Not allowed time off to attend a funeral

LegacyUser

Hi everyone, i'm just wondering if anyone knows where i stand with this. A funeral of a very close friend is on Sat, i've been told i cannot have the day off to attend this or even to re roster my day in order that i can attend. Its very important to me and i know the family would also be hurt if i did not attend as i'm close to them also. IS there anything that allows you funeral time off or do i just have to accept this? Thanks. Replies asap are appreciated!

Eoin

You've no entitlement to take the day off I'm afraid.

kildare.17hmr

what an arse hole of a boss you have op. Not advising you do this but id tell them im going end of and take the warning or what ever punishment they gave. Cant imagine the boss would have a problem taking a day off for a friends funeral

Oranage2

Just call in sick -

Juicyfruit

Oranage2 wrote: »

Just call in sick -

It'd be a bad idea to call in sick when he's already been refused the day off imo.

McLoughlin

I think you can only recieve a day off if it is immediate family and not distant family or close friends. I had a similar trouble some years back when trying to go to my grandmothers second cousins funeral.

Mr. Presentable

Swap with a colleague. No need for dishonesty.

borderlinemeath

Is there any way you can come to a compromise OP? What time is the funeral? Is there a way to attend work before and after the service? I've done this before rather than taking the entire day I've taken an extended lunch break and worked up the hours in lieu.

opti76

get someone to cover you.. tell the boss your going you have your day covered and you'l deal wit any fall out when you return ..

Mrs OBumble

kildare.17hmr wrote: »

what an arse hole of a boss you have op. Not advising you do this but id tell them im going end of and take the warning or what ever punishment they gave. Cant imagine the boss would have a problem taking a day off for a friends funeral

Without knowing the circumstances of the workplace (who else is away, off sick, has a partner dying, whatever), you cannot tell if this is true or not.

OP, my advice:

Try asking again, being really clear that you're looking a day of your annual leave entitlement, not any kind of special leave.

Beforehand, think through what objections the boss might have, and solve them.

Be prepared to negotiate: think about what you will do for them in return.

If the boss really is an ass, then consider whether it's worth risking the disciplinary that will come if you simply don't show up at work. Maybe it is. Only you can make that call.




Oh ... and are you rostered to work the following day? Could it be that your boss has experience of Irish funeral behaviour, and doesn't want to risk the state you could be in the following day? If so, make sure you cover this issue too. (Sorry, it had to be said.)

catch me if you can

This is an absolute disgrace. my advice is ring the local doctor expalin the situation and ask for a sick cert. ring in sick say your certified and feck them. im still angry reading this.

ScouseMouse

catch me if you can wrote: »

This is an absolute disgrace. my advice is ring the local doctor expalin the situation and ask for a sick cert. ring in sick say your certified and feck them. im still angry reading this.

While I really do sympathise, (spelling?) thats a stupid idea. While it may work, the employer would know Its a scam. They could demand a doctor of their choice to examine you - not to mention the fact they could single you out and make life very difficult. Nobody needs this grief or attention at present.

supremenovice

If that happened to me, Id quit. It sends a message that Im not to be messed with. Then probably name and shame him somehow - like Liveline or something - theyd love to here that type of story.
Theres more to life than an a**hole boss. Id rank a friends funeral way up on the list ahead of it.
I know thats easier said than done, with jobs being hard to find and all, but stand for nothing and youll fall for anything.

Id stress though that is a final option. Perhaps investigate if anyone else has got time off for similar circumstances and use it against him?

Eoin

Sending a message to the company you've resigned from doesn't sound all that productive though.

Sofiztikated

Good grief, there's some terrible advise being bandied your way OP.

First off, don't just not turn up for work, or pull a sickie. You've asked for the day off, it's been refused, pullie a sickie will result in a disciplinary (at least.) I don't know about you, but I'd be doing my best to keep my job. Of course this doesn't mean letting your boss walk over your rights, but in this case, he's not in the wrong.

As JustMary said, go to your boss again, and ask. But be prepared. Make sure you have cover sorted for yourself. If you can't get cover, then that's probably why your boss can't give you the time off.

If that is the case, ask can you have an hour off to attend the service, and return to work afterwards. Not ideal, but possibly your only answer.

Shelflife

some terrible advise being given out here.

for a start we dont know what situation the boss is in, maybe he has no cover at all, maybe he has being told by his wife that if he works sat then she wont be there when he gets home.

