Boo to the bad boards members!

Fingalpeanut

New to boards.ie and only just recently stared my first thread. Just a little ditty I put out there, asking a bit of advice to other mums and dads. A lighthearted thread, nothing too deep or profound.. and got some really helpful feedback which was appreciated. I was happy to hear from those who had something to say that was of the same tone and from the like minded everyday people. I was a little apprehensive about joining at first because it was enevidable that I get the odd response that wasn't to my taste but I thought, why not, it is a public forum and that's why I'm asking the question in the first place. Posted my thread and not long did I have to wait before the good people of the world started rolling in the replies with their helpful insights and past experiences which I was only too grateful to hear........ and then there were the others!!

I can't say I was totally surprised but a little taken aback when some of the responses were just down right miserable. Got me thinking. Do we really have to take the "Victor Meldrew" road when replying to a lighthearted thread. I knew I'd run the risk of hearing the thoughts and opinions of idiots but that could be an any day occurrence anywhere. Not sure why or who would take the time out of their day to read a post/thread that didn't really "float your boat" and would post a reply just to be a nasty bitch/dick! And of course I took the bate, I was immediately peeved and got defencive - but purely for the fact that they were making a comment which was connected to my family and how we choose to live and I reverted with the bitchy replies and lowered myself into their miserable way of conversing with others. Needless to say I deleted my posts because I just felt dirty.

I'm sure as fellow "posters" that you have experienced these replies to your posts. Brought into a tit for tat spat because a statement was made the provoked u to strike back. It wasn't a hard hitting debate which was open to a vast array of different opinions of national interest, just a little parental advice, so why the negative and harsh response. I can only visualise these types of people and the curtain twitchers of this world. Sit in their car outside the shop and mumble to themselves in disgust as they comment of the passers by and probably even find themselves humorous at the same time. Those who have a begrudging opinion on everything and get some sort of self worth from spreading their misery to all those around them. and whats worse is that they probably have nobody in there lives left that will listen to them so they have to resort to joining a forum where they force there miserable opinions on others. its a little sad really and we can I suppose, only feel pity for them.

I would like to think that if they new my circumstances they wouldn't make such broad statements and just stick to the topic presented, there wouldn't be ill feelings towards them and they'd have allot more to the lives. We wouldn't get aggravated by there replies and there wouldn't be the typical on-line bitching I've read on some of their other posts.

rant over..my god I can go on when I want too! but I would like to think I'm not deterred from putting things "out there" for the fear of idiots sticking the boot in just for the sake of it... so here's to positive, productive and generally decent board'ies and boo to the bad board members

PS where is the spell check!

Buford T Justice

Welcome to the internet!

Come on now, in fairness you posted asking a for peoples opinions on going to Disneyland with kids, and you got upset when you didn't like what they had to say?

tbh, there's nothing on that thread that than you would expect. You ask for an opinion and you always get positives and negatives. If you don't like what someone is saying, either ignore it or report the post.

randylonghorn

Fingalpeanut wrote: »

I was happy to hear from those who had something to say that was of the same tone and from the like minded everyday people.

This is the thing ... there is no guarantee that when you post on a public site every response will be from people who think as you do or agree with you.

Fingalpeanut wrote: »

I knew I'd run the risk of hearing the thoughts and opinions of idiots but that could be an any day occurrence anywhere. Not sure why or who would take the time out of their day to read a post/thread that didn't really "float your boat" and would post a reply just to be a nasty bitch/dick!

Tbh, I think it is you who are being unnecessarily harsh.

Posters telling you that in their opinion it's pointless bringing a toddler to Disneyworld as they won't really appreciate it at that age, or indeed remember it with any clarity, is hardly being an idiot / bitch / dick.

You may not agree, that's your prerogative ... they don't agree with you, that's theirs. I'm not seeing much that registers on my idiocy / bitchiness / dickery sensors though. In fairness, Travel isn't a forum which normally suffers from much of that problem.

Fingalpeanut

Totally appreciate what u guys are saying really do agree to an extent. I didnt expect everyone to agree that bringing a toddler to disney was the best idea but to be fair to me, thats not what the thread was about. Just asking a little advice about bringing them. No need to take a negative approach and go off on a rant about its not fiar on the child etc. As i said they dont know why I decided to travel in the first place and assumed I was doing it for some sort of self gratification and not for the child involved.. my son has special needs and wanted to make the best of the situation and make the whole experience as enjoyable as possible. Wasnt looking for a debate ... just a little advice from those who had travelled previously... is that too much to ask for ? Maybe I just a little sensitive. Cheers x

biko

Maybe then post in Parenting?
Asking other parents may yield different answers than asking people in general, people that might not have kids.

It takes a while to "get" boards and not all responses you get will be what you want to hear.

