Should watching porn stop when you're in a relationship?

Temptamperu

Crazy chicks are the best in bed though

argosy2006

http://pedlerpete.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/bitch_be_gone.gif?w=296&h=300

Problem solved

Gilldog

Hannah2011 wrote: »

And that is why this conversation will go round and round, because by your comment you have clearly demonstrated you don't have a clue and don't understand women at all.

Im a woman, and I agree with him. does that mean that I don't understand women at all?

Clearly if she has such a major issue with him watching porn, its her own insecurities at play. The only problem I would ever have with porn would be if it became an addiction or if a guy I was seeing wanted me to act out something I was uncomfortable with. I have watched porn of my choosing with ex boyfriends and found it fun, I understand some women don't like it but that does'nt mean its a mans failing for liking it.

My ex boyfriend was very jealous of a super hunky foreign housemate I had, and used to get all paranoid that we got on well all the time - his issues, not mine. People are gonna fantasize about other people, and anyone who says they don't are liars!

MagicSean

Gilldog wrote: »

Im a woman, and I agree with him. does that mean that I don't understand women at all?

Clearly if she has such a major issue with him watching porn, its her own insecurities at play. The only problem I would ever have with porn would be if it became an addiction or if a guy I was seeing wanted me to act out something I was uncomfortable with. I have watched porn of my choosing with ex boyfriends and found it fun, I understand some women don't like it but that does'nt mean its a mans failing for liking it.

My ex boyfriend was very jealous of a super hunky foreign housemate I had, and used to get all paranoid that we got on well all the time - his issues, not mine. People are gonna fantasize about other people, and anyone who says they don't are liars!

I remember reading about a study that explained mens attraction to porn. It's basically because of a lack of imagination and creativity. Women have the creative capacity to imagine up many fantasies with different people whereas men rely more on memory. So men will often remember sexual encounters instead of thinking of new ones. Porn basically provides new memory content for them.

westendgirlie

Agree with LyndaMcL & Aoifey! on this one. Don't know if their outlook comes with relationship experience but mine does.

I don't feel threatened by the females in porn and Girlies, if you've never seen a porn, take it from me that most of their anatomy is not real! Movies are made up in bits and pieces and edited for viewing pleasure. Like Pierce Brosnan who's on right now. I'm having nawtee thoughts and he's dressed!!!

Dunno about the other girlies on here but I think about sex.........a lot. And if men are disgusting for watching somebody elses ideas then I really won't be going to heaven for some of the ideas I have thought of myself

Gilldog

Seanbeag1 wrote: »

I remember reading about a study that explained mens attraction to porn. It's basically because of a lack of imagination and creativity. Women have the creative capacity to imagine up many fantasies with different people whereas men rely more on memory. So men will often remember sexual encounters instead of thinking of new ones. Porn basically provides new memory content for them.

So pretty much porn helps men learn better...they should use that to advertise it - porn makes you smarter!

philologos

The OP's girlfriend shouldn't have broken his laptop, shouldn't have been snooping around, but ultimately I do agree with her. It is broadly analogous to cheating as far as I see it. Others mightn't share that view but I can understand why she would.

I don't get how this position must of necessity mean insecurity though. Think about it this way OP, if there wasn't anything contentious about it why did you feel the need to hide it from your girlfriend in the first place?

willmunny1990

its all just fantasy to me i was never compareing her with the women in the films,she claims i think shes not enough for me but just because i take care of myself and choke the chicken from time to time doesnt mean i think that,im sure women do it aswell.They might not look at porn but the defo take care of themselves!

tan11ie

philologos wrote: »

The OP's girlfriend shouldn't have broken his laptop, shouldn't have been snooping around, but ultimately I do agree with her. It is broadly analogous to cheating as far as I see it. Others mightn't share that view but I can understand why she would.

I don't get how this position must of necessity mean insecurity though. Think about it this way OP, if there wasn't anything contentious about it why did you feel the need to hide it from your girlfriend in the first place?

