Would you care if your friend told you they used escorts/prositutes

DEFTLEFTHAND

Nope not at all, to each and their own and all that.

Greentopia

evry1sm8 wrote: »

Well some of the girls that post on this forum seem to have pretty low standards as well, and sometimes not much of a clue when it comes to respecting themselves IMO...

And what in your opinion constitutes 'low standards' or not 'respecting themselves'? I'd like to know as a female poster on this forum if I'm going to be lumped into these categories so I can defend myself.

evry1sm8 wrote: »

Ive seen posts from girls on here about how they are in open relationships with their boyfriends / partners, having no strings sex with other men...

Ah yes, I thought it might have something to do with your view on other women and their sexual mores. Am I to deduce from what you wrote that you believe that women who partake in such activities as you describe are somehow morally deficient 'loose women' or slappers? Do feel free to correct me but that's the impression that statement gives to me anyway.
It seems like you're placing a value judgement on people who indulge in such activities.

BTW I'm generally monogamous but I have had an open relationship in the past as well as no strings sex (safe and consensual) with men on occasion. Does this colour your opinion of me as a woman in some way, and if so how?
Does it mean I'm then someone with "low standards" and little self-respec,t in your opinion, even though I know my experiences haven't negatively affected me and I'm someone who's generally confident with good self-esteem, and has high standards for myself and from a life partner?

evry1sm8 wrote: »

As far as my opinion goes, they should have more respect for themselves, they are not animals- they are human women!!! And they have partners!!!
I think it makes them cheap.
If they are happy with being cheap themselves, then its no surprise they feel the same about other women and their value.

Why do you think that if a person believes that having sex with someone who is not being co-erced into having sex (so leaving aside women who are forced/trafficked into prostitution but who is doing it as a job) that makes either party cheap?
What do you mean by cheap?

I agree with what some others here have said-I believe if prostitution is fully legal safe and regulated and the prostitutes pay taxes and get regular health checks and have a genuine economic choice in the job they do and are not being coerced into it or taken advantage of or exploited by anyone then I don't see the problem.
And I'm not even a Libertarian like some others here but a bleeding heart leftie :pac:

I don't imagine it's a job that any woman would do for many years (unless they loved having paid sex with lots of people) and I'd say the burn out rate is quite high, but hell I don't see it as being any worse than working in some crappy tedious office job as a wage slave for years with perhaps bosses or co-workers you hate and where you end up feeling undervalued, stressed or just bored to death.
At least the pay is (usually) better as a call girl/escort!

If I didn't personally find the idea of the act of having lots of sex with different strange men every night unattractive I'd have no moral qualms in doing it. It's just not a job I'd want to do for that reason. Same way there are lots of other jobs I don't find suitable for other reasons.
I certainly wouldn't have a problem with getting paid for it. Why not if a guy was prepared to pay me what I was asking?

I know for lots of women, though FAR from all- sex not just a physical act, it's bound up with intimacy and emotions, so perhaps your feelings on prostitution are informed by that?
I know for men sex can be just a purely physical act, a release, with no emotions necessecarily involved so I think perhaps that's why most men can see visiting a prostitute as just a service they pay for.
No harm in that I think. It's just our different make-up that makes us view sex sometimes differently.

And of course it's not always the case that women want an emotional aspect to sex, as I've said I've had (as do many women) one night stands where I haven't wanted anything other than no strings attached fun.
That's all. No-one got hurt, no-one felt 'cheapened' or used and we both went on our merry way afterwards, no problem.

I don't know why anyone who's not smallmindedly moralistic or puritanical, prudish or judgemental would see a problem with what I've done.

Bipolar Joe

Greentopia wrote: »

Long post.

Let's get married.

Nulty

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Oh you've completely unlocked dna now have you?

