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Chronicles of a fish: the days of surf and turf
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IronMan Maryland
Saturday, September 20th, 2014
Cambridge, Maryland
Okay, let me start my report (the length of which is commensurate with the length of the race it's reporting, so you might want to put the kids to bed and get a pot of coffee brewing
) by saying I blame catweazle 100% for getting me into this IM adventure, for without his smooth talking, prodding and seed planting, I never would have had the opportunity to be so influenced by all you folks with your dreamy logs and shiny medals. Sure, I haven't been blind to the passages about the long hours of work and dedication it takes to train for an iron distance event (Izoard and griffin excluded 
)...and sure, I didn't overlook the graphic and grueling descriptions of what can happen to the body and mind while out of there on the course come race day (Izoard and griffin included)....but I had read enough of your logs to know that I wanted to try - I wanted to see what I could do and if I could be competitive at something that seemed so outrageous to a person who had very limited experience in triathlon, and even less experience on the bike. But I had no serious intentions of trying until 2015 as my focus this year was on Eagleman 70.3....no serious intentions, that is, until injury struck, and my subsequent stubbornness and stupidity of trying to train through my hip flexor cost me the opportunity to dance at my "A" race. I was devastated, to say the least. So, what does Dory do to make herself feel better?? She signs up for a freakin' full IronMan! Woo hoo!!! Yes!!! <high five> That'll serve that hip flexor right for screwing up my half. Yep, in my period of self-pity, I closed my eyes and held my breath then signed up for IM Maryland - the same venue of Eagleman, but double the distance. I did the math and figured I'd probably have 2 1/2 solid months of training to prepare me after coming off two months of injury induced rest from running and cycling, which I knew wasn't ideal, but I figured it would be enough time to get me through this event in one piece.
I traveled to Cambridge, Maryland with two girlfriends - one was doing the event with me, and the other was volunteering at it. We took off Thursday morning with our bikes on top of the vehicle and the car packed with gear and junk food - Oreo cookies, pretzels, Gummi Bears and Swedish Fish - all IronMan approved, I do believe. We arrived at the hotel shortly after 1 pm, unpacked the car, went on down to registration where we got all the "free" <cough> stuff they give you when you check in, and then we attended the mandatory briefing that was pretty dang informative for a first timer like me.
Friday was a very low key day - we racked our bikes and handed in our gear. Then we pretty much rested the remainder of the day. There is one thing I will note, however - I did consume food items I don't normally consume on a regular basis. I am a lover of all things seafood, so since we were at the shore I ordered Creamy Crab Chowder (it was a little spicy), crab cakes, fried oysters and french fries for my late lunch....and then later that evening I had steamed rice and a deep fried egg roll from the Chinese restaurant next to the hotel. And as I sit here and type this I have to wonder if my meal selections did not contribute to my tummy troubles the next day while running?? Not only do I not have access to crab and oysters on a regular basis (therefore I don't consume them on a regular basis), but I also hardly ever eat fried food. Hmmm...
Race day.....
....had finally arrived!!! OMG!!!! OMFG!!! :eek: I think this was more scary than exciting for me. I had several of you tell me how excited you were...and how excited you were for me, but I honestly never got that tingly feeling as this event drew near. My problem was that I could not grasp the enormity of what I was about to do. I was entering the crazy zone - doing something so ridiculous that I couldn't even fathom what it was going to be like, and I honestly could not understand anything about it other than it was going to be a very long day. In the days leading up to this event when I would mull over how I might do, I had convinced myself of all sorts of nonsense that ran the full gamut of outcome scenarios. But with my 140.6 mile journey very literally about to begin as I stood at the water's edge in my pink cap and wet suit (and with a blue (Pikeman?) cap Oryx had given me long ago tucked under the pink cap for good luck), like magic, my race face appeared and I was ready to take on the task at hand in a very business like manner. It was go time, baby!!
