Marriage cert = €150, average Irish wedding cost in a recession= €29,000, why?

Bride2012

Thank you so much for all of the replies. Having a big rethink at the moment and deciding what's most important to US as a couple.

mrsdewinter

rubadub wrote: »

I haven't been at any of my first cousins weddings, neither has my brother. My parents get invited to them, I have never expected to be.

I can't believe people are still being pressurised to invite cousins to weddings! It's fine if you're particularly close to a cousin, but there's no way anybody should expect an invitation just because they share the same grandparents.

OP, I know it's easy to say these things here online, but do have a rethink about what kind of a day you want to have. I have friends who've had mega weddings, and friends who opted for the registry office on a weekday. The registry office couple are no less married than the others.

RachaelVO

29KKKKKKKKKKKKKK Are you out of your mind. 29K for a fcuking party, cos that's all it is!!!

When I got married, and I got married during the boom, I spent a total of 7k! I had the works. Now granted I had two favours, one was the car (Rolls) it belonged to a friend of my dads, and the second was my cake, one of my best and oldest friends made it for me!

Having said that though, the owner of the hotel gave us tonnes of tips, we didn't necessarily use them, but when we were looking at menus she said have a meat choice and a veggie choice. Don't do more, people will either eat it or don't, and they'll always have something to moan about, so think of your wallet.

When it came to inviting people, friends went top of the list. Cousins I was close to and aunts and uncles came next. Then cousins I had feck all contact with got afters invites. End of, and I would broke not argument over it! Invites were done from Viking, cost a fraction of the price and who care what they look like. Wedding favours were 10 crappy sweets, kinda reminiscent of the 10penny sweet bags you got years ago!

The only truly big expenses I had were my dress (still done on the cheap) and my photographer, who was brilliant AND great value!

You need to seriously sit down, cull your list, and all that ****e, cos if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want. It's a party at the end of the day, and you can have a great party without spending that sort of money.

You need that money to start of your marriage, and a party does not a marriage make!

Betty Draper

Holy god - 29k :eek:

Me and OH are in the process of planning our wedding for April 2012. we havent told anyone and are not planning on telling them until much closer to the date.

it is not going to cost us more then 3k all in.

why would you let anyone tell you what to do - its your wedding not their

spoofilyj

Bride2012 wrote: »

I'm getting married in June and wanted a small wedding but I got pressured by family and friends to make it bigger as 'you'll regret it if you don't'. Now I've a big, expensive wedding that I don't really want. I hear of this happening so often, usually parents having their own big guest list. Why do we do it to ourselves in Ireland?

Fiona? Is that you?

lastlaugh

OP, why not do it on the cheap like a lot of people these days and fly off to Spain or somewhere?

Gmol

Bride2012 wrote: »

We're paying for it ourselves, my parents are giving us 2k as a present but want 60 from their list not including relations. At last count the guest list was 260 as we've big families. We may decide to elope; )

Sorry but your parents are pulling the p***, put them straight and tell them you can't afford it and the wedding will include immediatate family & your close friends. They're putting you in debt before you even get started

uck51js9zml2yt

We had 66 people and got the early bird menu at 18e a head plus drinks. came to about 1 1/2k and everyone was happy with a choice of 5 dishes per course whuch included steak.

DublinWriter

Back in my wedding-band-drummer days we all observed that the bigger the wedding the quicker the separation.

the_syco

Bride2012 wrote: »

Why do we do it to ourselves in Ireland?

Because the bride and grrom have no spine?

Paparazzo

Save money on the wedding and spend it on the honeymoon.

Bride2012

spoofilyj wrote: »

Fiona? Is that you?

Nope but good to know that I'm not the only one.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

30K on a wedding? That would be a serious debt for me. For others it would be affordable. Depends on the person. For me it will be a very small wedding and a very nice meal afterwards. Close friends and family, that's all...

Some people are fcuking insane when it comes to crap like this.

newballsplease

MagicMarker wrote: »

Maybe think twice about getting married if you still do what your parents tell you?

