Your most satisfying revenge story?

Bloody Nipples

simon-king wrote: »

While working for (as a teenager) a well known fast food restaurant .. I was badly ripped off in my wages .. so I poured about 30 litres of bbq sauce into the drop safe before quitting

Did they give you a reference?

Monty Burnz

barakus wrote: »

jesus.. dont fcuk with Paddy

How high is your head off the ground when you are sitting on the jacks? 4 and a half feet?

How tall is this Paddy character?

3ndahalfof6

Monty Burnz wrote: »

How high is your head off the ground when you are sitting on the jacks? 4 and a half feet?

How tall is this Paddy character?

his head was not in the bowl

michael999999

Monty Burnz wrote: »

How high is your head off the ground when you are sitting on the jacks? 4 and a half feet?

How tall is this Paddy character?

He was slouched forward!

O.A.P

flutterflye wrote: »

My dad is a (insert any random bad word here).
He feeds off putting others down, he relishes in it.
He used to really get to me.
He'd use all the things he knew about me to try and break me, and he usually would.
It took alot of work, but a few years ago I learned how to put up a wall and no longer let anything he said/did affect me in any way.
I'd just say things like "ok you're entitled to your opinion" in a very non emotive tone.
It killed him!
He has tried so hard to break me over the past few years and I love seeing how worked up he gets trying every sad trick to get to me and how desperate he gets when he realises that he no longer has that power!

SEE WHAT YOUR LIKE, HAPPY NOW, PROUD ARE YA?

mattjack

:eek:

O.A.P wrote: »

SEE WHAT YOUR LIKE, HAPPY NOW, PROUD ARE YA?

jebus

flutterflye

O.A.P wrote: »

SEE WHAT YOUR LIKE, HAPPY NOW, PROUD ARE YA?

Fukc off dad! :rolleyes:

Redonblonde

Never did it but thought it would be nasty to cook a cat/ dog food dinner for someone, or worse, when you pumice your feet, and the skin comes off it does resemble finely grated Parmesan...could be a nice addition to a pasta dish for someone who deserves it.

Prawns dropped into the hem of curtains too is supposedly a slow burner.

Millicent

Redonblonde wrote: »

Never did it but thought it would be nasty to cook a cat/ dog food dinner for someone, or worse, when you pumice your feet, and the skin comes off it does resemble finely grated Parmesan...could be a nice addition to a pasta dish for someone who deserves it.

Prawns dropped into the hem of curtains too is supposedly a slow burner.

I gotta say, you scare me a little...

johnny_cash

I really have some cracked friends It's a good few years ago my friend was playing senior hurling and had a huge rivalry with another team in the county.The friend met the sister of one of the lads off the other team and went back to her house.He got up the next morning and took a cràp into a mug and left in back into the press behind all the other mugs and left the house.

irelandspurs

Filled a jam donut at work with decorators caulk and gave to a polish lad that was wrecking everyones head,ate half of it before he realised. He wasn't a happy chappy.

yogimotorsport

When i was in Secondary school we always used have a substitute maths teacher whilst our maths teacher was on sick leave,she used always mock me and tell me i was going nowhere in life,i wasnt disruptive im just genuinely
crap at maths,quit school in 4th year - move on few years later met her in a shop one night took great pleasure in informing her that i was a Aftersales manager in a garage and she informed me that she couldnt find a school in the area that could give her a teaching position. not really revenge but it sure as hell made my day
Karmas a bitch

Indubitable

ColeTrain wrote: »

11 calories of naughtiness.

that ad will never be the same again

MajorMax

cgordonfreeman wrote: »

I think an upper decker is where you poo in the cistern and not in the bowl.

Bullseye!

SpatialPlanning

If you ever stole a drink in Coppers, and drank something warmer than vodka and red bull, you've just been served.

listermint

SpatialPlanning wrote: »

If you ever stole a drink in Coppers, and drank something warmer than vodka and red bull, you've just been served.

