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Karl Pilkington in Japan
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28-10-2011 11:24am#1
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me-skywalker wrote: »I love Karl myself, think the man is a genius! He has created this character of himself and let it run wild its brilliant!! Can't wait to see him in Tokyo see if he went to any locations I was in!
I've always assumed that Karl is actually like that. That it is actually the way he is. That he really is a gormless, empty-headed moron. However maybe he is, indeed, only pretending to be a gormless, empty-headed moron! That it's all just an act.
Gervais and Merchant said that they have not created his character, and so I've been assuming that he is actually like that in real life. That he doesn't mean to be gormless and funny. If it is an act then the guy is an absolute comedy genius - Ricky Gervais has described him as being the funniest person in Britain - and watching him on An Idiot Abroad and An Idiot Abroad 2 just has me in absolute hysterics, with tears running down my face.
I've watched every episode of An Idiot Abroad several times. Then, yesterday, I bought An Idiot Abroad 2 from Asda. I watched three episodes last night and will watch more tonight. Just seeing him standing there in the Mongolian wilderness wearing the Mongolian wrestling uniform and explaining to the viewer how he can tell by looking at his "gormless-looking shadow" on the ground that he looks like a right nobhead had me in stitches.
Also hilarious was the bit when he went to a little village for dwarves in China in which there were miniature, oddly-shaped houses for them to live in. He phones Ricky's dwarf friend, named Warwick, and asked him to tell the viewers what a good idea a dwarf village is. But Warwick expalined that he thought it was a bad idea and that the dwarves are being exploited. Karl kept saying that, rather than being forced to do it, the dwarves actually seem to enjoy living there and performing in front of tourists. He said something along the lines of: "I've met a lady dwarf. She has only been here a few days and she's already living in her own mushroom."
I think An Idiot Abroad and An Idiot Abroad 2 should take their place in the pantheon of great British comedy series.
I also love his hilarious views on things, such as the subject of evolutionary mutation: 'The way we have nails on our toes, it would be good to have the same protective stuff on our heads and knees, because it can take a battering. Cyclists wouldn't need the helmets and that. But they wouldn't let it happen, would they? If you were born with a big nail on your head, they'd get the clippers out. With animals and insects they let them get on with it. Those two new flies, they haven't gone: quick, kill 'em. They've said: let's see what 'appens.
'In a way, they've interfered with evolution because we're not likely to evolve wings now because we've got planes. There are supposed to be more bald fellas about than there used to be, that's because we don't need hair as much. And supposedly nostrils are going to get bigger because the air is getting thinner, so there will be little changes like that, but they won't allow the big things to evolve, like three legs. They'd cut one of them off. They won't just let someone have an extra one and invent a bike with three pedals. Three legs could help a lot of businesses: bikes and shoe shops and stuff.'
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/3655386/The-idiot-philosopher.html
He also loves making comments about animals:
"At what point is a wasp ever going to have a chat with a spider?"
"[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. "
"In the sea you've got to be constantly sort of alert. It's worse in the sea [than anywhere else in the animal kingdom]. In the sea you've got an enemy behind every rock."
"People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?"
"They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle... get it locked up."
"It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating"
"I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'." - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus.
On why worms come to the surface when it rains - "So the rain's comin down on the land, the worm goes 'what's goin on?' So it goes up and it sorta sees it's rainin, and then it goes back down again dunnit?"
"They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science."
"I've been watchin birds more than insects recently, and the thing I've found with pigeons is: they've got wings but they walk a lot."
On Aesop's Fables
“...but it’s all about ‘a gorilla and a fox are walking thru the woods.’ How often does that happen?”
"That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog."
On Food
"I could eat a knob at night."
"But hummus. When did that happen?...but there's a restaurant down the road that that's all they do. That is isn't a proper meal, that's a side-order innit? That's like having a restaurant just floggin' tomato ketchup. Hummus isn't a meal. They don't even try and kid ya to get you in to flog you just hummus, they actually say "Oh it's hummus today." Not gonna work, they shut down within a month."
On Life
"They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else to drown it out at the time?"
"You can be an ugly baby and everyone goes "awww innit nice?" There was some women in a cafe the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about "oh the baby's lovely." They said it's got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn't sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I dont know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger. I dont know what kept me from sayin' it."
"Yeah but everyone was a saint years ago, that seemed to be thrown about back then. Who's a saint now, in this year, who's a saint? And yet this guy, lived in a hut in the woods, 'oh yeah that's Saint John or whatever.' He wasn't a saint, he did nothin" [Karl arguing with Steve and Ricky about Russain artifacts containing a portrait of a Russain Saint]
On Little People
"I've met a few little people in my time. I met a little fella once and he was alright. He got drunk really quick, err, but he was alright. But it took me by surprise -like I've said about when I met Steve for the first time, it's only that same thing, then if we lived together I'm sure we'd get on a storm"
On the possibility of meeting Warwick Davis- "The first time I see him, I'd be a little like, what should I say, what shouldn't I say? Whereas once you get to know him I'm sure he'd be a lovely little fella."
(On fun-sized chocolates) "I don't know why they're called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off."
http://www.pilkipedia.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Karl_Pilkington_Quotes_By_Topic0
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