Your most satisfying revenge story?

steddyeddy

brownlad wrote: »

that all posts are written in black? :?

With a name like brown lad you must have a story about sticking things up your backside :P

Monty Burnz

tayto lover wrote: »

Do they all have to be commented on by you ?
I enjoyed reading them all.
Maybe you would post yours so we can all comment on it. I didn't think we had a resident judge on here.

You appreciate the irony of you making observations about me making observations?

brownlad

steddyeddy wrote: »

With a name like brown lad you must have a story about sticking things up your backside :P

no im just black

Monty Burnz

brownlad wrote: »

no im just black

Make up your mind pal.

3ndahalfof6

revenge happening even as they post, impressive

celj

I was in a shop once buying a loaf of soda bread and the owner was really really bold to me(not saying please or ta ta).
I got very unhappy about it and told him he was a poo poo head and smelled.
I got my own back though!
I paid for the bread and as I was walking out I told him I was going home to stick the soda bread up my anus!!
Took about 4 hours but it was worth it just to get my own back.
Still smile today when I think about it!(it happened yesterday).

weefarmer

Few years back I put in a new oil boiler and new cylinder in a holiday home beside me, it was an akward job and then when I gave him the bill the f**ker wouldnt pay me more than half, and expected me to come back and fit a bath for him the next week!
I had to go home otherwise id have ripped his head off, so I waited until they went away and went to the house and sprayed expanding foam into all his waste pipes and blicked them solid, if he'd have given me the €360 that I asked for, he would have saved a lot!
I met him a few month after in local hardware shop and he came up to me like we were best friends, with his hand out to shake, I told him if he ever spoke to me again id leave him in hospital and thankfully he has avoided me since that day!
I probably took it too seriously but what annoyed me mostly is that it actually cost me money to do the job, some of my wages done it for him >:(

Paddy Cow

I live on the fourth floor of an apartment complex that overlooks the courtyard. At night the sound really echo's up and every now and then some drunk feckers will decide to stay outside TALKING REALLY LOUDLY like drunk people do. This one night I had been listening to three lads talking for well over an hour and there was no sign of them going.

I leaned out the window and asked them to go inside and they told to to fcuk off and continued talking. So I filled up a big bucket of cold water and poured it down on top of them, completly soaking one of them who promply called me a stupid fcuking bitch (fair enough) but the other two were cracking up laughing. They had to go inside though cause it was a bit cold and with the water he would've been freezing.

After reading this thread I realise I seriously messed up and should have wee'd in the bucket first. Rookie mistake :P

D1stant

michael999999 wrote: »

Ended up at at a house party one night after a nightclub, never met the people that owned the house before, they were friends of the person i was there with.

Anyway one guy there was particularly drunk well call him john and kept chancing some guys girlfriend. After telling this guy to f**k off five or six times, the woman got pissed off and said she was going home and left. Cue the boyfriend paddy losing the head and we had to drag him into the hallway to calm him down and stop him pummeling the geezer.

Anyway ten minutes later paddy said he needs to go for a piss and heads to the toilet. we all return to the kitchen and ask where the drunken plague John is gone, only to be told hes in the toilet with the last ten minutes.

Seems John had gone to the jacks and fallen asleep on the bowl, cue paddy coming in and finding him and deciding to s**t on hes head!

Oh man. Thats the funniest thing I've heard in ages. Respect

Paddy Cow

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Funny thing about the stealing the bikes back stories is generally that you're probably not actually stealing the bike back off the person who stole it initially. They usually sell them on after stealing them.

The bit I don't understand is how they managed to steal them back. Doesn't everyone lock their bikes?

Dave147

Monty Burnz wrote: »

Was she a lesbian?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, that my friend was a quality post! Rare occasion I laugh out loud from reading something here. Thanks!

Frank Black

Paddy Cow wrote: »

After reading this thread I realise I seriously messed up and should have wee'd in the bucket first. Rookie mistake :P

To truely fit in with the ethos of the thread you should have stuck the bucket up your arse, wee'd in the bucket and then somehow fooled them into drinking it.

Still, you'll know better next time.

celj

Paddy Cow wrote: »

The bit I don't understand is how they managed to steal them back. Doesn't everyone lock their bikes?

Not thieves apparently.

Uncle Mclovin

Time to change this threads name to Weirdest Thing You've Shoved Up Your Arse.

Sea Sharp

One time I gave someone a dish served cold.

Profiler

Sea Sharp wrote: »

One time I gave someone a dish served cold.

mmmmmmm gazpacho

theneed2rock

dunno why but a friend felt the need to **** on a girl's bed after a night out because she wouldn't give him a blow job...he showed her whose boss!

