Neighbour slapped my child.

rossc007

Abi wrote: »

There really is. One criminal, and one behaviourial.


This child had gone literally to play with the traffic.

The child got his punishment, a slap from a stranger, the stranger has yet to be punished.

End the debate by calling the guards and the let the professionals handle it, nothing like this is ever going to get solved on boards.

Ophiopogon

psychward wrote: »

We can only comment on what the OP has written.

Yes and my comment is to find out what happened first, its all very vague so I would not say go straight to the gardai even thought I don't know what happened.


Does a child not have the same rights to justice as anyone else ?

I would also not straight away go to the gardai if it was just adults involved.



/QUOTE]

psychward

Ophiopogon wrote: »

I would also not straight away go to the gardai if it was just adults involved.

Unlike yourself if someone hit you , a child doesn't have the luxury of choice.

sbsquarepants

Abi wrote: »

There really is. One criminal, and one behaviourial.


This child had gone literally to play with the traffic.

The child slapped a car as it drove past in a housing estate, kids do things like that. It's not a behavioural issue, it's a child being a child. The child doesn't know anything about property law, he's a child and prone to doing impulsive things that adults wouldn't. The adult sure as hell has heard of assault, he knows full well he shouldn't hit a child.

What the adult done is not on in any way shape or form. The 2 events are not comparable, not even close. The adults actions so overshadow the childs that the childs are just not important.

coffee_cake

rossc007 wrote: »

The child got his punishment, a slap from a stranger,

While mammy is saying it was over something "so small", & possibly letting him off school
that is not punishment and will not teach him a thing

G2ECE

IMO, for what its worth, the incident should be reported to the Gardai and let them decide if there is a criminal act. The young lad needs to be spoken to and informed of the dangers of being in such close proximity to moving traffic in a manner that he can understand. He also needs to be reassured that if he is ever assaulted that he must come to his parent(s) and inform them.

On another issue in a similar vein, Is there proposals being put in place to make the reporting of crimes against children mandatory, even if it is believed the allegation is false???

daltonmd

ash23 wrote: »

What are you saying that for? Nowhere at all did I say that! I suggested that there are two separate wrongs for which there should be two separate punishments, one decided for the child by it's parents and the other decided by the legal system and you say I'm saying both situations are equal. Wtf???




Ummmmm, are you missing the many occasions where I said the man should be punished for striking the child? :rolleyes:
I would suggest the same be done in each of your hypothetical situations above and that the adult be reported for assaulting the child.

However if I saw a child hit a garda car I would think it was a bold little fu*ker and it's parents should teach it some respect.
Does that mean the child should be struck by the cop? No. But children with no respect for others are going to end up in trouble, especially when they cease to be young enough for people to pass it off as "ah they're only a child".

But you wouldn't think.."fkn hell a grown man hitting a child"??

You may say you don't think it's right, but when you question a childs behaviour over that of a grown ups then you are condoning the behaviour of adults, whether you want to believe that or not, that is the case.

There is nothing that a child can/should/would do that will ever justify a grown up assaulting them. If you can't pass off a childs behaviour as, well, childs behaviour then there is a problem.
Saying that while you don't feel it's right for a child to struck by a cop yet questioning the child without even knowing him is wrong. Because whether you know it or not it is like questioning a rape victims character because she may slept with 100 men on the night she was raped.

A child is just that. A child, and they are not yet wise to the world like us adults. Like us, they will learn from their mistakes and the large majority have good caring parents. If every mistake they made was immediately punished in such a way then we would be taking a step back.

This mans behaviour completely and utterly prevented his parents from disciplining the child correctly because a greater injustice was done to him then the "wrong" that he did. That is the point. He took the parents power of discipline away from them because his crime and behaviour was much worse than what the child did. How can kids ever hope to learn if this is the case?

stovelid

Most of us know full well that in many cases going to the parent of a kid will result in doodly squat being done. I"m talking as a parent too.

Ok so we have established from the OP that

1. The witness was an adult
2. The child has now told the mother that he was struck by the driver
3. The driver admitted he over reacted
4. The driver subsequently said it "looked like he hit him"

There are absolutely NO circumstances whereby an adult is in any way justified/in the right for slapping a child, who is not their own, across the face. None. It is assault.

I will ask the question again, would it be assault if it was an adult he had hit? would it be shocking if it was a woman he hit? I bet the answer to both is yes. And yet a young boy, probably half the man's size, "probably only got hit because he gave the man such a fright" Seriously.

The child was wrong, absolutely wrong. And he should definitely be punished, but only by his parents - or if the parents would not do anything about it and damage to the property was caused - by the gardai.

