Platonic Friendships - Bunch of BS

Kasabian

stupidusername wrote: »

K we could never be friends anyway

Why?

hondasam

stupidusername wrote: »

But it's not about where it would leave me if... If myself and the boyfriend break up and i've neglected my friends where would I be then? It depends on the friend and on the boyfriend,but thing is I can't see what problem would arise to bring about that anyway. I only stay friends with people who are decent,so they're worth spending time on as far as i'm concerned.when a boyfriend gets to the point where he's that important he'd have been around long enough to know none of them are a threat.

I see what you are saying but sometimes life is not so simple.I don't know many people who are friends with their ex's, ie as in socialise with them.
It depends on the length of the relationship, reason it finished but more often than not only one person wanted to end it.

stupidusername

hondasam wrote: »

I see what you are saying but sometimes life is not so simple.I don't know many people who are friends with their ex's, ie as in socialise with them.
It depends on the length of the relationship, reason it finished but more often than not only one person wanted to end it.

Yeah that's true,but then the real issue is trust.

stupidusername

Kasabian wrote: »

Why?

I've got no room for you :cool:

Kasabian

stupidusername wrote: »

I've got no room for you :cool:

I have use of a caravan, I can park it anywhere.

billybudd

Depends if your a paranoid control freak, i have plenty of female friends that have no interest in me in a romantic sence and vice versa.

Read an article in the herald today by victoria white who stated if a woman go so drunk and lay down on the ground then a man would take advantage of her, so you can tell where this sort of thing comes from, i have often made sure female friends got home safe after drinking a bit too much and last time i looked i am a man.

hondasam

stupidusername wrote: »

Yeah that's true,but then the real issue is trust.

we all play the trust card,for most it's jealousy and that's normal, to a point.

nicechick!

IMO you sound bitter!!

rounding tattenham Corner

that bloke who slept with the sweedish girl without getting any was funny, of course we all believe he did not wanted to tap her;)

Maybe it was like Paul Newman said "Why go out for a hamburger when you have steak at home"

as for me i think i've got a stake at home but that would not stop me getting a greesy hamburger every night of the week, if i get the chance

stupidusername

Kasabian wrote: »

I have use of a caravan, I can park it anywhere.

I didn't mean that kinda room

hondasam wrote: »

we all play the trust card,for most it's jealousy and that's normal, to a point.

It is normal to a point, but that's what I'm saying, it'd be acceptable to at least at first be a little awkward about your girlfriend being friends with an ex, but once you get to know her better, and see the relationship they have, surely it's more natural for that jealousy to taper off

hondasam

stupidusername wrote: »

It is normal to a point, but that's what I'm saying, it'd be acceptable to at least at first be a little awkward about your girlfriend being friends with an ex, but once you get to know her better, and see the relationship they have, surely it's more natural for that jealousy to taper off

being friendly is one thing but wanting your partner to be friends with your ex is a bit much.
if someone's ex is so important then why did the separate in the first place.

Couples with children have to meet ex's partners and for most it's a nightmare.

stupidusername

hondasam wrote: »

being friendly is one thing but wanting your partner to be friends with your ex is a bit much.
if someone's ex is so important then why did the separate in the first place.

Couples with children have to meet ex's partners and for most it's a nightmare.

I didn't say that they had to be friends, just that they would probably have to accept that I'd be staying friends.

hondasam

stupidusername wrote: »

I didn't say that they had to be friends, just that they would probably have to accept that I'd be staying friends.

sorry read it wrong, you meant getting to know you better not getting to know your ex Blonde moment stupi for me.

BBDBB

:rolleyes: jeez guys whatever happened to the old fashioned way? wishing you never saw the mad auld bitch again and telling lies about how horrible she was to your mutual friends

Dravokivich

BBDBB wrote: »

:rolleyes: jeez guys whatever happened to the old fashioned way? wishing you never saw the mad auld bitch again and telling lies about how horrible she was to your mutual friends

political correctness gone mad i tells ya!

Please Kill Me

Kinda gone off in a tangent here a little. To get back to the original topic, in my experience, NO!! Guys and girls can NOT be "just friends"!!! Sex and/or emotions always gets in the way. It's not possible, end of!!!!

parker kent

Please Kill Me wrote: »

Kinda gone off in a tangent here a little. To get back to the original topic, in my experience, NO!! Guys and girls can NOT be "just friends"!!! Sex and/or emotions always gets in the way. It's not possible, end of!!!!

The many millions of men and women that are friends and for whom sex has not "got in the way" disagree.

LH Pathe

probably quasi-relationship type twats, you know away from their actual partners they might have these who they likely dated as teens and are there for each other in any situation as pathetic proxy whore.

I think most relationships let alone friendships are platonic anyhow in these times. I am the soul survivor

Toby Take a Bow

Please Kill Me wrote: »

Kinda gone off in a tangent here a little. To get back to the original topic, in my experience, NO!! Guys and girls can NOT be "just friends"!!! Sex and/or emotions always gets in the way. It's not possible, end of!!!!

