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Heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be

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  • 27-09-2011 7:53pm
    #1
    JabbaTheHut
    Registered Users Posts: 1,213 ✭✭✭


    Mick and Johnny were two very good, but very different friends. While Mick was a family man, that never drank or smoked or cheated on his wife, Johnny was a semi alcoholic, chain smoking chancer that would ride anything he could.

    This day, while the two friends were hitting off to a match in Micks car, they got into a skid, and both were tradgically killed.

    Mick, being the clean living man went straight to Heaven, and settled in nicely. Johnny, of course, didn't have the right stuff to get into Heaven, and ended up in Hell.

    However, after a while, Mick became lonely and wondered how his friend was doing. Hell wasn't supposed to be a nice place after all. So he went up to Saint Peter and asked if he could find out how Johnny was. So Peter said "Just look down, and you'll be able to see him". Sure enough, when Mick looked down, he could see Johnny.

    But instead of Johnny being tortured, or roasted in the fires of hell, he was relaxing back in a recliner chair, surrounded by sexy blondes, and heaps of bottles of beer.

    "This is crap", Mick thought to himself. "There I was, living a clean life, no vices, and faithful to my wife, and all I get to do is kneel down praying all day long in this boring place, and there's Johnny, a total chancer, and he gets beer, women and plenty of relaxing"

    "St. Peter", he said, "Can I go down there, instead of staying here?"
    "Yes", replied St. Peter, "but if you go down there, you can't ever come back. You'll be down there for eternity".

    "That's fine with me", said Mick. " It'd beat the crap out of what I'm doing here".

    So, with a quick snap of his fingers, St. Peter sends Mick down to his Friend.

    "Fook me", said Johnny, when he saw Mick drop down in front of him. "What the fook are you doing here? You're way too clean living to be down here".

    "I saw you from up in Heaven, living a great life with these blondes, relaxing in your chair, drinking beer. When I was alive, I lived the clean life, and all I got for my efforts was praying all day long surrounded by people all dressed the same. I'm making a change and going to have the same fun you're having". And with that, Mick picked up a bottle and went to drink from it. But there was something wrong.

    "These bottles have no holes", he said.

    "You think that's bad?", replied Johnny














    "You should try the blondes"


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