Piss off I'm quite happy ****ing as many girls as i can.

ha
haha I'm quite happy i can seriously many girls something to do with your view o

don ramo

buddy of mine admited to it one night drunk, and then admitted to going with another one of my buddys, fair enough to each there own,

then he asked me if i wanted to go get one as he was broke and couldnt afford one, told him id wait but i wasnt getting one, he had no cash so we went home,

Bipolar Joe

Nulty wrote: »

ha
haha I'm quite happy i can seriously many girls something to do with your view o

I think Nulty's drunk.

Greentopia

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Let's get married.

My, that's very sudden. This is a very big commitment Joe so I'll have to ask you a few questions forst. I won't marry just anyone ya know :pac:
Do you have all your own teeth? a few acres with good road frontage? are you an older gentleman? any heart conditions? answer yes to all of them and this might be your lucky day Joe

Bipolar Joe

Greentopia wrote: »

My, that's very sudden. This is a very big commitment Joe so I'll have to ask you a few questions forst. I won't marry just anyone ya know :pac:
Do you have all your own teeth? a few acres with good road frontage? are you an older gentleman? any heart conditions? answer yes to all of them and this might be your lucky day Joe

Had a couple teeth knocked outta me.
I have a front yard.
I have a heart murmur.

Score :cool: :cool: .

Jesus Wept

bagsy best man.

Bipolar Joe

The-Rigger wrote: »

bagsy best man.

I expect the stag night to have a steady supply of hookers.

Jesus Wept

Proper trafficked ones too, none that are there on their own will or dime.

Bipolar Joe

The-Rigger wrote: »

Proper trafficked ones too, none that are there on their own will or dime.

Eugh, the thought of women being happy when I have sex with them is a right turn off. Hasn't happened yet, so fingers crossed!

Greentopia

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Had a couple teeth knocked outta me.
I have a front yard.
I have a heart murmur.

Score :cool: :cool: .

Good man, close enough. I'll be wanting a big wedding now so PM me with the details. It can be like an arranged marriage where we only see each other on the day :pac:
And don't worry, there'll be no need for hookers when we're married Joe wink wink

Bipolar Joe

Jesus, are ya gonna castrate me?

Greentopia

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I expect the stag night to have a steady supply of hookers.

Weddings off :mad:

:P

Bipolar Joe

Greentopia wrote: »

Weddings off :mad:

:P

Welp, that answers that!

Jesus Wept

Dodged a bullet Joe.

Bipolar Joe

She'll never have my yard, now!

Jesus Wept

Plenty more women in the sea. You can do better imo.

Greentopia

Sigh, it's true...all the good ones are taken. Destined to be forever alone I guess
Ah well, maybe tomorrow I'll find Mr. Right, who knows.

Anyone else wants to marry me while I'm here? I'm open to offers. Joe is not coming to the wedding though :mad: he's had his chance.
And there'll be no hookers either :mad:

I'm a good catch, don't break (many) mirrors, can foal a calf and I go like a steam train. What's not to like :cool:

Jesus Wept

Are you strong on plow?

Greentopia

The-Rigger wrote: »

Are you strong on plow?

Am to be sure.
Do you have road frontage? just askin like. *whistles innocently*

Min

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

So, what you are saying, is that, if I come to an arrangement to provide services to a businesswoman, a widow, a disabled woman and earn €150 p/h for providing this service, and hopefully giving someone some pleasure I should find this demeaning, but if I am forced to clean your toilet for €8 p/h, because you're above doing it yourself, and live like a slave, I shouldn't find this demeaning in the slightest.

You also think these women should be targetted.

You have a strange value system. But, then again, I suppose what is one to expect from someone who deplores human trafficing but steadfastly defends the hierarchy that ran the Magdalene laundries and the industrial schools.

I did not say that.

A toilet cleaner is not selling their body and dignity, it is an honest job and it is not my problem if you look down on toilet cleaners.

I said the user should be targetted, not the prostitute.