Isnt it that the same people that do the stealing, are the same people that do the pissing....

joseph brand

When I was about 11 years old, my Dad pissed me off, I can't remember how. So while I had a shower that day, I found his razor and started shaving the windowsill (wood painted white). The razor was crammed full of white flakes of paint. Then I was passing the coat hangers in the hall and had a brainwave.
I wen to the fridge, got the tub of butter, and a desert spoon and started dumping spoonfuls of butter into his pockets.

Next day he left for work with cuts on his face and buttery hands. I'm not really proud of it, but he tells people this story and laughs his head off.

Another one but this is a bit filthy.

A supervisor I used to have used to single me out at every chance.He undermined me and was on my back every day. My work mates used to comment on how much he must have hated me. This was in a company that has a cleanroom and workers wears face hoods. You know the type that only your eyes are visible.
So, one day I went to where he kept his hood and belt, swiped his hood (while he was out on break), and put it down my pants around my sweaty balls. I then went onto the work floor and worked for about 15 mins before returning the hood. No doubt there was a smell of gooch off his face. Thing is, I did this 3 times, over a couple of weeks.


One more, story I heard.
Fried of mine said he was working on a site and the foreman was a real bast*rd. So, one day when they were having lunch in a steel container (canteen) this guy spotted the foreman's smoking pipe. He reached up to take it from the top shelf, pulled down the a** of his pants and 'dipped' it in his chocolate brown tea towel holder.
He said it was nearly impossible to not laugh as the foreman sucked on his lovely pipe.

Frank Black

Why does the concept of revenge for most people revolve around sticking things up your arse, sh;tting in something other than a toilet bowl or doing something disgusting to someone's food?

My flatmate once ate my rashers after coming home pissed one evening so I nailed his hurley to the celing of our flat - it took him ages to find it and he ended up being late for training.

joseph brand

I don't know if this story is about revenge or Karma.

I was working in a DIY store (big one) in Liffey Valley about 10 years ago. There was this little shammer there. He was talking to me one day telling me how he worked in another place, where he was the tea boy and when he got the sandwiches he used to spit in them sometimes. No reason, just did.

Well anyway, few days later on a Saturday morning, I go into work and he's not in. Turns out he got mugged at the bus stop on his way home the previous working day. Found it hard to have any sympathy for this excuse for a human. I thought it was funny but didn't want to laugh in front of anyone, it's not the done thing.

UglyBolloxFace

aujopimur wrote: »

A few years ago while I was on holiday in Ibiza a guy in a fast food stall in San Antonia short changed me, my protest went unanswered.
So I sat outside a nearby bar and had a few drinks while watching his routine, when the opportunity arose I calmly walked passed his stall and sprayed alll his food with my wifes perfume and returmed to my seat.
The reaction of his customer as they stuffed their faces with his new flavoured takeaway food gave me a great bit of entertainment and revenge

Hold on..what did his paying customers do to deserve that? What you did was scumbaggery of the highest order.

ColeTrain

My dad knew a guy who had a grudge against someone for whatever reason. Anyway, the guy passed away and yer man never had the chance to get his revenge. So at the funeral home after sympathising with the family, he went up to the coffin and slipped a mobile phone into the dead mans jacket pocket. The next day at the funeral mass he started to ring it. Some much for letting the dead rest in peace.

Pompey Magnus

black francis wrote: »

Why does the concept of revenge for most people revolve around sticking things up your arse, sh;tting in something other than a toilet bowl or doing something disgusting to someone's food?

Because there are plenty of scumbags out with without the slightest hint of wit or ingenuity and so can think of nothing better. Luckily for them lots of their friends are equally thick and so find it hilarious and think their mate to have a wickedly sharp wit the equal of Churchill or Twain.

SpatialPlanning

listermint wrote: »

Isnt it that the same people that do the stealing, are the same people that do the pissing....

You tell me.

Koltashe

Not exactly revenge but this happened a good few times in my life..

I was going out with this guy for over a year and he ended up breaking up with me which hurt enough as it did but few days later I find out he was cheating on me all along with a number of girls I was just crushed! Few years later we meet on an occasion he starts begging me to give him another chance, gives me an hour long speech about how I was d best girl he's ever been with and how stupid he was. I wasn't interested in the slightest but it felt so satisfying having him beg me lol

Similar scenario years later with a different guy, I loved him to bits and not only did he break up with me he went back a few times saying 'ah sure lets give it another go' just to wake up the next morning and leave saying i'll see you around, a lot of tears and pain for me... Anyways later he meets a girl and is happily living with her, then all of a sudden he starts calling me and txting me trying to meet up. eventually we meet up and he gives me the 'you were the greatest love of my life' speech and please take me back, offers to go up to his and his girlfriends place right there and then to get his stuff so he can move in with me!