LoLth

while it would be nice to post something in a public forum and get only on topic responses that support your satement would be nice it is not a realistic expectation. Not just on boards.ie or any other internet forum (apart from maybe a dedicated fansite where you post something good about the subject) but also in the real world.

think of boards like a buidling with lots of rooms. You essentially walked into a room and said out loud "I'm thinking of doing X. what do you think?". Almost guaranteed that you will get mixed responses, no matter what "x" is. This happens as i said in real life and once you put a sense of anonymity between those giving the advice and those receiving it you are more likely to get extremes in the set of responses.

As you say, perhaps you were being a bit over sensitive (and its good that you came to that conclusion yourself). That doesnt mean you ever have to put up with abuse or insults - report those please and we'll deal with them! - but you do have to develope a self filtering system that lets you pick the useful responses from a thread, ignore the obvious troll/muppetry and, if that doesnt leave you much then take into account that maybe, just maybe, there is some nugget of truth in the responses that dont agree with you and that maybe those opinions should be considered before making a final decision.

welcome to boards by the way. I hope you enjoy your stay here and I can only advise that you be willing to read all responses whether you agree with them or not and be prepared for answers to questions to go far far beyond the scope of the question asked (once you open the thread, its the mods who decide if its still relevant, not the original poster).

P. Breathnach

When I participate in online discussion on Boards or other forums, I bear in mind that is a public discussion, not a private conversation with the OP. What I have to say might be of little or no interest to the OP, but might be helpful to others who read the thread looking for information, ideas, or opinions about the topic under discussion.

So when OP said what she was thinking of doing, it's fair game to suggest that it might be a bad idea. It might not change her plans, but it might cause others to have second thoughts about doing the same thing.

4zn76tysfajdxp

A 600 word post giving out because someone disagrees with you in a discussion forum. Coming in here and expecting people to back her up too, like we're all gonna rally behind the poor OP in favour of banishing the "bad" posters. Jesus Christ. TBH, it looks like this isn't the site for you, OP.

mikedragon32

I closed the thread in question and when I was looking at previous posts saw this, so figured I'd add my tuppence.

In some of the specialised forums where a specific topic is dealt with, it often happens that folks will give an opinion rather than advice, but that happens in real life too. I'm sure if you asked some family members what you asked on boards, at least one will say "are you mad bringing an infant to Disneyland?" This place is just the same.

Would you respond to that question from a relative the way you did here? I sincerely doubt it. Just ignore the opinions and read the advice. Entering into a debate only attracts more people with opinions and actually puts people off offering advice if you come across as petty.

TheZohanS

Bruno Mammoth Selenium wrote: »

A 600 word post giving out because someone disagrees with you in a discussion forum. Coming in here and expecting people to back her up too, like we're all gonna rally behind the poor OP in favour of banishing the "bad" posters. Jesus Christ. TBH, it looks like this isn't the site for you, OP.

Perhaps he merely posted in the wrong forum Bruno Mammoth Selenium. That thread would have been handled more delicately in After Hours.

OP in future if you'd like to discuss things with more agreeable folk, the kind that like fine wine, Belgian chocolates and the aroma and taste of a good brandy I would suggest you go here.

Less riff-raff you see.

Daemos

Bruno Mammoth Selenium wrote: »

A 600 word post giving out because someone disagrees with you in a discussion forum. Coming in here and expecting people to back her up too, like we're all gonna rally behind the poor OP in favour of banishing the "bad" posters. Jesus Christ. TBH, it looks like this isn't the site for you, OP.

TheZohan wrote: »

Perhaps he merely posted in the wrong forum Bruno Mammoth Selenium. That thread would have been handled more delicately in After Hours.

OP in future if you'd like to discuss things with more agreeable folk, the kind that like fine wine, Belgian chocolates and the aroma and taste of a good brandy I would suggest you go here.

Less riff-raff you see.

Or, perhaps you could have a bit of cop on and have a bit more respect for a new user that doesn't know their way around the site yet. It's a pet peeve of mine that some experienced users occasionally pick on newbies when they do something wrong. You were a newbie once as well, in case you forgot.

I'm not saying the OP was right to complain, but to be so condescending to someone who is still familiarising themselves with the site and how it works isn't on in my book.

TheZohanS

Daemos wrote: »

Or, perhaps you could have a bit of cop on and have a bit more respect for a new user that doesn't know their way around the site yet. It's a pet peeve of mine that some experienced users occasionally pick on newbies when they do something wrong. You were a newbie once as well, in case you forgot.

I'm not saying the OP was right to complain, but to be so condescending to someone who is still familiarising themselves with the site and how it works isn't on in my book.

He's a new poster, not a new person. He's attitude would get him a slap in the mouth in real life. You don't go around calling people that are trying to help you dicks and bitches, unless you're a pimp.

Doirtybirdy

mikedragon32 wrote: »

I closed the thread in question and when I was looking at previous posts saw this, so figured I'd add my tuppence.

