Neighbour slapped my child.

meitina

I'm shocked at what happened.What I need is an advice to do the right thing.
Boy age 8 got attacked and slapped in face for touching my neighbours car as it drove past.
I did not see that ,my son would not tell me anything ,as I understood ,he was frightened .
I heard it from a witness .When confronted ,the man was very sorry ,told me he did overreacted.:mad:
As far as the conversation went I said that it is very upsetting for me ,but im willing to let it go if he promises to talk to me before deciding on slapping.
Now I found that my son actually wetted himself on the spot.:mad:

Moonbeam

What exactly happened?
He touched a moving car?
Did the guy panic and hit him because he got a shock or did her hit him because he didn't want finger prints on his car?

audi a4 2008

at least he has said sorry to u,and should also say sorry to youre son,
but in the bigger picture of things why was youre son so close to the car,god forbid if he slipped /got pushed where would you be then,
also who was minding youre son while he was outside

Seth Brundle

meitina wrote: »

As far as the conversation went I said that it is very upsetting for me ,but im willing to let it go if he promises to talk to me before deciding on slapping.

How exactly will that work? Will you discuss it and if he puts forward good reasons, then he can slap your kids?

meitina

But would you firstly hit a child in face because you tought you hit passing by???
Yes ,thats what he says,and that he really did not slapped him.But my witness says otherwise.

mikemac

Could have been shock.
Neighbour was frightened and maybe afraid the child could had fallen under the car.

So just grabbed the lad and "what were you thinking???"

I'd say the driver got a bigger fright and was more shaken then your son

Leave it be

Or...........it's just past Hallowen, maybe your son make a throwing motion like they were going to throw a banger and the driver stood on the brakes and swerved.

Just throwing out my first reactions

meitina

kbannon wrote: »

How exactly will that work? Will you discuss it and if he puts forward good reasons, then he can slap your kids?

Well it so to speak.If something my son does bothers you-you talk to me,no need in hitting!

Orion

Let's see if I have this straight ...
A man slapped an 8 year old child in the face.

Is that correct?

That is assault no matter what way it is spun.

My initial reaction would be to call the guards. However, if he genuinely apologised and admitted his over-reaction then I'd let it be. He may have done it through shock that he may have hit the kid with his car because of the kid's behaviour. If you can talk to him and he accepts that what he did was unacceptable then lessons are learned and you can move on.

kbannon: I think there may be a language barrier here. I don't think the OP meant that it's ok to hit her child once you tell her about it

nesf

I think you did the right thing bringing it up with your neighbour. What would concern me would be whether there was any malice in it. I can completely understand getting a big shock in such a situation and overreacting. The important thing is to get your neighbour to apologise and make up with your son.

I really see no reason to get the Gardaí involved in this if your neighbour is genuinely sorry for what happened.

Morlar

meitina wrote: »

.... for touching my neighbours car as it drove past.
.

A lot depends on what this part actually means.

ShaunC

An 8 year old in the street as a car drives by. I think there are more serious issues than a slap to concern us all. While I don't condone anyone hitting a child that slap could save the child's life in the long run.

How Strange

I don't condone slapping but I think perhaps there are two sides to the story. In my (limited) experience of children they tend to say nothing when they've done something wrong.

The neighbour should not have hit your child, you've spoken to him and he has admitted as much. However you need to speak to your son too because if he's messing around and doing silly things which could be dangerous then he needs to know he could be hurt or killed.

You certainly shouldn't justify the slap but you should talk to your son about what happened just before.

Jerri Jordan

The neighbour was prob shaken thinking he almost hit your son.
he shouldnt have been hit but you should be telling him that its extremely dangerous to get so close to a moving car. accept the apology from the neighbour,they prob feel as bad as you with a huge amount of guilt thrown in too.

the_syco

meitina wrote: »

I did not see that ,my son would not tell me anything ,as I understood ,he was frightened

Try asking your son tomorrow what he did for the day today; asking directly he may clam up, but asking indirectly you may find out what happened.

You may also find out if/why your son decided to hit a moving car.

meitina

There is not more to read in to.the boy was standing on the green ,it is an estate not road.He stands on the green ,the car very slowly goes around a corner .the boy slaps the car with is palm on the back of the car.
the man stops the car ,jumps out ,slaps the boy across his face.
Later he said that he did not really slap him,that it look like he slapped him.
he was apologetic ,but i am not convinced ,he lied to me.
I now know ,he has hit another boy in our estate .
I know that the kids ,so is my son ,can be bit of hassle .Many times the hop around without looking ,when i drive,but not once i would lose my temper like that.

Stench Blossoms

What the man did was wrong but was probably out of shock. BUT, if he has done this before to another child I think you should report it to the Gardai.