Needless to say I declined both of their offers and simply couldn't care less, but having the two men who hurt me so bad beg at the end felt exceptionally satisfying!!!

Monty Burnz

All the guys' revenge stories seem to involve sticking something in their asses, and all the girls' ones seem to involve not going out with someone a second time.

The hurley on the ceiling has been the only whiff of originality in this rather sad thread.

Frank Black

Monty Burnz wrote: »

The hurley on the ceiling has been the only whiff of originality in this rather sad thread.

Why thank you.

In fairness to the guy who's hurley I nailed to the celing he re-revenged me a couple of weeks later by making a poncho out of a nice rug my mother had given me for my bedroom. Arranged to meet me in the pub wearing said same rug.

Those crazy college days.

Uberbeamerman

Three (clean) revenge stories.
General rule in college with housemates and the like is that the later they keep me up the earlier I will wake them (the blues brothers soundtrack being the soundtrack of choice)
One fairly bad shindig went on until 4 in the morning. Everyone left but on the way out kicked in a roommates door. I went in to the deserted and thrashed kitchen and just took batteries out of mobile phones and put the batteries into a pint of whatever the hell they were drinking.

I work with one of the most ignorant people on the planet. He expects you to help when he wants and he presumes you will so its a case of "Lift that and move it over there". There is no account of "You'd never do me a huge favour" or the like. One day after he was particularly obnoxious to me, he needed help lifting a fairly heavy and cumbersome object, and I happened to be passing by on the way to my lunch. "lift this with me" he says, "Bill I haven't got time, I'm really busy at the moment" I say to him. I proceed to sit on a fence opposite and watch him try and lift the object and screw his back up. He lifts up the object, screws his back up, leaves out a roar of pain and I just walked off.

The last one concerns the idiots in school that go around bullying everyone. The ones who think they're the hard men and act all tough. I found that reading the local papers, that the same "hard men" would be up in court for no insurance or pleading guilty to obstructing gardai etc. Don't even have to come into contact with them to get the warm fuzzy feeling of revenge.

r3nu4l

Monty Burnz wrote: »

All the guys' revenge stories seem to involve sticking something in their asses, and all the girls' ones seem to involve not going out with someone a second time.

The hurley on the ceiling has been the only whiff of originality in this rather sad thread.

Lol. Eight posts in this thread and not one of them is one of your own revenge stories. Instead you're just giving out about everyone else... Put up or shut up imo

Years ago when I was working in a shoe store during the summer break I had a customer who had already treated two of the other staff like sh1t before making her way to me. She tried on about six pairs of size 38 shoes before finally deciding on a pair that she liked. All that time she was rude and abrasive. She kept telling me how she had come to Dublin from Kerry that day to shop for these shoes but that she might as well have stayed at home because she'd have bought better shoes "in the Kingdom".

So being as helpful as possible I asked her if she would like to get me a fresh 'never-tried on' pair of those shoes from the stockroom. She told me to be quick about it. So as soon as I went to the stockroom I took one brown man's shoe and a red high heel shoe and stuck them in the box before making the sale.

She never checked them. Next day she called the shop and went mental giving out about how she ended up with random shoes

Funkfield

One time I went out with this camogie player. She was quite rude and expected me to pay for everything. Needless to say I stuck her hurley up my arse and didn't go out with her a second time.

Sooopie

black francis wrote: »

Why does the concept of revenge for most people revolve around sticking things up your arse, sh;tting in something other than a toilet bowl or doing something disgusting to someone's food?

My flatmate once ate my rashers after coming home pissed one evening so I nailed his hurley to the celing of our flat - it took him ages to find it and he ended up being late for training.

I am also shocked at the amount of people who have stuck things up their butts to get revenge on someone

Its disturbing