SEX question

BBDBB

smash wrote: »

Check out dr. love over here... Always funny when people talk like this as if they're a sex god.

not at all, Im far from it, Im still learning, but have got better since I was a young buck, havent you?

Sonics2k

hondasam wrote: »

I don't think about it I just do it.

Pfft, and women claim they don't have any advantages over men! :pac:

MagicSean

Sunshine! wrote: »

I think hormones and lifestyles come into it quite a bit. My sex drive is through the roof and I get very frustrated very easily (most of the time) and I find I have a mind geared towards sex/nudity/activity etc more than most. I'm female but not "average" as in I see myself as one of the lads mostly. Having said that, I've looked very brazen with some men who were quite shy and unfamiliar with anything sexual, and it also has to deal with the levels of exposure they've had to stuff like that growing up, if it's been seen as ok or seedy or whatever. I think the myth that women don't think about sex too often was busted a long time ago anyway.

But am quite happy being an almost constantly horny b!tch :pac:

Your ideas intrigue me. I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Wibbs

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

You believe men are more promiscuous than women? I'd disagree.

+1. While I know some men whose bedpost has been reduced to kindling because of all the notches in it, I know many more men who have had few enough encounters and some with with very few. I've known of a few men I suspected were virgins at 30, but no women. The women I've known had on average more sexual partners over their lives so far than the men. Of the couples I know well, I can think of only two where he had more partners than her. I've known more women who cheat too. Both genders can lie or exaggerate, but on average men overcook the numbers, on average women undercook theirs.

gargleblaster

Sonics2k wrote: »

Pfft, and women claim they don't have any advantages over men! :pac:

Yeah, but only if you consider being able to get sex anytime you want an advantage.

stupidusername

gargleblaster wrote: »

Yeah, but only if you consider being able to get sex anytime you want an advantage.

I think most men would

gargleblaster

Just rubbing it in.

starlit

I think men and women equally think of sex a lot but some women don't while men tend to a lot more. Men are more visual but may not be as discreet when it comes to sex and sexual innuendoes. While women are more emotional when it comes to sex even thinking about sex there is some kind of bond and attachment when they think about it, its just just the flirty and visual side. Women don't show that they are thinking about sex too much while men do when they see an attractive woman and so on.

stupidusername

I think, for me at least it varies on phases, rather than mood. well i suppose the phases would be based on mood though. I seem to go through phases where I'm quite interested to not so interested. I think my current phase is dying down a bit.

leggo

stupidusername wrote: »

I think, for me at least it varies on phases, rather than mood. well i suppose the phases would be based on mood though. I seem to go through phases where I'm quite interested to not so interested. I think my current phase is dying down a bit.

I'm like this too. I go through phases of wanting to go out, get a different woman every night like a bunny rabbit on viagra; to wanting to be in a nice, romantic relationship; to having no energy whatsoever to put towards sex or women at all. And, looking back at my life, these phases aren't massively influenced by what's come before it. It's fairly random.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Seachmall wrote: »

As they would be, all that ovulation and what not.

Guys evolved to ride everything left, right and center.
Women didn't.

Men's "obsession" with sex isn't a social factor, it's an evolutionary one.

Yes, that's when we ovulate, when we're on our period. We bleed it out in the hopes it will be more easily fertilised, yay evolution. Please use condoms.

Aaaanyways, while obviously it varies from person to person I'd say men do think/talk about it more. And now I'm thinking about it. Brb.

Idjit

I think the average man and woman think about it in equal amounts. There is still that idea that men are sex-crazed and that women are demure..I think that idea actually contributes to women behaving as if they really are reserved about it because they don't want to have a bad reputation.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Jade182 wrote: »

I think the average man and woman think about it in equal amounts. There is still that idea that men are sex-crazed and that women are demure..I think that idea actually contributes to women behaving as if they really are reserved about it because they don't want to have a bad reputation.

Yeah and maybe guys talk about it more than they would naturally because they feel they have to or something? I've often wondered about that. One guy did once tell me he felt self-conscious about how LITTLE he wanked and thought about sex. I mean in hindsight he was trying to have sex with me but it still could be true. So come on guys, who are the big nancies who don't think about sex all the time?

stupidusername

I think yeah, women do have to play it down a little, depending on company, as the older generation wouldn't be open about it.

iPlop

I think about it constantly

Millicent

Sink The Banana wrote: »

I think about it constantly

Sink The Banana, I'm shocked!


