I need a girlfriend/help.

Laisurg

El Weirdo wrote: »

Seriously, has PI closed or something? What's up with all this stuff in AH lately?

I had a peek in PI once...
People on AH give better experience :pac:

beertons

Join a club that has men and women. Gaa will just be lads training, etc. Tag rugby and running are two i can think of. That's a start. Any female cousins you are close to? Maybe head out with them and their friends for a night. You'll see how much easier it is, and you won't even be trying. And finally, get going to the electric picnic. There's not a woman there that doesn't want to be talked to!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Women are people. People with vaginas but people none the less. I'd say get this "I have to get a girlfriend/get the ride" thing out of your head for a while and just learn to relax around women and realise they are actually the same species as you, there's no reason you can't chat to them the same way you would men.

Don't put yourself in club/pub situations where it's about a 80:20 chance that you'll get shot down, just practice talking to women without the only thing you're thinking being "omg it's a girl it's a girl it's a girl", even if it's just the girl behind the till in a shop or someone in work/college/school who you have no interest in. Find people with similar interests, people you get along with, try and get the sex/romance issue out of your head and pick who you like as opposed to whoever will have you, you sound like a genuinely nice guy which is good, but you also sound like the kind of guy who could be completely manipulated and put through hell by some kunt just because she'll sleep with you.

There are some bitches out there and tbh, that "smell of want" thing is true. If you're wound up about it and it's playing on your mind when you're talking to a woman and all you're thinking is "oooh I wonder does she like me" rather than actually properly talking to her then it IS obvious, so even a perfectly nice woman might come across as cold and uninterested unless you manage to knock that on the head (easier said than done I know). Anyways, rambling drunken advice but hopefully in a year you'll be looking back and thinking "I can't believe this seemed like such a big deal". Gluck!

Edit: two things, leave that facebook girl off, she's just friendly, and don't even think of PUA wingman horsecrap, especially if you're looking for a girlfriend as opposed to a ride off a girl with self-esteem/sex-addiction/etc issues.

HazDanz

Samich wrote: »

No, not gay, for definite. Also I think men can identify someone who can get girls easily without being gay.

That's true. Giving you a proper opinion on your thoughts if you want to get a girlfriend but feel you lack self confidence you should really start with the confidence issue. Can't build a house without a foundation.

I think you mentioned that you think other lads may be fitter than you. Why not start working on that? It may be tough at the start but you could grow to love your exercise sessions and see an improvement in one area of your life.

Also why not try and apply a can do attitude. I found this great for confidence. For example I couldn't cook this time last year. Now I am able to cook because I said f*ck it get your act together, you can learn and then you will be able.

It might sound funny but this in itself gave me a nice boost of confidence as it allowed me to feel I could depend on myself more and I accomplished something thus I felt more confident.

List out things you feel you could improve about yourself which are practical and start with the easiest and work your way up. Once you get that self confidence the girl's you may be after will seem that much more attainable.

Best of luck

How Soon Is Now

First thing unless your a blob and very fecking unhappy with how ur body is then balls to the gym trust me theres loads of ordinary blokes out there who dont have the gym bodys most decent women wont give ****e if your carrying a bit of extra meat.

I used to think a similar way to your self years ago *Im only 25 by the way :P* but i was putting a ton of unneeded pressure on meself and it was only making the situation worse.

Best advice can give ya is dont stress to much bout finding a girlfriend have years ahead of ya to get into all that stuff trust me been with enough women who brought nothing but hassle its not always what its cracked up to be.
Go out with your mates and just enjoy life i know people always say this and sounds like bollox *Did to me anyway* but the less you think bout it and just go about ur social life as normal more chance you have of finding someone decent.

I met my girlfriend at a session in a mates gaff who i have been with for nearly ten months now and it was total spur the moment type thing.

Long story short go out do stuff with your mates your always bound to get into conversations with girls around clubs and pubs *Smoking area is good place* Just chill feck out like :pac:

VenusPlays

HazDanz wrote: »

List out things you feel you could improve about yourself which are practical and start with the easiest and work your way up. Once you get that self confidence the girl's you may be after will seem that much more attainable.