Quality

rebelmomma

If families thought anything of you they wouldn't be putting pressure on you. Shocking in this day and age. Parents don't neccesarily have it either so I don't agree that they should be asked to cough up. If you are having a wedding you don't want it probably won't be an enjoyable day for you. Me and hubby did it all for 11 and half k for 150 sitting down for 3 courses and that was just doing it differently (using caterer in a gaa club as opposed to a hotel that alot of people had used for weddings and had been to weddings already) and using families offers of help. We are as married as my sis in law who spent 40k and Will and Kate who spent way more.

lab man

Bride 2012 if its any use to you i've been to 2 receptions this year thank god one pretty big at a country hse an all that stuff about 200 at i think it was a great day and the other was 90 odd guests all i can say is that the second was by far the better and by talking to the hubbies after wards the small wedding everyone was known to both bride and groom and the big wedding not so much i'm only talking as a guest thats all i would expect that alot wont go anyway with the reccession, because both told me that a good few didn't give a penny to the couples, enjoy and best of luck to ye both!!

iguana

Bride2012 wrote: »

I'm getting married in June and wanted a small wedding but I got pressured by family and friends to make it bigger as 'you'll regret it if you don't'. Now I've a big, expensive wedding that I don't really want. I hear of this happening so often, usually parents having their own big guest list. Why do we do it to ourselves in Ireland?

See, I would have regretted it if we did. I really didn't want a hotel wedding and a big expensive dress. I don't enjoy that aspect of weddings I attend as a guest. I enjoy the spending a fun day with family/friends part of weddings, but not the mediocre meal and somewhat crappy disco part. And I really, really, really, really, really hate the mass part.

Bride2012

Thanks everyone, it's great to hear from so many people who had a small wedding and enjoyed it. It does make me wonder though, if there are so many small weddings and the AVERAGE is €29,000, how much are the people with big weddings actually spending to bring the average up to this level?

bodhrandude

fran oconnor wrote: »

Your perents are wrong for putting you and your partner under such presure imo, it seems like its a keeping up with the Joneses situation if you ask me. Its not your problem that your perents went to their friends son's wedding. Just look after yourselves. You seem like a smart enough person for questioning this type of spending anyway so don't go along with it for the sake of others.
Perents at times can have to much to say for themselves in situations like this.

Lol.

Wetai

bodhrandude wrote: »

Lol.

LOL

TheZohanS

Bride2012 wrote: »

Thanks everyone, it's great to hear from so many people who had a small wedding and enjoyed it. It does make me wonder though, if there are so many small weddings and the AVERAGE is €29,000, how much are the people with big weddings actually spending to bring the average up to this level?

Does your OH have a good job? A few quid in the bank etc?

Bride2012

[/QUOTE]

Does your OH have a good job? A few quid in the bank etc?[/Quote]
We both have jobs that will hopefully pay well some day. We're in the early days of our careers.

the_syco

I'm thinking a bulk of the €29,000 is the hotel for the people, the meal for the people, etc. All pre-paid, of course... :rolleyes:

scotty_irish

i just don't want to buy dinner for a bunch of people i don't like.

Cee-Jay-Cee

We got married in spain, invited 100 guests. 65 came along and we had a great time. There were very few aunts/uncles/cousins (many of which i havent seen in over 20 years - why should i invite complete strangers to MY wedding...i wasnt at theirs!)

If you and your fiance dont want a big wedding then dont have one. I was at a wedding a couple of years ago where there were over 450 guests. It was like a cattle mart with the vast majority of guests being friends of the couples parents. The only good thing was half them had either died or fallen asleep by 10pm and had to be taken home/buried...leaving the able bodied younger guests to drink themselves into oblivion!

silly

I'm not really sure where you are getting this €29,000 from.
I got married a few weeks ago, 120 guests, 5 course meal, the dress, photographer, video etc, it only came to about €15,000.
Oh and the €150 doesn't actually include your cert. You have to pay €8 for that.

Dubh Geannain

Wedding with 250 guests including 5 and a half week honeymoon in Australia + Fiji. Final cost (after adding in wedding gifts): €8,000.
No loans were taken and it was never an option. If we couldn't afford it, it wasn't purchased.

Different strokes for different folks though. My advice, to repeat the most common reply on this thread, do what YOU WANT. Not what others want. We did and have zero regrets.




