Monday 'Uns

MonkieSocks

A man walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Line me up ten whiskeys."

So the barman lines them up and the man gulps them down one after another.

"Jeez!" says the barman, "What are you celebrating then?"

"My first blow job." replies the man.

"Oh well," says the barman, "for that I'll buy you one myself."

"No thanks," says the man, "If ten don't get rid of the taste, another one won't help!"

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Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce.

"OK," the judge said, "Tell the court why you want a divorce."

"Well, your honor," Dan started, "Every once in a while my sister in law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are so identical looking, every once in a while I`d end up making love to her by mistake."

"Surely there must be some difference between the two women." the judge said.

"You`d better believe there is a difference, your honor. That`s why I want the divorce." he replied.


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I just picked €500 up from the bookies



Had a double on Gaddaffi and Man U to get murdered in the same week

patmac

MonkieSocks wrote: »

I just picked €500 up from the bookies



Had a double on Gaddaffi and Man U to get murdered in the same week

They have set up a new helpline 016 161616

MonkieSocks

Alarm Clock Goes Off



Mrs Ferguson:...................................Wake up Alex, its 7 already!!




Alex: What? Hey? How? fookin hell have they scored another one???"