us generally average 22-26kph rolling, and it generally ends up around 20kph including stops. There are a few a bit quicker, and a few a bit slower. It's entirely up to yourself how long you spend "faffing around" but if you keep delays to a minimum you'll have loads of time to get to the christening in time for a snooze.
See you Saturday at 6am !
Cheers, LG

ah but have you factored in all those wrong turns i am going to make that bring me via Westport LG??

See you Saturday.

LastGasp

Analia Nervous Scorpion wrote: »

ah but have you factored in all those wrong turns i am going to make that bring me via Westport LG??

See you Saturday.

Follow Rottenhat - that's what I do most of the time !

cnz8euq6x7syj2

Cant see the garmin lasting the whole day.

Any solutions apart from bringing a charger and USB cable around??

I will be travelling very light and dont want to have to bring the kitchen sink with me.

Dr_Colossus

Analia Nervous Scorpion wrote: »

Cant see the garmin lasting the whole day.

Any solutions apart from bringing a charger and USB cable around??

I will be travelling very light and dont want to have to bring the kitchen sink with me.

Not that I know off, my garmin lasts about 16 hours while routing and recording so you could try minimising the recording/routing to prolong the battery a bit and tear around the course to get in before it dies.

If you've a hub dynamo you could charge it off that but you'll need a power regulator to ensure the garmin charges correctly as it requires a fairly consistent charge. I'll be bringing a charger and USB cable for mine as I'll be pushing the outer time limits given my struggle up hills and there sure are alot of hills on this route. If going the charger and ubs cable route check your usb cable before hand that it doesn't have a built in capacitor as some usb cables cause the garmin to shutdown while charging.

I don't know how possible it is to travel very light on a tough 422km route given that you'll need to carry lights and extra clothing/food etc for the changing temperatures/weather over the course of the day/night. I'll be bringing a well packed seatpost mounted bag but then again I always end up bringing more stuff than I use which isn't good either.

TinyExplosions

Dr_Colossus wrote: »

Not that I know off, my garmin lasts about 16 hours while routing and recording so you could try minimising the recording/routing to prolong the battery a bit and tear around the course to get in before it dies.

If you've a hub dynamo you could charge it off that but you'll need a power regulator to ensure the garmin charges correctly as it requires a fairly consistent charge. I'll be bringing a charger and USB cable for mine as I'll be pushing the outer time limits given my struggle up hills and there sure are alot of hills on this route. If going the charger and ubs cable route check your usb cable before hand that it doesn't have a built in capacitor as some usb cables cause the garmin to shutdown while charging.

I don't know how possible it is to travel very light on a tough 422km route given that you'll need to carry lights and extra clothing/food etc for the changing temperatures/weather over the course of the day/night. I'll be bringing a well packed seatpost mounted bag but then again I always end up bringing more stuff than I use which isn't good either.

Something like this can be very useful -using AA batteries to recharge the garmin is the way to go if you don't have a dynamo setup -you can zip tie the unit under the stem and it's perfectly adequate.

I've even got one you could borrow if you fancy, or Maplins have similar

cnz8euq6x7syj2

TinyExplosions wrote: »

Something like this can be very useful -using AA batteries to recharge the garmin is the way to go if you don't have a dynamo setup -you can zip tie the unit under the stem and it's perfectly adequate.

I've even got one you could borrow if you fancy, or Maplins have similar

Thanks Tiny.

Going to pick something similar up in Argos. appreciate the offer and thanks for the advice

thebouldwhacker

Best of luck guys, nice weather down south for ye!

thebouldwhacker

No replies yet, must have been a toughie.

rughdh

thebouldwhacker wrote: »

No replies yet, must have been a toughie.

:eek:

CramCycle

AFAIK most made it back, I did not make the time limit but I was the Lanterne Rouge by about 4 hours after sleeping rough in Clonmel for a bit after I gave up due to numerous issues and the decided that Clonmel wasn't any better than finishing the route. I'll do a write up tomorrow. Clonmel is no longer a nice place in my mind.