The Swim
The start to the swim was a rolling, self-seeded start and I was instructed to go with the sub 60 group - not necessarily because I was expecting to go a sub 60, but more because I would be amongst similarly abled swimmers - implying that some seed with their egos and not with reality. So I hopped in the sub 60 group, but I stayed in the back (wrong move!) and right away I was swimming over other swimmers (let the record show, I was trying to be polite about maneuvering around/over them, but I certainly didn't stop to apologize!). I definitely should have been more aggressive when lining up as it probably took a good 800 meters to get things fairly sorted, so lesson learned.
Once things settled, I got into a nice rhythm and kept my body and mind very relaxed. Sighting went well, and there was not too much chop in the water. I found some feet on that first loop that I took advantage of for a while, but when we turned to begin our second loop, I went ahead of the swimmer and was immediately on the hunt for a new pair of feet. I found that second pair of feet not too far away and caught a decent ride for a short piece, but damn if he didn't stop and tell me to go on when I touched his feet a few times. !! Really?? Note to self: while catching a wave, stay stealth! From that point on I drove it home by my lonesome (singing "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming..."), however I was in the midst of the slowest swimmers who were still on their first lap - and it was quite congested!! Ugh. This time I was a little more abrupt (while still trying to be polite) about passing them...I was on a mission to find my exit to the next adventure with the knowledge that not many had exited the water ahead of me, and suspecting I'd be in the lead in my age group. All good.
1:04:40...1st in division, 7th in gender, 33rd overall
What I learned from the swim: Be more aggressive at the start and elbow my way to the front of the line...and there is a definite advantage to single loop and point to point courses as you won't have the congestion to fight on the second half.
T1
I don't know what you folks think, but by Dory standards, this was a very good transition!!! And I beat pgibbo by a mile in his Copenhagen T1!! (P, if you need some transition pointers, I'm here for ya babe!)
If you haven't done an IronMan, you probably have not experienced the willingness of the volunteers to help you. From the fanny peelers wet suit strippers just itching to yank that suit off of you (yes, I did take advantage of this very fun service!), to the folks retrieving your transition bags, to the gals in the women's changing tent, and to the kids applying liberal amounts of sun cream all over your arms, legs and back...I was well taken care of and they made sure I had everything I needed to get me on my bike in good form.
5:51
The Bike
I found the Black Cat on the rack just where I left her, and she was raring to go. I trotted to the mount line after a shout out from super star triathlete Leslie DiMichele who was spectating, and I was off and pedaling. I had slapped on my heart rate monitor in transition, and I planned on working off of that for the bike to ensure that I stayed smart and not greedy...and I had even changed the display on my Garmin to show only elapsed time, distance, lap pace, and heart rate to ensure the numbers would be big enough for me to see with the ease of a quick glance. Unfortunately, I forgot to designate the distance to mark each lap (this was the first time I used the "race" segment of the Garmin), thus my lap distance is the entire 112 miles. Oh well. But it may have been for the best, because the displayed lap pace was then my average pace for the ride, so I knew at all times I was hitting my goal to go a sub 6 hours on the bike, which made me very happy and reinforced the idea that cycling off of HR was working.
Because I was among the first to exit the water, and because I know I am a weak cyclist, I was braced for a zillion lycra clad lads (and a half a zillion lasses) to come zooming past me...and they did not disappoint. They came in all sizes and shapes perched on top of all sorts of steeds making all kinds of whooshing noises as they blew past. I didn't let it bother me in the least. I was going ~19 mph with my HR averaging 135-140, and I was happy as a clam. Happy as a clam until the drafters started coming. Good god, they are like a freight train chugging by you - you can not only hear the energy, but you can feel it as they pass. I just shook my head at their lack of shame but figured it wasn't my problem...until the first brazen hussy in my age group was part of the cheating, and then I was personally involved. And her bold comment to me while she passed, "yes, this is drafting"....I mean, what that heck was that?? From that point on I had to hold back from shouting what I thought of the drafters as they rolled by me...and when the second lady in my age group was tucked in another group of cheaters, I was steamed even more. How can they look themselves in the mirror, especially if they are in contention for a place on the podium, or worse yet, a Kona slot? A cheater is a cheater, and there is no room for that in sport. If you can only win by consciously taking an unfair advantage, then you are neither respectable nor worthy as an athlete in my book....you are pathetic.
