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The friend zone!

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Comments

  • #52
    Handsome Bob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,905 ✭✭✭✭Handsome Bob


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    I must be getting things completely twisted around, because wtf.

    I don't think anyone has said that.

    I myself have plenty of female acquaintances in "real life" and from people I've met on boards. Thinking of each one of them, I can't say I've any ulterior motives towards any of them. They're just friends, that's it.


  • #53
    py2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,844 ✭✭✭py2006


    I can recall countless times in my past were I befriended a girl that I really liked or got to really like! Because I was too much of a wuss to do anything about it slipped into a comfortable friends zone were she would only see my as a friend!

    There is no mystery about a 'friend zone' situation, it happens often!


  • #54
    Raze_them_all
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    tbh i don't get the whole friend zone, I've hooked up with the vast majority of my female friends, just cos you have sex doesn't mean ye still can't be friends. You get thrown in the "friendzone" when a girl isn't attracted to you and guys do the same


  • #55
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    It's an ego-massaging excuse, IMO.

    It seems to me that what happens is people might have an initial attraction, but then after they get to know each other a little more, one decides they're not interested. The person rejected then might perceive that they've been 'friend-zoned', when really the other person was just never that attracted to them to begin with. It's certainly not just something men are relegated to.

    If someone doesn't fancy you that much, you get 'friend-zoned', that's it. Nothing to do with not seizing the moment or getting friendly without making your attraction to the other person obvious. Doing so might result in a date or two before they realized you weren't for them, but the bottom line is there just was never all that much attraction there to begin with.

    This.

    All this sh1te about being friend-zoned... guys will use any excuse as to why they couldn't get the girl :rolleyes:


  • #56
    Logical Fallacy
    Registered Users Posts: 5,933 ✭✭✭Logical Fallacy


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    This.

    All this sh1te about being friend-zoned... guys will use any excuse as to why they couldn't get the girl :rolleyes:

    I have to agree. It's a lot easier to think you didn't move quick enough that to think the object of your affections just doesn't find you attractive.


  • #57
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    py2006 wrote: »
    I can recall countless times in my past were I befriended a girl that I really liked or got to really like! Because I was too much of a wuss to do anything about it slipped into a comfortable friends zone were she would only see my as a friend!

    There is no mystery about a 'friend zone' situation, it happens often!

    If somebody really liked you, becoming friends with you would not rule you out as a potential partner. Countless couples describe being friends first. It's just a line people use, a cliché that is nicer to say than saying "I don't like you in that way".
    Handsome Bob wrote: »
    I don't think anyone has said that.

    I myself have plenty of female acquaintances in "real life" and from people I've met on boards. Thinking of each one of them, I can't say I've any ulterior motives towards any of them. They're just friends, that's it.

    I think you missed the point, he was pointing out the weirdness of what was being suggested.


  • #58
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    parker kent wrote: »
    I think you missed the point, he was pointing out the weirdness of what was being suggested.

    If that 'he' means me, then it should be 'she'. If not then please pardon my narcissism.


  • #59
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    If that 'he' means me, then it should be 'she'. If not then please pardon my narcissism.

    The internet hides your gender well :pac: I've been called a she often enough here, about time I returned the favour!


  • #60
    G86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,660 ✭✭✭G86


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    It's an ego-massaging excuse, IMO.

    It seems to me that what happens is people might have an initial attraction, but then after they get to know each other a little more, one decides they're not interested. The person rejected then might perceive that they've been 'friend-zoned', when really the other person was just never that attracted to them to begin with. It's certainly not just something men are relegated to.

    If someone doesn't fancy you that much, you get 'friend-zoned', that's it. Nothing to do with not seizing the moment or getting friendly without making your attraction to the other person obvious. Doing so might result in a date or two before they realized you weren't for them, but the bottom line is there just was never all that much attraction there to begin with.

    This is basically it in a nutshell.

    Both people have to fancy/like each other for a romantic relationship to develop. If that isn't there, then nothing will develop. If I meet a guy and he's not interested in me romantically, that doesn't mean he's 'friend zoned me', it means..he's not interested.

    Also, I don't understand why 'friend zone' is used in a derogatory fashion; what's the harm in being friends with a member of the opposite sex? Many of my friends are guys, and yes some have gone down the questionable road of where to draw the line, but the majority are simply platonic relationships and always will be. That IS possible.


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  • #61
    Princess Peach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    I'm not speaking for all women cause I know many girls who have started dating lads they have been friends with for years. Just for me once you are in the friend zone you can never come out of it!

    When I meet a lad I put him into the friend zone immediately, or else he has potential for romance. You get put in the friend zone immediately if

    -You're just not my type
    -I have a boyfriend at the time
    -You're dating someone I know
    -You aren't in a position for me to date (friend's brother, roommate)

    Weird but that's how I work. I could never fancy one of my friend's exes. The girls in my group do a lot of man swapping and I just don't get it. A friend of mine asked me out but when I met him I had a boyfriend and he was put into the friend zone. Such a great guy, but I cant' fancy him now!


  • #62
    Alopex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 632 ✭✭✭Alopex


    I believe the reason the term came about is because girls who feel guilty they don't like their male friend often say stuff like "oh you're like a brother to me - I could never see you like that now" As if they would have liked them if the friendship hadn't developed.

    The reason they feel guilty in the first place is because they knowingly flirt and lead the guy on at the beginning so he'll pay more attention to them.

    The reverse of this is when a guy has sex with a girl he doesn't want to go out with. When the girl tells him she wants more you get the guy making up silly lines like "its not you its me" - again like the friendzone girl above he knew from the start he had no romantic interest in her. Just wanted an easy lay like the girl wanted a male friend who gives her the attention she craves.


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