Dr_Colossus

A toughie is a bit of an understatement, it was a killer. Endless hills and very steep and draggy also, apart from the big mountains in the first 125km there was a hugh amount of 12%+ sections that greeted you at every turn. Weather was very dull and overcast all day with mist and drizzle in the mountains and over the night. Got back to Rathfarman this morning at 07:30 absolutely shattered but glad now to have completed my SR series

rughdh

Dr_Colossus wrote: »

...but glad now to have completed my SR series

Well done on the SR series. Well deserved with this particular 400!

Dr_Colossus wrote: »

Got back to Rathfarman this morning at 07:30...

LOL. I was in Leighlinbridge then, or thereabouts.

Had to abort at the turn on the N81 for Hacketstown, otherwise I'd be still out there. Managed 435k all in, though. Had trouble staying awake for about 3 hours around dawn. Managed to say upright, nonetheless, but had to spend most of that time off the bike.

Thanks to Dave B for organising it and the various entrants for their company throughout, especially CramCycle and RM. Also, thanks to Carlow Road CC for the warnings on the descent of the Nine Stones and Marble City Cyclers for free entry into a fair amount of their Tour of Kilkenny route.

thebouldwhacker

Fair play, it takes some pair just to start!

LastGasp

I spent most of the event with Rottenhat, Geancster, Dromcarrig, and Andy. Jim had gone on ahead, and there was a group behind including CramCycle, Rughdh, Alan and Ronnie. The last I heard of Cram Cycle was a faint cry of "Caaar Baaack" from what sounded like half a mile behind, when I was halfway up Slievemaan. We got over the 3 main hills Sally Gap, Shay Elliott and Slievemaan reasonably OK, apart from my shredded back tyre puncturing. The problem with full mudguards is that you can't see your back tyre. It was new in March and worn through to the canvas. Luckily I had a new one stashed so that was OK. We got to Tinahely for Centra Breakfast of Sausage Baguette etc, and I was surprised no-one else caught us up before we left. Headed off again in the general direction of Corrabut Gap and Mount Leinster. Again this was ok, but dull and drizzly so no nice views on the way up. Corrabut is steep, but thankfully not too long, and the gentle drag from there up to the Nine Stones is really nice if the weather co-operates. We flew down the descent hopping the cattle grids, and navigated a few tricky instructions to get on the right route for Carrick-on-Suir. Got there and settled down outside the cafe on Sean Kelly Square for hefty helpings of Lasagne and Fish Cakes. Fuelled up we headed off again a bit after 4pm, and made our way along the rolling roads to Clonmel, Fethard, and into Urlingford for "Dinner" at the Apple Green Filling Station, consisting of sandwiches, chocolate milkshakes and assorted junk food. At this stage we were getting chilly after sitting around, and put on extra arm warmers, leg warmers etc. I put on a light waterproof and regretted it as soon as we moved off, as it was too warm, but I couldn't be bothered taking it off again. From Urlingford we headed off to Freshford and on to Leighlinbridge. Somewhere along here we crossed The Butts, and The Ridge which was all seriously hilly and becoming very hard work. Then we came into Nurney, and the climbing continued - as mentioned earlier every time we rounded a corner there was another steep ascent. Most of them were short and sharp, with a few longer ones thrown in for good measure. We were all suffering by now, me more than most.
We had a reasonably straightforward run for a while through Hacketstown and Kiltegan, and then came yet more climbing until we finally got back to the N81 just South of Poulaphouca. Then it was up the N81 for a bit, until the Tougher Garage where we swung left into Ballymore Eustace for another bloody hill, which brought us back to the N81 again for the last time. Then it was straight up the N81 to Blessington, take the right and headed up to Manor Kilbride, turned right and left and followed a small backroad until it emerged almost at Brittas. I was on my own at this stage (around 3am) having dropped off the back and I was getting sleepy. I nodded off at one stage, and woke up to find myself heading straight for a 6ft concrete block gatepost. Thankfully I wasn't going fast, and managed to grab a handful of brakes to slow myself down before I hit it, and just twisted my bars, and knocked the front wheel a touch out of line. I sorted that out, and headed off again to Brittas and took the right turn for the last bit of punishment up the hill over Ballinascorney/Stone Cross. Dromcarrig had waited for me at Brittas, and we stayed together for the last few km's over the climb and down to Rathfarnham, finally getting back to the Yellow House at 4.09am, 22hrs and 9mins after starting out. Average rolling speed was around 23.3kph, with 5415m of ascent. Big thanks to the rest of the group who were all a bit stronger than me and helped to tow me along for long periods. Well done to Geancster who completed his first 400 Audax with no problems. His only complaint which I heard a few times through the night was "It's not getting any easier, is it ?", but he was still flying along looking very strong and making it look easy !
This was a really tough event and well done to everyone who took part, commiserations to those who didn't get to complete - better luck next year !

