Still born

jonevin

Hey all. Hope ye can relate to me tonight. My stepbrother has tonight found out that his baby is dead. Him and his girlfriend went For Their last scan ( only four weeks left) and have just been told the baby is dead. I mean it is so upsetting even though I'm not that close to them anymore, my heart is broken. I grew up with this guy all my life! ( my dad married his mom) he is such a loving soft hearted fella I don't know how he will cope with what's to come. She will be induced tomorrow. It's so very very sad. Don't know how I will support them over the next few days

Deki

I am so sorry. That is terrible news. Just hugs and let them talk it out if they want. My heart goes out to you all. So sorry...

Squiggler

I have been in your brother and his girlfriend's shoes. My heart breaks for them.

They will need a lot of love, support, understanding and time. Offer what help you can, be prepared for a no thanks but offer again the next time. Some things they will want to take care of themselves, some things they might think they're able for but find they're not.

If they want to talk listen, but don't push them if they don't want to.

jonevin

Thanks all for the replys x still in shock

Squiggler

Things that people did that helped us/stuff you could offer - it will be different in every case. (Our loss was sudden, during labour):

My Dad dealt with the undertaker, just asked what we wanted and then went and organised it. It meant that we could focus on grieving and supporting each other.

My brother offered to drive us anywhere we needed to go.

We stayed with my parents for a week afterwards, it was nice not to go home and face the baby things straight away.

They all prayed for us.

My sis arranged for us all to go out to dinner. We were all too upset and shocked to realise we were hungry, and I don't think any of us could have faced cooking. But we needed that dinner.

They will never fully recover, none of you will. It's been nearly 8 months for us and we all still fall apart from time to time.

God love you all.

I am a friend

I also think it's very important not to add your grief on top of theirs. You have every right to be upset but I would suggest that you are strong for them, when you see them, as they will need all the support they can get.

When my only sibling died I had a lot of people who were also upset expecting me to support them (other than my parebts) and I just wasn't able and resented the extra pressure.

God love them.

Payton

So sorry to here of your terrible situation to be in, all you can do is to be there for both of them, but also give them time on their own to come to terms with things.

Animord

Horrible situation and I am sorry for you all.

This might be worth reading - I had a friend who went through a similar experience and they were very helpful. (It's a charity that helps people who have had stillbirths or lost babies very early on).

jonevin

Thank you all so much but yes I will stay strong and just do whatever I can for them