Why, your name appears to be some sort of innuendo!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Millicent wrote: »

Sink The Banana, I'm shocked!


Why, your name appears to me some sort of innuendo!

That's just your filthy mind :rolleyes:

Millicent

Russell Nice Loner wrote: »

That's just your filthy mind :rolleyes:

How very dare you. Sex is for procreation and for when the heating's broken. Mostly the first one though.

gargleblaster

Russell Nice Loner wrote: »

Yeah and maybe guys talk about it more than they would naturally because they feel they have to or something? I've often wondered about that. One guy did once tell me he felt self-conscious about how LITTLE he wanked and thought about sex. I mean in hindsight he was trying to have sex with me but it still could be true. So come on guys, who are the big nancies who don't think about sex all the time?

Of course it could be true, and of course social pressure not to be a big nancy plays on men the same way that social pressure plays on women not to be slutty. It's all such a huge pile of bull****.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

gargleblaster wrote: »

Of course it could be true, and of course social pressure not to be a big nancy plays on men the same way that social pressure plays on women not to be slutty. It's all such a huge pile of bull****.

Agreed on the bull**** bit. It's just that I assume that most adults have a fairly high sex drive, is it the case that the clichés about men thinking about it all the time are true and a broadly accurate reflection of men's sex drive and that the cliché about women not thinking about is so much isn't true but rather a result of social pressures and conditioning OR is it the case that neither are true and we're all being ****ed over into behaving/speaking in a way that doesn't reflect our libidos?

I'd say I have a fairly high sex drive but I can't imagine thinking about sex as much as men are professed to.

gargleblaster

Russell Nice Loner wrote: »

Agreed on the bull**** bit. It's just that I assume that most adults have a fairly high sex drive, is it the case that the clichés about men thinking about it all the time are true and a broadly accurate reflection of men's sex drive and that the cliché about women not thinking about is so much isn't true but rather a result of social pressures and conditioning OR is it the case that neither are true and we're all being ****ed over into behaving/speaking in a way that doesn't reflect our libidos?

I'd say it's almost impossible to determine. A good start would be dropping all the social pressure to conform to gender norms though, IMO anyway.

I'd say I have a fairly high sex drive but I can't imagine thinking about sex as much as men are professed to.

And I can't imagine not doing so! :pac:

leggo

gargleblaster wrote: »

I'd say it's almost impossible to determine. A good start would be dropping all the social pressure to conform to gender norms though, IMO anyway.

Yeah, see the problem I'd see with that is: how long would you be able to last being open and honest about your sex drive while dealing with the endless amount of unwanted male attention it would bring with it?

These social norms are sometimes ridiculous when put to scrutiny, but sometimes they're there for good reason.

gargleblaster

Why would there be an endless amount of unwanted attention?

leggo

gargleblaster wrote: »

Why would there be an endless amount of unwanted attention?

Ah I won't even tell you, I'll show you. Give it a try being open and honest about all your sexual wants and desires on boards, sure, and wait for the ";);)" PMs to come flooding!

gargleblaster

I'm not proposing that women go around broadcasting all their sexual fantasies, just that they not lie to avoid appearing 'slutty'.

Too many women are hung up on tailoring themselves to fit what men want (e.g. "Oh if I 'give in' then I'll look like a slut and he won't like me" kinda crap). I say fvck that - do as you please and if the guy minds then he's not worth worrying about anyway.

BBDBB

I like you gargleblaster, you've got spunk!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

gargleblaster wrote: »

I'm not proposing that women go around broadcasting all their sexual fantasies, just that they not lie to avoid appearing 'slutty'.

Too many women are hung up on tailoring themselves to fit what men want (e.g. "Oh if I 'give in' then I'll look like a slut and he won't like me" kinda crap). I say fvck that - do as you please and if the guy minds then he's not worth worrying about anyway.

