Night Terrors and a New Baby

Rosy Posy

I'm expecting my third in a few weeks. My eldest child, aged 4, has recently started waking in the night roaring the house down. He stays in his room and screams at the top of his voice until myself or my husband go in and calm him down, after which he usually says he's scared and comes into our bed. Often he wakes his sister up and she wants in too, which has not been comfortable as I am getting bigger with the baby. I have tried talking to him and telling him if he is scared in the night just to come in without shouting and I'm sorry to say that from time to time I've lost my patience with him when I am sleep deprived.

I am concerned that this situation will make things intolerable when I am getting up in the night to feed a newborn and I'm beginning to get desperate!! Help please!

Chuchoter

Whats his favorite kind of toy? Just came back from living with a family with two boys nearly 4, one of whom never slept always some problem. They had a calender and for each night he didn't wake anyone up, he got a tick. At the end of the 15 ticks he got a little present, which was on a visible high shelf to remind him every day. It worked really well, because really he just felt like getting up. After the 15 days, they have the habit down and the problem is solved.

Ayla

OP - It's probably already occurred to you, but the most obvious reason for this sudden onset of waking is most likely related to the upcoming baby. Your child's likely reliving the experience of being second fiddle after a newborn (ie: after #2 was born) and it's probably causing him distress.

If there are no other obvious physical reasons for this waking, try addressing what the problem probably is - your son's feeling of abandonment/devaluing. Have you talked to him about the upcoming birth, or how another sibling will affect him? Have you been making a conscious effort to spend quality time with him alone, or has your routine been focused on preparing for the upcoming baby?

More than any other positive reinforcement (ie: marks on a calendar or bringing into bed) and more than any negative reinforcement (ie: scolding), addressing the real issue will be much more effective.

wmpdd3

My nephew is 4 and wakes up like that a few nights every week. He has had a big upheaval in his family last year. It started after that. like that he wakes his 3 year old sister he is so loud. It seems involuntary, he is usually not so loud.

He's not even really bothered if he ends up in his mothers bed, he just wakes up hysterical. His mother noticed it was worse when he had cheese or a heavy snack before bed, but even after cutting both those out it still happens.

He can't really put a name on what wakes him up, it can be different from week to week. We just presumed it was something in the family from the father's side.

Mr. Presentable

wmpdd3 wrote: »

We just presumed it was something in the family from the father's side.

What?

Rosy Posy

Thanks for the replies. Ayla, I really thought about what you said and I think that it has been quite hard for him. When his sister was born he was so little he didn't really know what was going on but I suppose he's had to grow up quite fast and this time around his needs were getting left til last. I've started spending more one on one time with him and getting him involved in household tasks, and giving him lots of praise for being a big boy and he hasn't woken screaming since! He's had bad dreams in the night a couple of times but he just gets up and comes into us, which I'm fine with- it was just the roaring and waking the whole house that I had a problem with. Now all I have to worry about is the next one :rolleyes:

Ayla

Good, so glad it's helped!

Good luck with the upcoming arrival