Teens and alcohol

Orion

Moonbeam wrote: »

Was it club shandy?
We used to get it here in gold cans.

I remember the cans of shandy too. They actually had alcohol in them and were carbonated kids drinks. Mind you this was a time where you could also buy candy cigarettes.

horsemeat

Fair enough, I may have crossed the line, won't happen again.

On topic, I don't think any parents should give their children alcohol under any circumstances. I think they should lecture and educate their children on the dangers of the drug and impress upon them that they don't have to engage in or contribute to the drinking culture that permeates through everyday Irish society.

horsemeat

fluffyorganic1 wrote: »

Speaking from my own personal experiences of cigarettes and alcohol, I'm 37 and managed quite easily not to consume alcohol during my 4 pregnancies but cannot say the same for cigarettes:(

you continued to smoke throughout your four pregnancies!!!!!!!!!?????! :eek:

westdub15

my dad told me when i was 15 that if i was to have a few drinks it was fair enough but not to smoke or do drugs or he'd kill me. fair deal i thought. was allowed 3 or 4 bottles of beer at family events, still went on the knack but generally was more sensible than the rest never came home in bits.

Orion

horsemeat wrote: »

you continued to smoke throughout your four pregnancies!!!!!!!!!?????! :eek:

You continued to troll through your warnings? Enjoy your time off.

krankykitty

Some amount of judgement in this thread... Fluffyorganic, seems like your son has his head well screwed on. In my experience of people I grew up with, while most experimented and ran amok to one degree or another, the worst ones were the kids whos parents were very forbidding about alcohol. Those who were used to being given an occasional beer by their parents were never the ones throwing up etc!

KittyeeTrix

krankykitty wrote: »

Some amount of judgement in this thread... Fluffyorganic, seems like your son has his head well screwed on. In my experience of people I grew up with, while most experimented and ran amok to one degree or another, the worst ones were the kids whos parents were very forbidding about alcohol. Those who were used to being given an occasional beer by their parents were never the ones throwing up etc!

Thanks Krankykitty:)

Believe me , he did run amok a bit in the early days of his experimenting with alcohol and we had to figure out what was the best approach to take with him once we found out that he was drinking.

We could either put in place a blanket ban which we knew would not work and would only encourage sneaking around and endless lies being bandied about or we could try to set up safety measures for nights he is out with mates.

It has worked!!! His dad collects him most nights and this deters him for going overboard. He has learnt not to touch spirits and he has slowed down his intake when out.....:)

I have to say I'm very happy with my 17 and a half year old and I wouldn't have our home life any other way. The house is relaxed and easy going, there aren't running battles as we've learned to compromise and treat him as the young adult that he is:) and he doesn't feel the need to act out around us at all. On the contrary, he will ask us if he can go out and takes the answer he gets with respect!!

krankykitty

Thats great that your approach seems to be working so well and im sure it makes the family life so much more peaceful when there doesn't have to be rows about it or your son doesnt have to sneak around.

I really think though, there's no right and wrong answers here it all boils down to the particular child. You could be prohibitive about alcohol and your teen could be sensible,or equally they could go nuts when they finally get a drink. Or you could be permissive, and they could still go nuts, or could be totally sensible. All you can do really is give them as much information and education you can about the risks involved and about drinking sensibly. Like it or not, there's a culture of drink in this country so shielding them isn't going to work forever. Seeing as one approach might or might not work with each individual child, I reckon parents should go easy on themselves (and each other!) as each individual teen is going to do what they're going to do, regardless of what their parent says

ash23

I have a fairly relaxed attitude to drinking. I drink at home sometimes and I enjoy a glass of wine here and there.
My mother totally forbid any of us to drink and there was never any alcohol in our home. We all drank fairly heavily as teenagers.
My daughter is only 9 but I think I probably will allow her an alcoholic drink in a few years, at family events and the like.
I don't think forbidding a teen or allowing them makes much of a difference either way. I think we all know our own kids best and what works for them.
And in my house I won't think twice about allowing her to taste alcohol if she asks to.

6328

Underage drinking is going to happen wether parents try and stop it anyway. There's ways around it all the time. Even if you stop buying drink for your child they will still find a way of finding it and getting it. And punishing the child til they are 18 will only make matters worse when they are older.

Mountainsandh

A lot of the to excess thing with youngsters is to show off in front of their peers imo. So when you let your child have the odd drink at home, or at a birthday party or something... it means that the day when they're right in the middle of peer pressure stage, then you give your child ammunition to stand their ground without losing face : "I don't need to go mental like you lads, it's no big deal for me, blah di blah".
He/She can safely drink less without being the most uncool kid on the block, because he/she will come across as "more mature".

And when you treat kids in a more mature way, they tend to strive to live up to it, not always, but often.

nowayjosie

Mountainsandh wrote: »

A lot of the to excess thing with youngsters is to show off in front of their peers imo. So when you let your child have the odd drink at home, or at a birthday party or something... it means that the day when they're right in the middle of peer pressure stage, then you give your child ammunition to stand their ground without losing face : "I don't need to go mental like you lads, it's no big deal for me, blah di blah".
He/She can safely drink less without being the most uncool kid on the block, because he/she will come across as "more mature".

And when you treat kids in a more mature way, they tend to strive to live up to it, not always, but often.

;)I agree Mountainsandh
The stricter the parents regarding alcohol or anything for that matter the more attractive the thing becomes, and from experience if the parents allow the teenager to have a little alcohol ie.. 2 or 3 bottles the teenager feels more of an adult and tends to act that way most of the time, I know of kids who were'nt allowed budge as teenagers -- no alcohol, no boyfriends/girlfriends etc... and by the time they hit their mid twentys they were crazy individuals!!! they just went off the rails.

mattjack

Some pretty good discussion about introducing a child to alcohol in a mature way and lots of people recounting their positive experiences of drinking when young and how they are planning to introduce their own children to alcohol

but I wonder are there people online who would admit to having negative experiences either through their own early introduction by parents or indeed introducing their own children to alcohol..

Squiggler

Interesting question mattjack. I don't know if I can answer it but I can provide further experiential evidence.

Neither of my parents drink very much (and neither have been inside a pub more than half a dozen times in their life) but there was always drink in the house. If we had visitors or it was a special occasion we would enjoy wine with a meal, and port, sherry, whiskey, gin and tonic or whatever would be offered, nobody would drink to excess, it was just part of the social occasion.

If there was wine with a meal we would be allowed to have some too, and we also tried other drinks growing up. I had one set of friends who had a similar experience.

Other of my friends had a traditional Catholic upbringing. Took the pledge as children and then at 17 and 18 found themselves in situations where they could drink.

When I started to socialise with these friends at events where alcohol was available I found that they tended to mix their drinks and to drink to excess - almost a "kid in a candystore" attitude. My friends who had grown up with alcohol available already knew what they liked or didn't like and also knew their limits.

The former tetotallers were frequently drunk and out of control while my friends from the other group tended to drink more responsibly, we would have one or two drinks socially, but knew our limits and were careful not to lose control of ourselves.

I spent a lot of time in my late teens and early 20s looking after former tetotallers from strict backgrounds who couldn't remember their own names, walk, talk etc.

At the end of the day every parent has to make their own decision, but responsibility is something that has to be taught by providing opportunities for it to be exercised. If there is no choice and no option provided to a child or young person they can't be responsible and can't learn how to be.

cynder

mattjack wrote: »

Some pretty good discussion about introducing a child to alcohol in a mature way and lots of people recounting their positive experiences of drinking when young and how they are planning to introduce their own children to alcohol

but I wonder are there people online who would admit to having negative experiences either through their own early introduction by parents or indeed introducing their own children to alcohol..

Well my grandparents fed my dad drink at an early age around 10 and they used to get him and his brother drunk, both were alcoholics and very very violent they were also sexually abused by a family friend and beaten to an inch of their lives by their parents, also they were brought up by over-religious parents, my dad turned to drugs at 15 left home and lived with his nan. Things however improved when he reached his late 30s.

Both died, my dad at 54 and his brother at 56 (within 6 weeks of eachother), neither died of a drink related illness. When my dad hit his 40s he had really mellowed out and had a chronic desease and his brother had a brain tumor. Their sister died at 24 from carbon monoxide posioning , she had a drink in her car after a row with her flat mate and left the car engine on, with a full tank of petrol, fell asleep and never woke up.

Theres a hugh difference between letting your child have a glass here and there and getting them drunk 1,2, 3 or 4 nights a week...

KittyeeTrix

mattjack wrote: »

Some pretty good discussion about introducing a child to alcohol in a mature way and lots of people recounting their positive experiences of drinking when young and how they are planning to introduce their own children to alcohol

but I wonder are there people online who would admit to having negative experiences either through their own early introduction by parents or indeed introducing their own children to alcohol..

Already did on the first page .
Son was drinking with friends on the quiet (vodka + buckfast)..... Got slaughtered and picked up by police!!!
We found out and set up nights out protocols (for want of a better term)..... Fast forward a year where he is now 17 and goes out for a night, has a few beers and doesn't act the gob****e around alcohol!

We can now talk openly about alcohol ie don't drink spirits and Bucky together etc

KittyeeTrix

Sorry mods fir the bad word. Posting in train from my mobile!!

Daisy M

mattjack wrote: »

Some pretty good discussion about introducing a child to alcohol in a mature way and lots of people recounting their positive experiences of drinking when young and how they are planning to introduce their own children to alcohol

but I wonder are there people online who would admit to having negative experiences either through their own early introduction by parents or indeed introducing their own children to alcohol..