You are the one who are judging toilet cleaners and then you think I have a strange value system.
I have said nothing against the prostitutes, it is the user who is the problem as there would be no prostitutes if their was no demand.

I heard on the radio and read here too that a Swedish type system might be introduced here so the user is the one who is causing the offense not the prostitute.
I believe if you are caught a number of times using prostitutes your name would be in the public domain.

Turpentine

Min wrote: »

I said the user should be targetted, not the prostitute...

...I have said nothing against the prostitutes, it is the user who is the problem as there would be no prostitutes if their was no demand.

How do you propose eradication of demand? Castration of all males once they hit puberty? It's absolutely the only way you'd ever get rid of demand.

"The Oldest Profession" isn't just a meaningless nickname you know.

Min

Turpentine wrote: »

How do you propose eradication of demand? Castration of all males once they hit puberty? It's absolutely the only way you'd ever get rid of demand.

"The Oldest Profession" isn't just a meaningless nickname you know.

Criminalise the user not the prostitute, reduce the demand, reduced demand means less people involved in prostitution.

At present the user does not fear any consequences, if the Swedish model is introduced here then users of prostitutes could end being named and shamed, I suspect a lot of users would want to avoid that.

Lord TSC

And you might say a prostitute wants to have the sex they have too, but they dont. They want the money.

See, I think this is the crux of the debate. Its having one set of standards for men and another for women.

Yeah, you can argue that the prostitute doesn't want sex but just the money that comes with it. But then you can also argue that the man doesn't want sex but the physical feeling & gratification which comes with it.

Again I say that a relationship, especially a sexual one, is a series of checks and balances; the man wants one thing, the woman wants another, and both are achieved through the same means (sex). If two consenting adults can reach an agreement over what they want from the encounter, then that's their business. If both want to "feel loved", if one wants instant gratification, if one wants money, if one or both want kids, then that's their perogative. Provided both are aware of what the individual wants and expects out of the encounter, it's not up to any other third party to inflict morals on their meeting.

You argue that it's demeaning or degrading but thats you individual view and one which many may find outdated in this day and age. But its up to each person individually to make that decision for themselves. Worse, I think it's attitudes like that, where we are saying how horrible it is for people to be involved on either side of prostitution, that keeps a genuine and healthy debate from occuring, and in the process, the industry is kept in a dark corner where the real danger lurks.

Nulty

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I think Nulty's drunk.

Theres a big difference between drunk and wrong though

howamidifferent

soterpisc wrote: »

Men who have to pay for Sex are not real men.
If you can't get a woman to love you for who you are then its a pathetic reflection on you.

Love and sex are not the same thing! :rolleyes::rolleyes:

howamidifferent

evry1sm8 wrote: »

Well said. I 100% agree!

The women might not necessarily be forced into prostitution against their will, but I guarantee its not something they really enjoy or want to be doing, but do so as a means to an end.
And I'm sure that over time doing this, it will wear them down emotionally and mentally, and any one "using" them is contributing to that hurt that will build up in them.

That can be said of any job that many men do daily for years on end....
Its a means to and end to pay to support a family. Doesnt mean they like it.

Mickeroo

Min wrote: »

Criminalise the user not the prostitute, reduce the demand, reduced demand means less people involved in prostitution.

At present the user does not fear any consequences, if the Swedish model is introduced here then users of prostitutes could end being named and shamed, I suspect a lot of users would want to avoid that.

Since when did criminalisation reduce the demand for anything?

rossie1977

Min wrote: »

At present the user does not fear any consequences, if the Swedish model is introduced here then users of prostitutes could end being named and shamed, I suspect a lot of users would want to avoid that.

the swedish model has achieved nothing of note except driving the whole thing further underground, in sweden now even if you are accused of having been with a prostitute (without a shred of evidence) you can as a male, lose your job, apartment or children, excellent research paper written on the topic the demand has not been quelled either,most users compared the model to speeding in a car http://www.chezstella.org/docs/etude-suede-2011.pdf

evry1sm8

Mickeroo wrote: »

Not really,we're designed to find a mate or two and propogate our genes

Evolution is a much slower process that's only observable over thousands maybe millions of years.

