Your most satisfying revenge story?

Monty Burnz

r3nu4l wrote: »

Lol. Eight posts in this thread and not one of them is one of your own revenge stories. Instead you're just giving out about everyone else... Put up or shut up imo

I'm the commentariat. Like these guys:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpYEJx7PkWE

Sooopie

ColeTrain wrote: »

My dad knew a guy who had a grudge against someone for whatever reason. Anyway, the guy passed away and yer man never had the chance to get his revenge. So at the funeral home after sympathising with the family, he went up to the coffin and slipped a mobile phone into the dead mans jacket pocket. The next day at the funeral mass he started to ring it. Some much for letting the dead rest in peace.

Your dad sounds like a twat

Maglight

When I was a student I painted stop and grow on my flatmates toothbrush for a joke. Oh how we laughed. Two days later I'm up early, half asleep and in the middle of brushing my teeth when I realise she's scraped out the top of the toothpaste tube and replaced it with Savlon cream.

Rule number one. Never play practical jokes on people who always get revenge.

ColeTrain

Sooopie wrote: »

Your dad sounds like a twat

you didn't read it properly. It wasn't my Dad who did it.

Sooopie

ColeTrain wrote: »

you didn't read it properly. It wasn't my Dad who did it.

my bad!

paulieeye

havent done this but want to try it:

If ur at someones house, run the hot taps in the bath at least a 1/5 full (more the better tho) and throw in a load jelly things so they melt in. Leave to set (this is the tricky bit but do it late enuf into a party and might get away wit it). Eh viola..bath-of-jelly..served cold obv.

Icyseanfitz

my friends had this guy renting with them who was a right arsehole so the took his big bottle of head and shoulders emptied it and filled it with cheapo hand cream 4 weeks later they decide to tell your man who was wondering why his hair was so itchy , had me in stiches haha

Ice87

I had moved in with two friends the guts of a year ago and to be honest hell would've been a nicer place to live for a number of reasons.

One of the guys was an out and out stingey prick who would never buy anything for the house and I would consistently walk in to the sitting room and catch him eating my food or stealing my cans/drinks. He even came into my room before and stole my last protein bar. Yes I had to keep food in my room as for this guy did not give a **** on any given day. Clothes you name it, no problem taking anything. Didn't buy toilet roll once for the house either. I wanted to kick his head in but you can't do that to friends can you?

One day I decided to be a bit flamboyant and buy some pink grapefruit juice. When I returned from the shop I had one glass of it and put it back in the fridge. Later on in the week I go to pour another glass and find that a lot of it had vanished somehow??

So I picked up the carton and blasted it with piss but not as much as he would become suspicious. Told my other housemate not to touch it. Next day I find that the volume of piss/grapefruit juice had greatly diminished.

Revenge..best served with piss

Frank Black

From reading through this thread, one comes to the conclusion that most people's diets consist of a large amount of sh;t and piss which they are unknowingly consuming having unwittingly pissed someone off.

Fozzydog3

Ice87 wrote: »

I had moved in with two friends the guts of a year ago and to be honest hell would've been a nicer place to live for a number of reasons.

One of the guys was an out and out stingey prick who would never buy anything for the house and I would consistently walk in to the sitting room and catch him eating my food or stealing my cans/drinks. He even came into my room before and stole my last protein bar. Yes I had to keep food in my room as for this guy did not give a **** on any given day. Clothes you name it, no problem taking anything. Didn't buy toilet roll once for the house either. I wanted to kick his head in but you can't do that to friends can you?

One day I decided to be a bit flamboyant and buy some pink grapefruit juice. When I returned from the shop I had one glass of it and put it back in the fridge. Later on in the week I go to pour another glass and find that a lot of it had vanished somehow??

So I picked up the carton and blasted it with piss but not as much as he would become suspicious. Told my other housemate not to touch it. Next day I find that the volume of piss/grapefruit juice had greatly diminished.

Revenge..best served with piss

Is his name Bear Grylls by any chance ?

Seachmall

Last year I was living with a couple of mates and nearing the end of the year I noticed my food tasting "odd". I copped it when I saw one of the lads smirking in the reflection of the TV; he was shoving my food up his arse.

Needless to say that night I crept into his bedroom as he slept and shoved his tongue up my arse. Watching him chug mouthwash the next morning made my week. Since then I've enjoyed shoving many things up my arse to avenge any wrongdoings I undeservedly suffered.

Frank Black

As the old saying goes - 'Revenge is a dish best served at arse temperature to the person who wronged you'

XxMCRxBabyxX

Must say. I am quite disappointed in the revenge stories here.
They all seem to be related to nasty bodily functions.

