stupidly innocent things you did as a kid

ilovesleep

I made a home made miniture clothes line for dolls clothes but thought it looked very dull and needed decoration so I chopped off pieces from a blanket and sellotaped them on to make a stripey line. My mom was not impressed and I received the wooden spoon badly that day.

Pompey Magnus

When travelling with my family through the North during the Troubles we were waiting in line at a British Army checkpoint. As the soldier finished at the car ahead and started walking towards our car I decided to start to sing "The Men Behind The Wire" which I had learned off by heart.

madmammy

pawrick wrote: »

I did similar around 5/6, got in to the shopping one day before it was put away, found dad's disposable razors and decided to have a dry shave - still have a scar on my face and vague memory of blood everywhere.

did this too, i remember we had relatives visiting and i walked out of the kitchen after trying to shave.....i remember being covered in plasters after that

i also swallowed a tube of anticeptic cream when i was 3 cue a trip to the hospital and having to drink jugs of water to flush it out

on the snail thing i had to pry a snail out of my youngest daughters mouth last summer it was still alive after been chewed but his shell was in bits

El Inho

i asked the parish priest was he jewish...he had a bald patch, and i thought that the jewish skull cap thingy would cover it

murrayp4

brummytom wrote: »

At a hotel in Majorca (I think, possibly Malta) when I was five.


"Mommy, look! They left chocolate on the bed. Ooh! White chocolate!"
"Tom, no! .. Oh God"


Yeah, it wasn't white chocolate, amazingly. I had suds coming out my mouth for hours

Jesus...I thought it was sh!t & spunk on the sheets...

AskMyChocolate

brummytom wrote: »

At a hotel in Majorca (I think, possibly Malta) when I was five.


"Mommy, look! They left chocolate on the bed. Ooh! White chocolate!"
"Tom, no! .. Oh God"


Yeah, it wasn't white chocolate, amazingly. I had suds coming out my mouth for hours

Am I an utterly sick innuendo-driven pervert, or, is this post not worthy of it's own thread?

Majorca :pac:

*Sniggers*

On thread, Jennifer Higgins.

AskMyChocolate

El Weirdo wrote: »

Kids are fucking stupid.

Yet, disturbingly, nay, may I say astute in their own way. And when it comes to amorality, I never met an adult who could give them a game.

AskMyChocolate

MrsD007 wrote: »

In the weeks running up to Christmas my mam used to store bottles of whiskey, brandy, chocolates and boxes of sweets at the bottom of her wardrobe.

My brother and I found a large box of Lemon's sweets (the ones with the picture of Santa on the box) and we opened the box from underneath. Every night we would steal a few sweets from the box but the box looked perfectly intact. When we had eaten more than half the contents of the box we decided we needed to do something to make up for the lost weight, so we gathered pea gravel from the garden and started wrapping up the stones and putting them into the box.

My mother gave away that box of sweets stones as a present, I often wondered who received it :pac: :pac: :pac:

LOL. Absolute quality story. Although if my memories of those Lemon's sweets are accurate, I'd say the gravel sweets may have been the most popular. And almost certainly the least detrimental dentally.

Do you remember the rum & butter ones in the blue and white wrapper?Dentist's dream.:pac:

Cunning Stunt

When I was a kid, I filled an empty 7UP bottle with washing up liquid and water. Didn't realise how bad a prank it was. My sister came in and downed a few gulps. I can still picture her face - bg red eyes from crying and bubbles coming out her mouth. I got a serious b*llocking from my mother for that one. My defence at the time was that I meant it for my brother..:rolleyes:

YouTookMyName

Jesus reading this would make you not want to ever have kids.

Frank Black

Myself and a friend found a cat who had just had a litter of kittens in one of the fields behind our house. We were only 7 or 8 I’d say. We took one of the kittens and kept it in my shed, never told anyone. A few days later we went off on a week’s holidays. I remember I left a bowl of milk and some sugar puffs on a plate for the kitten before we left.
Came back – obviously the kitten had died – probably a horrible death.
I still feel very guilty but I honestly didn’t do it out of malice.
Buried the kitten and never said anything to anyone about it.

PTO

I remember 2 things about my first trip to the Sugarloaf mountain. My delight to find that there was lots of Malteasers scattered on the ground everywhere up there and my parents disgust as I approached them with a mouth full of rabbit shít!!

deman

I used to grab a dessert spoon out of the kitchen, go out to the animal feed house in my dad's farm and start feeding myself on Golden Maverick calf milk powder. I remember being totally addicted to it.

