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An Atheist and a little girl........

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    #62
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Freddie59 wrote: »
    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk?
    Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

    The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

    Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

    "OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass.
    Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps.
    Why do you suppose that is?"

    The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

    To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know $hit?"

    And then she went back to reading her book.


    Whether you're a believer or non-believer........it is funny!:)


    When did this happen? Was it Maddie?????????????


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    #63
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Atheists are funny.


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    #64
    wild_cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,291 ✭✭✭wild_cat


    TheZohan wrote: »
    When did this happen? Was it Maddie?????????????

    I laughed at that for a solid 5 minutes.


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    #65
    Calibos
    Registered Users Posts: 7,806 ✭✭✭Calibos


    A militant Atheist, A militant Muslim and a Militant Christian walk into a bar.

    The cops burst in and arrest the Militant Christian for a mass shooting in Norway, the Militant Muslim for stoning his daughter to death for dating a hindu and on their way out they ask the Militant Atheist how he is doing, "Ah just havin' a quiet pint and a philsophical chat with me mate here lads."


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    #66
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    An atheist and a Christian walk into a bar.

    They both have a lovely evening and don't argue about religion at all as they're both intelligent adults who respect each other's beliefs and opinions, and know there's no point in trying to convert each other.


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    #67
    Bipolar Joe
    Registered Users Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    The King of Moo wrote: »
    An atheist and a Christian walk into a bar.

    They both have a lovely evening and don't argue about religion at all as they're both intelligent adults who respect each other's beliefs and opinions, and know there's no point in trying to convert each other.

    Absurdist comedy is my favourite.


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    #68
    Da Shins Kelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,048 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    To be honest, I cringe for other atheists who get offended by sh*t jokes.


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    #69
    wild_cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,291 ✭✭✭wild_cat


    Da Shins Kelly wrote: »
    To be honest, I cringe for other atheists who get offended by sh*t jokes.

    I'm not offended. I was just showing them how its done. ;)


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    #70
    Typh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 66 ✭✭Typh


    It's interesting how either side of the fence take and give offense.

    Post some withering diatribe telling a theist of some variety that his, or her, belief is empty and meaningless, and that they're insular/indoctrinated fools for following their beliefs, I'd say the vast majority wouldn't bat an eye-lid. Others may engage in debate and the interest in cyclical arguments will wane eventually, others may weep and attempt to fog their emotional turmoil with anonymous white pills they stole from a manic aunt.

    On the other hand, make an off-hand comment about about the tide of vogue atheism and how it's 'hip to be godless' and the vast majority won't care. That being said, a few people will get so uppity and offended you would swear you were knuckles deep inside their daughter.

    No need to include the idiot zealots in this example, purely because I can't imagine someone on boards finding some inane comment so offensive that they literally climb a bell-tower with a rifle.

    Either way, it's a terrible equation that you can substitute some faction in to offend suitably, and it amounts to a **** joke. Just saying.
    I tend to agree with whoever shouted 'Why can't we all just get along?' at the sky.


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    #71
    Kepti
    Closed Accounts Posts: 426 ✭✭Kepti


    It's offensive by virtue of being a shamefully poor trolling attempt.


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    #72
    Cú Giobach
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,772 ✭✭✭Cú Giobach


    Freddie59 wrote: »
    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk?
    Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

    The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

    Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

    "OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass.
    Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps.
    Why do you suppose that is?"

    The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

    To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know $hit?"

    And then she went back to reading her book.


    Whether you're a believer or non-believer........it is funny!:)

    Breaking news.....
    Religious person lambasts atheist for admitting to not knowing the answer for everything.


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    #73
    Freddie59
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,679 ✭✭✭Freddie59


    For feck's sake. Is this STILL going on? I had atheists down for a better sense of humour. I laugh at some anti-Christian/Catholic/Religion jokes because they are funny jokes. Try it sometime. it'll do you a world of good!:D


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    #74
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Thread just gets funnier and funnier.


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    #75
    dvpower
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,183 ✭✭✭dvpower


    Micky Dolenz wrote: »
    Thread just gets funnier and funnier.
    Funny peculiar or funny ha ha?


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    #76
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    dvpower wrote: »
    Funny peculiar or funny ha ha?


    Bit of both.


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    #77
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Funny to the believers among us.


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    #78
    Cú Giobach
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,772 ✭✭✭Cú Giobach


    Freddie59 wrote: »
    For feck's sake. Is this STILL going on? I had atheists down for a better sense of humour. I laugh at some anti-Christian/Catholic/Religion jokes because they are funny jokes. Try it sometime. it'll do you a world of good!:D
    An atheist walks up to a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?" The preacher has no time to reply. "Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that's it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!"
    The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. "Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! "Its all pie in the sky when you die." When I die that's it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing.
    He continues, until he reaches his climax, "I will be buried six feet under when I die and that's it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!"
    "Well thank God for that" replies the preacher!


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    #79
    Daroxtar
    Registered Users Posts: 4,333 ✭✭✭Daroxtar


    Once upon a time there was a crowd of people who claimed to know about the existence of something which could never be proven to exist. Their sworn enemies were a crowd of people who claimed to know there was no such thing as a thing which could never be proven to not exist.

    And the agnostic said "Would ye just shut the fúck up with yer incessant whingeing and bickering. I cant decide if I have a pain in my head or my hole thanks to ye. Its like someone drilling out a filling while scraping their nails across a blackboard "

    And they all lived unhappily ever after


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