Great idea. Be proactive, if you find something that you can improve on, work on it. And it will take your mental focus off finding someone.

But also make a list of things that positive about yourself. Remind yourself of these things that some girl will see and will find attractive - a sense of humour, wit, intelligence, whatever it may be. You have friends, they like you for a reason.

Sinfonia

Terry Strong Technician wrote: »

don't even think of PUA wingman horsecrap

I don't think it was meant in the 'PUA' sort of way, but realistically, if a guy has trouble striking up conversations with strange girls at a club or wherever, it can be a great start to have a friend with you who can do that, and that way you get involved in the situation without having to initiate anything yourself if you're shy. Experience then helps with getting rid of the shyness.

Anyway, you're right about the 'talk to them as you would men' thing, women really just are other people. Focus your attention on just talking to people more (men and women) and when you talk to women focus on talking to them with the goal of just having a once-off chat or else maybe making a friend. Anything beyond that will develop by itself, and the more people you talk to, the more chance that'll have.

barakus

Samich wrote: »

Ok, basically I'm an early 20's fella, absolutely awful with women.

I go out quite regularly but haven't the testicle fortitude to approach women.

I don't have a good body and have never felt a girl has been interested in me.

I have approached a few women before in clubs asking how their night is but most just shrugged me away.

There is a girl I like but don't we well, doesn't mean she likes me. I've met her once, but chat alot on facebook (me always starting the chat). I don't think she likes me, she's just very friendly I think, no hints or anything from her.

Near the end of the club I always feel depressed when I think I'm absolute failure with girls.

What do ye think of telling that one girl? Good/bad idea? Don't want to ruin the friendship or make it awkward, her friend added me on fb aswell, I hadn't met her before.

Or else I need something to take my mind off women as I'm always thinking about it.

have you tried the larger ladies

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Sinfonia wrote: »

I don't think it was meant in the 'PUA' sort of way, but realistically, if a guy has trouble striking up conversations with strange girls at a club or wherever, it can be a great start to have a friend with you who can do that, and that way you get involved in the situation without having to initiate anything yourself if you're shy. Experience then helps with getting rid of the shyness.

Anyway, you're right about the 'talk to them as you would men' thing, women really just are other people. Focus your attention on just talking to people more (men and women) and when you talk to women focus on talking to them with the goal of just having a once-off chat or else maybe making a friend. Anything beyond that will develop by itself, and the more people you talk to, the more chance that'll have.

Yeah fair enough, I just hate that whole apporach to the thing, treating people as an obstacle in the way of their genitals. And I could be totally wrong, but judging by the OPs posts I don't think chatting up strangers in a club is the way to go, if he was just looking for his hole then fair enough but that doesn't seem to be the case. But I do agree, get a friend to help you make the first contact and provide a socially competent safety net, but even that word wingman and the attitude it implies..cringe.

DonkeyStyle \o/

Samich wrote: »

Or else I need something to take my mind off women as I'm always thinking about it.

Get a fleshlight and a bottle of lube. Sure, it seems sad and creepy at first, but it's less sad than sitting on your bed at the end of the night, starting into space, re-living the facial expressions of women who looked at you like you were a piece of shit.
If you were taking care of business properly, you wouldn't be such a desperate horndog.

sandra06

Samich wrote: »

Should also have said the fb girl is gorgeous and way out of my league.

no woman is out of your league just be nice to them maybe ask out for coffee ,her lose if she says no:p

Larianne

Go to parties. You're in college, most people pre drink before going to clubs, do this. Its a much more relaxed environment and easier to get talking to girls.

That, or join clubs/societies in college.

Kojak

The OP should just forget about the whole thing and save his money - if he gets involved with her, she will just fleece him

Cill Dara Abu

Kojak wrote: »

The OP should just forget about the whole thing and save his money - if he gets involved with her, she will just fleece him

You single?

senorwipesalot

All pissed women want to hear that they are the sexiest /best lookin/ funniest/cleverest in the room/pub/club/world/county . OP ,make a lady feel like the only lady for you and soon you will be ridin for Ireland.

deathrider

Samich wrote: »

Should also have said the fb girl is gorgeous and way out of my league.