rottenhat

The Brown Stuff 400 was something I had heard about in legend, a 400 going over every hill in Leinster that with customary understatement Paul O'Donoghue described as "quite hard". Apparently one year the Irish sullied their hitherto excellent record at PBP with a string of DNFs, resulting in a stinging circular from el Presidente Eddie Dunne (I'll have to see if there's a copy in the archives - Eddie's far from diplomatic at the best of times, so this must have been inflammatory in the extreme). In response, John Bayley sat down with his OS maps to draw up a 400 so demanding that no-one who could finish it would be going to Paris under-prepared. It hasn't been run in some years (traditionally it's reserved for PBP years) so I was pleased to see that John's brother Dave had put it in the calendar for this year.

Fortunately I was able to persuade him that the traditional starting time of 2am was insane, and the rain that was in the forecast earlier in the week proved to be no more than a few periods of light drizzle, but aside from that, the Brown Stuff was every bit as hard as it's reputation suggested. The opening section over the three best-known climbs in Wicklow is easy enough when you're fresh but you need to be very careful to avoid burning your matches this early. It had been two years since I last climbed Mount Leinster and I had forgotten quite how steep Corrobutt Gap was. I only barely had the breath to threaten to shove Jim F into a hedge if he didn't stop talking to me on the way up. From then on it was a war of attrition, long drags around Graiguenamanagh, Kilmoganny and Rathgormack draining more strength from your legs. The easy run from Clonmel to Freshford lulls you before you hit the testing rollers of the Butts and the Ridge. Last Gasp is being a bit generous when he claims there were few complaints from Geancster - positioned a little behind Geancster and Andy K and a little ahead of Last Gasp and Dromcarrig, I could hear a barrage of bitching and moaning from both directions as tired legs had to start working again.

Saturday night was just kicking off as we passed through Tullow with drunken and tearful youngsters screaming at each other in the main street - who needs Jerry Springer when you have rural towns at midnight? The roads through the Wicklow foothills were frankly savage, barely paved, steep, rain starting to fall again and the endless feeling that you're cycling through a long, dark, tunnel. The few stretches that I recognized mainly prompted the thought "oh God, we're on this effing road" - there is a world of pain concealed in those innocuous-looking bumps around 370km on the elevation profile. The last push over Ballinascorney was worth it for the beautiful sight of the lights of Dublin spread out below you, and the knowledge that from there it was downhill all the way to Rathfarnham.

Definitely one of the toughest rides I've done, the equal of the Wales trips from last year in terms of climbing but rougher on the body by far given the state of the road surfaces. Chapeau to Dr. Colossus for finishing out his first (but not his last, I'm sure) SR series the hard way, thanks to Last Gasp, Dromcarrig, Geancster and Andy K for the excellent company along the way, and commiserations to those who did not finish.

CramCycle

I wrote this last night but then spent most of this morning correcting both spelling mistakes and cursing, apologies if there are still bits to be tidied.