Frank Black

theneed2rock wrote: »

dunno why but a friend felt the need to **** on a girl's bed after a night out because she wouldn't give him a blow job...he showed her whose boss!

celj

Profiler wrote: »

mmmmmmm gazpacho

Served this before at work and all the Irish sent it back and asked for it to be heated.:rolleyes:

discus

Heard this on an army base last week.

The lads of an engineering unit had been pranking each other for weeks on a base in south england, and it was getting quite nasty and viscious. The final act before the ceasefire was called was when one of the lads was due to take over on a guard post from his mortal enemy.

The guy who was due to go off duty took the binoculars kept in the sanger, and wanked into one of the rubber eye pieces... filled it to the brim with man gravy... Then left them upright along the window. A few minutes after the swap over, a call (made up one, of course) calls for the sentry to check out a certain direction, as movement has been seen on the cameras....

...So the sentry who just arrived on duty runs to the window, and puts the binoculars to his eyes.... BLURGGGGHH!!

mattjack

celj wrote: »

Served this before at work and all the Irish sent it back and asked for it to be heated.:rolleyes:

maybe because cold soup tastes ****e..

Sooopie

theneed2rock wrote: »

dunno why but a friend felt the need to **** on a girl's bed after a night out because she wouldn't give him a blow job...he showed her whose boss!

Your friend is a sick scumbag.

celj

mattjack wrote: »

maybe because cold soup tastes ****e..

Not if it's made correctly.;)

Capt'n Midnight

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

When I want revenge on people, I just make them cold dinner.

cold turkey perchance ?

skregs

Buying barrels of propane this week. Any ****er that gets his mortgage written off will come back to find his house burnt to the ground.

So its a kind of future revenge story

plein de force

unfortunately i've never had a good story like this but i remember one my uncle told me about my cousin.
My cousin fresh out of college had just started in some accountancy firm and the office bitch started picking on her, being new and not wanting to rock the boat she kind of took it even though she's the type of person who normally wouldn't. Like weeks of snide remarks, the bitchy one trying to get her into trouble and shredding reports she'd just typed up once saying " oh you shouldn't leave stuff in the print room so long, let it be a lesson"

so one friday evening, my cousin, the bitchy one and a few others were working late and the cow that had been bullying her was getting to the end of some project she was working(on her own as she was some head guys favourite and he wanted it perfect) on and asks my cousin could she send the files to her to make sure they save because her ancient computer was acting the bollox or whatever. my cousin saw an opportunity. so she said "fine send them along" deleted everything in them(all these calculations and coresspondence). the bully said shes going to the shops and puts her computer on locked, comes back and sees all the stuff hadn't saved and other stuff was gone off her computer even all the stuff she worked on during the week that had previously saved, as i said the computer was in bits. so she looks all relieved and says to my cousin "thank god i sent the files to you, could you send them back to me and il get hard copies to make sure they're there, so my cousin obliges and sent the newly blank files back.
my cousin shuts down her computer, walks by the bitch and says "enjoy your weekend" which she now had to spend at work redoing all the work. the cow knew she couldnt go to the boss as she would be faced with all the stuff that my cousin never reported and had witnesses to. she never got bother ever again

Jess16

Firstly, feeling vengeful and being vengeful are two very different things. One is a normal, human response whereas the other is to demean yourself by mimicking somebody else's bad behaviour.

The very fact that somebody has hurt you enough to incite your revenge should be taken as a warning sign for no further association. Your time, thoughts and energies are better spent elsewhere -cut them out and move on, your life will be the better for it

Amigomenor

Years ago in Club Sarah there was a regular occurance of pints being robbed. A friend of mine decided he had enough of this and took his Guiness into the toilet to make a deposit.
About 5 minutes later he heard the smashing of glass on the floor. Just imagine you would never drink Guiness again.

Big Nasty

Amigomenor wrote: »

Years ago in Club Sarah there was a regular occurance of pints being robbed. A friend of mine decided he had enough of this and took his Guiness into the toilet to make a deposit.
About 5 minutes later he heard the smashing of glass on the floor. Just imagine you would never drink Guiness again.

No nightclub serves good Guinness for starters so it was sh1t to begin with.

Secondly, Club Sarah was an absolue sh1thole so not only was your friend drinking sh1t, he was in the sh1t!

Amigomenor

MCMLXXV wrote: »

No nightclub serves good Guinness for starters so it was sh1t to begin with.

Secondly, Club Sarah was an absolue sh1thole so not only was your friend drinking sh1t, he was in the sh1t!

This was 18 years ago and I agree with you. Pre Celtic Tiger you would be amazed how easy we were to please!