CardBordWindow

When I was 7/8, I remember our teacher was on about nettle soup. The class were all saying 'But Miss, you can't eat nettles, you'll get stung!', but the teacher informed us that once they were cooked, they don't sting you.

The next weekend, off I go picking nettles, getting badly stung in the process. I throw the nettles into a pot of water and put it up on the cooker. I didn't know about the isolator switch at the time, so I left the pot up on a cold cooker for about 2 hours.
I tucked into my nettle soup which was basically just wet nettles, and stung the mouth off meself!

deman

MrsD007 wrote: »

In the weeks running up to Christmas my mam used to store bottles of whiskey, brandy, chocolates and boxes of sweets at the bottom of her wardrobe.

My brother and I found a large box of Lemon's sweets (the ones with the picture of Santa on the box) and we opened the box from underneath. Every night we would steal a few sweets from the box but the box looked perfectly intact. When we had eaten more than half the contents of the box we decided we needed to do something to make up for the lost weight, so we gathered pea gravel from the garden and started wrapping up the stones and putting them into the box.

My mother gave away that box of sweets stones as a present, I often wondered who received it :pac: :pac: :pac:

Thank you for making me lol in a public place. Now people are looking strangely at me.

Ms. Chanandler Bong

I devoured an entire jar of beetroot when I was about 3 or 4. Needless to say, it didn't agree with my insides & I had pinky-purple-y stuff coming out of both ends a short while later. My mother was convinced it was due to an ice-pop I had eaten & forbade me eat them ever again (since I quite obviously had some sort of allergy to them!:rolleyes:) I've never told her the truth...

sunflower27

In primary school I never knew what kids meant when the talked about skidmarks or skiddies. I was convinced I was the only kid that didn't understand it so I never asked anyone. One time when someone made a joke about someone leaving skiddies in the boy's bathroom, I made a point of sneaking in for a look

Well worth it :rolleyes::p

TonyStark

When I was about 4/5 I saw my dad shave with the razor... decided to copy him and slash my face with a few strokes of the razor... I remember their horrified look.. luckily no scars...

TangyZizzle

Remember those little cadet fizzy drinks? I tried to neck one of them one day as my granddad slept and it turned out to be some chemical my Mam was going to use to clean the drainpipes at home - not really my fault though was it?

Bit the top off an orange crayon in junior infants - didn't try that again.

Apparently I was a fiend for looking up nurses skirts while visiting my Gran in hospital - 3 yrs old at the time

Teyla Emmagan

I gave myself a tonsure before my own holy communion. My Mam had to give me a comb over and pin the veil to the front of my fringe to cover it.

I did it so I could pick the scab on my head better that I got from climbing through a hedge.

That was about 2 weeks after I'd cut off all my eyelashes.

It was just a phase, I'm over it now. Not sure if she is though.

Oh yeah, and I ended up in A&E having a horse shoe cut off my neck as well at one stage.

I was a stupid child.

Malari

When I was about 3 or 4 I used to eat coal. I'd sneak off down to the coal bunker behind the shed and chew away on a hunk of it.

Then I'd come back into the kitchen and my mom would ask "Malari...were you eating coal again?"

"No mom" I'd say, convinced I'd got away with it, although I looked like a minstrel with my entire face covered in coal dust...:rolleyes:

My mom blames her craving for burned toast while she was pregnant on this one.

Mr. Manager

I used to snap all my parents cigarettes and flush them down the toilet in the hopes they would quit smoking.

I then took up smoking some years later and did not see the funny side.

Naomi00

When I was about 3 I poured a whole box of Readybrek all over the couch and mixed it all in..

pancuronium

black francis wrote: »

Myself and a friend found a cat who had just had a litter of kittens in one of the fields behind our house. We were only 7 or 8 I’d say. We took one of the kittens and kept it in my shed, never told anyone. A few days later we went off on a week’s holidays. I remember I left a bowl of milk and some sugar puffs on a plate for the kitten before we left.
Came back – obviously the kitten had died – probably a horrible death.
I still feel very guilty but I honestly didn’t do it out of malice.
Buried the kitten and never said anything to anyone about it.