Oh that wrecks my head. I mean it's fair enough if a woman is looking for something serious and suspects the man isn't and so takes it slow to see if he'll stick around without getting any...but at the same time, if you want to, just have sex. If he sticks around, great, if he's just after the ride sure at least you got the ride. Nothing wrong with the ride. If he WAS going to entertain the idea of a serious relationship but then decided you weren't good enough because you slept with him then you're well rid anyway.

leggo

gargleblaster wrote: »

I'm not proposing that women go around broadcasting all their sexual fantasies, just that they not lie to avoid appearing 'slutty'.

Too many women are hung up on tailoring themselves to fit what men want (e.g. "Oh if I 'give in' then I'll look like a slut and he won't like me" kinda crap). I say fvck that - do as you please and if the guy minds then he's not worth worrying about anyway.

No, fair play and by all means go for it if that's how you feel. I hope it works out, genuinely!

For the sake of discussion, I'd counter that not wanting to look like a slut would be more of a defence mechanism against lads who only see women in terms of 'get yer bit and split', when perhaps they want a more meaningful interaction OR just don't want to be slobbered over like a piece of meat only there to serve the man's every need. So, from that standpoint, I'd say it's an understandable (I'd even go as far as to say extremely intelligent) way to act.

But different strokes and all that! :cool:

gargleblaster

BBDBB wrote: »

I like you gargleblaster, you've got spunk!

So many disgusting things that could be said in response to that. :pac:

leggo wrote: »

No, fair play and by all means go for it if that's how you feel. I hope it works out, genuinely!

For the sake of discussion, I'd counter that not wanting to look like a slut would be more of a defence mechanism against lads who only see women in terms of 'get yer bit and split', when perhaps they want a more meaningful interaction OR just don't want to be slobbered over like a piece of meat only there to serve the man's every need. So, from that standpoint, I'd say it's an understandable (I'd even go as far as to say extremely intelligent) way to act.

But different strokes and all that! :cool:

How is it a defense mechanism? It's not as if the men who think of women as nothing but a conquest are going to change if she pretends she doesn't want to have sex with them.

And if a man is like that, why the hell would she want to attempt any sort of meaningful interaction with them?

Don't understand your point about not wanting to be "slobbered over like a piece of meat only there to serve the man's every need". If I want to **** a guy I kinda do want that. Not every sexual encounter has to be making love.

Saila

stupidusername wrote: »

I think, for me at least it varies on phases, rather than mood. well i suppose the phases would be based on mood though. I seem to go through phases where I'm quite interested to not so interested. I think my current phase is dying down a bit.

like some sort of....monthly cycle?, oh I think Im onto it, I think I will call it a period rather than phase though in my paper..

*collects phd*

py2006

Sunshine! wrote: »

I think hormones and lifestyles come into it quite a bit. My sex drive is through the roof and I get very frustrated very easily (most of the time) and I find I have a mind geared towards sex/nudity/activity etc more than most. I'm female but not "average" as in I see myself as one of the lads mostly. Having said that, I've looked very brazen with some men who were quite shy and unfamiliar with anything sexual, and it also has to deal with the levels of exposure they've had to stuff like that growing up, if it's been seen as ok or seedy or whatever. I think the myth that women don't think about sex too often was busted a long time ago anyway.

But am quite happy being an almost constantly horny b!tch :pac:

coffee?

Saila

BBDBB wrote: »

I like you gargleblaster, you've got spunk!

lots of it Id say..

leggo

gargleblaster wrote: »

How is it a defense mechanism? It's not as if the men who think of women as nothing but a conquest are going to change if she pretends she doesn't want to have sex with them.

And if a man is like that, why the hell would she want to attempt any sort of meaningful interaction with them?

It's not so much that they want to change him, it's that they're testing to see if he is like that to begin with imo. Not everyone is as honest in their intentions as you, unfortunately, gargleblaster!

What you're suggesting is nice and, like I said, if it leads to your eternal happiness then I'm more than happy to concede this inconsequential online debate with you! But men may sometimes approach, or even be in a relationship with, a woman just seeing her as a hole needing to be filled. It's no harm, no foul if both parties agree to this. But if a woman goes into it under the pretense that this is a loving partnership and it turns out it's not, then she's likely to be hurt and misled. Thus, this defence mechanism exists.