Then again mine isn't much better:

I had these roomates in 1st year who made my life an absolute misery. they ahted me the whole year through and I never understood why. They stole my food and then accused me of stealing their food and I have never seen so much mould in a place!

Anyway for my birthday on the last night of college I was nice enough to hold my party in a friend's place upstairs as the girls had an exam and an interview the next day. However my roomate (who didn't like them either but wasn't treated anywhere near as badly) came up with the plan to bring everyone downstairs for a few mins just to make as much noise as possible. While I was quite wary of this and thought it might be a bit of a bad idea I still went along with it. I still wanted my revenge!

So we did it! And apparently some of the lads stole their waffles that had been in the oven and everything!

It was a bad idea... They spent the rest of the night sending me abusive text messages about how no one likes me and about how sad and pathetic they had always thought I was. Delightful stuff...

Anyway I came home to find that they had drank two cartons of cranberry juice on me. Luckily I still had one left half filled with vodka, so I topped it up a little more and left it for them to enjoy before their interviews and exam. I have no idea if it worked but it was my little victory.

And they totally deserved that disruption. Especially after the abuse that I got.

And I know that it was a **** story but its not much better than most of the ones on this thread! :P

Fozzydog3

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Must say. I am quite disappointed in the revenge stories here.
They all seem to be related to nasty bodily functions.

Then again mine isn't much better:

I had these roomates in 1st year who made my life an absolute misery. they ahted me the whole year through and I never understood why. They stole my food and then accused me of stealing their food and I have never seen so much mould in a place!

Anyway for my birthday on the last night of college I was nice enough to hold my party in a friend's place upstairs as the girls had an exam and an interview the next day. However my roomate (who didn't like them either but wasn't treated anywhere near as badly) came up with the plan to bring everyone downstairs for a few mins just to make as much noise as possible. While I was quite wary of this and thought it might be a bit of a bad idea I still went along with it. I still wanted my revenge!

So we did it! And apparently some of the lads stole their waffles that had been in the oven and everything!

It was a bad idea... They spent the rest of the night sending me abusive text messages about how no one likes me and about how sad and pathetic they had always thought I was. Delightful stuff...

Anyway I came home to find that they had drank two cartons of cranberry juice on me. Luckily I still had one left half filled with vodka, so I topped it up a little more and left it for them to enjoy before their interviews and exam. I have no idea if it worked but it was my little victory.

And they totally deserved that disruption. Especially after the abuse that I got.

And I know that it was a **** story but its not much better than most of the ones on this thread! :P

They hated you so you gave them free drink ? ooh dont mess with this one

XxMCRxBabyxX

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

They hated you so you gave them free drink ? ooh dont mess with this one

I gave them cranberry juice laced with vodka before an exam.

lastlaugh

A few years ago, me Ma split up from me Da for some refugee fella from Africa.

He was pretty abusive to her, especially with drink on him. Inanyways, one night, him, me Ma and me two madzer sisters were on a bender in me Ma's gaff.

Next of all he starts slaggin off me Ma and comin on to one of me sisters!

It didn't end well for him let me tell ye!

Icyseanfitz

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I gave them cranberry juice laced with vodka before an exam.

to be honest with my experience of college or any exams id prefer to be drunk doing em

ColeTrain

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

So we did it! And apparently some of the lads stole their waffles that had been in the oven and everything!

You should stop hanging around with them gangsters, you're gonna get yourself in trouble!

carwash106

Funkfield wrote: »

One time I went out with this camogie player. She was quite rude and expected me to pay for everything. Needless to say I stuck her hurley up my arse and didn't go out with her a second time.

:D:D
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm literally red in the face from laughing at that in work trying to keep my laughter quiet.

Hazys

My sweetest moment of revenge came by neutering an aggressive, a$$hole bouncer in front of a bunch of girls.

Theres this bar we go to a good bit, its a messy college bar and always have good banter in there and we get on generally really well with the bar staff and know them on a first name basis.

Its basically a bar on the first floor and a dancefloor upstairs. Usually when its busy they make you queue to get upstairs. While in queue i starting striking up this conversation with this girl and bit of bantering, flirting all good fun. She then gets waived up to the front by the bouncer (new guy) controlling the line, so fair enough, if i was the girl and the bouncer let me skip i'd be all for it. So she's chatting away with the bouncer and he then lets her upstairs.

Anyway i eventually make my way to the top of the line. So the bouncer lets a bunch of people go upstairs and as i'm walking past he stretches his arm out and goes "thats it". It was kinda insulting and condescending to just stop me and let the rest of my friends upstairs. I went ok, no need to cause a huss, i'll be up next anyways.