If sex and/or emotions get in the way, then it's not platonic.

If it's platonic, there are no sex and/or emotions (of that kind), so of course it works. For an example of how this works, examine your relationships with friends of the sex you're not attracted to. Platonic friendships work in an identical way to these friendships.

As an aside, I've remained friends with some ex-girlfriends. As long as the feelings subside, then friendship can work in this situation too.

Please Kill Me

Toby Take a Bow wrote: »

If sex and/or emotions get in the way, then it's not platonic.

If it's platonic, there are no sex and/or emotions (of that kind), so of course it works. For an example of how this works, examine your relationships with friends of the sex you're not attracted to. Platonic friendships work in an identical way to these friendships.

As an aside, I've remained friends with some ex-girlfriends. As long as the feelings subside, then friendship can work in this situation too.

My point is that one side or the other will/could have feelings for the other person. In theory, let's say I get on with a female neighbour. Let's say we've been "friends" for months. Now, over these few months, she develops feelings, emotional and sexual for me (but never says anything), then as far as I'm concerned it's a platonic relationship, when it's actually not!

LH Pathe

Truth is it doesn't work. Tried it but she just wanted to play quasi-relationship, wonder how many 'friends' she had on the go so Knew herself platonic or from her side at least, don't work so fair play to her for getting over it. And turning 5yr of friendship, from my side at least, to non-responsive dust. We were tight m-aaaan.. that she hooked up with a guy at approximately the same time was too coincidental. never understood the sexual innuendo from her side either. As a friend. sincerely

blue5000

Diddler82 wrote: »

It is very possible.

I have a very good female friend whom I have been friends with for 5 years now. She is in a commited long term relationship of 10 years.

Although I would consider her to be attractive she does nothing for me sexually and our friendship has never been the flirtatious / "get a room" type friendship. Her boyfriend is now a good friend of mine as a result and more so now they have moved to Australia. I have shared a bed with her and nothing has ever happened as it is not something either of us have even though about. She is a best friend in the male sense of the word, she does nothing sexually for me. I am 100% confident this is the same for her as she is very level headed and I have seen her walk away from potentially dangerous friendships in the past.

So although this is not the norm, it can happen and up until I mate this girl I didnt think it was possible.

I think maturity and awareness are the main factors involved. Having worked closely with a lot of girls when I was both single and with someone, you need to know when to distance yourself from a potentially risky situation as friendships and relationships can be damaged very easily.

Says it all right there.

timewilltell

I used to think they could, but having a close friend confess his feelings for me proved me wrong!

:O

Please Kill Me

timewilltell wrote: »

I used to think they could, but having a close friend confess his feelings for me proved me wrong!

:O

I had similar with a girl I used to work with. I thought we were "just friends" until one day she told me she loved me!!

Case closed!! It can't work!

Cianos

timewilltell wrote: »

I used to think they could, but having a close friend confess his feelings for me proved me wrong!

:O

Please Kill Me wrote: »

I had similar with a girl I used to work with. I thought we were "just friends" until one day she told me she loved me!!

Case closed!! It can't work!

No, it only proved that those particular relationship weren't platonic.

Personal experiences are getting in the way of logic here people.

timewilltell

Please Kill Me wrote: »

I had similar with a girl I used to work with. I thought we were "just friends" until one day she told me she loved me!!

Case closed!! It can't work!

Sadly i still work with my friend...awkward!

Cianos wrote: »

No, it only proved that those particular relationship weren't platonic.

Personal experiences are getting in the way of logic here people.

Well I suppose in my particular case I assumed it was and always would be platonic!

splendid101

I have a platonic relationship with this girl in work that I've been f*cking for the last few months.

Pompey Magnus

Cianos wrote:

Personal experiences are getting in the way of logic here people.

It seems to be that personal experiences are dominating the conclusions drawn on this thread.

From reading through this thread I think the unsurprising conclusion seems to be that some people are capable of having platonic relationships with friends of the other sex and some people are incapable of this. It just depends on the person.

Are platonic relationships possible and can they work? Absolutely.
Is everyone capable of having a platonic relationship? Apparently not.

DEFTLEFTHAND

If I'm not physically attracted to the person then yes I can have a strictly platonic relationship.
If I am attracted to them then the possibilty is always there for something more.:)

spanky7796

im best friends with a male and we dont sleep together , hes married has a beautiful wife who is pregnant and we talk every day on the phone at least 2-3 times a day, he comes to see me once a week and we spend the day together, we will be hopefully opening a business together after the new year, so platonic friendships can happen its a matter of decency and trust and morals, im not a model but im not dog ugly either im average and hes average too i wouldnt say hes a model either but not dog ugly so yes friendships can be like that its down to the ppl that are friends to take it further , but id rather keep my best friend and he would agree

adomino

im invisible wrote: »

whats the difference between the girls you were getting with and her?

The girls you were with wanted Caucasian, whereas she...

hahahahaha sorry you're thinking along the same lines as me here...

its not that she didn't want caucasian it was something else...


