Have you ever shat yourself in public?

HornyDevil

. . . whether it's the fart you struggled to keep in - knowing it was a wet un waiting to do some damage . . . or a sudden bout of food poisoning . . . or too much to drink and you never knew what hit you (or the floor)


I once crapped myself from laughing hysterically at a practical joke.


. . . what's the most embarrassing way it happened to you?

amacca

another ****ty thread

another terrible thanks whore reply

fcuk it...why bother anymore?

py2006

Jaysus!

Guill

amacca wrote: »

another ****ty thread

another terrible thanks whore reply

fcuk it...why bother anymore?

Thread killer kills thread.

pappyodaniel

yes

amacca

Guill wrote: »

Thread killer kills thread.

meh!

Chuck Stone

I used to crap my self continuosly.



I was a wee baby then though.

Guill

amacca wrote: »

meh!

Without remorse too...

dirtypanties

no.

iPlop

dirtypanties wrote: »

no.

Username says otherwise

W.Shakes-Beer

awaits Flutt

AnonoBoy

I'll take a dump in your fishtank.

TouchingVirus

No, but I heard about a guy who did. Was in the Millmount pub a while ago and some old guy dropped the most liquid, putrid shíte on the tiles leading up to the bathrooms. It emptied the pub out and some poor lad had to try to mop it up. Eugh, the thoughts of it

amacca

Guill wrote: »

Without remorse too...

a ha ha ha ha aha aaaahhhh haaaaa!!!!!!:eek:

iPlop

I used to hang around with a guy who was always taking a dump, we could be walking down the road and want to have a dump behind a wall or a car, I think it was some kind of fetish or something.

Son Of A Vidic

HornyDevil wrote: »

I once crapped myself from laughing hysterically at a practical joke.

I would suggest a colonoscopy to get to the bottom of it.

iPlop

TouchingVirus wrote: »

No, but I heard about a guy who did. Was in the Millmount pub a while ago and some old guy dropped the most liquid, putrid shíte on the tiles leading up to the bathrooms. It emptied the pub out and some poor lad had to try to mop it up. Eugh, the thoughts of it

I saw something like that a few years ago, an auld fella lifted his arse on the stool at the bar to fart and a whole load of guinness poo juice ran off the side of the stool, the smell was awful.

AnamGlas

I may have followed through on a fart

stovelid

amacca wrote: »

another ****ty thread

another terrible thanks whore reply

fcuk it...why bother anymore?

To garner thanks under the guise of lambasting thanks whores?

amacca

stovelid wrote: »

To garner thanks under the guise of lambasting thanks whores?

thanks whoring is a complex continuously evolving area my friend

cosmicfart

My dog constantly shats herself in public I keep telling her "Darling, its how u look that matters, here have a treat"

FlutterinBantam

Was heading to Croker for a Galway game a few years ago, showery day so I had the golf wet gear on.

Had a long walk to the stadium and I knew I had a 'live unstable round 'baking in the chamber.

Thought I could 'tough it out' and make the ****ters in the Hogan,but just on final approach she 'crowned' and exploded in me jocks like a fcuking dropped trifle.Total fcuking carnage!!!

Fcuking waft going through the stiles was wodious, I could see the fcuker taking the tickets pulling back his head:eek:

Anyway the Flutt was quick thinking, abandoned the caked strides and jocks in the shitters and just used the golf pull-ups which were not contaminated.

felt sorry for the dude who had to 'bag' the load in the jacks, not a pretty sight, full evacuation and loose.

Very traumatic.

Live4Ever

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Was heading to Croker for a Galway game a few years ago, showery day so I had the golf wet gear on.

Had a long walk to the stadium and I knew I had a 'live unstable round 'baking in the chamber.

Thought I could 'tough it out' and make the ****ters in the Hogan,but just on final approach she 'crowned' and exploded in me jocks like a fcuking dropped trifle.Total fcuking carnage!!!

Fcuking waft going through the stiles was wodious, I could see the fcuker taking the tickets pulling back his head:eek:

Anyway the Flutt was quick thinking, abandoned the caked strides and jocks in the shitters and just used the golf pull-ups which were not contaminated.

felt sorry for the dude who had to 'bag' the load in the jacks, not a pretty sight, full evacuation and loose.

Very traumatic.

Funniest post I've ever read!! :D:D

MajorMax

Does Sharting count?

HornyDevil

The curry one's are the worst

Reamer Fanny

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Was heading to Croker for a Galway game a few years ago, showery day so I had the golf wet gear on.

Had a long walk to the stadium and I knew I had a 'live unstable round 'baking in the chamber.

Thought I could 'tough it out' and make the ****ters in the Hogan,but just on final approach she 'crowned' and exploded in me jocks like a fcuking dropped trifle.Total fcuking carnage!!!