One thing I DO agree on, and I don't think a lot of men even realise this, is that women are much more open to casual encounters than many may think, even in this day and age. What neither men nor women are into, though, is people being deceitful with their intentions.

Don't understand your point about not wanting to be "slobbered over like a piece of meat only there to serve the man's every need". If I want to **** a guy I kinda do want that. Not every sexual encounter has to be making love.

The key word in the part you've quoted is the word "only."

It's not a case of making love versus ****ing. It's a case of having more self-worth than seeing yourself as merely a vessel to carry other men's sperm. In the scenario you outlined, where does your own pleasure and gratification come into play if you are only there to please him?

ScumLord

Women don't have to think about sex as much because men will constantly remind them.

pragmatic1

More testosterone = higher sex drive, so yeah men are more preoccupied with sex than women. Having said that some women are downright scary when they get the horn.

gargleblaster

leggo wrote: »

What neither men nor women are into, though, is people being deceitful with their intentions.

Wholeheartedly agree with you there.

The key word in the part you've quoted is the word "only."

It's not a case of making love versus ****ing. It's a case of having more self-worth than seeing yourself as merely a vessel to carry other men's sperm. In the scenario you outlined, where does your own pleasure and gratification come into play if you are only there to please him?

That comment is - er, puzzling. I'll just say that.

Who says that's all anyone sees themselves as? That's a lot to read into a comment IMO. The act of sex is supposed to be about mutual pleasure and pleasing each other.

I guess I just never had the time or inclination to go about 'testing' anyone. The way I see it, life's too short for that. And I refuse to live my life by someone else's definition of self-worth.

leggo

Ah look, no need to get serious here, 'twas all for the sake of discussion. I'm not trying to lecture you on what kind of self-worth you should have. Like I said, I admire your attitude in a way and more power to you if it makes you happy!

af_thefragile

Men are more visual and think about the act itself. Why men's magazines contains of naked girls and lots of tits.

Women are more visceral and think about the things before/leading to the act such as flirting, foreplay etc. Which is why women's magazines and trashy novels have a lot of crap about "top 10 tips" and a lot of flirting, foreplay, dirty talk etc.


And from some of the girls I've come to known, they think about all that crap a lot more than men do. They might not think about sex and get horny as often. But they think about flirting with that guy and what he might be like to kiss or in bed etc. a lot of the time...

For men its more of ohh she's hot!, check out her legs, arse and tits... I better make a visit to the bathroom... And it over.

billybudd

men visually undress women, women mentaly undress men.

stupidusername

Saila wrote: »

like some sort of....monthly cycle?, oh I think Im onto it, I think I will call it a period rather than phase though in my paper..

*collects phd*

Well yeah that's obviously part of it,but no I mean longer phases as in around 2months or more

Idjit

af_thefragile wrote: »

Men are more visual and think about the act itself. Why men's magazines contains of naked girls and lots of tits.

Women are more visceral and think about the things before/leading to the act such as flirting, foreplay etc. Which is why women's magazines and trashy novels have a lot of crap about "top 10 tips" and a lot of flirting, foreplay, dirty talk etc.


And from some of the girls I've come to known, they think about all that crap a lot more than men do. They might not think about sex and get horny as often. But they think about flirting with that guy and what he might be like to kiss or in bed etc. a lot of the time...

For men its more of ohh she's hot!, check out her legs, arse and tits... I better make a visit to the bathroom... And it over.

Actually to be honest, I think the differences in women and men's magazines is again based on the outward appearance women want to have. The magazines conform to this idea that women only want and need emotional connections and not simple physical ones. I think they evolved that way to suit what socially acceptable norms required. I'm female and I would love it if it was more acceptable for women to be gawking at nude magazines filled with sexy men! But if I were to own a magazine like that, like Playgirl, I'd be absolutely slaughtered by mates for it. Where as with my male mates; they are more than comfortable talking to each other about magazines like that and about women in that context.
It's like all the fuss about the Hunky Dory's ad with the scantily clad women...people saying it objectifies and sexualises women. My ONLY complaint was that they hadn't brought out a men's version of that! If the guys get something to druel over, why the feck shouldn't us girls get the same?? And I think it's BECAUSE of this 'social expectation' crap that ads like that don't ever appear, except in joking terms.

flutterflye

When I'm ovulating, I'm like a guy when it comes to preoccupation with sex.
The rest of the time, it doesn't enter my head much at all - only really at night time when in bed.

smash

flutterflye wrote:

it doesn't enter my head much at all - only really at night time when in bed.