I'm guessing he knew the probable outcome of being caught. CRAZY **** REACTION !

tan11ie

willmunny1990 wrote: »

its all just fantasy to me i was never compareing her with the women in the films,she claims i think shes not enough for me but just because i take care of myself and choke the chicken from time to time doesnt mean i think that,im sure women do it aswell.They might not look at porn but the defo take care of themselves!

Maybe your not showing her she is enough...just saying

philologos

tan11ie wrote: »

I'm guessing he knew the probable outcome of being caught. CRAZY **** REACTION !

Again, I don't see what's wrong about her reasoning. It's obvious that if one felt as if their partner were going to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere that they would feel as if they weren't / aren't enough.

I can understand that, but as for the manifestation of that feeling through breaking the OP's property, that's clearly wrong.

Saila

Seanbeag1 wrote: »

I remember reading about a study that explained mens attraction to porn. It's basically because of a lack of imagination and creativity. Women have the creative capacity to imagine up many fantasies with different people whereas men rely more on memory. So men will often remember sexual encounters instead of thinking of new ones. Porn basically provides new memory content for them.

and nothing to do with stunning women getting nailed in all kinds of positions and entries

tan11ie

philologos wrote: »

Again, I don't see what's wrong about her reasoning. It's obvious that if one felt as if their partner were going to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere that they would feel as if they weren't / aren't enough.

I can understand that, but as for the manifestation of that feeling through breaking the OP's property, that's clearly wrong.

He wasn't physically cheating! Now that's a whole different ball game.

Emiko

philologos wrote: »

Again, I don't see what's wrong about her reasoning. It's obvious that if one felt as if their partner were going to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere that they would feel as if they weren't / aren't enough.

It's a bit like thoughtcrime.

philologos

Both are broadly analogous as I see it. The only difference is the direct physicality. It doesn't change the fact that you are getting your jollies to another man or woman as far as I would see it.

MagicSean

Saila wrote: »

and nothing to do with stunning women getting nailed in all kinds of positions and entries

I think you're missing my point. Women can create the fantasy. Men need to see it.

flutterflye

Gilldog wrote: »

People are gonna fantasize about other people, and anyone who says they don't are liars!

This bugs me big time!
Why is it that people believe that people are liars if they don't live up to the norms of society?!
I can say 100% honestly that I do not fantasize about anyone else at all ever.
I can see if a guy is hot, and I'll think "wow, he's hot" and then continue thinking about the dinner or whatever.

stripysocks85

Does the whole 'stop watching porn when in a relationship' lark apply when I'm the female?!

willmunny1990

flutterflye wrote: »

This bugs me big time!
Why is it that people believe that people are liars if they don't live up to the norms of society?!
I can say 100% honestly that I do not fantasize about anyone else at all ever.
I can see if a guy is hot, and I'll think "wow, he's hot" and then continue thinking about the dinner or whatever.

then your not human

Gilldog

flutterflye wrote: »

This bugs me big time!
Why is it that people believe that people are liars if they don't live up to the norms of society?!
I can say 100% honestly that I do not fantasize about anyone else at all ever.
I can see if a guy is hot, and I'll think "wow, he's hot" and then continue thinking about the dinner or whatever.

To be honest, I was basing it on conversations ive had with all my female friends over the years, and every one of them had a favourite guy on tv or sports player or celebrity or whatever what they fantasized about. A lot of the shows on tv like true blood and game of thrones have super hot guys with no shirts on looking hunky and dangerous and it's why a lot of women watch them in my opinion - because its a character they fall for, because women tend to need more than just a picture or an image, I believe that women need some sort of personality to go along with a hot bod.

But hey, if you say that you have never fantasized about someone other than your boyfriend or husband, good for you. Im just saying that I do it regularly and so do most of my friends, and there's nothing wrong with it. I believe you, but I also think you are in the minority.

Everybody needs escapism

flutterflye

willmunny1990 wrote: »

then your not human

What am I then?!
You'll need to realise that everyone is different, and just because you think something is true, doesn't make it so.

