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Neighbour slapped my child.

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    #32
    mikemac
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,986 ✭✭✭✭mikemac


    psychward wrote: »
    My first instinct is to deck the neighbour and kick his head in.

    Ah yes, my child is a little angel and never does any wrong

    Isn't that what many parents claim ;)


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    #33
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Bullseye1 wrote: »
    But it's dangerous. He could have slipped under the car, the driver could have panicked and crashed or had you even thought of the danger of a child being in such close proximity to a moving car.

    And this is an excuse to hit him? If an adult walks out in front of me am I allowed to get out and hit them?

    If a child ran out in front of me almost causing me to crash I'm sure as **** not going to get out and hit them! That would be the last thing on my mind.

    I think people are giving too much credit to the driver, as if he got out and hit the kid for the sake of the kid. I'd be of the opinion that the driver got out and hit him because the kid touched his car!


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    #34
    Bullseye1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,731 ✭✭✭Bullseye1


    I'm sorry your child had to go through that experience. Hopefully it will keep him safe going forward. By speaking to your neighbour you have done the right thing. He has apologised and admitted he over reacted and I'm sure he will never do it again.

    It's good that neighbours can talk without having to involve the Garda. Far too many people run to the Garda without first trying to be adults and talk. Fair play to you.


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    #35
    Bullseye1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,731 ✭✭✭Bullseye1


    I never said I agreed with the drivers reaction I'm saying that everyone reacts differently. Since we were not there its unfair to judge either side too harshly and assuming something is not a solid ground to base an action on. It's good that the mother has been able talk with the driver and they seem to have resolved the matter. Why now involve the Garda? Shouldn't neighbours be able resolve the matter like adults.

    MagicMarker wrote: »
    And this is an excuse to hit him? If an adult walks out in front of me am I allowed to get out and hit them?

    If a child ran out in front of me almost causing me to crash I'm sure as **** not going to get out and hit them! That would be the last thing on my mind.

    I think people are giving too much credit to the driver, as if he got out and hit the kid for the sake of the kid. I'd be of the opinion that the driver got out and hit him because the kid touched his car!


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    #36
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    Bullseye1 wrote: »
    So it's not okay for someone possibly in shock slapping a child but it's okay to kick his head in? Amazing logic. And would you do this in front of the child to show him how it should be done?

    Yes. Yes it is. And yes I would.
    When my child grows up I would expect him to be able to defend himself and not turn the other cheek if attacked. It's my job to discipline my child and nobody elses.

    mikemac wrote: »
    Ah yes, my child is a little angel and never does any wrong

    Isn't that what many parents claim ;)

    Anecdotally they claim that however the point is not to train your child to keep secrets or become a victim and passively accept when someone in authority attempts to abuse that authority. The psychological harm would be far greater than the physical harm in this case.


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    #37
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    I am frankly amazed at the responses in this thread.

    A grown adult got out of his car and slapped and 8 year old child in the face, but it's okay because he apologised? And he's done it before!?! :confused:

    Call the guards, no ifs or buts.

    100% agree.

    Excuse my french OP but F*ck that for a game of tennis. If anyone laid a finger on my child I would have them charged. There is absolutely no doubt about it.

    Yeh the kid was wrong to slap the car, but the neighbour should have gone to the child's parents and they should have dealt with it.

    Would it be ok if it was a 30 year old man who had slapped the car and then got assaulted?


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    #38
    mickoneill30
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭mickoneill30


    MagicMarker wrote: »
    I am frankly amazed at the responses in this thread.

    A grown adult got out of his car and slapped and 8 year old child in the face, but it's okay because he apologised? And he's done it before!?! :confused:

    Call the guards, no ifs or buts.

    On top of that the 8 year old child should be grounded for a while. He obviously can't be trusted around moving cars. They're not the kind of thing you mess around with.
    I know he got a shock when the adult slapped him. He would have had a bigger shock if he misjudged hitting the car.

    It's not acceptable that the adult slapped the kid. Make sure the kid knows that you're angry with the driver but that he also knows that this doesn't detract from the stupidity of the kids actions.


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    #39
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    Deleted User wrote: »

    Would it be ok if it was a 30 year old man who had slapped the car and then got assaulted?

    A coward who hits kids most likely wouldn't dare hit an adult.


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    #40
    Bullseye1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,731 ✭✭✭Bullseye1


    psychward wrote: »
    Yes. Yes it is. And yes I would.
    When my child grows up I would expect him to be able to defend himself and not turn the other cheek if attacked. It's my job to discipline my child and nobody elses.




    Anecdotally they claim that however the point is not to train your child to keep secrets or become a victim and passively accept when someone in authority attempts to abuse that authority. The psychological harm would be far greater than the physical harm in this case.

    How exactly is kicking someone's head in teaching your child to protect themselves. Assuming the person you are now kicking their head in is on the ground (unless your a giant) wouldn't that be now considers excessive and actually assault possibly leading to the death of said person on ground? So your child has now witnessed you kill someone and will have to visit you in prison. I see your logic.