But, there were also a lot of honest and decent folks out there too....and a fair number of the guys were kind of flirty, which was nice to break up the monotony. I heard comments about my kit, my calves, and was told a few dirty jokes. And the spectators along the way were inspiring too, like the guy who was wearing nothing but a very small sign covering his man parts. Barely. I have no idea what the sign said, but I gave him a very enthusiastic thumbs up when I passed.
The bike was a two loop course that was flat and rather boring. The roads were in fair condition, but rough in patches with standing water in a few places from the changing tide. The wind honestly was not as bad as it could have been, but when it did rear its ugly head I just made myself as small as possible and told myself that I had an advantage over a lot out there because of my size. Positive thinking was the order of the day! I tried to take on a gel, blok, Snickers Bar, or salty almond bar every 30 minutes or so, watching my caloric intake and trying to consume ~250 calories every hour, and alternating between water and Gatorade to hydrate me.
Because I have never grabbed a bottle of water on the fly, and because I have a refill bottle system on my bars, my original plan was to stop at the aid stations when needed and not risk crashing or screwing something up by snatching it on the move...but a funny thing happened on my way to needing a water refill, I found my cycling confidence (with a bit of road ownership sprinkled in) (crazy how a little IronMan can do that to you) and I threw caution to the wind and reached out for the first bottle offered at the nearest station. And....I dropped it. 
But no mind, I tried again. (Thank god for the solid line of chipper volunteers with outstretched arms holding what was the focal point of my life at the very moment.) And....success!!! I quickly dumped the water into the refill opening, then tossed the bottle before I exited the trash zone. Talk about feeling like I belonged in the club! It was empowering. !!!
As empowering as grabbing a bottle on the fly is, I failed at another task I had set out to do - peeing on the bike. I had decided that I would break new ground and give it a go to save time...figured it'd be easy as pumpkin pie, but it turned out to much more complicated than I ever imagined. With a very full bladder, I tried. I tried while in the down position, I tried while sitting up. I tried while slightly elevated off the seat, and I tried leaning to one side. I just couldn't do it. So after cycling with my teeth floating for way too long, I gave up and stopped to relieve myself in the comfort of a tipsy porta potty.
As I was nearing the end of the 112 mile ride, I calculated I was in 4th, and I was feeling good. The last few miles were through the town of Cambridge, so they were a good bit slower than the previous 100+ miles due to the twists and turns of the neighborhood roads and the congestion of the other cyclists on the narrowing streets...and in my mind this was a good thing because it allowed me to decompress and get ready for the run. I knew as I closed in on transition that I had come in under 6 hours with an average pace of 19 mph while maintaining my heart rate, so I was beyond delighted.
5:53:02...4th in division, 59th in gender, 411th overall
What I learned from the bike: I need to become stronger and more powerful on the bike to be seriously competitive. Period. To see the ease at which I was being passed, especially early on, reinforced how weak I am.
T2
Another awesome transition by yours truly! (Remember, we are talking Dory standards! Or we can employ the pgibbo standards and make me look REALLY good!;)) And talk about being pampered - after you dismount your bike, a perky volunteer lovingly snatches your steed and looks after it until you are long gone. This, dear readers, is what you are paying for with the IronMan brand.
5:53
The Run
Off and onto the course, but immediately I could feel something flapping about on my ankle. My shoelace!! Ugh...in my haste I forgot to double knot my shoelaces, so I had to stop and tend to the matter. All resolved, and off I went again. My plan was to ease into the run...to start out nice and slow for a few miles, then try and up the pace, all the while keeping myself in a happy place for as long as possible. I had done the math and estimated that I was approximately just over 7 hours into the race and thought if I could keep an average pace of 9 to 10 min/mile that I'd have an 11 to 11:30 IronMan in my pocket...and while I was feeling that it was not an unreasonable ask at that moment, I also knew a lot could happen in those 4 plus hours I estimated I was facing.