Jam

The woman is basically a sexual terrorist. Do not give into her demands! She want to control how, when, and to what you orgasm to. Wait- maybe she's a sexual fundamentalist?

She's over-reacting. Porn is perfectly acceptable as a substitute when she's unavailable/unwilling. It's when you prefer the porn over her that it could be an issue.

dresden8

Whatever your thoughts about porn it is clear that yer wan is a violent bully and you are best rid.

I doubt our female defenders here would be so quick to jump to your defence if you had stormed in and smashed up her stuff, right or wrong.

She's a psycho.

hatrickpatrick

BTW could I point out that IMO the porn question is completely and totally irrelevant here.

There is no excuse for destroying your property and getting violent. Another of society's hideous double standards - if a guy acted this way it would almost definitely be labelled domestic violence, but when a woman does it, "Oh well he must have done something to deserve it"

Feck's sake

Saila

Seanbeag1 wrote: »

I think you're missing my point. Women can create the fantasy. Men need to see it.

ok then, I can do both! - so suck them apples

MagicSean

Saila wrote: »

ok then, I can do both! - so suck them apples

Anything you create is recycled from something you've seen or done.

pragmatic1

When men watch porn they arent doing much thinking never mind comparing women in them to their partners.

Saila

Seanbeag1 wrote: »

Anything you create is recycled from something you've seen or done.

I see, so what your saying is women are from a different planet literally, and in their fantasies they have never used memory to make the fantasy
either way the original point is lying in flames somewhere!

Teyla Emmagan

pragmatic1 wrote: »

When men watch porn they arent doing much thinking never mind comparing women in them to their partners.

Good news!

booboo88

westendgirlie wrote: »

Agree with LyndaMcL & Aoifey! on this one. Don't know if their outlook comes with relationship experience but mine does.

I don't feel threatened by the females in porn and Girlies, if you've never seen a porn, take it from me that most of their anatomy is not real! Movies are made up in bits and pieces and edited for viewing pleasure. Like Pierce Brosnan who's on right now. I'm having nawtee thoughts and he's dressed!!!

Dunno about the other girlies on here but I think about sex.........a lot. And if men are disgusting for watching somebody elses ideas then I really won't be going to heaven for some of the ideas I have thought of myself

I used to be like that, but then got with my now ex boyfriend,
I actually woke up to him fapping to porn, while i was asleep in bed
now i dont have a problem with porn, but dont bloody do it in my bed or my laptop ffs :mad:

but hold the freaking phone, she actually threw the laptop off the wall?????


get out while you still have something to fap with:eek:

tan11ie

booboo88 wrote: »

I used to be like that, but then got with my now ex boyfriend,
I actually woke up to him fapping to porn, while i was asleep in bed
now i dont have a problem with porn, but dont bloody do it in my bed or my laptop ffs :mad:

but hold the freaking phone, she actually threw the laptop off the wall?????


get out while you still have something to fap with:eek:

Oh it just gets better! I haven't laughed so much in ages.:D

Acacia

OP, clear your history, ffs, that was a rookie mistake. I think your gf maybe over-reacted, but you really shat on yourself by trying to pay off the little brother, thus deceiving her and making yourself look like you'd done something terrible when you really didn't.

I don't think watching pr0n should stop once you're in a relationship, but clearly your gf does. Maybe explain that it's nothing to do with how attractive she is and how much you love her, it's just something some people do and it's not a big deal. But antics like not admitting you were looking at it just make you look immature and deceptive , tbh.

jill_valentine

Don't have an issue with porn, and that chick is a loony. Get far, far away.

Trying to pay off the bro was dumb and wrong though, not cool.

MagicSean

Saila wrote: »

I see, so what your saying is women are from a different planet literally, and in their fantasies they have never used memory to make the fantasy
either way the original point is lying in flames somewhere!

Either you're being deliberately obtuse or you suffer from some form of mental retardation. Either way I don't really give a ****. It's not my research your flaming.

Sky King

Dump her conservative ass (after one last ride).