I find it disgusting that some people are actually defending that a grown man struck a child.

coffee_cake

daltonmd wrote: »

There is nothing that a child can/should/would do that will ever justify a grown up assaulting them.

she didn't say there is ffs

If you can't pass off a childs behaviour as, well, childs behaviour then there is a problem.

if the child is putting himself in danger and possibly damaging people's property then it is child's behaviour and it needs to be dealt with appropriately by their parents. And by "dealt with appropriately" i do not mean let them run riot while you laugh and do nothing.

stovelid

G2ECE wrote: »

IMO, for what its worth, the incident should be reported to the Gardai and let them decide if there is a criminal act. The young lad needs to be spoken to and informed of the dangers of being in such close proximity to moving traffic in a manner that he can understand. He also needs to be reassured that if he is ever assaulted that he must come to his parent(s) and inform them.

On another issue in a similar vein, Is there proposals being put in place to make the reporting of crimes against children mandatory, even if it is believed the allegation is false???

You omit to mention punishing the child for hitting somebody's car.

4zn76tysfajdxp

sbsquarepants wrote: »

The child slapped a car as it drove past in a housing estate, kids do things like that. It's not a behavioural issue, it's a child being a child.

Incorrect. That's bad behaviour and you're excusing it. Do you have kids? Is that what you tell them? I hope so, I want to be outraged.

louise5754

Just on another note guys I have heard about a few occasions like this where kids slap cars as they slowly go by. It seems to be going in estates or parts of towns that are built up where cars need to manouevre slowly. Not sure why they do it maybe to get a reaction? Just a word of warning. It happened to my sister in law she got an awful fright thought she had hit the child. She didnt slap him however!! He had run off before she could even get out of the car.

ash23

daltonmd wrote: »

But you wouldn't think.."fkn hell a grown man hitting a child"??

Oh for the love of God! :rolleyes: If I think a person should be reported to the gardai and a criminal investigation should take place, possibly resulting in a court case and a conviction, wouldn't that somewhat indicate that I would be aghast at the idea of an adult striking a child.
If I saw a woman being raped I don't think I'd need to go "oh f*ck look at that, a woman being raped, isn't that awful". I'd think that would be implied when I called the gardai!
However if I see a child hitting a car, I can't do much about it. The most I can do is mutter to myself about him being a little sh1t and hope his parents deal with it.

You may say you don't think it's right, but when you question a childs behaviour over that of a grown ups then you are condoning the behaviour of adults, whether you want to believe that or not, that is the case.

Where did I do that?
I said the man should be punished and that the man shouldn't be let hit children. I questioned the childs behaviour. In case you've forgotten, the bad behaviour occurred before the neighbour hit the child. Shall I state again that I think the issues are separate and should both be dealt with? I hardly need to repeat myself yet again. I couldn't have been clearer.

There is nothing that a child can/should/would do that will ever justify a grown up assaulting them. If you can't pass off a childs behaviour as, well, childs behaviour then there is a problem.

My 8 year old would be in SERIOUS trouble for striking a moving car. I would never pass off behaviour like that. Nor would I let someone away with hitting her.

Saying that while you don't feel it's right for a child to struck by a cop yet questioning the child without even knowing him is wrong. Because whether you know it or not it is like questioning a rape victims character because she may slept with 100 men on the night she was raped.

What absolute ****e.
If I heard that someone may have been raped by Joe next door but that the person wasn't saying anything, hadn't made an accusation and was refusing to say a word, should I assume Joe next door raped her? If SHE accused someone of raping her I wouldn't pass judgement. I would again, recommend calling the gardai. If the woman was not accusing someone of something I wouldn't call the gardai.
Surely that's completely common sense!!

A child is just that. A child, and they are not yet wise to the world like us adults. Like us, they will learn from their mistakes and the large majority have good caring parents. If every mistake they made was immediately punished in such a way then we would be taking a step back.

I didn't say his parent should punish him by hitting him.

This mans behaviour completely and utterly prevented his parents from disciplining the child correctly because a greater injustice was done to him then the "wrong" that he did. That is the point. He took the parents power of discipline away from them because his crime and behaviour was much worse than what the child did. How can kids ever hope to learn if this is the case?

I disagree. I think the issue of the childs behaviour should be dealt with by the parents. The child should be told that it's not acceptable that the man hit him and that nobody should ever lay a hand on him but he should also get a serious talking to about traffic and respecting other people. It would be contradictory for the mother to pursue the neighbour for physically lashing out and not talk to her son about respecting other people and their belongings.

stovelid

In some ways a child slapping a car is being a child. And it doesn't mean that they are destined to be horrible adults. I did worse if i am being honest.

But it is still bad behaviour and must be punished by the parents.

The guy wasn't right to snack a stranger's child but some of the reactions here are firmly in the my little angel realm and if your child did it to my car, I would seriously doubt that me complaining to you would result in punishment.

psychward

stovelid wrote: »

You omit to mention punishing the child for hitting somebody's car.