The day started well, up at 4 (after bed at a little after 2), I decided to hit my alarm till half 4 as there was no need to get up, then slept until 5. I jumped up, showered and prepared to leave. I don’t know what it is about distances over 200 that scare me so after completing a few but I wasted every minute of last minute preparation sitting down thinking of nothing, trying to think of something I done wrong. I had planned to spin into work to get a few spare tubes and my multitool but after faffing about, and turning back to my house 3 times (my missus is a way and I am freaked that I will kill her pets or burn the house down) I hit the road at about 5:50. Down to the yellow house at 6:10 I was already sweating and unsurprisingly one of the last to leave (the other I was too stupid to realise at the time was probably Geansctar). Before we were even 2km away I was sweating profusely and breathing hard. I tried to keep quiet to convince Geansctar that I was fit for this after talking a bit about PBP and how missing the group was a setback but not an issue by any standard.

Much to my surprise we met Last Gasp and RottenHat within 40 minutes despite starting 10 minutes late. I couldn’t help feeling that many thought I started events to fast and then died off when it was commented that it took so long for me to catch up when I was only 10 minutes late (I’m getting a reputation for this sort of thing much to the chargrin of the organisers).
Setting into what I believed was a nice steady pace we plodded on nicely to Laragh, a couple of close calls near sheep as I failed to realise that I was more tired than expected. I got off my bike for water and said I’d catch up, I seen Ronnie heading the wrong direction which threw me for 5 minutes as he knows more than me. Luckily I seen a lovely young lass with a dog and asked did she see a group of cyclists heading off in the right direction. Yes, she giggled slightly, hopefully not at the lycra as she was walking a dog at 6:30 in the morning and I know which I believe to be more ridiculous.

I caught up with RottenHat at the top of Shay Elliott and continued on with him on the descent and then up the next descent climb. I have never come from this direction and am now convinced it is the tougher direction (also that little bridge thing could kill a man at the bottom of the Shay Elliott as he attempts not to take flight). We separated on the climb up Slieve Mann as I was eaten alive by flies and midgets but came within 50 metres of LastGasp (I presume that’s who it was). Despite my earlier struggle in the first half hour, I was feeling better. I pushed on and was feeling stronger as the climb continued. Reaching the top I felt a new man and started my descent. One thing I never realised having come up that climb from the far side was the f’ing disgrace off the quality of the road. You don’t notice it as you are just pushing up, well you do, but it doesn’t seem that sh1t.

Going slow I came to a patch where potholes were almost unmissable, not a choice and my rear tyre blew out. Flipping it over I attempted to change a tube as every midget and fly quite literally tried to eat me alive, half my time was wasted running around like a pansy with his knickers in a twist.
Tube changed and now the lanterne rouge, everyone else passed me as I gave the warnings, which were quickly justified by Ronnie shouting some deeply unpleasant words (I heard you so don’t deny it). Depressingly I was already yawning, this was not going to be my best performance.
Tipping away nicely, I settled in with Ronnie and rughdh for the next while.

Making one mild error on the route sheet, Ronnie and me became separated and I reunited with rughdh and Ronnie at the control in Myshall after adding a few km (only 3) onto my route.

We span away nicely for the next while before making the turn prior to the turn for the nine stones. I initially tried to slip into a very low gear as advised by the route sheet but accidentally got a lot of chain cross going on and ended up having to push up at a nice speed with 34-11, Ronnie cheering me on and rughdh pointing out I’d made a wrong choice of gears as he happily rolled up and I attempted to sprint to get it over with. Getting a small plateau I changed to more comfortable gearing and plodded along. As we turned the corner to the final bit of the climb, Ronnie kindly attempted to goad me by giving running Tour de France style commentary and calling me a failing Alberto Contador (the love of hills and the taking of banned substances being common place for us both).

Making it to the top I cheered on some kid who to my disgust sailed past, not out of breath, “Tough isn’t it”. Little **** Young lad wasn’t carrying an extra few kilos so that is the excuse I am sticking with for his performance over mine.