You should teach your child that no matter how slow a moving car is going he shouldn't touch it.

mikemac

People react when they get a fright, I got knocked once and started laughing, sounds stupid but it happens. This guy gave a slap, the driver got a fright

Slap a moving car and you can slip and have your arm under the back wheel so at least that didn't happen

Your son got a fright, he won't do it again and the man apologized

Leave it be

In the long run, your son learned a lesson
Now if it was an accident and he kicked a football by mistake off a car, well that happens and I'd be furious at him getting a slap

But slapping moving cars is just not right and a bit worrying

MagicMarker

I am frankly amazed at the responses in this thread.

A grown adult got out of his car and slapped and 8 year old child in the face, but it's okay because he apologised? And he's done it before!?!

Call the guards, no ifs or buts.

rubberdiddies

MagicMarker wrote: »

I am frankly amazed at the responses in this thread.

A grown adult got out of his car and slapped and 8 year old child in the face, but it's okay because he apologised? And he's done it before!?!

Call the guards, no ifs or buts.

It's hard to know what to do in this situation without knowing all the facts from both sides.

Equally then the guards should be called as the child potentially caused criminal damage to the car.

Ok I know what the worst crime is in this case but a crime is a crime and potentially two crimes have been commited

Bullseye1

MagicMarker wrote: »

I am frankly amazed at the responses in this thread.

A grown adult got out of his car and slapped and 8 year old child in the face, but it's okay because he apologised? And he's done it before!?!

Call the guards, no ifs or buts.

And your solution for the child slapping moving cars?

MagicMarker

rubberdiddies wrote: »

It's hard to know what to do in this situation without knowing all the facts from both sides.

Equally then the guards should be called as the child potentially caused criminal damage to the car.

Ok I know what the worst crime is in this case but a crime is a crime and potentially two crimes have been commited

The OP said the guy was leaving an estate and while turning a corner slowly the kid hit the back of his car with his palm. This has happened to me in my estate and I certainly didn't get a shock that compelled me to get out and give 'em a slap and it's highly unlikely any damage was done.

giant_midget

This country is gone PC mad "call the garda" ffs...Im 30 years old and was a bold little brat when i was a child. I got the odd light slap off a neighbour and i deserved it ! I turned out fine...there is no core values in a modern estate/cul de sac/ village anymore :rolleyes:

rossc007

Let the guards sort it out, they'll have a better chance of finding out what really happened. Having said that, if someone hit my kid, I doubt I'd care what they did wrong.

staker

If as you say he has hit another kid in the estate, why are they still hitting the car as it drives by?
News travels fast among kids,last thing they're gonna do is start hitting Mr. Nasty from no. 26 car as he drives by.
You need to be sure he has done it before before allegations are made,ie testimony from that parent. If those allegations turn out to be true and your kid knew this previously, then maybe you should ask your son why he did it?
If they turn out to be false, it could get very messy indeed.

MagicMarker

Bullseye1 wrote: »

And your solution for the child slapping moving cars?

It's not violence.

davemc180

an 8 year old slapping a car is no excuse to get out and hit him,

would you think its ok if a football hit your front door to go out and start hitting the kids...

no excuse , hes 8 and dosent no better, no need to be hitting him, verbally telling him off or telling his mother would be the right option

Bullseye1

rossc007 wrote: »

Let the guards sort it out, they'll have a better chance of finding out what really happened. Having said that, if someone hit my kid, I doubt I'd care what they did wrong.

I can just imagine the child being cross examined. Have the days of people trying to resolve problems between themselves disappeared?

psychward

My first instinct is to deck the neighbour and kick his head in.

However there is the pesky and inconvenient matter of law and order. If you had been there when it happened you'd have a stronger case for putting him in hospital as it would be normal to lose all reason when your child is hit. Therefore go chat with a Garda about it and keep your cool. Put it on record that the neighbour hit a child. He may have done it before and that's why the Guards should know if there is a pattern. Lack of disclosure and information coming forward is how child abuse cases get covered up.

Bullseye1

MagicMarker wrote: »

It's not violence.

But it's dangerous. He could have slipped under the car, the driver could have panicked and crashed or had you even thought of the danger of a child being in such close proximity to a moving car.

Bullseye1

psychward wrote: »

My first instinct is to deck the neighbour and kick his head in.

However there is the pesky and inconvenient matter of law and order. If you had been there when it happened you'd have a stronger case for putting him in hospital as it would be normal to lose all reason when your child is hit. Therefore go chat with a Garda about it and keep your cool. Put it on record that the neighbour hit a child. He may have done it before and that's why the Guards should know if there is a pattern. Lack of disclosure and information coming forward is how child abuse cases get covered up.

So it's not okay for someone possibly in shock slapping a child but it's okay to kick his head in? Amazing logic. And would you do this in front of the child to show him how it should be done?

meitina

I am not saying -my child was right .I told him that it was very dangerous what he did.
I there is no doubt that the child learned a lesson.
I just wonder how abusive the act was from the man's part,as my son actually wetted himself.That he is not feeling ok this morning and refused to go to school.
I just think that that whole thing was too violent.No matter what the child did.What matters is how we as adults react to it!!!!!!!!
Now that I said to him that I'll let it go ,I feel angry about it.But said that I could not go to Gards.