How severely would you punish the child considering he had already been assaulted by an adult who was delivering his own twisted form of ''justice'' ?

daltonmd

bluewolf wrote: »

she didn't say there is ffs

if the child is putting himself in danger and possibly damaging people's property then it is child's behaviour and it needs to be dealt with appropriately by their parents. And by "dealt with appropriately" i do not mean let them run riot while you laugh and do nothing.

Absolutely. But what you don't do is hit the child.

As a society we have become completely intolerant of children. I am in my 40's and as a kid in our estate we did terrible things on the neighbours. Nic Nac, robbing their flowers, you name it we did it. We got bawled out by the neighbours and then they told our parents who bashed us and grounded us.
Never did one of them put a hand to us.
The kids around my area do the same and as much as it annoys me I think back to my childhood and let it pass.
it is being presumed on this thread that this child, who hit a passing car will grow up to be a thug "if he's not sorted out". It's also been stated that parents don't care, kids have no respect blah blah blah.

A lot of you here did worse on your neighbours when you were kids. How many of your neighbours put their hands to you?

Kids are kids. If he was 12 or 13 then ok, I'd say he should know better, but 8? Jesus wept. He's a baby...

psychward

stovelid wrote: »

some of the reactions here are firmly in my little angel realm and if your child did it to my car, I would seriously doubt that me complaining to you would result in punishment.

Yes it would. Most of us don't want our misbehaving children to turn into problem teenagers and then end up as adults in jail.

stovelid

psychward wrote: »

stovelid wrote: »

You omit to mention punishing the child for hitting somebody's car.

How severely would you punish the child considering he had already been assaulted by an adult who was delivering his own twisted form of ''justice'' ?

Er he would still be punished by me as it is wrong to slap somebody's car. Notwithstanding the adult hitting him which was wrong.

Abi

sbsquarepants wrote: »

The child slapped a car as it drove past in a housing estate, kids do things like that. It's not a behavioural issue, it's a child being a child.

Oh yes it is an issue. Is this kind of crap acceptable now? Not in my book it isn't. With that attitude you'll never have your neighbours off the doorstep. Keeping your child in line with what is right and wrong will stand to them as they go through life. I'd regard that as lazy parenting. You have to make a child accountable for their actions from the start, or you're in for a rough ride.

The child doesn't know anything about property law

Nobody said they had to know property law, let's not blow things out of proportion here. They need to be taught to respect others property, and their elders.

Jesus I despair for the future of kids with parental attitudes like that.

4zn76tysfajdxp

daltonmd wrote: »

Kids are kids. If he was 12 or 13 then ok, I'd say he should know better, but 8? Jesus wept. He's a baby...

No. Babies are under about two years old. Eight years old is over half a decade past the baby stage. At age 8, I distinctly remember witnessing a kid my age slapping a bus at it passed by. I also distinctly remember thinking that it was dangerous and stupid. And I wasn't exactly older than my years intellectually either, 8 year old me was really stupid.

Penny Dreadful

daltonmd wrote: »

Absolutely. But what you don't do is hit the child.

As a society we have become completely intolerant of children. I am in my 40's and as a kid in our estate we did terrible things on the neighbours. Nic Nac, robbing their flowers, you name it we did it. We got bawled out by the neighbours and then they told our parents who bashed us and grounded us.
Never did one of them put a hand to us.
The kids around my area do the same and as much as it annoys me I think back to my childhood and let it pass.
it is being presumed on this thread that this child, who hit a passing car will grow up to be a thug "if he's not sorted out". It's also been stated that parents don't care, kids have no respect blah blah blah.

A lot of you here did worse on your neighbours when you were kids. How many of your neighbours put their hands to you?

Kids are kids. If he was 12 or 13 then ok, I'd say he should know better, but 8? Jesus wept. He's a baby...[/QUOTE]

And so shouldn't be outside playing without the supervision of an adult.
Again, I do not think that the man slapping the child was appropriate, but equally I do not think that this child has the cop on / common sense/ whatever you will call it, to be outside playing on his own if he can't see what is dangerous and what isn't.

Frowzy

I haven't read all 15 pages, but I read the OP's first few posts and my thoughts are all for the child at the moment! The OP said that her child wet himself FFS.... What knd of an animal attacks a child on the street?

FACT: I don't hit my children, therefore nobody else does!!!

When I was small my cousin and I were playing in a cornfield beside our grandparents house, the farmer arrived and shouted at us so we ran. (both girls aged 7 at the time). I ran faster than her so he caught her. I went back just in time to see him slap her and puck her in the back, she was crying and wet herself. I started screaming and kicking him until he let her go. We snuck into the house and got her cleaned up and changed. We were terrified. Anyway, long story short we still talk about it. Such was the terror that we thought we were going to be murdered. As an adult I know we should've told our parents, we needed someone to tell us that it was ok! That we hadn't committed a crime and weren't going to be arrested.