So i'm at the top of the queue, the bouncer starts letting a group of girls skip me, thinking he's the man. Again no big deal i'll be next up. Again lets another group of girls skip me. After the second group he askes me "Hey man, do you mind if i let these girls skip you?", my response is "seriously man wtf?". He then turns to the bunch of girls and goes "Hey girls, this guy is being an a$$hole and he doesnt want me to let ye guys go up!!". So he lets them skip me with the girls giving me looks.

I then ask him "whats going on? are you going to let me up?". He gets right in my face and aggressively starts going "Step behind the line man!!". He's right in my face and i look down, i'm behind the line and i calmly say "i am behind the line", he's still in my face talking sh1t. I have said nothing to him and am now ignoring him. Another bouncer i know comes over to calm your man down and tells me to head upstairs.

Anyway hour or so later i'm upstairs and i notice the a$$hole bouncer is now bouncing upstairs and i see he is chatting to the girl i was chatting with in the line before all the hassle. So i go up to the girl, interupting the bouncer's conversation and ask her to dance.

So i take her to the dance floor about 5ft from the bouncer and i start mauling the face off her right in front of him....delighted! The face on him was epic, like a little puppy who has his bone taken away from him.

I was back in the bar 2 weeks later and i saw him again he was walking past and we made eye contact, he put his head down and walked past. Its so satisfying to put a bully in his place. He doesnt work there anymore and i'm not suprised because he was the only prick working there.

me-skywalker

aujopimur wrote: »

A few years ago while I was on holiday in Ibiza a guy in a fast food stall in San Antonia short changed me, my protest went unanswered.
So I sat outside a nearby bar and had a few drinks while watching his routine, when the opportunity arose I calmly walked passed his stall and sprayed alll his food with my wifes perfume and returmed to my seat.
The reaction of his customer as they stuffed their faces with his new flavoured takeaway food gave me a great bit of entertainment and revenge

So you got your revenge on the customers? You really didn't think that through now did you.

tayto lover

Monty Burnz wrote: »

All the guys' revenge stories seem to involve sticking something in their asses, and all the girls' ones seem to involve not going out with someone a second time.

The hurley on the ceiling has been the only whiff of originality in this rather sad thread.

Do they all have to be commented on by you ?
I enjoyed reading them all.
Maybe you would post yours so we can all comment on it. I didn't think we had a resident judge on here.

Teyla Emmagan

My friend's da used to rent out caravans - really crappy little ones, like the one Ted and Dougal went on holidays in.

Anyway, one of the caravans disappeared one night from the field he stored them in. About six months later he's driving through Newcastle (Co Dublin) and he sees the caravan parked at the side of the road. He pulls over, checks that it's his, reverses the jeep up to it and off he goes. With the life posessions of two tinkers in the back.

Funny, but kinda awful at the same time...

xoxyx

When I was a kid, I had this cool Teddy bear with buttons on his tummy that you could press and each button gave a different sound. My cousin (who was about 9 years' older than me) decided to press all the buttons at once, over and over again, until he broke my Teddy.

So, I told my granny that he was an atheist. I certainly didn't know what that meant (and I doubt he truly did either, as he couldn't have been more than 16), but I had been in the room when he was talking to his friends about it, and he told me that I was dead if I mentioned it to anybody, so I knew it must have been something bad.

Feel bad about it now though 'cause he's the nicest person in the world.

Just goes to show though - don't fuck with a little girl's Teddy bear!!!

ToddyDoody

My most funny little revenge was in secondary school. There was this guy who is sound out but could be a bit cruel, throwing stones at people and throwing punches from time to time. One day in the corridor someone near me shouted a bit of abuse at him. I was standing behind a swingy fire door watching him as he was on his way down the corridor to give the guy a few slaps. With everyone looking, i put my foot behind the fire door. he was expecting to burst through it because he went slap bang into it so hard that he was holding his head in his arms for a fair while, Long enough for me to stop laughing and mix in with the crowd. He tried to find out who did it and someone said it was me but, and here's where i'd now feel guilt, he didnt believe i'd do that.

Sooopie

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I gave them cranberry juice laced with vodka before an exam.

:eek::eek::eek:

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

XxMCRxBabyxX

Sooopie wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I never said it was pure evil....

Sooopie

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I never said it was pure evil....

I'd have only been impressed, frankly, if you'd shoved said carton up your arse beforehand.

XxMCRxBabyxX

Sooopie wrote: »

I'd have only been impressed, frankly, if you'd shoved said carton up your arse beforehand.

I have noticed a trend in this thread

brownlad

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I have noticed a trend in this thread

that all posts are written in black? :?