Fcuking waft going through the stiles was wodious, I could see the fcuker taking the tickets pulling back his head:eek:

Anyway the Flutt was quick thinking, abandoned the caked strides and jocks in the shitters and just used the golf pull-ups which were not contaminated.

felt sorry for the dude who had to 'bag' the load in the jacks, not a pretty sight, full evacuation and loose.

Very traumatic.

Your a sick sick man

TouchingVirus

justryan wrote: »

Your a sick sick man

Didn't expect anything less from the Flutt

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Sink The Banana wrote: »

I saw something like that a few years ago, an auld fella lifted his arse on the stool at the bar to fart and a whole load of guinness poo juice ran off the side of the stool, the smell was awful.

I saw something the exact same. The bar owner was nearly crying, he got the stool and fired it into the town river

HornyDevil

Emmy Polite Gearshift wrote: »

I saw something the exact same. The bar owner was nearly crying, he got the stool and fired it into the town river

Presumably with the guy still on it

epgc3fyqirnbsx

HornyDevil wrote: »

Presumably with the guy still on it

That woulda been a sight

mathie

stovelid wrote: »

To garner thanks under the guise of lambasting thanks whores?

You have to watch out for meta-thanks-whoreing

sink

One time I had to go for CT scan in hospital. They make you fast for 12 hours before and then make you drink a litre of this aniseed tasting shit and inject you with radio active dye, no biggie.

Anyway after the scan was done I was starving. I decided to stop at a Micky D on the way home and pick up a big mac. While I was standing in the queue I felt I fart coming on so I let it out gently, a few second later I felt this warmness running down my leg. I ran to the bathroom and found my entire kaks swimming in faeces. The boxers were beyond saving so I disposed of them in the sanitary towel bin (it was a unisex disabled jacks), and cleaned up my jeans as best I could but there was still a clearly visible brown stain on them. I made a run for my car and got the hell out of there. Lesson learned never go anywhere for a good few hours after having a CT scan.

spurious

When we were kids, an uncle of my father's considered it great gas altogether to jam all five of us kids into a Hillman Imp close the doors and let an unmerciful rasper, gassing us all.

One time he raised himself as usual to give the fanfare, but instead did a massive shart and had to run inside. The stench was horrific and we all ran from the car, at the same time laughing at his brown streaked trousers hurrying into the house.

He never did the fart trick again, mind you.

As for myself, I had a food poisoning 'event' on a Bus Éireann coach, which I am trying to forget. Even the thought of it now, years later, can bring me out in a sweat.

HornyDevil

sink wrote: »

One time I had to go for CT scan in hospital. They make you fast for 12 hours before and then make you drink a litre of this aniseed tasting shit and inject you with radio active dye, no biggie.

Anyway after the scan was done I was starving. I decided to stop at a Micky D on the way home and pick up a big mac. While I was standing in the queue I felt I fart coming on so I let it out gently, a few second later I felt this warmness running down my leg. I ran to the bathroom and found my entire kaks swimming in faeces. The boxers were beyond saving so I disposed of them in the sanitary towel bin (it was a unisex disabled jacks), and cleaned up my jeans as best I could but there was still a clearly visible brown stain on them. I made a run for my car and got the hell out of there. Lesson learned never go anywhere for a good few hours after having a CT scan.

:D:D:D:D

stephen_k

sink wrote: »

One time I had to go for CT scan in hospital. They make you fast for 12 hours before and then make you drink a litre of this aniseed tasting shit and inject you with radio active dye, no biggie.

Anyway after the scan was done I was starving. I decided to stop at a Micky D on the way home and pick up a big mac. While I was standing in the queue I felt I fart coming on so I let it out gently, a few second later I felt this warmness running down my leg. I ran to the bathroom and found my entire kaks swimming in faeces. The boxers were beyond saving so I disposed of them in the sanitary towel bin (it was a unisex disabled jacks), and cleaned up my jeans as best I could but there was still a clearly visible brown stain on them. I made a run for my car and got the hell out of there. Lesson learned never go anywhere for a good few hours after having a CT scan.

Or don't ever eat anything from McDonalds!!

sink

stephen_k wrote: »

Or don't ever eat anything from McDonalds!!

I didn't even get that far, I was still in the queue waiting to order.

iPlop

sink wrote: »

I didn't even get that far, I was still in the queue waiting to order.

That happened to me but I was back home when it did, barium meal is what the stuff is called and it's very heavy so it goes straight through your guts really fast.

Dan133269

I fcuking love After Hours!

PseudoFamous

dirtypanties wrote: »

no.

b-b-b-b-but your username...

vampire of kilmainham

what a sh1t thread have you nothing better to do but sit and think of such crap it stinks

Heathen

I was standing at the urinal in the temple bar music center a few years back at the vibe for Phil Lynott and the bang of crap in the jax was unreal... everyone in the queue was looking around in disgust for the culprit when some lad opened the door of the cubicle and announced "holy sh1t, someone cacked themself and left their jox in here" low and behold there was a pair of jeans on the ground in there completely covered in the brown!!