In some of the specialised forums where a specific topic is dealt with, it often happens that folks will give an opinion rather than advice, but that happens in real life too. I'm sure if you asked some family members what you asked on boards, at least one will say "are you mad bringing an infant to Disneyland?" This place is just the same.

Would you respond to that question from a relative the way you did here? I sincerely doubt it. Just ignore the opinions and read the advice. Entering into a debate only attracts more people with opinions and actually puts people off offering advice if you come across as petty.

But an opinion is advice,look at the personal issues forum,it's all opinions and all of those opinions are advice!

I get the feeling that it's the parents themselves and especially the mammy in this case that want to go to disneyland.
It's a holiday for them the big kids lol

A toddler as you know yourself won't have a clue whats going on.
I doubt the mammy in question doesn't know that, now that it's been pointed out to her.

She just didn't realise that subconsciously the real reason for choosing disneyland is because either she or her hubby have always wanted to go there.
I'm right fingalpeanut aren't I!

Giving out about people legitimately pointing that out here is just silly.
Most people would probably be thinking the same in real life they just wouldn't say it as often as you'd see it wrote here in the web.

fingal peanut,Enjoy your holiday

Daemos

TheZohan wrote: »

He's a new poster, not a new person. He's attitude would get him a slap in the mouth in real life. You don't go around calling people that are trying to help you dicks and bitches, unless you're a pimp.

He [or I'm going to say 'he' anyway, apologies if it isn't ] admitted he over-reacted to what he - yes, incorrectlly - perceived as hostility. And in that circumstance, you respond to hostility with hostility. Like I said, he just needs a better understanding of how the forum works. Give him time.

mikedragon32

Doirtybirdy wrote: »

But an opinion is advice,look at the personal issues forum,it's all opinions and all of those opinions are advice!

I get the feeling that it's the parents themselves and especially the mammy in this case that want to go to disneyland.
It's a holiday for them the big kids lol

A toddler as you know yourself won't have a clue whats going on.
I doubt the mammy in question doesn't know that, now that it's been pointed out to her.

She just didn't realise that subconsciously the real reason for choosing disneyland is because either she or her hubby have always wanted to go there.
I'm right fingalpeanut aren't I!

Giving out about people legitimately pointing that out here is just silly.
Most people would probably be thinking the same in real life they just wouldn't say it as often as you'd see it wrote here in the web.

fingal peanut,Enjoy your holiday

I'm not giving out, merely advising the OP that she can ignore opinion.

Hell, I'm as guilty as anyone for giving an opinion instead of advice. In the travel forum sometimes all folks want is a simple yes/no and instead we get all preachy. In these cases opinions aren't advice, but I know where you're coming from.

FWIW, when I've had questions about travelling with infants, I've used the Parenting forum on the basis that I'm more likely to get an informed response from someone who has done what I'm looking to do.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Daemos wrote: »

Or, perhaps you could have a bit of cop on and have a bit more respect for a new user that doesn't know their way around the site yet. It's a pet peeve of mine that some experienced users occasionally pick on newbies when they do something wrong. You were a newbie once as well, in case you forgot.

I'm not saying the OP was right to complain, but to be so condescending to someone who is still familiarising themselves with the site and how it works isn't on in my book.

Nonsense. This isn't about picking on a new user for making a common new user's mistake. It's not like he/she posted in Help Desk about replacing a tea pot. The OP came here and posted unimaginatively rude and abusive comments about other users purely becuase they disagreed with him/her. You don't need to be long-term user of the site to show some manners.

28064212

Bruno Mammoth Selenium wrote: »

Nonsense. This isn't about picking on a new user for making a common new user's mistake. It's not like he/she posted in Help Desk about replacing a tea pot. The OP came here and posted unimaginatively rude and abusive comments about other users purely becuase they disagreed with him/her. You don't need to be long-term user of the site to show some manners.

I thought they were quite imaginative myself.... :pac:

4zn76tysfajdxp

28064212 wrote: »

I thought they were quite imaginative myself.... :pac:

TheZohan

TheZohan wrote: »

He's attitude would get him a slap in the mouth in real life.

That attitude would get you in court on assault & battery charges.

Quazzie

Bruno Mammoth Selenium wrote: »

Nonsense. This isn't about picking on a new user for making a common new user's mistake. It's not like he/she posted in Help Desk about replacing a tea pot. The OP came here and posted unimaginatively rude and abusive comments about other users purely becuase they disagreed with him/her. You don't need to be long-term user of the site to show some manners.

Maybe being a long term user of the site takes some of the manners off you, because to be honest you haven't exactly been portrayed too favourably in this thread yourself.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Quazzie wrote: »

Maybe being a long term user of the site takes some of the manners off you, because to be honest you haven't exactly been portrayed too favourably in this thread yourself.

Well maybe the OP and I can attend a manners seminar.

Kinetic^