And oh how a lot did happen in those 4 plus hours. Ugh. All was going well initially, but somewhere within the first 8 miles my tummy started to act up. I tried to ignore it, but it became obvious it was not going to resolve on its own, so I popped into a porta potty to give myself some relief. I felt much better and was starting to hold a relaxed and rhythmic 9 min/mile pace. I also was very mindful to stay nice and hydrated as the sun was in full blaze and the last thing I needed was to dehydrate. Unfortunately my relief was temporary and the repeating theme for the remainder of the run was: run a few miles, then hit a loo...and grab water, gatorade, and orange slices at every aid station. It was miserable in that sense, but the running itself honestly wasn't horrible. Each time I started again I could relax and make each stride and arm pump as effortless as possible, and while my pace was quite slow with all my stop and gos, I was surprised it wasn't slower. There was never a single moment when finishing was in doubt...from my perspective, I was dealing with a mere manageable annoyance.
The run was a three time out and back, so I got to see a lot of runners over and over again...and I got to see many of them wilt before my eyes. I may have been dealing with my own set of issues, but I never felt nearly as awful as some of them looked, and I never once walked between water stations...that was neither an option nor a desire. I just kept smiling to those who called out my name, and I showed my appreciation to the volunteers along the way.
As the marathon wore on, I realized I had no idea where I was in the mix. I figured I was totally out of podium contention by the halfway point - figured that was off the table - so my only goal at that moment was to finish in respectable form. I also knew that it was going to be tight finishing under 12 hours, but I didn't realize just how tight. I saw my brazen lady drafter friend along the road at some point, and smiled with the knowledge that she must've blown up along the way and got what she deserved. I drew great pleasure in the thought that not only was she a cheater, but in my eyes she was also a quitter.
I kept my eyes peeled for any gals in my age group, but there were only two the entire time I was out there I saw pass me - one about a third through the last lap (and she looked way too comfortable for me to seriously challenge) and the other near the last mile of the race. I knew as soon as the second gal passed me around the 24 mile marker that she was out of gas, while I, on the other hand, still had enough left in my tank to overtake her with ease. And I did. With about a half a mile left I blew past her, and I never looked back. In fact, I overtook a few men on that last bit too, and I finished with a smile on my face and in very decent shape for what I had just been through.
Immediately after crossing the finish line, a volunteer was waiting to be my personal escort and care taker until he was sure I was okay and had everything I needed - medal, mylar blanket, water, chocolate milk. And I was okay. But as I sat on the grass all by myself (my one girlfriend was still on the course with about 90 more minutes to go, and my other friend was volunteering), I was still quite nauseated, so I walked myself over to the medical tent to be around people who could look after me a little. They took my vitals, gave me Power Ade to drink and something to settle my stomach...and then sent me back on my way after about 30 minutes of observation. I made it back in plenty of time to see my friend cross the line, which was great to be there waiting for her as she became an IronMan. We hugged and congratulated each other with as much pomp and circumstance as one can muster after such a day, then we sat on the ground and shared war stories for a very long time while new IronMen were being crowned to the constant and exponentially increasing annoying chorus, "Jack Sprat, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!!!!" repeated in the background. And in our giddy fatigue, we found ourselves mocking the announcer by imitating him with great zest and animation to the point we were cracking ourselves up with our silliness. And for some reason this silliness and playful mockery of something so repetitive and symbolic of our day seemed perfect commentary on the substantial accomplishment that we had just achieved.
4:51:31...6th in division, 81st in gender, 426th overall
What I learned from the run: Porta potties get more and more disgusting as the race goes on, and you care less and less about how disgusting they are as the race goes on......and, never ever let them see you sweat.