What was worrying... how the hell did that chap get home from town in the middle of the night in his jocky y-fronts?? haha

iPlop

Heathen wrote: »

I was standing at the urinal in the temple bar music center a few years back at the vibe for Phil Lynott and the bang of crap in the jax was unreal... everyone in the queue was looking around in disgust for the culprit when some lad opened the door of the cubicle and announced "holy sh1t, someone cacked themself and left their jox in here" low and behold there was a pair of jeans on the ground in there completely covered in the brown!!

What was worrying... how the hell did that chap get home from town in the middle of the night in his jocky y-fronts?? haha

Saw something similar in the temple theatre about 15 years ago.I went to the cubicle and opened the door to find some guy with his jocks around his ankles and he was covered in shít, his shirt, face, legs and toilet were all covered in shít.He was lying on the ground mad off his face sucking his lips in and out like a fish.


I remember the bouncers saying "here's another one, too many pills, look at him ,he hasn't a clue"

They turfed him out to the ambulance outside.

Gummy Panda

Reminds me of a party when I was a teenager. One of my friend's parents are away so he decides to have a party. He (lets call him Steve) invites all the usual lads and girls over. One of the lads was going out with this girl from another area and she brought a load of her mates over.

Later on in the night one of her male friends goes in to use the toilet. He is in there for ages. Steve is outside waiting to use the toilet. The lad from the other area comes out and there is a woeful smell of him. Steve goes in to find the lad had shít all over the bath, got sick all over the toilet and floor. To make matters worse, he drew a smiley face in the shít.

Well that was a red flag to a bull and it took three of us to pull Steve off him. The guy left with his friends and we noticed he was wearing his jeans back to front :pac:

krustydoyle

Bit of a funny story so here goes...

Got onto the bus in waterford heading for carlow... had a few pints and a bit of grub beforehand so i was just gonna sleep on the way home..
so just outside of the city my stomach starts to cramp and im getting the sweats.. sweet jesus i was in a terrible state... fart after fart... i dunno how i didnt explode.. so an hour or so later i arrived in carlow... sprinted to abra and didnt leave the jacks for a good 20 mins...

Finally got the energy to get off the toilet in abra and headed to tescos to grab a few bits.. bout 5 mins after leaving tescos i get cramps again.. oh god.... there was no holding this in.. i had to run up a back alley and drop me jocks.. but in all the rush i couldnt hold it anymore and you can probably guess the rest.... and theres no shame wiping with a handful of leaves...

Moral of the story is to always use the jacks before you take a long bus journey... :o:o:o:o:D

Feeona

Sink The Banana wrote: »

Saw something similar in the temple theatre about 15 years ago.I went to the cubicle and opened the door to find some guy with his jocks around his ankles and he was covered in shít, his shirt, face, legs and toilet were all covered in shít.He was lying on the ground mad off his face sucking his lips in and out like a fish.


I remember the bouncers saying "here's another one, too many pills, look at him ,he hasn't a clue"

They turfed him out to the ambulance outside.

Paramedics do not get enough money for the job they do :eek:

Feeona

Emmy Polite Gearshift wrote: »

The bar owner was nearly crying, he got the stool and fired it into the town river

This is one of those times when the richness of the English language causes confusion

Monty Burnz

Feeona wrote: »

This is one of those times when the richness of the English language causes confusion

...if a plethora of terms for sh!t can indeed be considered true wealth...

Witchie

Not yet but think there is a good possibility that if I leave the house today that it will be a different story. Have a colonoscopy tomoro and am drinking 4 liters of Klean Prep.

I feel ill. :mad:

Captain Darling

I heard about this guy in work who plays a lot of rugby. He's a really big fellow, does a lot of weights, eats like a horse. He was going into hospital to get some form of reconstruction surgery on a damaged ankle and was supposed to be fasting the night before the operation.

Obviously, he knew better then the Doctors and went for a massive curry the night before. He sh1t the bed in the Operating Room when he was under and made a total muck of the whole place.

I've always thought the fasting was to stop you puking. It must not have been too pleasant for the doctors to be literally operating under scuttery curry conditions.

Toots

Witchie wrote: »

Not yet but think there is a good possibility that if I leave the house today that it will be a different story. Have a colonoscopy tomoro and am drinking 4 liters of Klean Prep.

I feel ill. :mad:

If I were you I'd be moving the TV into the bathroom and camping out on the jax for the day.

I've never shat myself in public (aside from in nappies as an infant) but legend has it that you poop yourself while giving birth so I could be back on this thread in a few weeks with a different answer

Toby Take a Bow

Witchie wrote: »

Not yet but think there is a good possibility that if I leave the house today that it will be a different story. Have a colonoscopy tomoro and am drinking 4 liters of Klean Prep.

I feel ill. :mad:

Don't leave your house, whatever you do!