I agree with that!
I didnt say how long evolution took, just that its part of what makes us human.

Mickeroo

evry1sm8 wrote: »

I agree with that!
I didnt say how long evolution took, just that its part of what makes us human.

That's a very strange thing to say in this context. That we evolved is pretty much the least unique thing there is about us.

evry1sm8

Icyseanfitz wrote: »

you do realize that humans are animals right? animals like to have sex for the sake of having sex

Yes I know that.
But we are highly evolved and intelligent in ways that no other animal is.
We have a conscience, we have speech, we are aware of our own mortality...
Basically there is a big jump between us and other animals.

evry1sm8

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

Yup.
If they were in a relationship (as many people who use escorts are) then I would be disgusted by the disregard they're showing for their partner's feelings and sexual health.
If they were single, it would still bother me, as it says a lot about someone's attitudes towards sex and towards people, if they're okay with sleeping with someone who's not doing it because they genuinely want to sleep with them.

is it my business? probably not. can I still have an opinion? hell yes.

and this is coming from someone who supports sex workers' rights and thinks it would be unethical if it were illegal.

This is my opinion exactly
Very well put.

Raze_them_all

evry1sm8 wrote: »

Yes I know that.
But we are highly evolved and intelligent in ways that no other animal is.
We have a conscience, we have speech, we are aware of our own mortality...
Basically there is a big jump between us and other animals.

Really? we eat more than we need,breed at to high a rate,prey on others and unlike other animals wipe out entire species. Humans are more of a parasite than an animal

Mickeroo

evry1sm8 wrote: »

This is my opinion exactly
Very well put.

Wait so you think it should be legal now?

Mickeroo

evry1sm8 wrote: »

Yes I know that.
But we are highly evolved and intelligent in ways that no other animal is.
We have a conscience, we have speech, we are aware of our own mortality...
Basically there is a big jump between us and other animals.

We are more highly evolved than other animals but we have no unique characterisitcs that I'm aware of. There's no way of knowing if an animal has or has not got a conciensce or are aware of their own mortality, they'll certainly try and avoid being killed. Animals have language and speech to an extent too, we can even communicate with some other apes using sign language. We are animals.

evry1sm8

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

can you not see that cooking dinner for your brother involves emotions (it stems from your love for him) whereas cooking somebody a meal because your a chef involves no emotions. It is a simple service provided in exchange for money. There is no emotional attachment between provider and client.


The same with prostitution. How can you not grasp this simple concept?

In my post I said "in all cases".
Making food isnt usually an intimate affair.
I do know that cooking a dinner sometimes involves emotions, just not usually the same ones.
Obviously with making food, the person making it usually wants to make it, and the person eating it wants to eat it.
With prostitution a person is allowing their body to be used in a way that has the potential to harm their feelings of self worth.

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

You have decided that sex has to be intimate and has to involve emotions and it simply doesn't. Cooking for somebody can involve far more emotions and intimacy depending on the circumstances.

It doesnt always, but its more healthy when it does. Especially for women.

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Tell me this. Do you think Julia Roberts is being degraded when she lets some bloke feel her ass and tits and snog her in a film because that's what the role entails, or does the amount of money she gets paid make it ok?

No, because the other person involved is also an actor.
Both people are on the same page, and doing what they are doing for the same reasons

Lord TSC

evry1sm8 wrote: »

No, because the other person involved is also an actor.
Both people are on the same page, and doing what they are doing for the same reasons

Question here cause I'm confused now. Is your problem with the person paying the pros or the person who is a pros? Cause you've just said you're ok with the girl getting paid for sex provided the man is as well, and the only part which changes with the prostitute is that the man isn't getting paid but is paying. The woman, who you were attacking earlier and saying is degrading herself etc, is still doing the exact same thing though (getting paid to provided sexual gratification).

