If this was your cat would you want me to tell you?

strandroad

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I'll do this then, yes I thought about ringing them at times during the 2 months and decided to make a decision one way or the other today when I found out my friend definitely didn't. I appreciate that I'm not coming across very clearly and I have no intention of launching into a whole this is what happened to your cat speech, however if it were someone ringing me to let me know one of my pets has died (as has happened on many, many occasions) I will know for a fact that I will ask every single detail over the phone. So if I'm asked what happened, how and where etc. I know how that conversation will go, which is why I am hesitant to make the call.

Look the way you phrase your words is entirely up to you. If it was me I'd simply say that you are aware that the cat died in a car accident and you didn't know they hadn't been notified until today. If they press for details you can tell that it got into a car engine - and leave it at that. Tell them it's all you know as the car was not yours. There is no way they can force you to tell them horror stories if you don't want to.

Tranceypoo

I honestly don't see why you would have to give them the 'gory details', you tell them their cat died, they ask what happened and you would tell them it got caught in your friends car engine, honestly they could work out for themselves what happened. My cat doesn't even wear a collar (I'm afraid of her getting stuck somewhere) but she goes out every morning, cats like to be outside, she doesn't go far or for very often but I wouldn't keep her inside the whole time she'd be climbing the walls, I just can't see how you think it's the owners fault that the cat got in a car engine?

orchidsrpretty

My sister ran a cat over a few years ago, we took him to the vets but it died. It didn't have a collar or microchip so I put up some posters in the local shops. About 3 months later I got a call from the owners of the cat who lived about 30kms away and just saw the notice. They were very grateful to be able to know what had happened to their cat. Its bring some closure. So I say ring them but they don't need to hear the gory details. Why can't you just say that the cat fell asleep in the car engine and no-one noticed. That is telling them without being grusome.

aisher

If my cat went missing over two months ago I would presume it was either dead or had been taken in by someone else. The last thing I would expect is to get a phone call from someone giving me details of its death that happend months before. I would think they were either callous or mad - dont bother phoning them if you are going to be 'honest' - what a horrible thing to even consider.

Mo60

al28283 wrote: »

Agreed, very strange. If the OPs's morals were that strong he would have rang as soon as it became an issue for him rather than starting a thread to see what others think he should do.

The fact that the OP left phoning the cat owner for a couple of months, I do not think OP started the thread worried about upsetting the owner. It looks more to the giving an opinion of the cat owner allowing their animal to roam.

I allow my cats outside and if anything happened I would like to know as soon as possible, as would most people if their pet went missing.

Cherry Blossom

Well I have just spoken with a delightful gentleman, who couldn't care less that his cat is dead. Apparently it was an 'auld nuisance' anyway. Fear not, humanity isn't dead after all!

strandroad

Well done. Feck the gentleman, you've done your bit and this is what matters.

ppink

I am a little lost with the 2 month thing but leaving that aside I would call them and tell them.

I tend to always give the benefit of the doubt with people as I was once in the position where OH left my dog out on the road and only for someone stopped I dread to think............if anything happened there would have been war!!

So I would call them and tell them the cat was found. I would not be going into gorey details but if they were casual about it I would be saying to them that it was very upsetting for those who found the poor cat as it is not nice to kill a pet.

EDIT: just saw your last post............well so much for my benefit of the doubt!!!!!

Little_Focker

Well I have just spoken with a delightful gentleman, who couldn't care less that his cat is dead. Apparently it was an 'auld nuisance' anyway. Fear not, humanity isn't dead after all!

Really?? Strange why he would put a collar with his number on it if he thought the cat was a nuisance :confused

Just for the record I would want to know what happened - well obviously not the gory details as someone else pointed out if you said "your cat was in my friends car engine and unfortuantly he was dead when we opened the bonnet" would be sufficient, if I pressed you for details then you could tell me, but Id be horrified if you rang me and said straight out "Y'know your cat that was missing for 2 months well it got cooked in my friends car engine and I had to cut it out with a butcher knife" Id be pretty shocked that someone could be that cruel to just blurt it out.

Also how do you know your friend wasnt on this person property and thats how the cat got into the engine? The cat may not necessarily been roaming. My cats love going out to smell anyone's car that calls to the house (they are worse than the dogs!) thankfully they never get up in the engine but will get into the car/boot if its left open. Then what if that person went home with my cat and it got away on them and went up in someone else's engine, is that my fault?

planetX

Seems mighty strange that the gentleman would go to the trouble of putting a phone number on the collar if he didn't care less...
Waiting 2 months to call... weird.

strandroad

Little_Focker wrote: »

Really?? Strange why he would put a collar with his number on it if he thought the cat was a nuisance

Could be that another family member cared for the cat and he didn't. Hopefully the information will reach whoever might be interested to hear it.

kildare.17hmr

if your gonna tell em just do it but spare the details. The details wouldn't bother me but im sure it would alot of people. Your cat got knocked down, job done

Sigma Force

The fact the owners had put ID on the cat means they did care about the cat, most people do allow their cats to wander, this doesn't mean they don't care about their cat it just means they are sadly willing to take the risk.

2 months is fine in my book, if I lost an animal I would prefer to know in the end it doesn't matter when at this stage as much it just matters that they have some closure.

There's no need to go in to every detail they will clearly be able to imagine what happened once you tell them where the cat was found.

No point in giving them a lecture most cat owners think they are right and you are wrong when it comes to explaining that cats need to be kept secure so you might as well be talking to the wall with most people.

Tell them, don't give too many gorey details. Yes it's been left on the long finger but all you have to do is be honest and say you weren't sure whether to break the news or not because of how the cat died. It's not your fault the cat died it's theirs so there doesn't need to be any guilt on your part.

*NM good that you rang, perhaps someone else in the family cared about the cat to put id on it. The non winner in this whole thing was the cat at the end of the day. Hopefully at least one cat owner will read this thread and think twice about allowing their cat to roam.

Cherry Blossom

planetX wrote: »

Seems mighty strange that the gentleman would go to the trouble of putting a phone number on the collar if he didn't care less...

Not particularly, I have a neighbour whose cat has a collar and tag as the cat was a fad and it was great fun buying all the stuff when it was new. When the fad got 'old' they added a bell so they could hear it coming in case it sneaked into the house past them when people where coming and going. :rolleyes:

Cherry Blossom

Little_Focker wrote: »

Also how do you know your friend wasnt on this person property and thats how the cat got into the engine? The cat may not necessarily been roaming.

Well the person made a 100 mile odd journey, they started at their own house and finished at mine, they only stopped twice, at a filling station and at a small supermarket/large shop in NI in the town where the cat turned out to be from.

Anyway job done now, thanks for all the replies.

ISDW

Well done for making the call, how typical about the owner's response. I guess sometimes I forget that just because I care for my animals, and so other posters on here, that a lot of people are just callous beings.

It is strange though that the cat got into the engine when your friend was stopped at a supermarket - does make me wonder, if the cat was a nuisance, whether there might be more to it? A supermarket car park, even a small one in a small town, would be a bit busy for a cat to be hopping into engines, usually that happens on drive ways, when its quiet.

Poor cat, and poor you, must have been a horrendous thing for you to have to do at the time.

Mo60

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

Well I have just spoken with a delightful gentleman, who couldn't care less that his cat is dead. Apparently it was an 'auld nuisance' anyway. Fear not, humanity isn't dead after all!

Just think, if you had phoned the number straight away, as most normal people would, you would not have had to wait over 2 months to prove your point.

amdublin

Yes.

I wish you made call 2 months ago.

And no need for all those disgusting details as well.

Cherry Blossom

ISDW wrote: »

Well done for making the call, how typical about the owner's response. I guess sometimes I forget that just because I care for my animals, and so other posters on here, that a lot of people are just callous beings.

It is strange though that the cat got into the engine when your friend was stopped at a supermarket - does make me wonder, if the cat was a nuisance, whether there might be more to it? A supermarket car park, even a small one in a small town, would be a bit busy for a cat to be hopping into engines, usually that happens on drive ways, when its quiet.

Poor cat, and poor you, must have been a horrendous thing for you to have to do at the time.

Well I guess I've become so accustomed to people not looking after their pets that sometimes I forget that some actually do care. It would have been quite early in the morning so possibly quiet enough and cats have a tendency to climb into jeeps quicker than cars because it's easier to do or there is more space or something.

I'm actually somewhat surprised by some of the responses to this, the cat was already dead, cats get killed every day and no big deal is made about it. It's a regular occurrence that they just suddenly don't come home. If I were to start a thread that I'd found a dog that looked like it was a bit worse off for wear I imagine I'd get suggestions that I should just find it a good home and not bother getting it scanned and in effect 'steal' it. Lot of double standards going on. There isn't much anyone can do for a dead cat, were it still alive it would have been a different story and although I have never found a cat yet that had a microchip I will keep taking them to get scanned.

Cherry Blossom

amdublin wrote: »

Yes.

I wish you made call 2 months ago.

And no need for all those disgusting details as well.

In comparison to what I actually had to do, my description is pretty tame, I doubt many would have stepped up to the mark, so until you are in that situation yourself perhaps you should reserve judgement.

Anyway - over and out!