LOL have a similar story myself!! there was a cat out in out garden that I felt sorry for & decided to start to feed him! A few days later I noticed the shed door was open & decided to close it didn't go in there for mabe 2 weeks...........What a sight poor thing.............. SAD THING IS I'M IN MY 30's & THIS ONLY HAPPENED ABOUT 2 MONTHS AGO SHOULD HAVE SEEN MY WIFES FACE WE NEARLY HAD TO HAVE A MASS FOR THAT DAMB CAT LOL

antodeco

Karona wrote: »

Eeewwww, what did they taste like?:eek:

I'm going to take a wild guess here, a d assume snails?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

When I was about eight I was snooping through my dad's tobacco packet looking for the rolling papers because I liked to play with them (paper! and you can make it stick to stuff! I was easily amused). Found some "chocolate", thought to myself aha he thinks he can hide the chocolate from me, I'll show him. Tasted like ****e, nothing happened to me (apart from getting roared at) but I'd say I cost my dad a fair bit of money that day.

My sister also managed to get into a bottle of whiskey when she was about six. She said she thought it was apple juice, after one gulp thought "this is the worst apple juice in the world" but kept going for another couple of slugs on principle. She was found completely locked and throwing up under the Christmas tree as I remember.

My brother is the youngest and so got talked over a lot in family conversations, as a result he had a habit of talking really loudly all the time. He and I were in hospital after a car crash when he was seven or so, an Indian doctor was attending to us and poor wee culchie had never seen someone who looked like that up close before. Just as the doctor was leaving my brother turned to me and roared "THE STRANGE THING ABOUT INDIANS IS THEY'RE BLACK BUT THE PALMS OF THEIR HANDS ARE WHITE"

Paddy Samurai

When I was seven I played Fireman in the front garden,set fire to the hedge and pissed on it till it when out.
This worked the first couple of times.Unfortunately I ran out of urine and the hedge caught fire big time.Smoke billowing everywhere,neighbours with basins of water.
Real Firemen arrived and I got the sh!t scared out of me.The landlord was'nt too happy either.

Ps:If your going to play fireman,drink loads before hand.