Sometimes there is a lot of crap going on in the bosses life that the employees are unaware of.

maybe he is just an ass, and doesnt want the hassle of redoing a roster.

ask again as justmary and sofiz said, try and organise cover, go to the evening part of the funeral make your excuses and call around to the family next week, being honest thats when they will need a friendly face most of all.

dont not turn up, even if there is only minor disciplinary action your card will be well and truely marked for the future.

btw catchme, you shouldnt be able to get a cert over the phone and you shouldnt get a cert unless you are actually sick. its far too easy to get a cert as it is imo.

Oranage2

supremenovice wrote: »

If that happened to me, Id quit. It sends a message that Im not to be messed with. Then probably name and shame him somehow - like Liveline or something - theyd love to here that type of story.
Theres more to life than an a**hole boss. Id rank a friends funeral way up on the list ahead of it.
I know thats easier said than done, with jobs being hard to find and all, but stand for nothing and youll fall for anything.

Id stress though that is a final option. Perhaps investigate if anyone else has got time off for similar circumstances and use it against him?

LOL - I take it you dont have a job!


It looks like you dont have a good relationship with the boss and any cover or taking an hour off will be pointless asking for as there's really no point trying to negotiate with somebody that this un-reasonable -

Call in sick. Show up the next day - boss gives you a bollocking maybe some kind of verbal/written warning and makes you do the crap jobs for a while -

catch me if you can

look we all no doctors give fake sick certs. it happens all the time. person makes up fake excuse like been up all night on the bog they get a cert simple as.
anyway you could tell your doctor your suffering emotional damage from not being allowed attend and get a stress sick cert. it prob wud be the truth anyway. It will be water tight and aside from making ur life difficult they cant fire you.
do not allow urself to be bullied by a crap boss by not going to the funeral.

Eoin

catch me if you can wrote: »

It will be water tight and aside from making ur life difficult they cant fire you.

This doesn't apply in this particular scenario, but in some cases you can actually be let go even if you have completely valid sick certs, let alone a bullshìt one like that.

Also, "stress" is not a valid reason for a sick cert. A lot of employers won't accept it, and aren't obliged to.

Newaglish

catch me if you can wrote: »

look we all no doctors give fake sick certs. it happens all the time. person makes up fake excuse like been up all night on the bog they get a cert simple as.
anyway you could tell your doctor your suffering emotional damage from not being allowed attend and get a stress sick cert. it prob wud be the truth anyway. It will be water tight and aside from making ur life difficult they cant fire you.
do not allow urself to be bullied by a crap boss by not going to the funeral.

Wow, this is insanely bad advice.

A sick cert doesn't protect you from termination, in fact prolonged sickness can be a valid reason for termination.

supremenovice

Oranage2 wrote: »

LOL - I take it you dont have a job!


It looks like you dont have a good relationship with the boss and any cover or taking an hour off will be pointless asking for as there's really no point trying to negotiate with somebody that this un-reasonable -

Call in sick. Show up the next day - boss gives you a bollocking maybe some kind of verbal/written warning and makes you do the crap jobs for a while -

I actually am employed at the moment but if they pulled that stunt with me, Id tell them where to shove it. Id rather join the dole queues or emigrate than work for someone like that.
I think we can all agree here that what the boss/company is doing is disgraceful. Yet, most advice, bar mine, is telling the OP to dodge around it by calling in sick or something. Were all missing the point here.

The point is that this is clearly a company with a flawed work culture.
You must ask yourself, in a situation like this 'do I want to work with a company so far removed from my own beliefs of whats right and wrong?'.
As I said previously, Id say no. Now, where everyone else draws the line between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour from your employer is their business. Theres no right and wrong here (assuming its not against the law, which seems to be the case), just a choice of direction to take and you accept the consequences of that decision.

Eoin

As a couple of people have said, we can't make the assumptions you're making.

Maybe the boss is being an ass, maybe they have their backs to the wall and just can't afford it. We're getting one incomplete side of the story here.

borderlinemeath

OP I really hope you came to a compromise with your boss and got to attend the funeral of your friend.

IMO, the amount of poor advice given to the OP is unbelievable! Nobody has any obligation for time off for a funeral unless it is an immediate family member, and most (reputable) companies will have a compassionate leave charter in their handbook/profile that outlines amount of time allowed to take.

The amount of people who suggested getting a sick cert/calling in sick just makes my blood boil. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that the OP needs a cert, and it makes a mockery of the entire system.

I agree his boss handled it badly, but who knows, his job may be on the line if he doesn't make productivity targets. A simple compromise would be to let the employee work the time back, or let the employee off for the day (unpaid) once adequate cover was provided for his shift.

Oranage2

borderlinemeath wrote: »

OP I really hope you came to a compromise with your boss and got to attend the funeral of your friend.