Ah, yes. I also have one or two gorgeous fb girls that are waaaaaaay outta my league. I'd meet them for coffee and a chat (always a good place to start, I reckon) every once in a while, and it usually goes great. I know said girls have little or no interest in me for anything other than coffee and a bout of ****e-talk, but still it's nice to have friends like that.

MrStuffins

Dude, you're in there like swimwear!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2056361735

pappyodaniel

Whenever these threads about meeting a potential partner pop up on boards.ie, someone usually comments by saying "You should join a tag rugby team!"

I don't get it. Are these tag rugby events merely a front for singles to meet up and ride each other?

Crouch, Touch..... ENGAGE! :eek:

irelandspurs

Rohypnol

superbad50

you need to change your thinking patterns , easier said than done . i was the exact same but as i got older my confidence grew. maybe join a gym to boost your confidence . dnt try to be someone your not as women will see right through you . there are a lot of my friends in the same boat . the one thing they try to do is get hammered and end up looking even more of a prat.

stay positive . it comes with age. try focus on having a laugh with your friends and not women for a while and the chances are you will meet someone when you least expect it

kevthegaff

Well first of all most girls do care about the body but some dont!. Firstly you need to start doing a bit of running or something. Ull look healthier and fitter. U should have a couple of interesting stories about your job, etc. Then u need a wingman and go to a club away from home and try as many women as ye can. The first and second are tough(its like jumping into a pool-first its cold and wet, after a while ye love jumping in and out). I wasnt that good with women when i was younger, now that i dont give a s**t i seem to attract them. Women can smell desperation. Everyone has good attributes, u just need to focus on these.

Siuin

One word: P90X

My boyfriend did it. It works

BBDBB

Samich wrote: »

Oh another thing to add is I'm always thinking sure why would a girl get with me when there's looooads of men hotter than me with better bodies who would get with them. I don't think I''m ugly, just not goodlooking.

can I ask how you ever expect to get a girl to like you when you dont appear to like yourself that much

sorry if that sounds harsh, but you need to change your mindset towards yourself if you want other people (especially the masters of confusion, the wimminz) to like you and fall for you

stovelid

Samich wrote: »

I go out quite regularly but haven't the testicle fortitude to approach women.

You may not have a mot but your terminology is good.

TheUsual

stovelid wrote: »

You may not have a mot but your terminology is good.

Should have been "testicular fortitude".

Close so I gave him a B minus.

Love,
grammar troll.

puddinboxxx

Im by no means an expert but heres a few things i would try,the next time your out,spend the entire nite thinkin that you gots the sexiest piece of ass waitin for you to nail her when you get home,it might be hard but if it works itll keep you smilin for the nite and your happiness will attract the ladies.If a girl comes talkin to you keep thinkin bout the ass,women always want what they cant have so if she thinks you got a girlfriend she'll be all over you like a ................sammich.Apart from that you need to suss out what is good about you,you say your not happy bout the way you look,well there aint mcuh you can do about that unless ya go for surgery,get some woman friend to tell you whats good about you,if your funny concentrate on ways to make a girl laugh,if your a good listener then use that etc and most of all try not to worry bout it too much ,women are like porsche's,sure it'd be nice to have one but youll survive without one

MagicSean

Hit the gym four times a week for a month. It will make you better looking and more confident. The women will pay more attention to you.

And stop looking for a girlfriend in nightclubs. That's were you find slutty one night stands.

barakus

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote: »

Get a fleshlight and a bottle of lube. Sure, it seems sad and creepy at first, but it's less sad than sitting on your bed at the end of the night, starting into space, re-living the facial expressions of women who looked at you like you were a piece of shit.
If you were taking care of business properly, you wouldn't be such a desperate horndog.

Jesus. Sounds like your speaking from experience there

stovelid

TheUsual wrote: »

Should have been "testicular fortitude".

Close, so I gave him a B minus.

Love,
Grammar troll.

Indeed.

Coffeeteasugar

Be yourself, genuine and not just in pursuit of one thing..