Oh and the kick the **** of her dip**** brother (after one last ride).

Mint Sauce

Not sure whats worse, your chick throwing your laptop against the wall, you paying off the brother, or him hanging you out to dry.

Next time, set your browser to automatically clear your history after each use.

flutterflye

I have issues with porn that I'm not bothered going into right now.

But in regards to watching porn in a relationship-
I would be hurt if my husband were to watch porn instead of coming to me.
If I'm not there or not in the mood, I have no problem with him looking at it to de-horny himself or whatever.

If a girl finds it to be unacceptable for the guy to watch porn, then she has that right, just as he has the right to want to watch it.
So, either a compromise is needed, or the guy stops watching porn, or the girl learns to deal with it.
If none of those options are possible, well then maybe the relationship isn't going to work.

Jam

flutterflye wrote: »

But in regards to watching porn in a relationship-
I would be hurt if my husband were to watch porn instead of coming to me.
If I'm not there or not in the mood, I have no problem with him looking at it to de-horny himself or whatever.

In his hypothetical defense, it depends how accommodating you are. If you're turning him down more often than not, then it's just easier, practically and emotionally (rejection is still rejection) to masturbate. That and it get's tiring being instigator.

Donald Draper

Your girlfriend sound like a horrible conservative cnut. Tell her to go fcuk herself then punch her in the ovaries.

flutterflye

Jam wrote: »

In his hypothetical defense, it depends how accommodating you are. If you're turning him down more often than not, then it's just easier, practically and emotionally (rejection is still rejection) to masturbate. That and it get's tiring being instigator.

Huh???!!!

What has any of that to do with any of my post?
I just said that if he was watching porn instead of coming to me, I would be hurt.
Clearly there would be a problem in the relationship if that were happening.
In your scenario, instead of the "easier" option of getting into the habit of using porn all the time, I would hope that he would discuss the issue with me so that we could get the relationship back on track.

Liam Byrne

She threw a laptop against the wall ?

Seriously ?

I'd get my ass outa there ASAP.

up for anything

Donald Draper wrote: »

Your girlfriend sound like a horrible conservative cnut. Tell her to go fcuk herself then punch her in the ovaries.

Read your post back to yourself and see what you sound like! :mad:

As my father would say, you are neither big nor clever. :rolleyes:

ardinn

flutterflye wrote: »

Huh???!!!

What has any of that to do with any of my post?
I just said that if he was watching porn instead of coming to me, I would be hurt.
Clearly there would be a problem in the relationship if that were happening.
In your scenario, instead of the "easier" option of getting into the habit of using porn all the time, I would hope that he would discuss the issue with me so that we could get the relationship back on track.

Look sometimes you just want to rub one out - its no reflection on you, so get over it!

Reiss Avfc

I find that if you're actually getting some you shouldn't really need the porn? There should be a poll on who watches more porn, single or men in a relationship. Married men don't count..

flutterflye

ardinn wrote: »

Look sometimes you just want to rub one out - its no reflection on you, so get over it!

Ah yeah, the odd time's grand sure.
I'm more talking of a regular kinda thing.
Anyway, what do you mean get over it?!
I'm not in a relationship with you, so you don't need to worry your little head

jill_valentine

flutterflye wrote: »

you don't need to worry your little head

Jaysus, I hope this was intentional.

Resi12

Why was she even snooping in the first place? Seriously I would leave, what a nutjob..

If she has anything like Sex & The City on DVD you should throw them against the wall leaving! :pac:

flutterflye

jill_valentine wrote: »

Jaysus, I hope this was intentional.

Note the

tallaghtmick

willmunny1990 wrote: »

milfs came up on the history now she thinks in after older women!she seems to think its just as bad as cheating which i cant understand i did ask her to watch it with me but she finds porn "sick"

Sillyness right there.....I tell everyone im into milfs:pac:

Donald Draper

up for anything wrote: »

Read your post back to yourself and see what you sound like! :mad:

As my father would say, you are neither big nor clever. :rolleyes:

I am quite big and pretty clever.