"Not at all, hot hot hot.. Everyone wanted her. But neither of us wanted caucasian."

might be very rare for a hot hot hot possibly tall'ish swedish girl to minus out ALL caucasians just for 'vietnamese' guys, like not even japanese even.

this is interesting...

so since you were just friends and not at all into each other, i take it you've slept with guys too? they are your friends too you know

YES we ALL want to see your model viet GF photos or GTFO!


BS = the abbreviation for Bull **** not Bi-Sexuality in this context.

Toby Take a Bow

Please Kill Me wrote: »

My point is that one side or the other will/could have feelings for the other person. In theory, let's say I get on with a female neighbour. Let's say we've been "friends" for months. Now, over these few months, she develops feelings, emotional and sexual for me (but never says anything), then as far as I'm concerned it's a platonic relationship, when it's actually not!

You may have thought it was platonic, but it wasn't. You also realise that technically this could happen to any of your male friends?

stupidusername

timewilltell wrote: »

Sadly i still work with my friend...awkward!

Can you not just get on with things,carry on as normal?

I have plenty of female friends. But there's only a handful who I would maintain regular contact with in genuine friendships, oddly enough I've slept with these people in the past. My thinking on that is we got the tension out of the way by sleeping together and that is why the friendships are now uncomplicated and mutually beneficial. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that a guy/girl can exist in a platonic relationship, but only if they initially have the sex:pac:

kylith

Most of my friends are male, and most of them have girlfriends. I find male friendships more fulfilling than female ones because they are more likely to have the same interests as me (gaming, sci-fi, similar taste in literature). My BF has no problem with me having male friends. I know that one of my friends has had problems with past girlfriends thinking that I'm up to something, but his current missus and I get on well.

I grew up without sisters, so male company is much more natural for me.

Gyalist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zywIR_ZFLts

Jayob10

always wary of the line "I just don't get along with girls the way I get along with lads, ive far more male friends than female friends"

have male friends no problem, but what is it about ya that doesn't let you bond with other women???

stupidusername

Jayob10 wrote: »

always wary of the line "I just don't get along with girls the way I get along with lads, ive far more male friends than female friends"

have male friends no problem, but what is it about ya that doesn't let you bond with other women???

for me, I don't know! you'd have to ask the ones that don't like me i'm happy enough with the friends I have so don't care at the moment.

Kanoe

Jayob10 wrote: »

always wary of the line "I just don't get along with girls the way I get along with lads, ive far more male friends than female friends"

have male friends no problem, but what is it about ya that doesn't let you bond with other women???

I had a kid when I was young most of my female friends found a child caused too much interference in our friendship and fúcked off shortly after that, most of the male ones stuck around and it's been that way ever since.

LighterGuy

Majority of seeming platonic friendships between a man and woman have a past in my experience.

- they had a few dates didn't work out, now friends.
- they were f**k buddies at one point.
- they randomly hooked up. hence how their "friendship" started.
- One fancied the other.

kylith

Jayob10 wrote: »

always wary of the line "I just don't get along with girls the way I get along with lads, ive far more male friends than female friends"

have male friends no problem, but what is it about ya that doesn't let you bond with other women???

I have no sisters, so I grew up around men. I reckon that's probably it.

Jayob10

Kanoe wrote: »

I had a kid when I was young most of my female friends found a child caused too much interference in our friendship and fúcked off shortly after that, most of the male ones stuck around and it's been that way ever since.

what do you think that says about women though? bearing in mind you are a woman yourself obviously.

would you say most female mates would have f*cked off, or just your female mates?

also out of interest, were any of these male mates exes?

not having a pop at all, i'm just curious

LighterGuy

Jayob10 wrote: »

always wary of the line "I just don't get along with girls the way I get along with lads, ive far more male friends than female friends"

have male friends no problem, but what is it about ya that doesn't let you bond with other women???

Knew a girl who once said that.
It all came out about her and her 'promiscuous' ways - Sleeping with a bunch of the guys with in the social circle & cheating on various boyfriends ... Total slut.

But sure if you asked her she'd say shes a lovely girl who wouldnt dare cheat :rolleyes:

Kanoe

Jayob10 wrote: »

what do you think that says about women though? bearing in mind you are a woman yourself obviously.

would you say most female mates would have f*cked off, or just your female mates?

also out of interest, were any of these male mates exes?

not having a pop at all, i'm just curious

Don't think I'm in a position to judge all women based on my experiences with them. They were at their most in their early twenties at the time so they had their own priorities and lives to live. None of the men were exes but they were aware of the situation/relationship with the childs father. I still know all the guys I knew when I was in my late teens or who I went to school with. My best male friend has been around for the last 17 years. men are much more loyal than women in my experience. (You can read into that what you like but I've never had a phsyical/romantic relationship with any of them.)

[edit:just to add, my closest female friend who I lived with at the time gave me an ultimatum: it was her or the kids father (who she didn't want in the house) and being that I didn't want to screw up the childs relationship with her dad I left and I haven't seen her since. that was 16 years ago.]