Family only wedding ceremony, when should the guests arrive for reception???

giggles83

Hi Guys,

We've decided to just have our immediate family at our wedding, were having a civil ceremony at a hotel and the reception is going to be held at the same location. My question is we are getting married at half 2, what time should we ask our guests to arrive at??? Were having photographs taken close by, or potentially at the hotel depending on our weather!!

We were thinking 5 o'clock with everyone seated for a meal at 6 o'clock, will this give us enough time to meet and great without rushing? Also we have a guy going to play music while all our guests are arriving so should we ask guests to arrive earlier seeing as we have some sort of entertainment. Don't want people bored to death waiting, any advise from anyone????

stargazer 68

Eh 2pm - or are they not invited to the cermony itself?

giggles83

No like my post said, only having immediate family at the ceremony!

sweetie

I think 5 sounds grand. Bear in mind most will leave it till half five or even six but a wedding meal never starts on time!

Sunbeam61

I'd reckon if you say 4pm perhaps the majority will be there for 5pm.
I think this is about enough time for everyone to chat & relax before the meal at 6pm.

Btw, I'm doing the same thing i.e family only for wedding in church then full reception at hotel, tho I'm not sure how to word the invite ?? any thoughts ?

giggles83

I had the same problem, didn't want to be blunt about it, in the end I've decided to go with

Following our intimate wedding ceremony

x and y

Would like to request your presence at "anyplace" for an evening of celebrations

Were putting in a separate card saying when to arrive for the meal, directions to hotel e.t.c. Was worried people would think there was no meal

Sunbeam61

That sounds good Giggles I'll defo go along those lines too. Have you mentioned your plan for an intimate ceremony to many of your reception guests yet and how did they receive the news ? Is it that unusual at all to be invited to the reception and not the ceremony, would there be many raised eyebrows ? :eek:

Toots

I was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom got married at the hotel and literally had their parents and siblings at the service, I think the service started at 1.30 so all the guests arrived at about 2.30 or 3, it was pretty much like a regular reception (we all got tea/coffee etc on arrival, mingled around, got photos and then had dinner) except the rest of us hadn't been at the actual wedding bit. I didn't notice anyone seeming to be put out about it. In fairness to them, the ceremony room at the castle they got married in was tiny, so they wouldn't have fitted everyone in anyway. I was having a look through my box of old cards there now and I don't think I kept the invitation, so unfortunately can't offer any advice on how to word it

edit: Found it! It reads:

Mr & Mrs Joe Bloggs request the pleasure of the company of
Toots & Partner
at a reception to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Mary Bloggs
to
John Doe
on (date) at (hotel) at 2.30 pm
RSVP

carolinespring

A good friend of mine got married with just family at the service a couple of years ago. It was just the same as a normal wedding but without the service!!! When we arrived at the hotel for 4pm (as o the invite) the bride and groom had not arrive yet so grapped a drink and chatted.

They had the meet and greet as everyone went into dinner. A forml line up of Bride, Groom, Bridesmaids, best man, groomsmen and both sets of perents and siblings.

If you are planning on dinner at 6pm I would say to put 4.30 on the invites as people are always late.

amdublin

Sunbeam61 wrote: »

That sounds good Giggles I'll defo go along those lines too. Have you mentioned your plan for an intimate ceremony to many of your reception guests yet and how did they receive the news ? Is it that unusual at all to be invited to the reception and not the ceremony, would there be many raised eyebrows ? :eek:

Yes.

Just wondering like. Why are you bothering bringing people together to celebrate your wedding when you don't actually want them to witness the wedding?

giggles83

Knew someone would ask this, and the simple answer is because thats how we want it to be!
I could ask the same of people who hate the church but yet get married in a church. Weddings are so traditionally and honestly I think in a lot of cases people do things which they hate simply because its tradition. We agreed years ago that if we were to get married we would do it our way or not at all.
We've had some critisms but honestly the more we explain what were doing the more people are getting on board with the idea. A lot of people think civil ceremonies are clinical but I think its a lovely way to get married, you get to say exactly what you want to each other and tailor it to suit you as a couple. Perhaps were been selfish excluding others but honestly most people in our families don't seem to care so long as they get invited to the knees up!

amdublin

giggles83 wrote: »

...... and the simple answer is because thats how we want it to be!

Yes obviously. But I'm asking why you want it to be that way.

Eg. Do you hate when people bring their kids who make noise or something?

Why do you not want people at ceremony to see you betroth to each other?

giggles83

Cause we want it to be private with the people who we love the most there with us. We want to enjoy our ceremony and one way we are going to do that is to limit it down to people who we are 100% comfortable with and understand us.

At the end of the day the most important person in my life is going to be there and thats all that matters, because its him I'm making this commitment to and not great great aunty Ann.

I'm guessing from your posts you entirely disagree with this, are you married, planning to get married? Also my post was about when to invite guests to join us for the reception, I fail to see how your input is helping with that. Perhaps you should create you own thread to trash out this debate if you feel so strongly on it!

amdublin

giggles83 wrote: »

Cause we want it to be private with the people who we love the most there with us. We want to enjoy our ceremony and one way we are going to do that is to limit it down to people who we are 100% comfortable with and understand us.

At the end of the day the most important person in my life is going to be there and thats all that matters, because its him I'm making this commitment to and not great great aunty Ann.

I'm guessing from your posts you entirely disagree with this, are you married, planning to get married? Also my post was about when to invite guests to join us for the reception, I fail to see how your input is helping with that. Perhaps you should create you own thread to trash out this debate if you feel so strongly on it!

I'm just trying to get my head around why you are happy for great great Aunty Ann to be there at the party but not there at the important part.

Why bother invite them for the meal so?

I'd put on the invite : 4.30 for dinner at 6 ie spell out to them

giggles83

Thank you for your advice amdublin.

To hopefully answer your question on the reception, I don't particularly love my dads family, long history here but anyway they have never done anything so horrible that I wouldn't invite them to the reception but honestly I would hate for them to be at the ceremony. I'm sure you have a relative whom you tolerate but don't particularly love either!

I could be nasty and not invite them at all, but with his entire family coming that might sour relations all together. I don't think i'm been too selfish in asking for our ceremony to be just immediate family. At least I'm guaranteed an hour of peace and what should be a very happy day!!

tinkerbell

giggles83 - it is your day, so it is entirely up to you on how you do it. If you don't want everyone at the ceremony then that is perfectly acceptable! I don't understand why your guests would get their knickers in a twist if they are invited to the reception only part - it's not like getting an invitation to the evening afters, they are still being invited to the reception.

Jees, the more I read about weddings the more they annoy the crap out of me. I can't wait to get married but it's becoming husband + wife is what is important to me, and the honeymoon. As for all this extra stuff like having 100+ guests at a reception, flowers, inviting people just to keep the peace, etc. just makes me squeamish. I used to have this fantasy idea of a big manor-style wedding with tons of guests, the whole works (years ago!!), and the more I think about it the more the idea of having a very small day with closets family + friends is the way to go methinks.

giggles83

Hi Tinkerbell, I'm actually really looking forward to the big day!!! I think like everything in life a wedding will always have certain compromises. I'm not a girly girl so I'm quite taken back by how much I'm enjoying the whole process. Just spent 3 and half hours last night making our invites and got stupidly excited once they were all finished.

Don't get put off the idea of a wedding please, they are some downs but loads of ups on the journey too