Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

School Bullying

Options
2»

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    AndyInDHaws
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭AndyInDHaws


    RustyNut wrote: »
    I think the best outcome for your son might come from a change of school. If you are getting no support from the school because the "nice" kids are involved it might be best to cut your losses and go for a fresh start if this is possible and insist on support from the school in facilitating the move. The bully's have their target and it can take a lot to deflect them even with school support.

    I really hope this works out well and soon for you and your family.

    I agree, if nothing really changed and you had already complained to all the right people then there is nothing you can do. The main priority here is ensuring the welfare of your kid. Take him to a another school where bullying is not tolerated.

    Good luck to you :)


  • Options
    #33
    challengemaster
    Registered Users Posts: 16,930 ✭✭✭✭challengemaster


    Gardaí and while you're at it, get your solicitor to send a letter warning them that you will be taking them to court if it continues for assault, harassment, destruction of property, slander, and whatever else you can come up with.

    The parents will soon sort it out I'd bet.

    Oh, and make sure to make a formal statement with the gardaí so it goes down on file


  • Options
    #34
    gypsy_rose
    Registered Users Posts: 453 ✭✭gypsy_rose


    I got bullied at school too, and the only solution I can think of is to try to move him to another school further away, but as well to get him involved in a local club, maybe one which will have kids from his new school in it so he can get to know them before he switches school, that way he could have friends when he starts and won't stand out so much if he's kind of nervous to the bullys. The boxing is a great idea because it'll give him more confidence and keep his mind off it, a good hard workout will leave him feeling less anxious too. Could also be a good idea to try and get him to focus on his school work more or maybe join an art or music class so he can have something else to focus on, you can't change your body language, just other things which give you confidence and then the rest follows. Good luck to him


  • Options
    #35
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    gypsy_rose wrote: »
    I got bullied at school too, and the only solution I can think of is to try to move him to another school further away

    Absolutely not. No way.

    1. It doesn't solve the problem.
    2. The bullies win.
    3. It teaches the child to run away from problems.
    4. The child will lose contact with any existing school friends.


  • Options
    #36
    ja_2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭ja_2012


    Hi
    My son is 12 and going through the same thing. His biggest problem is that he is not aggressive...I dont condone violence but in this situation i wish he would just give these guys a belt.
    His main problem is that we moved from Cork to Dublin Last year as a result of job opportunities.
    So he is in a class where he doesn’t really have any real friends as we are only here a year.
    I can see him changing and getting lonely and sad about it, it really upsets me.
    I told my husband this morning that we will have to go back to Cork to where he feels happy. It means both of us reducing our income dramatically but to be honest I just don’t care anymore.
    My husband has agreed to this as he can not bear to look at this anymore it is upsetting the whole family.
    I feel like I am teaching him to run away from the problem rauther that to deal with this . He will have problems like this also in cork Im sure , everyone meets bullies from time to time .
    Really dont know what to do ..


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    ja_2012 wrote: »
    Hi
    My son is 12 and going through the same thing. His biggest problem is that he is not aggressive...I dont condone violence but in this situation i wish he would just give these guys a belt.
    His main problem is that we moved from Cork to Dublin Last year as a result of job opportunities.
    So he is in a class where he doesn’t really have any real friends as we are only here a year.
    I can see him changing and getting lonely and sad about it, it really upsets me.
    I told my husband this morning that we will have to go back to Cork to where he feels happy. It means both of us reducing our income dramatically but to be honest I just don’t care anymore.
    My husband has agreed to this as he can not bear to look at this anymore it is upsetting the whole family.
    I feel like I am teaching him to run away from the problem rauther that to deal with this . He will have problems like this also in cork Im sure , everyone meets bullies from time to time .
    Really dont know what to do ..

    I'd suggest trying to organise a few weekend events that your son could invite other boys from school to. Create the opportunity for him to make more friends. And it could certainly improve his popularity.

    There's a cost involved of course, but it would be better than taking drastic pay cuts for yourself and your husband.


  • Options
    #38
    Daisy M
    Registered Users Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭Daisy M


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    Absolutely not. No way.

    1. It doesn't solve the problem.
    2. The bullies win.
    3. It teaches the child to run away from problems.
    4. The child will lose contact with any existing school friends.


    I really don't agree, if the school was dealing with this and making headway then yes I would consider leaving them in the school, but under these circumstances no way would I leave them there. The op stated in a thread last april that her son is now never happy and has changed from a happy go lucky lad into someone who looks forward to nothing. Why should the weight of addressing bullies be on his shoulders, why should the onus be on him to change to be able to standup for himself? He is entitled to go to school and not be picked on and is been let down by the system hugely.

    I have a 15 year old and if he was in this circumstances for such a continued period of time I would remove him from the school even if it meant his education was put on hold temporarily. Life is for living and enjoying and while receiving an education is important it is not more important than happiness/

    Also by this stage the bullies and their parents would be dealing with me.


  • Options
    #39
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Daisy M wrote: »
    I really don't agree, if the school was dealing with this and making headway then yes I would consider leaving them in the school, but under these circumstances no way would I leave them there. The op stated in a thread last april that her son is now never happy and has changed from a happy go lucky lad into someone who looks forward to nothing. Why should the weight of addressing bullies be on his shoulders, why should the onus be on him to change to be able to standup for himself? He is entitled to go to school and not be picked on and is been let down by the system hugely.

    I have a 15 year old and if he was in this circumstances for such a continued period of time I would remove him from the school even if it meant his education was put on hold temporarily. Life is for living and enjoying and while receiving an education is important it is not more important than happiness/

    Also by this stage the bullies and their parents would be dealing with me.

    He will face many bullies in his life. Best to learn how to deal with them now than spend a lifetime running away and ending up with permanently destroyed self esteem.


  • Options
    #40
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Crazy Rabit ,
    We have decided to give it a go till christmas .
    I have friends over every weekend two in particular .
    I took them to the cinema on Sunday and all was good .
    Will have to put a brave face on it till then and reassess .In the mean time all I can do is be there for him and support him to learning how to deal with these guys .
    Thanks again


  • Options
    #41
    Daisy M
    Registered Users Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭Daisy M


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    He will face many bullies in his life. Best to learn how to deal with them now than spend a lifetime running away and ending up with permanently destroyed self esteem.


    Of course he will everyone does but this is an extreme type of bullying, the op mentioned in the last thread that the bullies had even made accusations that her husband had sexually abused someone. The child is reacting badly and it would be crazy to leave him in that situation if there is no possibility of an immediate solution.

    You have to know when to pick your fights and know when to walk away this too is a valuable lesson.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement