One For The Wimmens

MonkieSocks

Why does it take millions of sperm to fertillize an egg?
Only one of them will stop and ask for directions.

Why doesn't a woman blink during foreplay?
She doesn't have time.

Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why doesn't a woman have the same size brain as a man?
Because she doesn't have a penis to keep it in.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
They were intended for children, but it's the men who usually end
up playing with them.

Why do men snore when they lie on there backs?
Because their balls fall over there assholes and they vapor lock.

Why does a man masturbate so much?
It's sex with someone who loves and understands him.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they won't hump your leg at cocktail parties.

Why did God make man before woman?
Rough draft.

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
So a man can tell if he's coming or going.

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Nobody knows-it hasn't happened yet.

Why does a man become smarter during sex?
Because he is plugged into a genius.

JohnnyBananas

What have men and floor tiles got in common?

If you lay them properly once you can walk over them for life.

How does a man change a lightbulb?

He just holds it in place and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eleven, one to change the bulb and another ten for him to boast to about what a great screw he just had.

What should a woman do if she sees her ex husband lying on the floor in agony?

Shoot him again.

Why did God invent thrush?

So women will know what it’s like to live with an irritating c*nt before they marry one.