Well as I previously said I would have been killed if I was caught drinking, so the awarness of this was that when I did start I kept it to a max of 4 as I knew I could cover up that amount. My friend was brought up by her dad who did not want her drinking either. But she used to go out and get so drunk she was camatose, obviously he found out but he didnt go beserk he took it in his stride and talked with her, it made no difference she continued the same drinking pattern and everytime she went out had to be helped home.
I think drink is something teens need to be educated on more there is no point in putting a ban on it and thinking that they will obey. They need to be aware of alcohol poisioning, to know when to look for help if they or a friend have overdone it and they are concerned. To be aware of how easily a drink can be spiked and signs of this too. To realise that been too intoxicated can make them vunerable and they could end up been taken advantage of or that they could be videoed/photographed in a compromising position. I was 22 before I realised that there was such a thing as alcohol poisioning or that someone could choke on their own vomit. When we were growing up we were just forbidden to drink and never told of any serious consequences.
My oldest is 14 and there is no way I would dream of allowing him or any of our children a drink at home until they are at least 16 after that we will see when the time comes.

cynder

Daisy M wrote: »

I was 22 before I realised that there was such a thing as alcohol poisioning or that someone could choke on their own vomit. When we were growing up we were just forbidden to drink and never told of any serious consequences.
.

I was 13 when i knew you could choke on your own vomit, due to river phoenix death in 1993 outside the viper owned by Johnny depp. Funny what stories you remember off sky news....... I also told my daughter about it when there was a question over Steven gately's death.... The what not to do's

Feisar

I used to love coming off the bog after footin a lock of turf as a young lad and having a Smithwicks shandy with Dad.

Daisy M

grindelwald wrote: »

I was 13 when i knew you could choke on your own vomit, due to river phoenix death in 1993 outside the viper owned by Johnny depp. Funny what stories you remember off sky news....... I also told my daughter about it when there was a question over Steven gately's death.... The what not to do's

I was 21/22 when this happened!! The info was probably staring me in the face but obviously never sank in! I do the same as you when Amy Winehouse died and the kids were watching it on sky news, I pointed out how healthy and happy she looked when she first started off and how terrible she looked when she was at the height of her drug addiction. I praised her talent and said it was a huge loss to her fans and pointed out how devestated her family are. As a parent I wont be able to police my children when they reach teen years but I will try and have them as informed as possible (without scareing them half to death).

cynder

Daisy M wrote: »

I was 21/22 when this happened!! The info was probably staring me in the face but obviously never sank in! I do the same as you when Amy Winehouse died and the kids were watching it on sky news, I pointed out how healthy and happy she looked when she first started off and how terrible she looked when she was at the height of her drug addiction. I praised her talent and said it was a huge loss to her fans and pointed out how devestated her family are. As a parent I wont be able to police my children when they reach teen years but I will try and have them as informed as possible (without scareing them half to death).

It was the main topic of conversation at our age group, aswell as he was a fine thing and had just stared in sneekers...... we tried to top eachother by how much info we had, we had sky news where as others only had rte and no internet...

My lady looked up amy winehouse alright but you never know what info the internet is going to give out, its not like my lady to check out sky news, she could go onto some facebook link (not trustworthy links, some are some arent). Celebs are perfect examples of what not to do...... My husband was next to her when it came on the news and gave her the full run down on it....

They cover a lot in 6th class and she can name of 15 types and names of illegal drugs, i think its part of the stay safe programme. she like to share how much she knows.....

mattjack

fluffyorganic1 wrote: »

Already did on the first page .
Son was drinking with friends on the quiet (vodka + buckfast)..... Got slaughtered and picked up by police!!!
We found out and set up nights out protocols (for want of a better term)..... Fast forward a year where he is now 17 and goes out for a night, has a few beers and doesn't act the gob****e around alcohol!

We can now talk openly about alcohol ie don't drink spirits and Bucky together etc

I didnt really mean that..

KittyeeTrix

mattjack wrote: »

I didnt really mean that..

Sorry Mattjack......:)

My bad, just re-read your post and got it in the context in which it was meant:o

amdublin

grindelwald wrote: »

I was 13 when i knew you could choke on your own vomit, due to river phoenix death in 1993 outside the viper owned by Johnny depp. Funny what stories you remember off sky news....... I also told my daughter about it when there was a question over Steven gately's death.... The what not to do's

River Phoenix died from a drug overdose - a cocktail of drugs. Went into convulsions while waiting on ambulance

Google it!

cynder

amdublin wrote: »

River Phoenix died from a drug overdose - a cocktail of drugs. Went into convulsions while waiting on ambulance

Google it!

The point being ........ it was discussed on tv that you can choke on your own vomit after drinking alcohol which was suspected in rivers death before the post mortem was done, also was discussed on tv when gately died. Both their deaths highlighted possible choke on own vomit senerios.

Orion

And with that we're done here.