Awkward moments with your parents...

Cunning Stunt

Bought my younger brother and sister a new computer game - one the advice of a friend (if you're reading this, I still havn't fogiven you!). Anyway the game was Southpark (I had never watched it at that time) and my younger brother and sister were 7 and 5.
Queue myself and my parents and my younger brother and sis in the sitting room. We stick on the game - first screen The Chef charactetr says ''choose your level -- foreplay / hot and heavy etc. etc.) Of course the kids choose ''hot and heavy'' and Chef says ''hey - going all the way huh?''.
Needless to say, the glances among the adults were priceless.
Next screen ''choose your category -- gay cowboys / lesbian romps etc.''
Holy jaysus I will never forget it.
After a talk with my mother, I ended up exchanging the game for ''Earthworm Jim'' :rolleyes:

meoklmrk91

When I was about fourteen I was in that car with my dad, I was a bit moody as it was that time of the month, he asked me why I was ''off form'' and if I needed painkillers. I could have died.

And when brokeback mountain came out my mother thought it was a western and wanted my father to take her. He didn't really answer her and walked away leaving me and my sister to explain to her what it was about so she wouldn't be thick with my dad. Then years later when she finally saw it on tv she proceeded to ask me about the sex scene by saying ''do they take turns or what'' o_o

Gloomtastic!

Guill wrote: »

Picture this:

Christmas dinner and everyone has had a few glasses of wine, there is a good athmosphere as we all sit down to eat.

Dad who has had a few more glasses of wine starts to trawl the depths of his usless information bank to educate us.

"You know in some parts of Canada they eat beaver for Christmas"

<light sniggers all round>

"Have any of ye eaten Beaver before?"

<Noise of people spulttering to hold in laughing>

"I'd say beaver tastes lovely"

The sister erupts into laughter, everyone else just about manages to hold it in.

"Guill, have you ever eaten Beaver?"

At this point i lost it and burst into one of those laughs that you actually can't breath during and. I look up and everyone is is at the same, which just makes me laugh harder and longer, dad continues though:

"What is wrong with ye?"
"All i asked was did ye eat Beaver before"
"Whats wrong with eating beaver?"
"I don't know what is wrong with ye"

He heads off to the kitchen to get more wine all the time mummbling about beaver.

When he left the laughter actaully got worse.


Good times.

That post took about 5 minutes to finish I was laughing so much. Brilliant story, brilliant!!

Rocket19

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

also, anyone else remember the sense of complete panic when you heard "lets talk about sex baby" come on the radio? oh the squirming

Ughh that reminds me.
When I was younger, my parents obviously thought it would be a good idea to teach me all about sex.
However, seemingly it wasn't in their nature to actually TALK about it, so their solution was to buy me this sex book; "Let's talk about sex" . This was a book aimed at kids btw, full of cartoon naked people having sex, sperm with smiling faces on and other disturbing things.

Anyway, I was only like ELEVEN when my Mum produced this, and I was absolutely morto. I waited until she went downstairs, and I promptly stuck it back in her room.
Went out to play, came home later, and it was UNDER MY PILLOW. I put it right back.
This cat and mouse game continued for a good while, until I couldn't stand it anymore, so I hid it at the back of the hot cuboard. At the time, I was genuinely distressed by this situation lol.

Azureus

Two that I can think of...

First was when I got my first period-woke up,freaked out cuz I was young and it had never been explained to me and ran downstairs. I was really close to my dad so when my mam asked me what was wrong I just stood there thinking I was sick or something and insisting that dad come talk to me. Poor thing took one look at my bed and legged it-and couldnt look at me for the day

Second was when I was about 17 having to explain to my mam how gay men had sex. Obviously nobody had propositioned her about the back door before (thank god!) so she hadnt a clue it could be ahem done that way! Very funny, but also mortifying when curiosuity got the better of her and she KEPT asking questions!

I asked my dad what a prostitute was >.<

cocoshovel

about 3am one night and my Dad was coming back from some night out to do with work or the golf club, I dunno what it was but anyway, he was pissed.

I awaken to the sound of my bedroom door open, me dad walking in, lifting the covers of my bed and crawling in hugging up beside me completely naked....