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    #41
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    meitina wrote: »
    Now that I said to him that I'll let it go ,I feel angry about it.But said that I could not go to Gards.

    You have a duty to report this to the Guards. That neighbour might have hit other kids or done much worse. It should all be on his record if things start to come out so the Guards can get a clearer picture of this guy.


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    #42
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    The replies to this thread are amazing...

    Kids are kids and get into trouble, I got into my share..
    The people to deal with this are the parents or if it requires the guards too...

    I don't care what a child does... nobody, parents included should slap a child..
    Slapping anybody child or adult is assault, plane and simple..

    I don't care who this guy is or what the child has done... I'd be getting the Guards involved ASAP, if nothing else this guy needs a talking to by the guards about appropriate behaviour..

    Who knows what this guy has been up to... maybe the guards are sick of complaints against him..

    All this child has been taught is to slap someone about if you don't like what they do..

    Call the Guards and get their advice...


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    #43
    sipstrassi
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭sipstrassi


    Did the neighbour apologise to you or to your son?

    If not to your son then you need to tell him you will be bringing your son to apologise for hitting the car and promising not to do it again but that he (the neighbour) must apologise to your son and assure him he will never so much as look at him again.
    If he is not prepared to do that then tell him you are going to report it.


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    #44
    Bullseye1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,731 ✭✭✭Bullseye1


    So the guy has now jumped from being a driver who slapped a child to being a serial child slapper or something more sinister. WOW. Do people actually believe this stuff?


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    #45
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    Bullseye1 wrote: »
    How exactly is kicking someone's head in teaching your child to protect themselves. Assuming the person you are now kicking their head in is on the ground (unless your a giant) wouldn't that be now considers excessive and actually assault possibly leading to the death of said person on ground? So your child has now witnessed you kill someone and will have to visit you in prison. I see your logic.

    Well I did say that the Guards was the way to go. However I'm not going to have my small child wonder why I wasn't there to protect and defend him or her if I am present when they are attacked. And don't worry I wouldn't kill him literally but I'd let him know hes treading on very dangerous ground and I would let my child know it would not happen again. As for prison, I can't imagine any jury seeing an attack on someone who has assaulted your child in your presence as any different from an attack on someone in self defence. I knew the pussy liberals would be all over me when I expressed my distaste for the child beater and outlined hypothetical scenarios. However the fact is the parent wasn't present and the Guards should be informed because a leopard doesn't change it's spots and when someone is caught breaking the law they usually got away with a lot more which wasn't reported.


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    #46
    Penny Dreadful
    Registered Users Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭Penny Dreadful


    davemc180 wrote: »
    an 8 year old slapping a car is no excuse to get out and hit him,

    would you think its ok if a football hit your front door to go out and start hitting the kids...

    no excuse , hes 8 and dosent no better, no need to be hitting him, verbally telling him off or telling his mother would be the right option

    Actually I'd think an 8 year old should know better.

    I also think that there is more to this than has been told. The OP is the parent so is understandably going to take their child's side. The child hasn't said anything (by all accounts) about what really did happen. The man who slapped the child has apologised.
    I should think it better that the parent speaks to their child, gets their version of events, speaks to the other parent (if they are around) and they go to speak to the man who slapped their child and sort things out.
    Calling the Gardaí in is OTT IMHO.


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    #47
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,502 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    Driver going through estate, sees children, is driving slowly and carries on.

    As he passes one child he sees sudden movement and hears a thud. Slams on the brakes and gets out of car to see has he hit a child.

    Child not expecting such instant reaction and gets a fright, driver realises what has happened and is so mad at having been frightened and relieved at not having hit the child, takes a swipe at child and hits his face.

    Child further alarmed at such an instant response to him doing what he knew was wrong.

    Driver calms down and subsequently apologies.

    The driver should not have hit the child. The child should not have been messing with a moving car. Both know that what they did was wrong. Have them apologise to each other. Then get on with your lives.

    Do not make a victim of the child - it will not do him any good in the long run.


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    #48
    Bullseye1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,731 ✭✭✭Bullseye1


    psychward wrote: »
    I knew the pussy liberals would be all over me when I expressed my distaste for the child beater and outlined hypothetical scenarios. However the fact is the parent wasn't present and the Guards should be informed because a leopard doesn't change it's spots and when someone is caught breaking the law they usually got away with a lot more which wasn't reported.

    Ah yes the auld pussy liberal cards are thrown out with everything else. You are the one kicking the guy in the head to show your kid what to do next if it had happened to them. I guess the leopard analogy is quite fitting.


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    #49
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    Penny Dreadful wrote: »
    Calling the Gardaí in is OTT IMHO.

    So if someone hits you you wont' call the Guards ? Unlike you the child does not have a choice.