Turning the corner to the nine stones viewpoint, I found climbing a lot easier and sailed up this section quite easily, beautiful scenery and the previous climb made this appear a doddle. Stopping at the top with Ronnie for a few minutes, Ronnie and I went on after a bit in the direction of Borris on a lovely descent except for the cattle grids. The first sounded like my tyres had shredded and the second I seen an off-road alternative at the last second and sided around it.

Rughdh joined us again near Carrick on suir where we stopped for a bite to eat; I again got lost on the way into Carrick on suir as I followed the route sheet and took a left after the rail tracks. And anther left a minute later. I discovered quickly that a wrong turn had been taken when no traffic lights turned up 300 metres later after I travelled an estimated 500. I skipped a page on the route sheet and headed back into town where I met rughdh and Ronnie.

The food was OK, nothing wrong with it as such but for the price I would have expected more. That said the coffee and cream afterwards was fantastic.
I took of slowly from Carrick but then found my legs and took off like a shot from my two companions, feeling good and powering along, I pulled over just outside Clonmel to have a look at a rattling noise that had been bugging me. 30 minutes later and still no answer as to what it was, Ronnie passed me and told me it was my legs, rughdh passed 2 minutes later, checked I was OK and went on. Time had been wasted, I was just inside the limit and I decided to press on.

Before I had even left Clonmel I decided it was time to flick on the front light.
No response.
NO M*TH*RF*CK*NG RESPONSE.

I hopped off and spent the next while trying to fix it, two visits to two separate houses involving the borrowing of tin foil and sellotape and I was nowhere nearer to getting it fixed. No spare light either SH1T. Looked like packing time. Went for the train station (missed that). Then Rughdh came along looking mighty annoyed.

“Are we on the right road?”

“as far as I know but I haven’t been thinking for a while”

We chatted for a bit, told him I was packing but after careful deliberation, decided to say we were on the right road. Out comes a beautiful front light from rughdhs bag, here you go. I was over the moon and happy to get moving knowing we were well outside the limit but only 2 kilometres outside the town I could feel my ankle go weird. I apologised and said I was going back, I had an aunt not too far away and was going to pack and crash at hers, that was the last I seen of Rughdh. I rolled into town (I did not realise we had climbed a hill out of it) and went to ring family to find contacts. My aunt was not answering her phone (and rightly so, it was 10 on a Saturday night). I went to the Garda station to find bus times (the bus/rail station had none) and the names of any hotels/B+Bs around. The Gardaí were great and pointed me to Dunnes for a bus at 01:30. I looked for a hostel or hotel but could find none (most seem to have closed down in Clonmel).

I honkered down but could not rest so cycled around Clonmel till I found one late night shop to get a paper to read and headed back to the bus shelter at Dunnes to get some shelter from the wind. I then found out I did have a spare light and all my messing about had been a waste in time but I was so far gone I just gave up. I tried to sleep but there was no going. Eventually I found out that drunks in Clonmel are rampant, in fact it is my soul belief that there are nothing but drunks in Clonmel as they cheered “are you a ninja from the pavement”. I moved on to safer areas where the likely hood of a couple of drunks having a go was less. As it turns out, the bus does not collect from Dunnes and I had in fact missed it. Not wanting to stay and unable to sleep I decided to get moving again much to my misery. Fully covered up I was surprised I could not get warm but ploughed on regardless.
I was tempted to take the N9 back to Dublin but was unsure if it hit motorway or not and decided it better to get lost and fall asleep on the route than get lost in the middle of nowhere and risk a re-enactment of deliverance.
I made Fethard a lot quicker than expected but was unhappy with my lighting arrangements, my back up caused a lot of shine on the bike instead of the road and made focusing hard but I carried on as it was getting nippy enough whenever I stopped. This inspiration of not wanting to die due to pneumonia kept me spinning like a magnet at the North Pole, the low gears made me depressed so I stayed in the high ones and just forced them against my own common sense on any incline. I almost killed myself at Urlingford where an attempted right turn failed as I had unclipped and hadn’t realised and pressed down on nothing and splatted myself onto my own handlebars quite forcibly, destroying the good feeling I had built up. I toddled on to Freshford less enthusiastic after that but I made it nonetheless.