"Dad seriously, GET THE F**K OUT OF MY BED".
"Whaaa,, ohh yeaah..... right"
................
..............
"Now!" *push*

I know he didn't mean it but if felt extremely awkward. He probably didn't even remember doing it in the morning.

Kiera

cocoshovel wrote: »

about 3am one night and my Dad was coming back from some night out to do with work or the golf club, I dunno what it was but anyway, he was pissed.

I awaken to the sound of my bedroom door open, me dad walking in, lifting the covers of my bed and crawling in hugging up beside me completely naked....

"Dad seriously, GET THE F**K OUT OF MY BED".
"Whaaa,, ohh yeaah..... right"
................
..............
"Now!" *push*

I know he didn't mean it but if felt extremely awkward. He probably didn't even remember doing it in the morning.

Are you a girl?

cocoshovel

Kiera wrote: »

Are you a girl?

No.

saa

Currently 20;
16:
-Oh gosh I think I actually have an anxiety problem

-Just don't be so stressed so


14:
-Can I get a pack of razors?

-For what?


Thanks Da!


Bonus: living in my first flat
Da: Is your boyfriend living here?
-Noooo
Da: *points* then why are there boxers on the clothes horse

Whoops!

Kiera

cocoshovel wrote: »

No.

Would be a lot worse if you were.

wild_cat

saa wrote: »

Currently 20;
16:
-Oh gosh I think I actually have an anxiety problem

-Just don't be so stressed so
!

That made me laugh. Had the same problem myself... Mentioned it and the mother answered with "every one worries, you need to trust yourself".

Turned out I worried it right into a mental health issue. Thanks Ma!! :pac:

It makes me laugh now.



Did anyone else see that bit of graffiti on the Enniscorthy to New Ross road a few years back? It had lets play leap from wrote beside a very accurate and quite well drawn giant vagina in between a pair of frogs legs. It was on old Mill just outside Enniscorthy town?

Anyway driving along one day with my Mum and out of no where she says... "Lets play leap frog" and I look over and there she is staring at the mill. She had spotted the writing before the image and shut up fairly fast when she seen it. We couldn't have drove past it fast enough.

Joey the lips

When i was 10 or so i got tyson caught in my zip. Not to bad but the more i pulled the tighter it got. My dad arrived at the bathroom door and head me in agony. he got a razor and cut around the zip and freed it from the bottom.

Then there was the realisation that my mom and sister were looking on.

Not so bad.... a little embarresing

move forward years later sitting watching " theres something about mary " with the new girl when my sister turns around and says "jasus joe remember that happened to you. My da and ma burst out laughing and left the sitting room

Its not easy......

Monty Burnz

Elba101 wrote: »

Going to get your first bra with your mam was pretty embarrassing. It was a horrible beige one to.

You thought that was embarrassing? At least you were a girl...

tallaghtmick

Joey the lips wrote: »

When i was 10 or so i got tyson caught in my zip. Not to bad but the more i pulled the tighter it got. My dad arrived at the bathroom door and head me in agony. he got a razor and cut around the zip and freed it from the bottom.

Then there was the realisation that my mom and sister were looking on.

Not so bad.... a little embarresing

move forward years later sitting watching " theres something about mary " with the new girl when my sister turns around and says "jasus joe remember that happened to you. My da and ma burst out laughing and left the sitting room

Its not easy......

A slit right down the middle.......now I can see why you called yourself joey the lips;)

Monty Burnz

Solnskaya wrote: »

my mams very fond of her cat, loves them she does. Sadly, and more sadly at family get togethers involving brothers in law and suchlike, she insists, and is oblivious to the stifled hilarity, on calling the mangy ginger wheezebox "my pussy". The amount of willpower, not to mention the sheer danger, involved in stifling a laugh when she walks into the room carrying a saucer of milk and loudly asks whether "anybody has seen my pussy??".

I'm not joking, I've got the exact same situation, only - and this is weird on several levels - it's my Dad who is always banging on about his pussy.

Monty Burnz

Azureus wrote: »

Second was when I was about 17 having to explain to my mam how gay men had sex. Obviously nobody had propositioned her about the back door before (thank god!) so she hadnt a clue it could be ahem done that way! Very funny, but also mortifying when curiosuity got the better of her

...OMG OMG OMG...
*covers one eye and keeps reading*

Azureus wrote: »

and she KEPT asking questions!