x_Ellie_x

When I was 4, I decide to help my mam and wheel my sister's pram for her while she was talking to her friend. Mam didn't notice until I knocked the pram over on its side when I tried to wheel it over a curb on the footpath. My sister screamed for a little while but she was alright. My mam nearly ****in' killed me.

~~~~

When I was 10, Freddie Mercury had just died and my teacher was trying to explain AIDs to the class. She said something about scientists thinking that AID's first came from monkeys in Africa.

I was shocked and I said "So people got AID's from having sex with monkeys? The dirty bastards!"

All the girls were in bits laughing and the teacher was getting really red faced and flustered. "No Ellie!!! They most likely got it from killing and eating the monkeys as food."

Me: "Oh!"

A couple of girls in the class started crying hysterically when she said this because of the "poor monkeys". The teacher grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the class and down to the principal's office, phoned my mam, gave me lines, etc. That bitch hated me.

CrazyRabbit

Note to self : Lock all 'safety' razors away in safe when I get home.

eirn

Decided to spruce up my hair before my confirmation, cut a lump out of the front so I'd have a fringe. I have wavy hair, but once it was shorter, it just became a mass of curls, which I didn't care for, so I shaved it off, but I kept enough to give myself a comb-over.
I managed to get away with it too, until my mother forced me to go to the hair-dresser to get it styled for the big day. The hairdresser literally screamed once she saw the state of me, my mother just went red (half embarrassment/half anger) and I just kind of mumbled something like ' ah, it just fell out'

Shane-KornSpace

I was walking home from Nutgrove shopping centre with my ma when I was about 8.
I tried to run across the road through the gap in the traffic.
I got half way across and my ma called my name in terror. I looked to my right and there was a speeding ambulance coming right towards me.
But instead of running the whole way across the road, I ran back, just narrowly avoiding the ambulance.

Cherry Blossom Girl

pancuronium wrote: »

[

LOL have a similar story myself!! there was a cat out in out garden that I felt sorry for & decided to start to feed him! A few days later I noticed the shed door was open & decided to close it didn't go in there for mabe 2 weeks...........What a sight poor thing.............. SAD THING IS I'M IN MY 30's & THIS ONLY HAPPENED ABOUT 2 MONTHS AGO SHOULD HAVE SEEN MY WIFES FACE WE NEARLY HAD TO HAVE A MASS FOR THAT DAMB CAT LOL

Seriously? You're 30+ years old and You locked a random cat on your garden shed for two weeks? :eek:
Did you not hear it trying desperately to escape???

buswankers

Remember in the old cars back in the day the childlock switch was actually inside the car in between the driver & passenger seats rather than on the actual door of the car which couldnt be access unless the door was open - extremely dangerous when ya think about it.

Anyway, one day going heading out somewhere with my Mam, think I was about 5 & my sister was about 3 I decided it would be hilarious to play a trick on my sister...told her to try & open the car door - the switch was on at the time so she did & obviously the door didnt open. Then on the sly i flicked up the switch & told her to go again...que door opening & the little 3 year old falls out of the car. Talk about backfiring!! Thankfully we were literally at the end of our road in a quiet estate turning a corner at the time so the car was moving very slowly - but all i can remember is seeing my sister face down on all fours nappy in the air....i still have visions of that nappy!! I had my first encounter of many with the wooden spoon that day!
I still cringe when thinking about it today - what the hell was I thinking :eek: !

rainbowdrop

Pompey Magnus wrote: »

When travelling with my family through the North during the Troubles we were waiting in line at a British Army checkpoint. As the soldier finished at the car ahead and started walking towards our car I decided to start to sing "The Men Behind The Wire" which I had learned off by heart.

When I was at play-school in England (aged 3-4) we were asked to stand up, one by one, and sing a nursery rhyme. All the other kids were standing up singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' 'Humpty Dumpty' and 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' etc. I stood up and sang 'The Men Behind The Wire':o. Not good, as this play-school was run by the Church of England. In fairness, I heard it so often at home that I must have though it WAS a nursery rhyme!

Also asked the pakistani guy who owned the local shop why his hands were so dirty "Does your Mammy not give you a bath? Is that why your hands are so black? My Mammy ALWAYS gives me a bath"

Kids, eh?:rolleyes:

TouchingVirus

When I was about 5 or 6 and alone in the sitting room I used to take off my clothes, climb the book case and dive onto the couch pretending I was an Olympic Diver. I never closed the curtains either

LenaClaire

When I was about 8 or 9 my best friend and I decided that we should make perfume from the frangipani flowers in her front garden.

We figured that all you needed was some boiling hot water to get the smell out and then let it sit for a while, so we used the sink in her back bathroom and ran off to play while the perfume "cooked".

When we got back her mom nearly killed us as there was this rank smelling, foul looking mass of blackened flowers and nasty water in her bathroom and it took a good week for the smell to go away.

ringadingding

I used to climb trees and jump out of them using a carrier bag as a 'parachute', my shins still ache 25 years later.

We once collected about ( and no lie) about 200 frogs from the duck pond from the next estate, and put them all in a paddling poolin the garden, obviously they escaped and there was a street meeting about getting rid of the pest that had inhabited it, we never told Anyone it was us.

I was always a terror for scraping up chewing gum n eating it, I shudder now

smurfy89

When I was 3 I decided to give myself a haircut with the hedge clippers left out in the front garden :eek:
Somehow I managed not to injure myself, but ended up with a stump for a fringe when I started primary school a couple of weeks later

deman

buswankers wrote: »

Remember in the old cars back in the day the childlock switch was actually inside the car in between the driver & passenger seats rather than on the actual door of the car which couldnt be access unless the door was open - extremely dangerous when ya think about it.

