Neighbour slapped my child.

Ophiopogon

The first thing I would say is that no one has actually established for sure if the man actually made contact with the child. The op says a witness says this happened but we don't know who this witness is, could be an over excited child or someone who does not like the man.

I'm not saying it didn't happen but if the OP were to go the guards and no contact was made then the man will still end up with a record for suspected child abuse.

As has already happened in this thread, it has gone from one slap to a child abuser.

If he did slap than honestly I still would not go straight to the guards I would tear him a new one but I think I may leave it at that depending on the situation.

Also, the Op has stated that the kids run amuck in the estate and that might sound harmless but we have kids in our area as young as 8 get into serious trouble and have no boundaries. They will run straight out into the roads, throw rocks at cars etc. To the parents they are just kids being kids but it can make life a misery for some. I don't think hitting kids is the answer but I can see why you would get very frustrated them.

munstergirl

Tell your child to say sorry to neighbour + neighbour to child + move on.

Your child has learnt their lesson i hope, don't hit passing cars. And not to play so close to road.

Your child could have been knocked down + killed.

MagicMarker

tfitzgerald wrote: »

The man apologised and there is two sides to every story she should talk to the child again it seems whatever he did frightened the driver of the car bad enough to get out and hit the child

Ah bless.

zyndacyclone

So...another kid has already been hit by a car whilst doing pretty much what your son was doing...and not once has this seemed to worry you? Your neighbor reprimanded your son (which SHOULD be your job, but apparently you neglect it) because he was scared to death that he would KILL him.

The kid needed a good reprimand for such silly behavior, as do you for not seeing that the real problem here is your bad parenting. Or would you rather that he just killed your son? Teach your son NOT TO DO THAT. That's the real problem here.

MrThrifty

meitina wrote: »

Boy age 8 got attacked and slapped in face for touching my neighbours car as it drove past...
I did not see that ,my son would not tell me anything...
I heard it from a witness

meitina wrote: »

But would you firstly hit a child in face because you tought you hit passing by???
Yes ,thats what he says,and that he really did not slapped him.But my witness says otherwise.

meitina wrote: »

There is not more to read in to... the boy slaps the car with is palm on the back of the car...

Just to highlight the lack of a full or solid story here -> In the first post above, the boy supposedly touched the car.. but later it's revealed that the boy slapped the car... and later the word 'hit' is used.

Munstergirl is right, but I would add again that a warning be issued to both kid about not hitting cars etc. and man re: his behaviour should an incident like this ever happen again.

sipstrassi

zyndacyclone wrote: »

So...another kid has already been hit by a car whilst doing pretty much what your son was doing...and not once has this seemed to worry you? Your neighbor reprimanded your son (which SHOULD be your job, but apparently you neglect it) because he was scared to death that he would KILL him.

The kid needed a good reprimand for such silly behavior, as do you for not seeing that the real problem here is your bad parenting. Or would you rather that he just killed your son? Teach your son NOT TO DO THAT. That's the real problem here.

Well I'm glad you modified your post to take out the 'smack on the bum' comment.
Children play outside on the green of the estate they live in and you expect their parents to be with them at all times? At the age of eight?
Children misbehave.
For an adult to slap any child across the face, their own or anyone else's is not just disgraceful - it's assault.
When someone two or three times you size does it it's a terrifying assault.

(And another child was hit by this neighbour - not by a car).

The child needs to be punished. As do all children from time to time. But to suggest that the greater 'crime' here is the boy touching the car and not the adult committing an assault is ridiculous.

stimpson

I look forward to the days when slapping a child is looked at the same way as slapping a woman.

kildare.17hmr

sipstrassi wrote: »

Well I'm glad you modified your post to take out the 'smack on the bum' comment.
Children play outside on the green of the estate they live in and you expect their parents to be with them at all times? At the age of eight?
Children misbehave.
For an adult to slap any child across the face, their own or anyone else's is not just disgraceful - it's assault.
When someone two or three times you size does it it's a terrifying assault.

(And another child was hit by this neighbour - not by a car).