That could have ended a lot worse :eek:

Temptamperu

Joey the lips wrote: »

When i was 10 or so i got tyson caught in my zip. Not to bad but the more i pulled the tighter it got. My dad arrived at the bathroom door and head me in agony. he got a razor and cut around the zip and freed it from the bottom.

Then there was the realisation that my mom and sister were looking on.

Not so bad.... a little embarresing

move forward years later sitting watching " theres something about mary " with the new girl when my sister turns around and says "jasus joe remember that happened to you. My da and ma burst out laughing and left the sitting room

Its not easy......

You call your cóck Tyson?

merengueca

Last summer sat in the garden with my Dad and brother having a cup of tea, bit of chit chat about the animals (cats, dogs, ducks etc) Dad was giving out a bit a Mum wanting more and told us she wanted a big red cock as well.
Nothing could be said we just all got up and walked off in different directions.:o


Also years ago sat talking about plans for the Christmas dinner with my Mum, sister and cousin - Dad was haging around the kitchen doing something else. Mum told that she wanted the table to look 'fancy' so she was going to put dildos on every place setting.... she meant doilies!
Dad had to run away (literally), I spat tea out across the place and there was definately a race for the toilet!

TheFullDuck

tallaghtmick wrote: »

So you two where ok with the giant mickey poking through the glory hole:eek:

The mood was lightened when he got stabbed through the ear from said glory hole :P

Blazer

BEASTERLY wrote: »

This is probably why im not home very often now.

It was a good few years back, the mother stated that dinner would be ready in 15 minutes. I thought ''grand, enough time for a sneaky pull so''. Went into my room, got some porn up on the PC, pants totally off, headphones in full blast! Finished off, cleaned up stood up to see my dinner on the table behind me to my right(obviosly was alot quicker than 15mins). I hadnt heard her enter because of the headphones:(

Everytime i think about it I actually want to cry...

dude...you always leave one ear open
you'll know next time as they say:cool:

sunflower27

Was home from college for holidays (this is back in the 90s) and was watching some show with Julian Clary on it. The inuendos were flying thick and fast and my mum was cracking up. The thing was I knew she didn't get them so was obviously reading her own interpretation into what he was saying. (Trust me, she really didn't know )

I kept waiting for her to ask me at any minute what he actually meant, but she never did. Quite sweet i suppose when I look back on it, but I was so embarrassed at the time.

Redonblonde

Not my parents but still awful

Years ago was visiting a boyfriend, hadn't seen each other for a while cus he lived miles away.

His dad was away with work, not due back til next day. His mum had just gone to the supermarket, and his younger brother was sick in bed, asleep.

With this in mind we lock his door and get down to business.

Approximately 5 minutes later his little brother (who was about 16/17 by the way, so should have known better) has recovered sufficiently to bang loudly on bedroom door and yell "Hey, why is the door locked? What are ye two doing in there? Dad is back and Granny is with him to call over!"

Never got dressed so fast, but the ex boyfriend has a face like a smacked arse when hes embarrassed...no way of hiding it.

Later on, at dinner with mammy, daddy, and the brother, his da suddenly asks us what we were both doing with the door locked.

OH the shame.

Then, not getting an answer, he asks again. The ex clears his plate into the bin, leaves the room. And me, just sitting there.

jimbobaloobob

hehe smooth redonblonde. and is that why he's the ex

Redonblonde

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

hehe smooth redonblonde. and is that why he's the ex

Just one of many

rannerap

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Bought my younger brother and sister a new computer game - one the advice of a friend (if you're reading this, I still havn't fogiven you!). Anyway the game was Southpark (I had never watched it at that time) and my younger brother and sister were 7 and 5.
Queue myself and my parents and my younger brother and sis in the sitting room. We stick on the game - first screen The Chef charactetr says ''choose your level -- foreplay / hot and heavy etc. etc.) Of course the kids choose ''hot and heavy'' and Chef says ''hey - going all the way huh?''.
Needless to say, the glances among the adults were priceless.
Next screen ''choose your category -- gay cowboys / lesbian romps etc.''
Holy jaysus I will never forget it.
After a talk with my mother, I ended up exchanging the game for ''Earthworm Jim'' :rolleyes:

ah Chefs love shack what a game!