IMO, the amount of poor advice given to the OP is unbelievable! Nobody has any obligation for time off for a funeral unless it is an immediate family member, and most (reputable) companies will have a compassionate leave charter in their handbook/profile that outlines amount of time allowed to take.

The amount of people who suggested getting a sick cert/calling in sick just makes my blood boil. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that the OP needs a cert, and it makes a mockery of the entire system.

I agree his boss handled it badly, but who knows, his job may be on the line if he doesn't make productivity targets. A simple compromise would be to let the employee work the time back, or let the employee off for the day (unpaid) once adequate cover was provided for his shift.

There's more to life than just work and the fact that the manager was being so inhumane shows he/she wasnt going to comprimise - I'm sure the op asked for time off then he/she asked for a comprimise and was still refused.

The next step is to call in sick - If the manager is going to show such disregard for the employee well there's nothing wrong showing disregard for the job -

I know every situation is different but i was once refused time off (not for a funeral) so i got a doctors note and took the week off, the manger then got a clear message that refuse me time off again would result in losing a staff member for a prolonged period - I rearly asked for time off and was never sick and thats how I was treated.

Eoin

Crap like this makes me understand why companies don't pay sick leave. Very disappointing there are doctors out there who give out notes like that for clearly bullsh1t reasons.

Oranage2

Eoin wrote: »

Crap like this makes me understand why companies don't pay sick leave. Very disappointing there are doctors out there who give out notes like that for clearly bullsh1t reasons.

You'd know you are HR .
I'm not talking about getting a sick note everytime you want to go fishing but in some extreme situations a sick note is the only way.


And to keep it on topic for the people thanking you what would they do in this situation say if the boss wouldnt allow a shift change or too leave for an hour?

Eoin

Oranage2 wrote: »

Eoin wrote: »

Crap like this makes me understand why companies don't pay sick leave. Very disappointing there are doctors out there who give out notes like that for clearly bullsh1t reasons.

You'd know you are HR .
I'm not talking about getting a sick note everytime you want to go fishing but in some extreme situations a sick note is the only way.


And to keep it on topic for the people thanking you what would they do in this situation say if the boss wouldnt allow a shift change or too leave for an hour?

Nope, not HR at all, I just don't subscribe to this idea of taking a week of nonsense sick leave (which is partly paid by social welfare) to make a point.

We are only getting one side of the story here so it's hard to comment. I'd probably try and pre-empt my manager's concerns by arranging cover myself / asking for just a few hours off / whatever.

borderlinemeath

Oranage2 wrote: »

You'd know you are HR .
I'm not talking about getting a sick note everytime you want to go fishing but in some extreme situations a sick note is the only way.


And to keep it on topic for the people thanking you what would they do in this situation say if the boss wouldnt allow a shift change or too leave for an hour?

Most decent employees would be allowed to work out some kind of compromise. Depending on the nature of his employment there could be a very good reason why the leave was refused.

In all the years I was an employee I was only ever refused time off once, it was for a long hen weekend and I knew I was chancing my arm. The leave fell during the busiest part of the working year which was already blacklisted for leave and I completely understood where they were coming from. If they had allowed me time off to attend it would have set a precendent for other employees.

People like yourself who get certs in the manner you did just prove to the employer that your nothing but trouble in the workplace. You're actions don't exactly scream "promote me/give me a raise/give me more responsibility":rolleyes:

amdublin

Oranage2 wrote: »

.......If the manager is going to show such disregard for the employee well there's nothing wrong showing disregard for the job -

I know every situation is different but i was once refused time off (not for a funeral) so i got a doctors note and took the week off, the manger then got a clear message that refuse me time off again would result in losing a staff member for a prolonged period - I rearly asked for time off and was never sick and thats how I was treated.

You sound like a nightmare to manage.

You also sound like a nightmare to work with. You sent a "clear message" to your colleagues on this occasion. I am sure they were cursing you while they were under extra pressure for the week while you were at home with your doctors note that you "got".

Sofiztikated

Same as.

If you're refused the leave, then deal with it. Employers don't just say no, just to be a cúnt. There's reasons behind it.

If I want a particular day off, especially last minute, I'll try and swap with a colleague first. If that doesn't work out, I'd ask my immediate manager if it was possible to take the day off, if they could do without me. If not, well then, I'll work around it. Last thing I want to do is leave my colleagues in the shít.

InReality

Sofiztikated wrote: »

. Employers don't just say no, just to be a cúnt. There's reasons behind it.

.

I disagree with this.
While there are always two sides to a story if you take a look
through the stories here , there are plenty of cases where employers often abuse the power
they have.