Interested in buying some unwanted wedding gifts PM me ;-) Trying to recoup costs for that damn wedding

Chiggers

LiamN wrote: »

LOL

LOL.

universe777

.

sh1tstirrer

Bride2012 wrote: »

We're paying for it ourselves, my parents are giving us 2k as a present but want 60 from their list not including relations. At last count the guest list was 260 as we've big families. We may decide to elope; )

260 is nothing I was at a wedding with 380 guests there were 500 invites given out :eek:

Scuid Mhór

Chiggers wrote: »

LOL.

lol indeed

Lia_lia

I have never understood weddings in Ireland. I have worked in a few hotels where weddings are held and they are ALL THE SAME! They are way too expensive, generally boring and full of people you rarely see who just want free food (and maybe drink).

I was working at a wedding a few weeks ago where the bride and groom wanted a full Irish breakfast to be served at 2am. For 300 people. It cost them and extra €1,800. Srsly.

I don't plan on getting married, but if I do it would probably be in a warm country with only a few people. And would still be a lot cheaper than most Irish weddings.

EGAR

I know of a lot fun things one can do with 29.000 and a few sensible ones as well. Spending it on my wedding is NOT one of them.

Sofiztikated

I got married 3 weeks ago.

Total at the reception 130. Total at the afters another 40 or so.

Total shelled out, including honeymoom? Less than €11k.

The craic was ninety! I'd nearly do it all again! At least I'll know for the second time around.

We're adults. We invited who we wanted to invite, both mammies got a say in one invite. This shíte of "Oh you have to invite such and such, shure did they live down the road from us, back in the old county." Bolix. I don't know them. You haven't even seen them in years. GTFO.

Cars wise, a mate lent me his Mustang. My Best man sorted out a tidy 200SX for him and the groomsman. He also sorted out a nice Audi for me Mammy. All favours.

Supposed to have to 67 Beetles for the bride. Landed to pick one up, and wheel was siezed. Got home, went to the pub with the brothers for a swift one, and pulled in another favour, and a nice 300C turned up for her.

Cake, wedding present from Brother & Sister in Law, Sister in Laws sister makes them.

Dress. She got one of last years designs. Less than €500, fitted.

Band. Got them all day, from ceremony music, to pre function music, to band music, to DJ, €2000. Well worth it. Best wedding band I've ever seen, and I see at least 2 bands a weekend.

Photographer and videographer. Mates rates. Groomsmans father did video, and photographer works that with him did a savage price for us.

Favours? Utter bolix. I've invited you to my wedding. I'm paying for your meal and wine. I'm laying on entertainment. Do you really think I should have to put little trinkety crap on the tablets, or donate a herd of cattle to Ethiopia for you to feel good?

Honeymoon? Booked it the Monday after the wedding. Didn't care where we went. Anywhere we go, we have a laugh. Ended up going to the Algarve, and had a great week. Another couple that got married a couple of weeks before us are off on a 4 month honeymoon. They're fed up with each others company already, and they have 2 & half more months to go!

I couldn't have picked 2 better best men. She couldn't have had 2 better bridesmaids. I couldn't have picked a better Wifey. She had her Mam and Dad at the top table, I had me Mam and oldest brother (representing the male side of our family, Dad died years ago.)

Long story short. Spend what you want. Spend what you can afford. It's not all about the flashy bolix, (which I admit is nice) it's about who you have beside you on the day.

So...eh..Go Team.

sh1tstirrer

Lia_lia wrote: »

I have never understood weddings in Ireland. I have worked in a few hotels where weddings are held and they are ALL THE SAME! They are way too expensive, generally boring and full of people you rarely see who just want free food (and maybe drink).

I was working at a wedding a few weeks ago where the bride and groom wanted a full Irish breakfast to be served at 2am. For 300 people. It cost them and extra €1,800. Srsly.

I don't plan on getting married, but if I do it would probably be in a warm country with only a few people. And would still be a lot cheaper than most Irish weddings.

They are full of people you rarely see who want free food and drink.