The child needs to be punished. As do all children from time to time. But to suggest that the greater 'crime' here is the boy touching the car and not the adult committing an assault is ridiculous.

Completly agree with this, the kid should be in trouble for slapping the car but if that was my son the neighbur would be in alot more trouble.

cynder

Just wondering if the child had any red marks or a bruise on his face? A slap hard enough for a child to wet themselves would leave some sort of mark. I know i was slapped enough as a kid and boy it left its mark....... Oh any i never wet my pants.

Sounds like your boy wet his pants due to shock of the car stopping and the man getting out or the fear of what the man might do or the fear of what you might do..The oh s**t im in trouble response.. I certainly wouldn't accept an 8 year old slapping my car as going by. I would frog march him to his mother and hope she would chastise him, bloody dangerous and stupid thing to be doing.

The man in question has apologised, has your son? I would also warn the man if he ever slaps/hits your child you will call the guards. There seems to be a hugh question mark over what exactly he did. If there was a mark or bruise it would back up you sons story and IF he did hit him hard enough to mark him, then the guards should be called.

Sounds like either way your son has learned a valuable lesson. Prehaps try teaching him to respect other peoples property.......

If this man had of never stoped his car then you would have never know what your son was doing, you now know you son has a lack of respect for traffic and other peoples property.

MrThrifty

stimpson wrote: »

I look forward to the days when slapping a child is looked at the same way as slapping a woman.

Presumably this is said in sarcasm... As a point of reference, by the same token, you should look forward to the day then that verbally abusing a child should be looked at the same way as verbally abusing a woman. It's interesting then to see some of the mothers who shout at their children in supermarkets or just on the street in town along the lines 'would you fcuking behave and shut up' etc. Not the best example but nothing shocks me any more when it comes to poor parenting in public places... One can only imagine what goes on at home...

Anyways, sorry for going off-topic but you drew me on!

zyndacyclone

kildare.17hmr wrote: »

Completly agree with this, the kid should be in trouble for slapping the car but if that was my son the neighbur would be in alot more trouble.

If that was my son, I'd tell the neighbor to frog march him to my door next time after a good verbal scolding. Then I'D APOLOGISE to the neighbor for my son's dangerous behavior and ground my son for a month.

The boy did something dangerous and silly, got called on it, got scared and ran to Mum screaming about an abusive neighbour, when the real problem is that he shouldn't be out doing what he was doing in the first place.

Sure the neighbor should have reprimanded him in a different manner, but a light slap won't harm the kid, getting HIT BY A CAR will...

The problem is the child's behavior and the bad attitude of the parent.

Ickle Magoo

Who was your witness, OP? Was it an adult? Did the driver apologise specifically for slapping your son, or apologise for over-reacting?

kildare.17hmr

zyndacyclone wrote: »

If that was my son, I'd tell the neighbor to frog march him to my door next time after a good verbal scolding. Then I'D APOLOGISE to the neighbor for my son's dangerous behavior and ground my son for a month.

The boy did something dangerous and silly, got called on it, got scared and ran to Mum screaming about an abusive neighbour, when the real problem is that he shouldn't be out doing what he was doing in the first place.

Sure the neighbor should have reprimanded him in a different manner, but a light slap won't harm the kid, getting HIT BY A CAR will...

The problem is the child's behavior and the bad attitude of the parent.

The op said the child didnt run to her screaming about it that someone else did.

I already said the child should be in trouble but no one has a right to put their hand on someone elses child.

I would do the same as you if a neighbour marched my kid up to the door

MagicMarker

zyndacyclone wrote: »

If that was my son, I'd tell the neighbor to frog march him to my door next time after a good verbal scolding. Then I'D APOLOGISE to the neighbor for my son's dangerous behavior and ground my son for a month.

The boy did something dangerous and silly, got called on it, got scared and ran to Mum screaming about an abusive neighbour, when the real problem is that he shouldn't be out doing what he was doing in the first place.

Sure the neighbor should have reprimanded him in a different manner, but a light slap won't harm the kid, getting HIT BY A CAR will...

The problem is the child's behavior and the bad attitude of the parent.