EDIT: Also, does this mean you're ok with porn? Afterall, both are actors who are doing what they are doing for the same reasons....

tan11ie

Sungodbr wrote: »

people pay for counselling and pro's are like physical counselors, there is actually very little difference, one physical one non physical, get with it!!

Whatever!!! If that makes you feel good

Greentopia

evry1sm8-I wrote a long post to you in this thread, but perhaps you missed it-#253 would you care to respond?

evry1sm8

Greentopia wrote: »

And what in your opinion constitutes 'low standards' or not 'respecting themselves'? I'd like to know as a female poster on this forum if I'm going to be lumped into these categories so I can defend myself.

Ah yes, I thought it might have something to do with your view on other women and their sexual mores. Am I to deduce from what you wrote that you believe that women who partake in such activities as you describe are somehow morally deficient 'loose women' or slappers? Do feel free to correct me but that's the impression that statement gives to me anyway.
It seems like you're placing a value judgement on people who indulge in such activities.

BTW I'm generally monogamous but I have had an open relationship in the past as well as no strings sex (safe and consensual) with men on occasion. Does this colour your opinion of me as a woman in some way, and if so how?
Does it mean I'm then someone with "low standards" and little self-respec,t in your opinion, even though I know my experiences haven't negatively affected me and I'm someone who's generally confident with good self-esteem, and has high standards for myself and from a life partner?

Why do you think that if a person believes that having sex with someone who is not being co-erced into having sex (so leaving aside women who are forced/trafficked into prostitution but who is doing it as a job) that makes either party cheap?
What do you mean by cheap?

I agree with what some others here have said-I believe if prostitution is fully legal safe and regulated and the prostitutes pay taxes and get regular health checks and have a genuine economic choice in the job they do and are not being coerced into it or taken advantage of or exploited by anyone then I don't see the problem.
And I'm not even a Libertarian like some others here but a bleeding heart leftie :pac:

I don't imagine it's a job that any woman would do for many years (unless they loved having paid sex with lots of people) and I'd say the burn out rate is quite high, but hell I don't see it as being any worse than working in some crappy tedious office job as a wage slave for years with perhaps bosses or co-workers you hate and where you end up feeling undervalued, stressed or just bored to death.
At least the pay is (usually) better as a call girl/escort!

If I didn't personally find the idea of the act of having lots of sex with different strange men every night unattractive I'd have no moral qualms in doing it. It's just not a job I'd want to do for that reason. Same way there are lots of other jobs I don't find suitable for other reasons.
I certainly wouldn't have a problem with getting paid for it. Why not if a guy was prepared to pay me what I was asking?

I know for lots of women, though FAR from all- sex is not just a physical act, it's bound up with intimacy and emotions, so perhaps your feelings on prostitution are informed by that?
I know for men sex can be just a purely physical act, a release, with no emotions necessecarily involved so I think perhaps that's why most men can see visiting a prostitute as just a service they pay for.
No harm in that I think. It's just our different make-up that makes us view sex sometimes differently.

And of course it's not always the case that women want an emotional aspect to sex, as I've said I've had (as do many women) one night stands where I haven't wanted anything other than no strings attached fun.
That's all. No-one got hurt, no-one felt 'cheapened' or used and we both went on our merry way afterwards, no problem.

I don't know why anyone who's not smallmindedly moralistic or puritanical, prudish or judgemental would see a problem with what I've done.

Re: the highlighted parts.
As for the first one, my personal opinion is yes, I do think that women who already have partners but still go off and have meaningless sex with a string of other guys are behaving like slappers.

What I mean by cheap is allowing your body to be used as a pleasure tool for someone else, when you are not taking pleasure from the act yourself. I see it as selling yourself short.