Are you sure its weddings in Ireland you are referring to? The bride and groom invite who they want to be there and bar some mean guests the majority more than pay for their meal with the wedding gift. In fact I know of plenty people including myself who would rather not being invited to weddings as they are expensive for guests also.

admiralofthefleet

how can a wedding cost 29 grand?

so far mine has cost -

flowers - a gift from a family friend
cake - 300
cars - mate has a limo company so 300 for a vintage and a stretch limo
suits - 300 again, the fella who did my brothers suits so he is 'looking after' me
the reception - a gift from the brides parents
band - 1200 and the dj is a mate who is doing it for free
dvd - a lot of haggling brought the price down to 900
the dresses - she is getting them in debenhams and wont be spending more than 500 on the bridesmaids, hers wont be more then a grand
the church - 200 (more haggling)
honeymoon - a grand
rings - havent looked yet

few more things but they are not expensive. we got a double chocolate fountain for 400

a lot of cost can be haggled, word of mouth and who you know help a lot as well

Dolbert

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

how can a wedding cost 29 grand?

so far mine has cost -

flowers - a gift from a family friend
cake - 300
cars - mate has a limo company so 300 for a vintage and a stretch limo
suits - 300 again, the fella who did my brothers suits so he is 'looking after' me
the reception - a gift from the brides parents
band - 1200 and the dj is a mate who is doing it for free
dvd - a lot of haggling brought the price down to 900
the dresses - she is getting them in debenhams and wont be spending more than 500 on the bridesmaids, hers wont be more then a grand
the church - 200 (more haggling)
honeymoon - a grand
rings - havent looked yet

few more things but they are not expensive. we got a double chocolate fountain for 400

a lot of cost can be haggled, word of mouth and who you know help a lot as well

The reception meal is by far the most expensive part to be fair...
Having said that I won't be spending more than a couple of thousand

sh1tstirrer

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

how can a wedding cost 29 grand?

so far mine has cost -

flowers - a gift from a family friend
cake - 300
cars - mate has a limo company so 300 for a vintage and a stretch limo
suits - 300 again, the fella who did my brothers suits so he is 'looking after' me
the reception - a gift from the brides parents
band - 1200 and the dj is a mate who is doing it for free
dvd - a lot of haggling brought the price down to 900
the dresses - she is getting them in debenhams and wont be spending more than 500 on the bridesmaids, hers wont be more then a grand
the church - 200 (more haggling)
honeymoon - a grand
rings - havent looked yet

few more things but they are not expensive. we got a double chocolate fountain for 400

a lot of cost can be haggled, word of mouth and who you know help a lot as well

€1000 for the honeymoon. That's some bargain where are ye going and for how long?

googled eyes

Got married 3 years ago this December. Told our parents a week or so before hand that the day was coming. Registry office wedding, only important people there. Best day ever.

tobsey

My girlfriend and I are getting married next June. When we were talking about how many people we were going to invite I said how I was very fond of my mother's family, my aunts, uncles and cousins. My mam has 9 siblings so they are a big family. In the last 10 years we have all been together for my granny's funeral, my aunt's funeral, my uncle's wedding and my grandad's funeral. I know which of the four I prefered. So when deciding between a wedding with 30 guests or going all out and inviting both families we decided we wanted everyone there with us on the day.

I'm not sure if any of this applies to you OP. I don't agree with your parents requesting 60 friends and colleagues. We are struggling to get our parent's to pick a few close friends that they want to invite, never mind 60! Our list currently has 208 people in total, but we are not going to spend anywhere near 29k. The 208 isn't padded either, it's family and close friends.

11k - hotel
900 - Bride's dress & shoes
700 - Bridesmaid's dresses & shoes
300 - Bridal party hair and make up (I think, no idea TBH)
600 - Mens suits (6 including both fathers)
900 - Photogropher
550 - Cars (friend rate)
200 - Church donation (we have decided)
200 - Flowers (the flower committee in church will arrange so cost price)
270 - Pre-Marraige course and Registrar fee
1750- Band and DJ
5000- Honeymoon (haven't decided on this yet, less if possible but want it to be once in a lifetime style)

Total 22,370

I think that's everything. We should have at least 15k saved and will borrow for the rest if needs be. We could certainly trim that back a lot as well if we wanted. The hotel is 55 per head, we could have gotten it for ~30 in nice hotels but we liked the package we got. Photogropher could go because the pictures will probably on facebook by the end of the day. Cars could go. Band could go so just a DJ. That could knock at least 8k off the bill. Take away the honeymoon and you're well under 10k.

Each to their own I suppose but we felt we wanted to have everyone with us to celebrate. We have a daughter and bought our house three years ago so we feel as if our marriage is already started. We just want to enjoy making it official.