Have you even read the thread? The son did not run crying to mum, the kid didn't say anything about it because he was terrified to the point of wetting himself, it was a neighbour who brought it up with the OP.

The kid shouldn't have done what he did, NO ONE is saying otherwise. But the bloke should NOT have slapped the child under ANY circumstance.

mikemac

Slap cars today, throw rocks at cars tomorrow

A swift sharp lesson was learned

Abi

looksee wrote: »

Driver going through estate, sees children, is driving slowly and carries on.

As he passes one child he sees sudden movement and hears a thud. Slams on the brakes and gets out of car to see has he hit a child.

Child not expecting such instant reaction and gets a fright, driver realises what has happened and is so mad at having been frightened and relieved at not having hit the child, takes a swipe at child and hits his face.

Child further alarmed at such an instant response to him doing what he knew was wrong.

Driver calms down and subsequently apologies.

The driver should not have hit the child. The child should not have been messing with a moving car. Both know that what they did was wrong. Have them apologise to each other. Then get on with your lives.

Do not make a victim of the child - it will not do him any good in the long run.

I absolutely do not condone hitting a child, and my eyes nearly fell onto the keyboard when I saw the thread title - but I'd imagine the above is true. I think I'd have lost my own life with the fright if I were the driver. His reaction was one of shock, and I think unless you've ever had that moment where the colour drains from your face thinking you've hit someone, I doubt we'd know what we're capable of.


But one thing I did think of reading the OP was, what the hell was this child doing hitting cars? At 8 years of age, he doesn't have much of an understanding as to how dangerous cars are. He needs sitting down, and to go over what happened. I don't mean to make the child feel bad, but to help him understand the over-reaction on the drivers part. I'm by no means siding with the driver here, but if you don't explain things to a child they may never see the error of their ways.

A smidge closer to the car, and this could have been a whole different story.

daltonmd

meitina wrote: »

I'm shocked at what happened.What I need is an advice to do the right thing.
Boy age 8 got attacked and slapped in face for touching my neighbours car as it drove past.
I did not see that ,my son would not tell me anything ,as I understood ,he was frightened .
I heard it from a witness .When confronted ,the man was very sorry ,told me he did overreacted.:mad:
As far as the conversation went I said that it is very upsetting for me ,but im willing to let it go if he promises to talk to me before deciding on slapping.
Now I found that my son actually wetted himself on the spot.:mad:

It is never acceptable under any circumstances to put your hands on another human being, let alone a grown man to a child.

It is irrelevant what your child did. He did a silly, dangerous thing, a childish thing because he is a child.
There seem to be people here who are more willing to make allowances for the man, who was in "shock", to strike a child and cause him to wet himself out of fear, then to make allowances for a child, who did a childish thing.

You take two adults in this situation. The stupid adult touching/hitting a passing car and a "shocked" adult who assaults the stupid man and put it in front of a judge.

Kids do stupid things. It's up to adults to behave in an acceptable manner and in this case the acceptable and ONLY thing for this man to do was stop the car and knock on your door to talk to you.

I would report it to the gardai, I would ask them to speak to the man, they can give him a warning. I mean if it is acceptable for the man to strile a child to teach him a lesson, then I am sure it's ok for the law to tell this man that what he did was not acceptable.

cynder

daltonmd wrote: »

You take two adults in this situation. The stupid adult touching/hitting a passing car and a "shocked" adult who assaults the stupid man and put it in front of a judge.

.

Havent ever heard of a court case of the above senerio....

Seen a few news articles where kids have thrown stones at cars or dropped stuff on cars from bridges and the people in the car have been injured, but the kids always seem to run away and never get caught.....

Prehaps adults have more sense then to slap passing cars, thinking in this day and age the driver might have a knife, and it would be asking for trouble.

Penny Dreadful

MagicMarker wrote: »

Have you even read the thread? The son did not run crying to mum, the kid didn't say anything about it because he was terrified to the point of wetting himself, it was a neighbour who brought it up with the OP.

The kid shouldn't have done what he did, NO ONE is saying otherwise. But the bloke should NOT have slapped the child under ANY circumstance.