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    #50
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    Bullseye1 wrote: »
    Ah yes the auld pussy liberal cards are thrown out with everything else. You are the one kicking the guy in the head to show your kid what to do next if it had happened to them. I guess the leopard analogy is quite fitting.

    I guess some people like yourself are devoid of protective emotions at least when it comes to the victim.


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    #51
    Bullseye1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,731 ✭✭✭Bullseye1


    psychward wrote: »
    I guess some people like yourself are devoid of protective emotions at least when it comes to the victim.

    Actually what was being described was reactive not protective. There is a difference. Any parent would and should protect their child. But the actions being described above are happening after the event.

    I feel the OP has handled it in an adult manner.


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    #52
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    Bullseye1 wrote: »
    Actually what was being described was reactive not protective. There is a difference.

    And how many times have I spelled it out as being reactive for slow readers :rolleyes:
    The correct thing to do now is inform the Guards.

    It is protective of the child's psychological well being if you are there to protect them when they need you instead of behaving like a liberal hippy douche. Even being able to tell your child that the Guards ''had a talk with the bad man'' means that they can know that when they were assaulted it wasn't without consequences.


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    #53
    Bullseye1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,731 ✭✭✭Bullseye1


    God help your child if they grow up to be a liberal hippy :D.


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    #54
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    Bullseye1 wrote: »
    God help your child if they grow up to be a liberal hippy :D.

    I'll still love and care for them regardless if that's their decision but they wont be able to walk around with a chip on their shoulders saying their old man didn't do all he could for them.


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    #55
    rossc007
    Registered Users Posts: 627 ✭✭✭rossc007


    Bullseye1 wrote: »
    I can just imagine the child being cross examined. Have the days of people trying to resolve problems between themselves disappeared?

    The days of strangers hitting kids are long gone.


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    #56
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    looksee wrote: »
    As he passes one child he sees sudden movement and hears a thud. Slams on the brakes and gets out of car to see has he hit a child.

    Child not expecting such instant reaction and gets a fright, driver realises what has happened and is so mad at having been frightened and relieved at not having hit the child, takes a swipe at child and hits his face.

    Sorry, no, it doesn’t add up.

    I’ve been in the very same position as the driver in this case, a child I’m passing slowly hitting the back of my car is in no way going to make me think that I’ve just hit him. The sound of someone hitting the body work is very distinctive, if I hear it then the first thing I’m going to think is that someone just hit or threw something at the car.

    Secondly, if I did think I’d hit a kid and got out to check and found out he was ok then yes I would be relieved, smacking a kid after being relieved that I didn’t hit him with my car does not make any sense.

    Alternatively, a man driving slowly down a road passes a kid and while turning hears the kid hit his car, man stops and gets out angrily and slaps the kid across the face.

    Honestly, which sounds more likely to you?


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    #57
    Bullseye1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,731 ✭✭✭Bullseye1


    rossc007 wrote: »
    The days of strangers hitting kids are long gone.

    I agree.


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    #58
    MrThrifty
    Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭MrThrifty


    In all fairness, I think Psychward suggestions are well-intentioned in terms of the child's welfare, but unfortunately the issue appears to be personally 'close' to them and therefore they are understandably biased rather than 100% objective. I don't mean to offend by that comment but that's how it seems to me reading between the lines...

    The key info missing here is the full story and also the full 'history' behind it. Also, who's to say that the neighbour witness didn't have a dislike for the man and so exaggerated the story. Unfortunately I think the full story will never be known or at least fully proven by those involved. Therefore, appologies and future warnings for both the kid and the man involved are probably the order of the day.


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    #59
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    Jesus christ, i cant believe some of you people here. A grown man stopped his car and hit an 8 year old child and scared the child so much he wet himself? And this might help the child in the long run, and sure maybe the poor man got a fright and so on! What the hell are you all on about.
    If it was my child I can tell you the poor man would be getting a worse fright when i kicked his door in and dragged him out of his house.
    Do not let anybody hit your kids, ever, no ifs ands or buts. It's absolutely disgraceful what that man done. I couldn't care less what his reasoning behind it was. Anyone who thinks it's in any way acceptable is an idiot!


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    #60
    tfitzgerald
    Registered Users Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭tfitzgerald


    The man apologised and there is two sides to every story she should talk to the child again it seems whatever he did frightened the driver of the car bad enough to get out and hit the child


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    #61
    rossc007
    Registered Users Posts: 627 ✭✭✭rossc007


    tfitzgerald wrote: »
    The man apologised and there is two sides to every story she should talk to the child again it seems whatever he did frightened the driver of the car bad enough to get out and hit the child

    An apology doesn't cut it here, you can't hit people (never mind a child) then say sorry and expect everything to be equal.

    Even if the apology is sincere, which may be in question if the man has any grasp of where this could go legally speaking.

    Report the incident to the guards, you may stop another kid getting a smack off this dope. If it was me, I'd have him charged.


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