Anyway, one day going heading out somewhere with my Mam, think I was about 5 & my sister was about 3 I decided it would be hilarious to play a trick on my sister...told her to try & open the car door - the switch was on at the time so she did & obviously the door didnt open. Then on the sly i flicked up the switch & told her to go again...que door opening & the little 3 year old falls out of the car. Talk about backfiring!! Thankfully we were literally at the end of our road in a quiet estate turning a corner at the time so the car was moving very slowly - but all i can remember is seeing my sister face down on all fours nappy in the air....i still have visions of that nappy!! I had my first encounter of many with the wooden spoon that day!
I still cringe when thinking about it today - what the hell was I thinking :eek: !

Three years old and wearing a nappy?

madmammy

my brother had a pet caterpiller when he was about 9 one of those fluffy looking ones...he had to go somewhere and asked myself and my sister who were about 4 and 5 at the time to mind it
when he came back there wasn't much hair left on the thing, my little sister pulled them out she thought he got all the fluff on it walking on the ground and wanted to clean it
he nearly kilt us

x_Ellie_x

When I was about 8, I was in my aunt's playing with my cousin who was the same age as me. His brother David was 2. My aunt was giving out to us to let David play with us. We didn't want to play with him because he was too young. We turned the playpen upside down and trapped David inside it and went back to playing the game we were playing. My aunt came back into the room and saw David trapped but we lied to her and told her we were playing cops & robbers and David was the robber and he was in prison. She fell for it and went back into the kitchen. I think the poor child spend all day trapped underneath the playpen. We were really mean to poor David growing up. I feel guilty about it now.

merengueca

I used to love the taste of soil - I had spoon hidden in the garden so I could tuck in when no one was looking

Also loved stroking fur coats (it was the early 80's, these things were still around) any random old lady with a fur coat and I'd be doing all I could to rub my sticky hands across her hidiously expensive carcass.. My poor Dad wasn't often left in charge of us, for some reason he was left with me, my sister and my cousin at Mass - being the niave soul that he is when it comes to child care he was oblivious as to what was going on until a really snooty old English lady gave out shi1t3 to him as I'd just got a strawberry chewitt stuck on her fur coat after spending most of mass rubbing my cheek against her shoulders!

sardonic

Wanted to save money on petrol for Dad so as a precocious 6 year old I topped up petrol tank with water.

Malari

merengueca wrote: »

I used to love the taste of soil - I had spoon hidden in the garden so I could tuck in when no one was looking

Also loved stroking fur coats (it was the early 80's, these things were still around) any random old lady with a fur coat and I'd be doing all I could to rub my sticky hands across her hidiously expensive carcass.. My poor Dad wasn't often left in charge of us, for some reason he was left with me, my sister and my cousin at Mass - being the niave soul that he is when it comes to child care he was oblivious as to what was going on until a really snooty old English lady gave out shi1t3 to him as I'd just got a strawberry chewitt stuck on her fur coat after spending most of mass rubbing my cheek against her shoulders!

Jebus. Someone needed to get you a pet! (assuming you didn't want to skin it and use it as a coat...)

livinsane

When I was 7 or 8 (3rd or 4th class), I brought Page 3 into school. Picture on that day was blonde twins! I can see it as clear as day in my mind. But I wasn't sneaky enough and showed it to my friends IN THE CLASSROOM and obviously enough was caught by the teacher and given a b0llicking.

Weirdest thing is, I was a 7 or 8 year old GIRL. Nothing s€xual about the whole thing, I just had never seen anything like it before. Mortifying seeing that teacher about the place. What was I thinking.

Ms. Chanandler Bong

When I was 8, my 14 year old neighbour informed my friend & I (very snottily) that lipstick should be put on with a lip brush. We asked her what one looked like & she duly informed us. We couldn't find one so I 'borrowed' my brother's Tippex bottle & took the brush. In fairness, we did wash it (sorta) first.
I can still see her Mam's face when she came into the room & saw us using a Tippex brush to put her lipstick on ourselves...

Bipolar Joe

YouTookMyName wrote: »

Jesus reading this would make you not want to ever have kids.

This thread makes me wants kids just so I can have someone to blame for all the stupid sh!te I will no doubt do when I convince someone to marry me. "The kid cut my hair fringe, honest!"

I can't remember the age, but I'd just figured out how to tie knots, and tie knots I did in just about everything that I could. I waned to make my own climbing frame so used my Mum's expensive wool to make one, out in the back garden. The result was a huge, colourful, tangled mess of wool and a severe slapping. I also tied a piece of wool from the bathroom radiator to the handle thing of the bath. When my Sister tripped over it, I was told to take it off, and managed to get the radiator end untied, but not the bath end. Instead of doing the smart thing and getting scissors, I tied the wool around my waist and tried to pull it off by running. I ended up crying on the floor unable to breathe properly from the wool digging into my. I also tied my Sister to her bed with a kite.

Ms. Chanandler Bong

My neighbours' boys were evil personified.:pac:The estate we lived on was undergoing "expansion" in the early 90s (from 4 houses to 8;)) and one of the soon-to-be-residents was a huge bitch. She complained about these trees growing on the estate & that they would block her view. The council cut them down so naturally we (the kids of the area) were a little p!ssed.
The boys came up with a plan. They waited until the Easter holidays and spent the Friday evening collecting frogs & frogspawn from a nearby stream. The builders had put the doors in & left the handles off but nearly every kid had one of the bars that goes through the handle in the door:cool:
She came back to the house after the holidays to find the kitchen/living area overrun with frogs!!!
They were the most evil boys ever born, practically the Omen's worse siblings...

Chinasea

"done an or"

Hellrazer

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

We use to swipe Hilti type bullets from a slaughterhouse up the road from our national school and set them off by dropping a cast iron shore drain on top of them.

I remember spending all Summer one year doing this and then another lad tried to better us so decided to try it with a shotgun cartridge that he robbed from his dad and ended up with 100`s of pellets in his leg.
Never forget how much we laughed at that one.

Personally I think the most stupid thing I ever did was play chasing on the roofs of flats where we used to live when I was 7/8...dont know how any of us didnt end up dead.