Maybe the kid hasn't said anything because they were misbehaving? I'm not saying it was right that the child was slapped, however, I do believe that there is more to this than we have been told. The child is saying nothing, the witness.......well who is the witness? Is it an adult or another child? Exactly what were the kids on the road up to that led to the slapping incident? What have they been up to in the past that may have led to this particular incident being the straw that broke the camel's back?

Slapping the child was wrong (whether it was the parent or a stranger that did it, granted that is my opinion) but to automatically blacken the name of the man who was involved in this on the say so of one other person is wrong, equally so.

cynder

daltonmd wrote: »

Kids do stupid things. It's up to adults to behave in an acceptable manner and in this case the acceptable and ONLY thing for this man to do was stop the car and knock on your door to talk to you.

.

Do you know how many parents there are who dont give a rats ass what the kids get up too? and wont even make their kids apologise, dont tell them off and dont punish them...

Most of the time the kids will be back out doing it again.


Prehaps the man should report the child to the guards for wilful damage to his car..... or report the mother to social services for neglect, (leaving a child in a dangerous environment out slapping cars as they go by) Im sure social services would be very interested in an 8 year old standing at the roads edge slapping cars, while the mother is nowhere to be seen.......

jsut a thought, not saying that the child should be reported to the gaurds or the mom should be reported, there are plenty of areas to look at. Its not all back and white.

Sleepy

meitina wrote: »

refused to go to school

I hope you made him go OP, otherwise you're just teaching him that if he kicks up a fuss when he's in the wrong you'll molly coddle him from the consequences of his actions...

stimpson

MrThrifty wrote: »

Presumably this is said in sarcasm... As a point of reference, by the same token, you should look forward to the day then that verbally abusing a child should be looked at the same way as verbally abusing a woman. It's interesting then to see some of the mothers who shout at their children in supermarkets or just on the street in town along the lines 'would you fcuking behave and shut up' etc. Not the best example but nothing shocks me any more when it comes to poor parenting in public places... One can only imagine what goes on at home...

Anyways, sorry for going off-topic but you drew me on!

No sarcasm intended (unusual for me).

I just think it's odd that it's now socially unacceptable to hit your wife, but still somewhat acceptable to hit an 8 year old child. Many of the excuses made on this thread for slapping child are exactly the same justification that was used for domestic violence in years gone by.

Similarly, I don't accept verbal abuse as an alternative. There are effective ways to verbally discipline children without being abusive.

opinion guy

Ok ok hold it up here


Why was this man driving so close to an 8 year old that the 8 year old was able to reach out and touch the car in the first place ??


The way I'm reading this - man drives car through estate dangerously close to child. Child touches/slaps car - perhaps out of fright at the car for all we know. Man gets out of car, slaps child in face.


This guy was in the wrong twice - firstly for his driving, secondly for beating a kid in the face. If I'm driving a car in an estate the first thing I'm doing is looking to see where the kids are and staying well the f**k away from them. Why was this guy not minding where the children were ?

mikemac

opinion guy wrote: »

Ok ok hold it up here


Why was this man driving so close to an 8 year old that the 8 year old was able to reach out and touch the car in the first place ??


The way I'm reading this - man drives car through estate dangerously close to child. Child touches/slaps car - perhaps out of fright at the car for all we know. Man gets out of car, slaps child in face.


This guy was in the wrong twice - firstly for his driving, secondly for beating a kid in the face. If I'm driving a car in an estate the first thing I'm doing is looking to see where the kids are and staying well the f**k away from them. Why was this guy not minding where the children were ?

You need the thread again, the driver was going slowly around a corner.
The lad was standing on the grass.

How is this dangerous driving?

meitina wrote: »

There is not more to read in to.the boy was standing on the green ,it is an estate not road.He stands on the green ,the car very slowly goes around a corner .the boy slaps the car with is palm on the back of the car.

Mr. Incognito

"Touching your neighbours car?"

When 8 years olds are involved I read this as throwing stones.

Why is your 8 year old out in the road??

You child shouldn't have gotten hit but he learned a lesson for life.