Bullseye1

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I'm afraid I'm a huge advocate of responsible pet ownership, so they either get all or nothing I'm afraid. If a person chooses to let their pet wander then they accept that it may come to an end like this or that they may never know what became of it. IMO it was entirely their choice that the cat was there in the first place. I am not know to be diplomatic with the truth (as I'm sure most reading this will already know!). I've spent 2 months already trying to decide and if the decision isn't made today the collar goes in the bin. I'm not delegating this to someone else, I'm the person who cut the cat out, so I'm the one who will either make the call or not as the case may be.

Could not disagree more. What if the cat was an indoor cat and escaped when I child opened the door and that child has been worried ever since. How will it benefit that child.

Ring the owner and let them know the cat is dead. Run over or similar. No need to go into details.

amdublin

I wish you had posted two months ago and I could have asked you for the number and made the call then meself.

niamhsiobhan

Make the call. After two months though it would be fairly likely that the owner has presumed the cat dead already. You'll nearly be able to tell though what kind of person the owner is from talking to them. If they seem flippant about the issue then they deserve all the gorey details. If the person sounds concerned the I'd say don't tell them. I'd be in bits if I thought any of my pets died that way, but I love my animals.

I don't think the owner can be blamed really for the way the cat died. Anything could have happened to lead to that situation, and it probably was beyond control of the owner.

Let us know how the call goes anyway.

Zapperzy

I'm aware you already made the call and fair play for doing it, if it were my cat I would want the closure.

Just adding this in case anyone in a similar situation is reading. My cat is an indoor cat and wears a collar with phone numbers on it. Accidents happen and cats can escape, happened me once, stupidly walking her on a harness and lead in the back garden late in the evening in poor light, tripped over a chair and she paniced and slipped the harness off. Thankfully she just hid in the bushes for a minute before running back in the door. If she had run off and had been killed in the fashion AJ described I would be thankful for a phone call saying she had died, if circumstances were the same as were described and the caller told me this I think it would actually ruin me, I would never forgive myself for walking her that night if she was killed but to hear details would push me over the edge. A simple your cat died in a road accident (or in an engine but without the details) would suffice and I would not ask details, perhaps was it quick but I would expect a simple yes or no, but not a story about cooking in engines and butcher knives.

People make a decision whether to let a cat outside or not, they know the risks, it would be my opinion that telling them such a story (well story is the wrong word, truth) is not going to change their minds anymore than simply a dead cat.

caseyann

Just read what the reply was from the man.I would say the cat was the wife's or the kids pet and he didnt like the cat.Alot of men dont like cats.Or he was just being all masculine on the phone and cried like a baby after.
But i doubt he owned that poor animal on his own, having that attitude about it.

gaz wac

Sid_Justice wrote: »

What's with your weird attitude to this entire thing?

Someone else's pet cat died on your property (well your friends if it's his car).
You knew about this for 2.5 months.
You should have rang then and explained what happened then.
There are a lot of reasons for this, but I think ranking highly would be a bit of common courtesy.

If you're going to be so petulant and childish about it why don't you just text them

"your kat is dead soz"

All this guff about "compromising your morals" what are your morals at stake here? call credit? Is your entire issue the the principle that "cats shouldn't be let out".

+1 I was in shock reading the OP...and then noticed they are a Mod of Animals and Pet issues :eek: lovely attitude :rolleyes:

Mo60

Irrespective of the OP's views and opinions I was also shocked to see the original post. They would not have known the situation as to why the cat was out - could have escaped. Also could have been some childs much loved pet.

Surely, anyone with a heart would ring straightaway to inform the owner.

**Vai**

As has been said before, fair play for making the call but it was surely a few months too late. That is the type of call that should be made immediately, no need for graphic details but certainly the call should have been made immediately. Im a little shocked actually.

Whippersnapper

What was there to gain from going into the details? Surely someone finding out their cat was dead would be enough of a shock and they wouldn't need gory details to become more responsible (if they were irresponsible in the first instance).

I'm not sure what morals you claim to have that meant you could not have sympathy for the person you were about to ring.

sambuka41

In fairness the OP has explained that its wasn't their car, their friend only informed them recently that no call was made. Because the OP cares about animals this would have been on their minds.

Cut a bit of slack it must have been horrible to have to get the cat out of the car. I don't think I could have done that, it would be very upsetting, and I think I would be pissed off with the cat owner too, if only as a reaction to the upset of it. (Its no judgement of people who let their cats out, i have a cat who was outdoors for 4 years, so I've done the same. But if i had to clean up a dead, cooked cat I would be annoyed too.)

Very sad to hear that reaction from the owner, it would make you wonder why you bothered :rolleyes: I hope he passes the news on to whoever did care about the cat, in a nicer way than he reacted to you.