My guess is that this boy had seen a child do similar before and get away with it. Children don't know that they can be hurt or even killed, therefore if the children were standing that near to cars would it not have been more productive for him to get out of the car BEFORE taking the bend to ask the children to step back from any danger?

I'm sorry, you can't let this go! You need to make a complaint and ensure that the man is given a warning. Ignore the fact that you've heard he did it before, that's for that child's parents to deal with, keep it between you and him. Once is once too many. When it cones to your children you can't be too careful, or as one poster said too PC!!!

I hope your son is ok, that's all you need to worry about.

ash23

daltonmd wrote: »

it is being presumed on this thread that this child, who hit a passing car will grow up to be a thug "if he's not sorted out". It's also been stated that parents don't care, kids have no respect blah blah blah.

A lot of you here did worse on your neighbours when you were kids. How many of your neighbours put their hands to you?

Kids are kids. If he was 12 or 13 then ok, I'd say he should know better, but 8? Jesus wept. He's a baby...

I think if the parents don't react when their kids act badly and dismiss it as kids being kids, those kids will grow up to be thugs.
When I was growing up I did stuff and was immediately ratted out to my mam who punished us. Other kids on the road had parents who just ignored what their kids did and yes, those kids grew up to be trouble. Some ended up in prison.

The kid should get a lecture about safety and respect from his parents.
My 8 year old wouldn't dream of raising her hand to person, place or thing and if she did, she'd be in trouble.
She's not a baby. She's 8. Give the kids more credit than that! 8 year olds are street wise and if they can't be trusted to be out alone and behave, then they shouldn't be out without supervision.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Frowzy wrote: »

My guess is that this boy had seen a child do similar before and get away with it. Children don't know that they can be hurt or even killed, therefore if the children were standing that near to cars would it not have been more productive for him to get out of the car BEFORE taking the bend to ask the children to step back from any danger?

You say that like there was some sort of accident involved.

I hope your son is ok, that's all you need to worry about.

That and making sure he never does it again.

audi a4 2008

my issuse with this is the op left her child outside without any adult looking after him.still with everything thats going on some adults think it fine to leave them alone.:mad:

children unsupervised
(1)get up to no good
(2)when caught out at something they should have not done lie
(3)have no respect for any persons property
(4)cant define from playing to causeing damage

chidren under contol and supervised
(1)the area around them is safe from traffic and bad people and some bad dogs
(2)any issuse that does come up the adult knows the truth and can deal with it
(3)again its simple safety for the child and everyone else.
(4)no children should be left outside alone plain and simple.

for me i dont think its a garda complaint,the man said sorry he more or less got a fright himself as the child was so close and as we know anything could have happend.

stovelid

Frowzy wrote: »

I'm sorry, you can't let this go! You need to make a complaint and ensure that the man is given a warning. Ignore the fact that you've heard he did it before, that's for that child's parents to deal with, keep it between you and him. Once is once too many. When it cones to your children you can't be too careful, or as one poster said too PC!!!
.

Pretty hysterical stuff here.

I wouldn't like the thought of somebody giving one of my boys a clatter - and I'm not deluded to think they won't ever act the maggot - but jaysus, wind down a bit will you.

audi a4 2008

audi a4 2008 wrote: »

my issuse with this is the op left her child outside without any adult looking after him.still with everything thats going on some adults think it fine to leave them alone.:mad:

Now in all fairness, kids should be able to play out in a housing estate without a parent standing watching them the whole time. It's part of childhood.

Wolfe Tone

Wow is all I can say after reading this.

Hyperbole of the highest order, "scarred for life" Bloody hell.

I remember when I was 8/9 getting a boot in the hole off an elderly enough neighbour for being a little sh!t, when I complained to my parents and found out what I was doing they just said I deserved it! Hardly the end of the world.

The driver was obviously just terrified, thinking he knocked the kid down. It was a very understandable reaction, he regrets it and apologized, I don't see the big deal.

Call the gardaí? Bloody hell, no wonder criminals are taking over if their time is being taken up by ridiculous things like this, it like calling an ambulance because you grazed your knee, ridiculous!

ash23

Deleted User wrote: »

Now in all fairness, kids should be able to play out in a housing estate without a parent standing watching them the whole time. It's part of childhood.

Yeah but those kids should also be told not to play in the traffic and damage other peoples property.

My daughter plays outside alone and I swear to god, if I saw her doing what the OPs kid did, she would be in for a world of trouble and lucky to get outside in a month!
If I saw someone strike my child across the face, they'd have the guards on their step before my child made it home. I don't hit my child and wouldn't be impressed with someone else doing so. Would I press charges, depends on how hard they hit her if I'm honest. But I'd want the fear put into them anyway.

Two wrongs. Both should be dealt with.