Actions have consequences. He shouldn't have been hit in an ideal world but the world is not ideal and if you do stupid things they come back to bite you in life.

If he wasn't out in the road he wouldn't be exposed to this.

Chalk it down to experience and move on. If you are not going to press charges don't waste Valuable Guardai time

MagicMarker

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Maybe the kid hasn't said anything because they were misbehaving? I'm not saying it was right that the child was slapped, however, I do believe that there is more to this than we have been told. The child is saying nothing, the witness.......well who is the witness? Is it an adult or another child? Exactly what were the kids on the road up to that led to the slapping incident? What have they been up to in the past that may have led to this particular incident being the straw that broke the camel's back?

Slapping the child was wrong (whether it was the parent or a stranger that did it, granted that is my opinion) but to automatically blacken the name of the man who was involved in this on the say so of one other person is wrong, equally so.

What we know is the man got out of his car and slapped a young child that was not his own in the face.

Assuming these few details are correct and that the OP is not lying, exactly what other details do you need to come to the conclusion that the guy is an absolute scumbag?

Jumpy

NO. BAD PENNY. Her little darling is an angel and would never do something like that.

Sorry everyone but I am going against the grain here. You have seen how some estates are getting in Ireland. Mostly because parents aren't aware of what their children are up to.

Slapping is obviously not the fix, but this should be a wakeup call for you as well OP. What was your kid doing unsupervised on the road in the first place?

daltonmd

grindelwald wrote: »

Havent ever heard of a court case of the above senerio....

Seen a few news articles where kids have thrown stones at cars or dropped stuff on cars from bridges and the people in the car have been injured, but the kids always seem to run away and never get caught.....

Prehaps adults have more sense then to slap passing cars, thinking in this day and age the driver might have a knife, and it would be asking for trouble.

o you know how many parents there are who dont give a rats ass what the kids get up too? and wont even make their kids apologise, dont tell them off and dont punish them...

Most of the time the kids will be back out doing it again.


Prehaps the man should report the child to the guards for wilful damage to his car..... or report the mother to social services for neglect, (leaving a child in a dangerous environment out slapping cars as they go by) Im sure social services would be very interested in an 8 year old standing at the roads edge slapping cars, while the mother is nowhere to be seen.......

jsut a thought, not saying that the child should be reported to the gaurds or the mom should be reported, there are plenty of areas to look at. Its not all back and white.

If you were walking down the street and there was another man walking towards you and you tugged at their shopping bag for a laugh and he struck you, then he would be done for assault. Why? Because you did not touch him but he touched you. That you hit, tugged, kicked his "property" does NOT give him the right to put his hands on your person.

This child did not throw stones, nor did this child cause physical injury to anyone. You cannot punish someone, anyone for what they "might" have done. If you caught a burglar in your house standing at the end of your wife's bed then he can not be charged with rape, even though that may have been his intention, that is the law.

Adults SHOULD have more sense. And leaping from a child touching a passing car to "his parents don't give a ****" is plain wrong.

Let me ask you this. If the man was driving by a group of teenagers do you think he would have jumped out and struck one of them across the face? Do you think if it was a grown man who touched his car that he would have been so quick to do what he did? Maybe he would have, but what do you think would have happened?


Btw, I would love to see what willful damage the child did to the car? And if he did then the absolutely right thing for the man to do was report it to the gardai.

And of course adults wouldn't hit a passing car, but not because the driver might have a knife, because they are adults, not children.

It is absolutely black and white. There is no valid reason, ever, for a grown man to assault a child.

Jumpy

Ah crap. there was another page I didnt see. Response was to Penny anyway. Obviously.

Ophiopogon

MagicMarker wrote: »

What we know is the man got out of his car and slapped a young child that was not his own in the face.

Assuming these few details are correct and that the OP is not lying, exactly what other details do you need to come to the conclusion that the guy is an absolute scumbag?

But we don't know this...we know the OP heard this from someone but we don't know who said it.

If you heard a man you know in your estate hit a child esp if this was followed up by a garda visit you will always view this man in a negative way even if its later found to be a lie or over reaction.