Philosophy

ART6

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to getmedicines while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.

Why do we buy hamburgers in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Haven’t they found out by now?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why is it that alcohol makes women look more enticing while limiting one’s ability to do anything about it?

Why are hamburgers made out of beef?

If speed kills, why don’t we all stand still?

Why is it that when the newspapers tell us of a major astronomical event that only happens once every 100 years, the sky is always cloudy?

Why is it that wherever you park your jealously protected new car in a supermarket car park, someone will park a banger hard against the driving side door?

Why is it that in supermarkets women with trolleys regularly hammer into men’s ankles but never, ever, hit another woman?

DeleveleD

Hi there, why don't I answer these questions for you?

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to getmedicines while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Psychological reasons. The walk to the medicine will usually take you past items that are recommended for sick people such as teas, soups, vegetables, fruits and, in case of some larger stores, warm and comfortable blankets.

This is meant to make you buy these items.

Someone who just comes into the store to buy smokes usually won't care about any of the other stuff. So they're sent straight to the till where they will also encounter sweets and newspapers, highly tempting articles for the person on the go.

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Short answer: for the taste.

Long answer: We all learn at some point, that a bottle of coke contains as much as 16 sugar cubes. Now a burger in comparison consists of meat, a bun, sauce and some vegetables. That doesn't seem half as bad, does it? Actually that's pretty much what some recommend as a good meal. So you make the smart choice and cut down on the sugar cubes.

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

To be honest, I've never seen a bank with its vault doors open. Or a bank with a vault for that matter. Modern banks don't carry large sums of money as most of it has been digitized.

The chains are not really supposed to keep the pens safe (even though a large number of lost pens can be quite expensive) but instead to raise your trust in the institution because they keep even such a small item safe.

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.

For ease of access and appearances. If you have a car worth thousands of pounds you want it to be seen. But you don't necessarily want to share all your junk with your neighbours.

Why do we buy hamburgers in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?

To make sure you keep on buying one or the other. After you've finished the buns you still have burgers left. So you buy more buns. But then you still have buns left after the burgers are gone. Continue ad infinitum.

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Because your skin produces a substance called melanin which is used to block sunlight out and protect your skin from burning. Your hair can't produce this substance as it's dead tissue and is given its colour in the root.

As sunlight hits your hair the high energy photons disrupt the molecular bonds in the substance creating the colour, which splits the molecule and makes it lose its colour creating ability.

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

When you open your mouth you stretch the skin on your face. This makes it easier to apply make up as there is a larger surface to work with, as well as no wrinkles.

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Because there are no psychics and the lottery is based on chance.

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Because it comes from the latin root brevis, meaning short, and the suffix a, meaning away. The word was then crudely adapted into english adding the suffix -ated, making it a rather long word.

On the other hand: Why is long such a short word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Haven’t they found out by now?

Because it comes from the greek verb prasso which means "to achieve, bring about, effect, accomplish".

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Because in juice you just want the taste, which is easier produced artificial. For dishwashing liquid you want the acid with it's fat dissolving properties, which is very hard to recreate in a lab.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Because the word stems from the Anglo-Normanic word brocour , meaning small trader.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Because everybody is rushing home. The traffic is a side effect.

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Because the cat wouldn't know the difference. The only one to care would be the human.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Because Noah and his ark are a fictious story.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Because even someone sentenced to death has basic human rights and dignity.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Because it's not a special material, but the way it's constructed. You could construct a plane in the same way but then there would be no space left for passengers or a pilot.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Wool doesn't shrink, it felts. This means that the small scales on the wool fibers hook into each other and make the fibers stick together.

As the wool still on the sheep all points into the same direction, so do the scales and they can't stick together. A woolen shirt, for example, doesn't share this property and the fibers will stick together after being thrown around in a washing mashine.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Because the term designates a large area parted by walls to make up several different living units.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Because that is where the flight ends, e.g. is terminated.

Why is it that alcohol makes women look more enticing while limiting one’s ability to do anything about it?

Because alcohol reduces your inhibitions. The woman in question does not become more attractive, you just lower your standards. And to the second part, also your overall ability to form coherent sentences.

Why are hamburgers made out of beef?

Because the word doesn't come from the root ham. Instead it refers to the origin of the sandwich, which was the German City Hamburg.

If speed kills, why don’t we all stand still?

Because standing for a fully grown human is just as dangerous. You'd have to lie down. This would lead to you either dying from thirst, starvation or degradation of the muscles. Because of this we HAVE to move.

Why is it that when the newspapers tell us of a major astronomical event that only happens once every 100 years, the sky is always cloudy?

You might've missed it, but we're living in Ireland. It's always cloudy here. It's a miracle we're even aware that there is a sun.

Why is it that wherever you park your jealously protected new car in a supermarket car park, someone will park a banger hard against the driving side door?

Probably to piss you off. That guy's just jealous and/or a big asshole.

Why is it that in supermarkets women with trolleys regularly hammer into men’s ankles but never, ever, hit another woman?

Now you could argue that women are easily distracted by the multitude of wares and advertisements around them. However, it's more likely that the men just don't pay enough attention to get out of the way.

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All answers brought to you by common sense, wikipedia.org and google.ie.

The_B_Man

i don't want to go for a pint with you...ever!