Neighbour slapped my child.

daltonmd

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

daltonmd wrote: »

Absolutely. But what you don't do is hit the child.

As a society we have become completely intolerant of children. I am in my 40's and as a kid in our estate we did terrible things on the neighbours. Nic Nac, robbing their flowers, you name it we did it. We got bawled out by the neighbours and then they told our parents who bashed us and grounded us.
Never did one of them put a hand to us.
The kids around my area do the same and as much as it annoys me I think back to my childhood and let it pass.
it is being presumed on this thread that this child, who hit a passing car will grow up to be a thug "if he's not sorted out". It's also been stated that parents don't care, kids have no respect blah blah blah.

A lot of you here did worse on your neighbours when you were kids. How many of your neighbours put their hands to you?

Kids are kids. If he was 12 or 13 then ok, I'd say he should know better, but 8? Jesus wept. He's a baby...[/QUOTE]

And so shouldn't be outside playing without the supervision of an adult.
Again, I do not think that the man slapping the child was appropriate, but equally I do not think that this child has the cop on / common sense/ whatever you will call it, to be outside playing on his own if he can't see what is dangerous and what isn't.

You know what's funny.

People here have automatically assumed (not all people of course) that the child behaved badly by hitting the car.
in the mans case there were various "mitigating circumstances", like maybe he was in shock, got a fright. overreacted, thought he knocked the child down and so on.

I didn't hear any of you say, in the childs defence, that maybe the man was driving too near, maybe the child got a fright because the car was too close. Maybe the man was driving too fast.

The childs actions were automatically put down as wrong, bad. yet, while acknowledging that the man had no right to hit the child,you still don't see the issue with immediately putting the child in the wrong.

You haven't given the child the same consideration as the adult.


If children cannot play outside their homes without constant supervision then that is plain wrong. In every estate kids play outside. It is up to the adults to make that a safe environment. The old saying.. It is a community that raises a child is well and truly lost on us...

audi a4 2008

Deleted User wrote: »

Now in all fairness, kids should be able to play out in a housing estate without a parent standing watching them the whole time. It's part of childhood.

no never never,there too young and can be led into a strangers can in less than a minute,

professore

I'm not justifying the man's behavour BUT ...

Problem these days is if that man complained to the parents he would have more than likely been told to eff-off. Maybe he's been constantly harassed by kids and he snapped.

The parents can call the guards but who can he report kids to if they are always at him and his property?

Being a parent myself I actually think the parents should be held financially responsible for any damage/harassment that their kids cause. That would solve an awful lot of problems.

4zn76tysfajdxp

daltonmd wrote: »

I didn't hear any of you say, in the childs defence, that maybe the man was driving too near, maybe the child got a fright because the car was too close. Maybe the man was driving too fast..

You can't defend the child by just making up excuses for his behaviour off the top of your head. Anyway, the OP stated that the child stood on a green, slapped the car with the palm of his hand while the car was driving slowly around a corner. If the car got too close for comfort then he either mounted the green or the kid was standing too near the road. I'd say we'd have heard about it by now if it was the former...

stovelid

ash23 wrote: »

If I saw someone strike my child across the face, they'd have the guards on their step before my child made it home.

Unless they actually assaulted your child, that would just be a waste of Gardai resources and not something I imagine they would be happy about.

ash23

daltonmd wrote: »

The old saying.. It is a community that raises a child is well and truly lost on us...

So we should watch other peoples kids but can't do anything when that child acts up?
Where do you draw the line at how much a neighbour should discipline other kids? Fair enough hitting isn't on. Is it ok for me to let a roar and frighten the beejaysus out of a kid acting the mick? Is it ok for me to kick a child out of my house if they're misbehaving?

I'm all for letting kids in and around my house but I'd think nothing of telling one of them off and it's actually been mentioned in a negative way to me by other parents. "oh you shouted at my little Mary when she was reefing the head off your child and she got an awful fright....I'd prefer you didn't shout at her". :rolleyes:

stovelid

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

I remember when I was 8/9 getting a boot in the hole off an elderly enough neighbour for being a little sh!t, when I complained to my parents and found out what I was doing they just said I deserved it! Hardly the end of the world.

Same but I was 12. I fully deserved it and although I got a fright, I'm hardly waking up in the dead of night about it as adault.

ash23

ash23 wrote: »

Yeah but those kids should also be told not to play in the traffic and damage other peoples property.

100% agree. You should educate your child of the dangers around them and the consequences of such dangers. And you should absolutely bloody well punish them if they don't heed your warnings.

audi a4 2008 wrote: »

no never never,there too young and can be led into a strangers can in less than a minute,

They are too young? at what point do they become old enough?
As I said above, it's about educating your child. Setting down rules and letting them know if they are broken, what the punishment will be.