Then things started to get hard, I was getting brief respites of feeling good and powering away but my mind would wander and I skirted the ditch several times and almost made myself sick between shock and tiredness, I found a nice gear after one shock to many resting in my middle ring and somewhere between 11 and the middle at the back, Ididn’t change my gears again until Hacketstown. I was finding anything requiring thinking was not in my best interest and found the one gear mentality gave me a real boost. I powered on up and down for the next while, feeling better than I had most of the day. In fact all the little hills were like mini challenges to keep me focused and the longer ones just disappeared into the back of my mind as a pleasant experience, truly |was on fire (except for that whole time limit thing, I decided to ignore that as it depressed me greatly at this point).

I made it to Ballymore Eustace plugging along at a good pace, late in the morning at this stage and was kind of disgusted to know that if I had realised I had a spare light I would have made it with a little bit of time to spare. I realise that a few of the lads had plans to head up the N81 after this (I don’t know if they did but I decided that I had already failed, miserably, may as well do it in style).

I climbed Bohernabreena not long before midday and enjoyed it immensely, hell of climb but there is something satisfying about it, I had run out of water but didn’t care, in my mind dehydration was for the weak (admittedly finishing out of time was for the weak as well but let’s not be pedantic about such things), the routesheet meant nothing to me at this point as I knew the area and was having mild difficulty with left or right directions so just followed my own way into Rathfarnham. I stood beside the Yellow House smiling and nodding at passers-by who clearly thought me odd for this world and then when my smugness passed I popped into Centra for water, which I had forgotten I needed. I couldn’t actually drink at this stage so I just poured it on my face and hoped for the best.

Getting home though after the high of finishing I was tremendously down with myself, this failure put an end to my SR series and to my RtYR, but it could have been worse, I might not have entered.

cnz8euq6x7syj2

First thing is first I made it to the christening with 4 ½ hours sleep!!! Need a nap halfway through the festivities but was back in the business of drinking shortly after.

So this was my first audax 400 and overall I enjoyed it although at the time it was rough, especially when the sun set.

The day didn’t start too well. I was late by about ten minutes so by the time I got across from the northside I was red lining it which is not a good way to start a 400+ker. Dave told me I wasn’t Paddy last but instead Paddy second last. Cramcycle rocked up a min after me and he led the charge to chase down the rest. We caught up with them and formed a group going towards Laragh. We say the obligatory toe rags drinking on the bonnet of a robbed car (I am guessing it was robbed judging by their choice of parking spot. 5metres into the bogland!!!)


The Wicklow/Dublin Mountains are really nice and peaceful at that hour. The irony wasn’t lost on me, the calm before the storm. The county council really need to take a look at the Slieve Mann. That road is shocking. It is a pure lottery getting down it without puncturing. I can’t remember seeing a road in as bad a state. Managed to dodge all bar one which rattled me and popped my water bottle out which I had to go back and get. I considered myself lucky.

We marched on, myself and Andy continued ahead while Last Gasp, Dromcarrig and Rottenhat followed closely behind. We went into the Michelin star centra in Myshall where i met Jim sitting outside looking very chilled. To my amazement I learned he had cycled from Kilkenny to the yellow house and was doing the 400 and going to return to Kilkenny after. Probably adding an extra 200 for his troubles. Fair play to him. Only saw him a few times. He was flying at all times.

From Myshall on we formed a group of 5 which was great. For me, on a cycle of that size it’s not the distance or the hills that get to me first. It’s the boredom and particularly when it’s dark. To me all roads look the same, well at least country road. It’s good to have a few heads to bounce off so thanks to Andy and LastGasp for their banter, Dromcarrig for his wit and Rottenhat for his almost impeccable guidance. We only took one minor wrong turn which took us about 10 metres out of our way and this was quickly rectified. If I had have been left to my own devices I would still be out there.

Carrick to Clonmel was a nice road. Slowly rising and nice scenery then a lovely decent into clonmel. One of the better parts for me for the pure scenic value.

