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Bedtime help please

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  • 06-09-2011 9:21pm
    #1
    YOMMY
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭


    Our 11 month old has recently started getting hysterical when we put her to bed at night.

    Up until now, we've been extremely luck with her, she has slept for about 14 hours per night right since we brought her home from hospital and has really never cried much at all, even when she was teething.

    Her night time routine has not changed in any way lately. Either my husband or I will give her her bottle, then we both bring her down to her room, put her into her cot, play some gentle lullabies on her ipod, give her her teddy and leave the room. This process has worked perfectly until about a fortnight ago.

    Should we leave her to cry in the hope that she wears herself out & falls asleep? Should we keep going in to her room to soothe her? Or should we let her fall asleep in our arms & then bring her down to bed? At this stage, we've tried all of the above, but just not sure which method is best.

    As first time parents, we haven't a clue what way to approach this & would welcome any advice.


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    #2
    Pugins
    Registered Users Posts: 196 ✭✭Pugins


    It could be teething or it could be seperation anxiety. Alot of children start to do this around that age. There are lots of options to get them back into falling asleep easily, and you just have to choose one that works for you.

    Personally I am not a fan of letting them cry it out or controlled crying. Some people swear by them. I used a variation of shush-pat with my child and it worked for us. Essentially I think you need to give reassurance and be patient. They grow out of it.


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    #3
    foxy06
    Registered Users Posts: 2,138 ✭✭✭foxy06


    I would disagree with the above poster and always found controlled crying the quickest and easiest way to get them into a bedtime routine. In saying that if your baby was in a routine up to now then it is probably teething thats causing the sudden bedtime problem so maybe give it another week before you try the controlled crying. I would suggest keeping her in her room after you have done the usual routine and when she crys go in comfort and leave her for a while and go in again and so on. If you take her out of routine when she is teething you will find it hard to get her back into it so keep to it as much as possible. Hope that helps. Im on my 4th baby now and only had sleep issues with the first and that was before I discovered controlled crying and realised how much kids love routine!


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    #4
    Rasb
    Registered Users Posts: 16 ✭Rasb


    you've done well so far if the routine has worked until until now. Although I hate doing it, the controlled crying does work and she will get over the current crying phase. Bear in mind that whatever approach you take will set a new routine so be prepared to live with it.


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    #5
    qwertytlk
    Registered Users Posts: 747 ✭✭✭qwertytlk


    Sorry i know this isnt my post but was wondering if someone could explain controlled crying? Thanks


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    #6
    Chesty LaRue
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 112 ✭✭Chesty LaRue


    I had terrible trouble with my first regarding bedtime, but he was very sick as a baby and we did all the wrong things....he is 8 now and bedtime is still a chore with him...I couldnt do the controlled crying either as he would get so hysterical he would get sick and end up sobbing in his sleep. Dont think this is a nice peaceful sleep for anyone! However, with my second I have let him cry but he doenst cry for too long, it is more whinging than crying so I leave him be, he eventually goes to sleep. If he wakes during his sleep I rub his back and sssh him back to sleep, this takes literally seconds....I think if a baby is absolutely hysterical then they need to be comforted. She could be teething, at 11mths she could be getting back ones which are bloody sore..maybe a spoonful of Calpol?


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    #7
    foxy06
    Registered Users Posts: 2,138 ✭✭✭foxy06


    qwertytlk wrote: »
    Sorry i know this isnt my post but was wondering if someone could explain controlled crying? Thanks

    Well my version might be different from others but I put them down and they start crying go back in after a few minutes and comfort them put them back down and leave the room keep doing this but I leave it longer each time before I go back in to comfort them.


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    #8
    qwertytlk
    Registered Users Posts: 747 ✭✭✭qwertytlk


    Oh,ok so its basically tryig to get the child to calm themselves in a sense so they dont aways need us to help them stop crying


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    #9
    bp1
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭bp1


    Hi Yommy,
    well done to you both so far! its a hard road to try and fix,my 19 month has gone through different stages of going to bed without a huge two hour kick up. I cant honestly say she has been very good at going to bed from day one,I blame myself for this as i was scared to leave her side incase anything happened.I soon learned it is all a learning curve for us mothers to go through.
    I did the control crying which broke my heart as it upset me greatly,it worked but at what cost,6 weeks later she changed her habbits again,bewteen refusing to eat during the day and then hungry at night,it all changes over and over again,like i said its a learning curve,I have read many books about toddlers all very good but you know your own child and when they need that extra suggle you gonna run to them as you know there crys.
    however in saying all of this,i do have my little monster in a routine at the moment,i have for the last month got her up at 7am,her daytime nap is 12.30 untill 2.30 or if it changes by half and hour,i wont let her sleep later than 3pm.and only a two hour sleep during the day,i then have her getting ready for bed at 6.15pm in the order of a bath,pjs,hair dry and a bottle ,all finshed by 6.40pm.then we go to her room and read stories or play with her toys,and at 6.45pm i start to tell her that in 10mins we are going to bed,6.55pm i bring her to the bathroom and brush her teeth,again explaining all the time what i am doing and what is going to happen next,by 6.58pm she has kissed her toys goodnight and i put her in her sleepy bag give her lots of kisses,switch off the light and leave the room.telling her how much i love her and what a wonderful day we have had.
    i am a month doing this and it took about 4 days for it to work,by now at 7.20pm she is asleep.i have it so well worked out now that she knows whats happening and so do i,there are times when she point blankly will not sleep so i give her extra bottle ,you will find your way with it.
    keep sane,and read up about it.
    all the best
    Tizze hall,book for toddlers
    www.saveoursleep.cpm
    it has worked for me


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