G2ECE

stovelid wrote: »

You omit to mention punishing the child for hitting somebody's car.

I think given that the child wet themselves after the incident, you would have to proceed with great care so as not to further traumatise them, in this case I don't think further punishing the child will achieve anything.

ash23

stovelid wrote: »

Unless they actually assaulted your child, that would just be a waste of Gardai resources and not something I imagine they would be happy about.

Hitting someone across the face is assault. If my neighbour walked over to me and hit me across the face I'd call the gardai too.

If I walked out in front of a car and the driver got a fright and got out and smacked me across the face it would be uncalled for and an assault. A child is not a lesser person than an adult and shouldn't be hit. No adult would hit another adult across the face in shock, fright etc.

I doubt a guard would have a problem with me calling them if an adult smacked a child across the face. And if they think that's a waste of time then shame on them

Frowzy

stovelid wrote: »

Pretty hysterical stuff here.

I wouldn't like the thought of somebody giving one of my boys a clatter - and I'm not deluded to think they won't ever act the maggot - but jaysus, wind down a bit will you.

See, if this attitude was taken against a grown man who hit somebody else's 8 year old child then we wouldn't have a problem!

In answer to your question, NO! I will not wind down... Think of all the parents who told their children not to be making up stories about the priests. Same people who are defending this man berate the actions of priests on other threads.

Good old Ireland!!!!

Penny Dreadful

Frowzy wrote: »

I haven't read all 15 pages, but I read the OP's first few posts and my thoughts are all for the child at the moment! The OP said that her child wet himself FFS.... What knd of an animal attacks a child on the street?

FACT: I don't hit my children, therefore nobody else does!!!

When I was small my cousin and I were playing in a cornfield beside our grandparents house, the farmer arrived and shouted at us so we ran. (both girls aged 7 at the time). I ran faster than her so he caught her. I went back just in time to see him slap her and puck her in the back, she was crying and wet herself. I started screaming and kicking him until he let her go. We snuck into the house and got her cleaned up and changed. We were terrified. Anyway, long story short we still talk about it. Such was the terror that we thought we were going to be murdered. As an adult I know we should've told our parents, we needed someone to tell us that it was ok! That we hadn't committed a crime and weren't going to be arrested.

My guess is that this boy had seen a child do similar before and get away with it. Children don't know that they can be hurt or even killed, therefore if the children were standing that near to cars would it not have been more productive for him to get out of the car BEFORE taking the bend to ask the children to step back from any danger?

I'm sorry, you can't let this go! You need to make a complaint and ensure that the man is given a warning. Ignore the fact that you've heard he did it before, that's for that child's parents to deal with, keep it between you and him. Once is once too many. When it cones to your children you can't be too careful, or as one poster said too PC!!!

I hope your son is ok, that's all you need to worry about.

We can all tell stories about things we did as kids that we shouldn't have.
My parents never hit me at all but I knew where the line was. I flirted with crossing that line on more than one occasion of course I did. Once such time was when I climbed on top of the counter and stood on a stool I had carried up with me to reach up to the topmost shelf of the cupboards to get hold a fountain pen that my Dad had been given for his 21st from his Dad who'd gotten it from his.
I had been warned many many times not to a) climb up like that and b) not to touch this pen but the lure of it was too much for the 6 / 7 year old me and up I got. Just as I got hold of the pen and down from the stool onto the counter my Dad came into the room and I wet myself with the fear of getting into trouble.
He didn't hit me, shout at me, do anything mean or horrible but I knew I had done something wrong and so I was scared and wet myself. I was given out to by him and my mum and had the "how would you feel if we took something of yours?" conversation and all that jazz.
Now years later rather than be scarred for life because I was scared and wet myself its become a funny family story.
Life happens. I (once again) don't condone what the drive of the car did BUT life is life and things happen. I don't think that this should be concentrated on overly with this child. The driver has apologised and probably feels dreadful about the incident. The child (hopefully) will have learned that what he did was not appropriate and will chalk this up to experience and carry on as normal.

MrThrifty

Deleted User wrote: »

Now in all fairness, kids should be able to play out in a housing estate without a parent standing watching them the whole time. It's part of childhood.

Not in this estate by the sounds of things! -> OP said that the man in question "has already hit another boy in our estate".

On that note, I would think the child would probably have been aware of that incident and therefore already familiar with the man in question... As a parent, that's at least justification to supervise your children, if not have a word with the man BEFORE an incident ever arises. If as a parent I saw a lone man behaving suspiciously and 'watching' someone else's young child, I would approach him, tell him what it looks like to me and threaten to report him to the guards if he didn't have a believable excuse.

Anyway, sounds like there are issues in the estate, both with the children and the parents. Oops, did I forget, and possibly the man in question too.

January

Thread is just going around in circles at this stage... Closed.