The Butt and ridge were tough. It’s not the height or gradient just the constant up and down. The light was fading rapidly at that stage and tiredness was starting to kick in. Plus these roads were dreadful quality and to top it off we came across canine avenue. Every house at least two dogs and they had a dislike for grown men dressed in Lycra. Andy gave the mindless mutts a shower or two so they owners can thank him for cleaning them. All this made this stretch seem endless.

This is when I started to “bitch and moan”. Can I be blamed? Probably not but sure it’s all part of long distances like this. Plus I didn’t have the foggiest where I was and as I said before all the roads looked the same. For all I knew we were doing circuits of the same few roads!!

From there on it was pretty constant. We would all take turns on the front of the flats and on the hills we would just go our own pace but we all managed to stick together throughout. I had to give up my turns on the front on some of the latter parts as my light bracket was broke and shaking and not to mention it was crap in comparison to the other guys lights which were very impressive. I felt like Stevie Wonder on a bike for some parts. I kept looking over my shoulder thinking Sebantien Loeb was behind me in his rally car.

We stopped in Hackettstown and I realised that five gents on bikes with rally spotlights on the front seem to draw some attention. We were greeted with every drunken hobo in the town. Some Aussie guys along with his buddies started to babble incoherently about cycling, then jumped into his transit and drove his brothers in arms home. Jesus they get away with murder in that town!!

Heard a lot about a famed Karaoke bar in Hatchet town but it failed to materialise. Such a shame as I was looking for it.

Then came Donard. The road in and out was tough for me. I was starting to feel cold and it had started to rain so I was really glad to get onto some decent roads and start to see signs for Dublin.

We did the full Ballymore Eustace then onto Manor Kilbride(the five of us were together until here then LastGasp and Dromcarrag took their feet off the gas or us three pushed on, don’t know which is true), Brittas (started to feel like home from here) then we came to the lovely Ballinascorney and we were home and dry. Beautiful sight after the day that was in it. We didn’t take the easy route of the N81 as much as I would’ve like to and I am glad we didn’t as I would’ve felt like I cheated a little.

Made it to the Yellow house for about 430 with Andy and rottenhat. Spent 2 mins chatting before I did a danny and got home after 5 and straight to bed.

I like to gamble slightly when I cycle. My gamble was to travel ultra light. A few executive decisions were made. I left the jacket at home and just went for a long sleeved base layer for when it got dark and went for shorts with no leg warmers. Gamble nearly paid off until Urlingford when it got Baltic after our stop in the delightful Applegreen service station. Big thanks to Andy who gave me his knee warmers which were brilliant. Overall the gamble paid off but just about due to a fellow sufferer’s kindness.

Well would I do it again you ask. Not a bloody chance. That’s another one I can tick off my list. Thank god they don’t do this every year. Although in four years time maybe I will forget about how tough it was and my brain might talk my body into doing it again.

Give me La Marmotte any day above this.

Roll on the Alpen Brevet in 2 weeks, training is almost complete!


Good points:
Weather
Banter
Travelling light
Jelly babies
Gate crashing the tour of Kilkenny


Bad points:
Lateness
Slieve Mann road
General road surfaces
New Birmingham
The butts & Ridge
Satanic dogs
Toe rag joy riders
Road into and out of Donard
Knobs who drive at 100 on roads with freshly laid road chippings

Thanks to Dave for coming together with the course and running it. Thanks to all who did in especially the Andy and Last Gasp for the banter and Rottenhat and dromcarrig for their guidance.

Sorry to hear about your ride Cram. That sounds like hell. Fair play to you for keeping it lit and getting home in once piece.

Congrats on the SR series Dr Col.

And finally I want to wish all the guys the best with the PBP. Judging by the performances you will all fly along.

oflahero

Some great reads here. It sounds utterly ghastly. Well done to all.

smacl

Hats off to all that did this and thanks for the inspiring reads. Sounds absolutely gruelling, and borderline insane.