The problem I see is over time the consistent acts affecting the womans sense of self worth. And the worth of their body.

Exactly. I would imagine that over time it would wear any woman down emotionally, is this not your reasoning?

Explain why you dont find the idea attractive... Im sure it will back up some of what ive said.

I would have a problem getting paid for it!!! Turning sex into a financial transaction makes it cheap, IMO. Sex and money are not equal as far as im concerned. Money is materialistic. My body is worth more than that.

Exactly, I think there can be a difference between what sex means to a woman, and to a man, therefore I do feel concerned for women that have lots of no strings sex with strangers, its not something that typically fulfills us.

Yes, on your 1-night stands this is what you wanted, and its also what the other participant wanted. This is not the same with a prostitute, they are not (at least I assume) always looking for the same "fun". I assume you chose your guy for the 1 night stand. They dont chose who they have sex with. Im sure its not always fun for them, or enjoyable.

Turpentine

evry1sm8 wrote: »

Yes I know that.
But we are highly evolved and intelligent in ways that no other animal is.
We have a conscience, we have speech, we are aware of our own mortality...
Basically there is a big jump between us and other animals.

Have a read of this Cracked article "6 Things You Won't Believe Animals Do Just Like Us"

Sample Quote:

"While this was going on, one scientist witnessed a male monkey hand a coin to a female monkey. Was this some act of kindness? Maybe a monkey romance was blooming in the midst of the chaos?
Nope, it was prostitution. The female had sex with the male, and then went off to buy some grapes. Capitalism, kids!"

http://www.cracked.com/article_19388_6-things-you-wont-believe-animals-do-just-like-us_p2.html

hatrickpatrick

Wow this thread is depressingly judgemental.
I posted earlier saying I wouldn't judge but I'd be saddened so let me clarify that because I certainly don't look down on loose people, male or female, and I certainly don't think anyone has a right to an opinion on someone else's private sexual relationships.

I just think that part of relationships in general is knowing that someone thinks your fun and attractive. Hence why I bracket things like escorts, prostitution, gold digging, etc all in to the same category of depressing, IE knowing someone isn't with you because they're enjoying it but for pragmatic reasons.

There's nothing remotely pleasant about that IMO. It's the same reason I'd never score a girl to help her get revenge on someone or show off to her friends. If it's not because you're actually attracted to me as a person, it's not going to be fun for either of us, so why bother?

I don't get guys who use prostitutes. Does the fact that you know she doesn't actually fancy you and is just doing it because you paid her not turn you off? I'd find that a gigantic whack in the nuts to the ego myself.

evry1sm8

howamidifferent wrote: »

That can be said of any job that many men do daily for years on end....
Its a means to and end to pay to support a family. Doesnt mean they like it.

But they are not selling their dignity!! Or degrading themselves.

evry1sm8

Mickeroo wrote: »

That's a very strange thing to say in this context. That we evolved is pretty much the least unique thing there is about us.

Read my other post about what makes us unique.

Eric Cartman

evry1sm8 wrote: »

As human beings, we are not designed to be happy or emotionally fulfilled through having meaningless sex with lots and lots of strangers.
Simple as.

works for me , might not be your cup of tea

Mickeroo

evry1sm8 wrote: »

But they are not selling their dignity!! Or degrading themselves.

How do you know? You've a very naive view of the world going by your posts, whats demeaning for one person might not be for another and vise versa.

evry1sm8 wrote: »

Read my other post about what makes us unique.

I think I already responded to it and it's got nothing to do with the post you just responded to.

evry1sm8

Mickeroo wrote: »

We are more highly evolved than other animals but we have no unique characterisitcs that I'm aware of. There's no way of knowing if an animal has or has not got a conciensce or are aware of their own mortality, they'll certainly try and avoid being killed. Animals have language and speech to an extent too, we can even communicate with some other apes using sign language. We are animals.

Watch video 1 through 5.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK6ECiARTvA