Pre sleep bj's ftw.

Saila

flutterflye wrote: »

When I'm ovulating, I'm like a guy when it comes to preoccupation with sex.
The rest of the time, it doesn't enter my head much at all - only really at night time when in bed.

so when you see a guy you dont check him out
and do a quick mental checklist and with I would, I would not.. which lasts about a second or two

flutterflye

Saila wrote: »

so when you see a guy you dont check him out
and do a quick mental checklist and with I would, I would not.. which lasts about a second or two

No.
I don't tend to even notice what people look like.
Like say if I was in a shop, and the guy at the till was ridiculously good looking - of course I'd notice.
But if I was walking down the road and that same guy was walking along, I wouldn't even notice him.
Compared to my husband who is clearly looking at every girls boobs and ass that is in his eye line (he probably thinks he's being subtle bless him!)

smash

flutterflye wrote: »

Compared to my husband who is clearly looking at every girls boobs and ass that is in his eye line (he probably thinks he's being subtle bless him!)

I used to be good at being subtle but then I just gave up and now she just laughs at me when I do it.

Azureus

From my social circle Id reckon young guys (as in teens/early 20s) are the more sex obsessed, and as women get older they get hornier. It definately varies person to person aswell though, some of the girls I know are absolute nymphos and some of the guys I know would be the ones to stop things going further to stop ruining friendships etc whereas the girls are more into the act itself/f-buddies etc. Which would go against the general perception of males/females in society imo.

wolfmoon87

smash wrote: »

I used to be good at being subtle but then I just gave up and now she just laughs at me when I do it.

Ha! This is what I do. I love taking the piss out of my boyfriend, when he's checking out the ladies :pac:

Rocket19

I think guys probably do think more about sex than girls. Men have higher testosterone levels, causing a higher sex drive, so that's some obvious biological evidence for you. Having said that, we're still anatomically very similar, so from that perpective, there's no reason to suggest that women shouldn't have a high sex drive. From an evolutionary point of view, surely its "useful" for women to want and enjoy having sex.

What people have said about guys feeling pressure to talk about sex, and girls perhaps feeling pressured to "keep it quiet" is actually very interesting. Despite leaps and bounds in equality, like it or not, a promiscuous women will often be deemed a slut. This attitude isn't nearly as commonly applied to men.

Its pretty common knowledge that any girl can get casual sex if she so wants it - from my experience anyway. Depending obviously on how physically attractive she is, she may or may not be able to pull the hottest guy in the room, but nonetheless, I think if a girl decided she wanted to bring a guy home that night, she'd find someone willing.
On the other hand, it seems much harder for guys. Obviously the hot guys have girls lining up to sleep with them, but for a lot of men its just not like that.
I think if the same proportion of women were up for casual sex as men, a lottt more people would go home together.

I'm not saying, of course, that girls don't have casual sex, or that a lot of us aren't up for casual sex. Its definitely hidden more though. As a girl, I'd only tell my "stories" to friends/family who I know won't judge. Some of my friends would never even dream of having a ONS, whereas for others its totally normal and something we'd basically have the banter over.

ALSO, someone mentioned that they knew men they suspected of being virgins at 30, yet no women. I don't find this surprising or indictive of anything tbh. I would guess that most guys who are virgins at 30 are shy guys who are no good with women. I'd imagine (in most cases at least) that its not because they have a low sex drive, but because they have social anxiety, are depressed or just aren't confident enough to even talk to women. Women, on the other hand, are far less likely to be virgins at a older age because if a women wants to even try sex, its not that difficult. Even a women who is shy or not the best looking could probabaly get someone to sleep with her.

My name is URL

hondasam wrote: »

I don't think about it I just do it.

Yeah, it's like taking a spoonful of cod liver oil