Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

11 yr old tantrums

Options
  • 10-08-2011 10:26pm
    #1
    Redpunto
    Registered Users Posts: 2,024 ✭✭✭


    Just wondering how other parents handle
    Tantrums in older children, should I ignore and let him storm and shout around the house, should I discipline for the behaviour or just walk away? Any advice would be great


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Find out the cause. Punishment won't fix the issue, nor will ignoring him.
    Something is eating away at him and causing the outbursts.
    This behaviour normally occurs for a child his age when they are facing an issue that they are not emotionally capable of dealing with.

    You'll need to stay calm with him, and coax him into talking about it...preferably when he's in a better mood.


  • Options
    #3
    magrat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭magrat


    A lot of the issue with them at this age can be put down to hormones ! Its not always the problem.

    I would not totally ignore it - I would try and keep calm and quiet while its going on - not give in to any demands made. Then when he is calm again tackle the why it happened.

    I would indeed discipline it. When they step out of line, you do need to tackle the issue. I wouldn't totally agree with the statement 'Punishment won't fix the issue'... sometimes even bigger children need to face the consequences of their actions.


  • Options
    #4
    BostonB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,056 ✭✭✭✭BostonB


    Sometimes its something else like too much time on the computer. We notice an improvement of mood when computer time was limited. Maybe there's something similar with this dude.


  • Options
    #5
    CIARAN_BOYLE
    Registered Users Posts: 14,599 ✭✭✭✭CIARAN_BOYLE


    BostonB wrote: »
    Sometimes its something else like too much time on the computer. We notice an improvement of mood when computer time was limited. Maybe there's something similar with this dude.
    To much time on computer not enough exercise excess energy, very common. A friend of mine brings his son out for ten laps around a nearby football pitch every evening and it did wonders for his sons attitude and behaviour.


  • Options
    #6
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    Find out the cause. Punishment won't fix the issue, nor will ignoring him.
    Something is eating away at him and causing the outbursts.
    This behaviour normally occurs for a child his age when they are facing an issue that they are not emotionally capable of dealing with.

    You'll need to stay calm with him, and coax him into talking about it...preferably when he's in a better mood.
    Spot on talk to him because it sounds like something is bothering him !


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    nicowa
    Registered Users Posts: 700 ✭✭✭nicowa


    I was dealing with tantrums in an 8yr old in April and again for the last month or so (stepson here on holidays) and I've come to the conclusion that it's partly due to an inability to communicate what he wants or what's wrong. Or just as much, that he wouldn't be understood in the "what's wrong" department.

    So while I wouldn't give into tantrum demands and punishment would come into it, I'd talk it out first. If nothing comes out the first time, send him to his room or that kind of a thing but each time try suous out if there's something deeper wrong first.

    Has he had a falling out with a friend, is he worried about going back to school? Has he been able to see his friends since the holidays? - more of an issue if ye live in the country...

    Whatever you do, don't resort to a screaming/shouting match with him. It will only lose you the high ground and set a bad example.


Advertisement