Monday Funnies

MonkieSocks

Two old age pensioners are looking for love

They met at a singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each others company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.

They had a lovely evening.

They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.

Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....





Claude was thinking: 'If I'd known she was still a virgin, I'd have been gentler.'





Maude was thinking: 'If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off.'

________________________________

When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life,
the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honour.

At the dinner table, the Ambassador’s wife who did not speak French was talking with Madame de Gaulle:

“Your husband has been such a prominent public figure,
such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years!

How quiet retirement will seem in comparison?

Wat are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?”

“A penis,” replied Madame de Gaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table.

Everyone heard her answer…… and no one knew what to say next.

Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said:




“Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, “appiness!’”