SarahBeep!

Surprised this hasn't come up...

I was 16 and with the boyfriend, twas half five and the mother didn't finish work till six. Just as we were about to finish up the bitch walks into bedroom!! Hadn't she only started work early that day! I'll never forget the look on her face.


Then there was the time i was about 13 and it was Christmas Eve. Dad and i were picking up the last few bits in the supermarket.
Sure doesn't he pick up a box of condoms, not even discrete.
Flavoured condoms.
LIDL brand Flavoured condoms.

simonmln

My brother and I were going to the cinema to see the hangover!

Just about to leave and my mother says ''Oh, I hear its very good! You don't mind if I join right?' She didnt know the storyline.

Sitting in a cinema watching the hangover with my mother. Awkward car journey home.

Monty Burnz

simonmln wrote: »

My brother and I were going to the cinema to see the hangover!

Just about to leave and my mother says ''Oh, I hear its very good! You don't mind if I join right?' She didnt know the storyline.

Sitting in a cinema watching the hangover with my mother. Awkward car journey home.

There is that strange thing that occurs between the ages of about 12 and 20 where you find the role of saying that certain films etc. "aren't suitable for you" swaps from your folks to you.

DUBACC

Rocket19 wrote: »

One night, my parents were in the tv room watching some Die Hard film (which my younger sister had advised them to watch). Right before the DVD, my Dad had been watching Top Gear or something on one of those 'mens' channels'.

Ah Men & Motors, what a brilliant channel - wonder why it was ever cancelled!

DUBACC

Always remember my younger brother, when he was about 13 or so. Must have been around the time the fap switch activated in his brain. Anyway, mother arrives into the sitting room to ask 'emm did someone sneeze into the toilet bowl?' Idiot forgot to flush!

Cunning Stunt

Sarannewrap wrote: »

ah Chefs love shack what a game!

Oh God yeah I think that's the one
Particularly embarrassing was the level where there is a huge anal probe aimed at Cartman's butt. Every time the kids got a question wrong, it got closer and closer to probing him. I think that's the stage where I made a hasty exit from the sitting room, followed by my mother who wasn't letting me away that lightly!

That'll teach me not to read the small print before buying!

Nanaki

Never watch Wedding Crashers with your parents.

CrazyRabbit

Deleted User wrote: »

I asked my dad what a prostitute was >.<

So you never met your mother then?

I remember watching some film back on C4 many years ago with my mum. This was back when C4 showed very adult movies. I was about 11 at the time. I don't remember the full plot of the movie, but there was a woman pole dancing, and without warning she stripped naked and one of the guys starts using a rolled up dollar bill to, eh, stimulate the woman with it. It was a full closeup view too.

My mum just said 'Close your eyes". So I put my hands over my eyes, but secretly peeked.

Cunning Stunt

Nanaki wrote: »

Never watch Wedding Crashers with your parents.

I watched American Pie with my father
..never made as much tea in my life!

Sir Gallagher

This is the horniest thread ive read in a long time.

Monty Burnz

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

This is the horniest thread ive read in a long time.

Is that you, Mom?

Guill

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

This is the horniest thread ive read in a long time.

Is that you, Mom?

This is the last place i expected to find my wife and child.

bigpoppa

When a Christian Brother from our school called in to our house one evening to drop off an athlete from the UK (we were a host house as they were in Ireland on an athletic trip)

My mother fussed and made tea and we all sat round, my mum+dad, the UK athlete guy (about 16), me (about 12) and a 40 year old Christian Brother. We all ate biscuits and made small talk until there was a natural pause in the conversation

During this pause a woman being interviewed by Gay Byrne on TV (on the the background) about a book proclaimed loudly "my first memory is waking up with my fathers penis in my mouth"

The Christian Brother actually spit his tea and laughed.

We all nearly died.

Guill

When a Christian Brother from our school called in to our house one evening to drop off an athlete from the UK (we were a host house as they were in Ireland on an athletic trip)

My mother fussed and made tea and we all sat round, my mum+dad, the UK athlete guy (about 16), me (about 12) and a 40 year old Christian Brother. We all ate biscuits and made small talk until there was a natural pause in the conversation

During this pause a woman being interviewed by Gay Byrne on TV (on the the background) about a book proclaimed loudly "my first memory is waking up with my fathers penis in my mouth"

The Christian Brother actually spit his tea and laughed.