Total race time: 12:00:57
What I learned about IM distance: The only way to understand the distance is to do it....and now that I've done it, I have context. I also suspect it takes more than 16 weeks of IM specific training to have the result resemble your ability - my guess is it might take 2 years of grooming and a few iron distance events under your belt, but that's just my uneducated and personal guess. I also have a greater appreciation of how much can go wrong during those 140.6 miles. The distance is tactical and challenging, and you have to stay smart and not let greed get the better of you. Will I do it again? Gosh, after some soul searching and honest performance evaluation, I think I have to.
And to wrap up this report that has taken me nearly as much time to write as the IM did to complete....a very sincere thanks again to interested and ecoli for unselfishly sharing their talents and helping me in this endeavor...and a load of gratitude to everyone here on boards, because without this forum and your logs (and I mean all of your logs!), I never would have considered attempting such an insanely rewarding task.0 -
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Fantastic effort DD, but nothing we would not expect.
Love the way you took the rival down in the last two miles ! I am only surprised you did not actually swerve across to run over "brazen lady" the leaving foot prints across her back and make sure she was down for good 0 -
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I saw my brazen lady drafter friend along the road at some point, and smiled with the knowledge that she must've blown up along the way and got what she deserved. I drew great pleasure in the thought that not only was she a cheater, but in my eyes she was also a Quitter.
Haha merciless! Finally the cold hearted assassin raises it's head from the parapets
* must omit any mention of walking in future races
Any thoughts to where next years IM will be. Was Maryland good enough to do again or will you look somewhere else. How many slots went in your age grade and did the winner take up the offer?0 -
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I saw my brazen lady drafter friend along the road at some point, and smiled with the knowledge that she must've blown up along the way and got what she deserved. I drew great pleasure in the thought that not only was she a cheater, but in my eyes she was also a Quitter.
Haha merciless! Finally the cold hearted assassin raises it's head from the parapets
* must omit any mention of walking in future races
"Cold hearted assassin"?? Just don't f*ck with me when I'm racing and we'll get along just fine. And I have to admit, as I passed her on the run I hissed "cheater" under my breath with a very satisfying internal grin. The only thing that stopped me from audibilizing "cheater" in robust fashion for everyone to hear was the fact that it would have taken energy to do so, and I still had quite a few miles to run!
And regarding your "*".....she actually quit the race, as in, she stopped running and didn't finish. Really. So you're safe mentioning walking in your race reports. See, I can be warm hearted too. Oh, and look, I even use the smiley face emoticon quite liberally, thus further indicating just what a warm heart I have! Any thoughts to where next years IM will be. Was Maryland good enough to do again or will you look somewhere else. How many slots went in your age grade and did the winner take up the offer?
I've been looking at the IronMan options...even had another look at your Nice race, but that would be a long shot for me I think, not to mention those 5,000 feet of climbing on the bike before a full marathon. :eek: But the ones I am seriously considering are Lake Placid, Louisville, Chattanooga (assuming there is one in 2015...the appeal for me is the point to point swim), and Maryland. Maryland was okay - the big plus to doing Maryland again is familiarity I now have with the location and course (unless they change the course, that is). And it's the closest one to me.
I did not attend the awards ceremony since I did not make the podium, so I have no idea how many slots went in my age grade (I would assume only one as there were only 30 slots offered), and I also haven't a clue if the winner took the offer or if it rolled down. Not even sure if that info is available on the internet, but I'm sort of curious, so if you know how to find that out then please let me know! 0 -
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Your opponent cheated, then quit? Clearly karma works
She did...and it does.
Apologies that my race report was not clear - I recognized her immediately when she was on the side of the road on the run and I deduced she was out of the race then....and Kurt corroborated all that with his live-time post that she was out by mile 21.x, thus giving me satisfaction for a second time.With you looking for age grade placings you should be looking at races with a strong likelihood of non wetsuit and a tough hilly course which will suit your training environment and break up those brazen hussy drafters. From what I heard about Maryland it's a bit like Florida offering a fast and flat bike which will suit the power merchants
Yep...you're actually right about the wetsuit and hills for me. Question: will IronMan add more races to the 2015 schedule? Or is what I see it?0 -
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