We all nearly died.

Is he one of your parents?

adocholiday

A few spring to mind but 2 in particular:

1. I was 15/16 and with my ex for a while at that point. One night me and my da were in the car and he says "so eh I hope you and nameless girl are being safe..." I was playing dumb oh we're not doing anything like that... then he says "if you need condoms I'll get them if you're embarrassed" I nearly died! Looking back on it now it was very cool of him but then it was awful.

2. Parents went out for beer so I'm home alone. Before bed I decide fook it I'll have a fap. Stick on one of the phone chat tv stations fapping like a maniac when I see my parents looking in the fookin sitting room window straight at me! Eye contact was made. Buttoned up faster than the Flash and when my ma came in she just said keep that activity in your bedroom! Cringe!

Noo

adocholiday wrote: »

2. Parents went out for beer so I'm home alone. Before bed I decide fook it I'll have a fap. Stick on one of the phone chat tv stations fapping like a maniac when I see my parents looking in the fookin sitting room window straight at me! Eye contact was made. Buttoned up faster than the Flash and when my ma came in she just said keep that activity in your bedroom! Cringe!

:eek: bahahah
Thats a few levels above "awkward".

Catari Jaguar

When I was 19 I came home for a visit and my Mam shows me a box from the morning after pill that she had found in my room. She asked was it mine because she had assumed it was one of my friends. I said yea it's mine. "Oh I didn't know you were in a relationship" Eh... I'm not.

Then she says that she'd prefer if I was in a loving relationship if I'm going to be having sex. Like her and my Dad. She didn't sleep with him until she was married (at like 31!) he was chatting up her friends all the time, but in the sack he is *wink and thumbs up* (thanks Mam) so hopefully I'll be in a loving relationship and not whoring around and that my sex life is always fantastic.

Many would be scarred for life but I dunno, I see my parents as human.

colly10

BEASTERLY wrote: »

Right, just because you heard it begore means its not true? Fair enough, belive what you like?

Same thing happened to another lad on this thread and everyone knows a mate of a mate it happened to. Good thread but there's no shortage of well known urban legends in it

Davyhal

Ah the good old "Virus / Pop Up" internet story! I know to this day that they never believed it!

My most embarrassing moment was the night of my 21st, all my mates from college were all down at my home house for it, so every single room in the house was full of people... Anyways, this friend of mine who I happened to be getting with at the time (later became my girlfriend) and I ended up kissing out the front of the house when we were out for a cigarette. Our thinking was we couldnt go inside cos every room was full, so whats the harm outside.... I come from a very Catholic, non-drinking family, so they were all in bed since about midnight and this was like 5 hours later. Completely forgot that my brother and his girlfriend were flying out to Spain early that morning and that my mam was driving them to the airport... It sure was embarrassing for everyone involved when the 3 walked out at 5am, me and the girl on the bonnett of my mam's car, her dress pulled up to her armpits, her knickers off and me undoing my jeans!!!! My parents never took to her after that!

robman60

When I was 10 or 11 I remember feeling really embarrassed when my dad used the word shift to mean move, I'd stare right at him every time...

Just yesterday I was farming with my mother. We were both looking at the cattle when suddenly one jumps on top of the other and starts thrusting at a ferocious pace. It was strangely awkward even when it's only animals lol.

Monty Burnz

robman60 wrote: »

suddenly one jumps on top of the other and starts thrusting at a ferocious pace.

So he didn't go down the usual cinema/dinner/flowers route?

pajero12

Ended up watching a womens 21st century guide to sex, or something like that, with my dad was on tv3 a couple months back!! Oh god i nearly died when they put the camera up yer wan

azezil

A couple of years ago, my mother abruptly blurted out "your father has never give me an orgasm. At least not in the way your sister describes them".

I would have hit her a smack but she was driving at the time. >_<

Rocket19

pajero12 wrote: »

Ended up watching a womens 21st century guide to sex, or something like that, with my dad was on tv3 a couple months back!! Oh god i nearly died when they put the camera up yer wan

To be fair,you wached a tv show called "A woman's guide to 21rst century sex" with your father.
Should you not have expected an embarassing moment or two? lol