Films sequels they will never make

minidazzler

Cash Purple Warhead wrote: »

That's maybe why they will never make it.

I'd like to see Arnie living the simple seafaring life. Rum sodomy and the lash and all that....wait, that sounds like a bad porno, he already did one of those.

AnonoBoy

Irreversible 2: The Reversing.

Don't even ask....

Pherekydes

The Greatest Story Ever Told: The Return

Final Destination DLXXVII

spider guardian

Rocky Balboa 2

Turtyturd

The Day after Independence Day: A documentary focusing on the rebuilding of cities destroyed by Aliens. Will Smith appears in the background selling Converse.

Ghandee

Animal farm 2

(no animals were fcuked hurt during the making of this movie)

Ledger

Passion of The Christ 2: Crucify This!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKS-ngwU0jA

EDIT: anyone help here? sorry ha

irishejit

A Boxing Day Carol:

Ebeneezer Scrooge spends the whole day with indigestion, eating Rennies and watching bad TV re-runs. Blames the Xmas eve experience on bad cheese eaten earlier that day and reverts to his old ways.

Sticky_Fingers

Back Back to the Future

A 50 year old Marty returns with Doc to the 1950's where his unfortunate medical condition starts new dance craze.

Omackeral

Ordinary Decent Criminals with Somewhat Believable Accents.

Kevin Spacey is forced to apologise to every underworld figure in the Greater Dublin Area for his atrocious efforts with all things Dublinese. Scenes include our Kev visiting Mountjoy Prison and even Glasnevin Cemetery in a bid to make amends for his embarrassing faux pas. Will Rasher and his crew of undesirables accept this plastic Paddy's sincereity?

Thud

Marley and Me 2, Back from the grave

aristotle25

The Field 2

Set in modern day Ireland about fight for planning permission for multi-story carpark, multiplex cinema, shopping centre, 50 two-bed appartments on a field in Leenane.

Vicxas

Fight Club 2: Fight Back

holystungun9

passion of the christ vs alien

lethal weapon 15

(actually, I probably shouldn't rule LW 15 out! They may take it that far)

Shiner11

You've seen Cowboys vs. Aliens now see the film they've all been taking about....

Cowboys vs. Predator!!

Due to the fact that the Predator can bend light to appear invisible and on occasions his eyes will flicker red. The town folk of the time who are god fearing pilgrims believe that the predator is more than likely a demon than a extra-terrestrial being and in tuen offer sacrifice after sacrifice to appease its blood lust.

The Rook

Captain Darling wrote: »

You know you've been watching too much porn when you read that as Toy Story 3 double penetration.

Wasn't that the point of the post?!!!

foxyboxer

Snakes on a Plane 2: Nurofen Plus Wine

To Dole Queue, Thanks for Everything, Bertie Ahern.

Pherekydes

Die Hard: Just Fúcking Die, Already

hardCopy

Vicxas wrote: »

Fight Club 2: Fight Back

This time there are no rules!

Leiva

Superman VI



















.......causes hes fvcking dead !

TheBody

Crouching Woman Hidden Cucumber!!

yupyup7up

American History XI

Con Air 2 with Michael O'Leary

Kramer vs Predator

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxI6ITD42RY

sheesh

the matrix 2.1 ok lets try that again.

neo and the rest of the lads come back to try and make an decent sequel

jmayo

Michael Collins 2

Collins may be dead and laid to rest, but his death leads to 90 years of dicking around which ultimately leads to the invasion of the Germans and French.
His ghost returns and leads a ghostly fog of dead IRA men that exact horrible deaths on the invaders.
While EU leaders are attending a summit, the fog appears and cranage ensues.
There is a gratuitous sex scene at the start of this section with the Italian, French and German leaders being joined by the Irish European spokeswoman.
For audiences under 18 this has been removed and instead is a scene
showing simon cowell and louie walsh getting disembowled by an angry musician who actually can play an instrument.

After the carnage the only survivor is the Irish leader who comes out waving a piece of bloody paper declaring that the French and Germany leaders have signed over their nations to the Irish.
Collins wanted the British leader to sign over, but the Irish leader convinced him it was worth fook all nowadays.
Likewise with Greece, Spain, Portugal, Italy, etc.

The film ends showing the Irish celebrating in an Irish themed pub with the ghost of Collins seen crying outside lamenting it was all in vain.

Shiner11

Trans4mers.




Lets hope it won't be made...

cosmicfart

The Neverending Story II: Falkor the luckdragon rides again

cml387

I gave birth to what you did last summer.

sensibleken

I spit on your grave 2: The Brian Lenihan story

Omackeral

Goodfellas Part II ...........also known as Casino.



Forest Gump 2 .........also known as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

risenbass

Spaceballs 2: The quest for more money

cremeegg

from the makers of "i know what you did last summer" and "i still know what you did last summer" comes...

I know what you did last night.

One mans attempt to cover his night out gone wrong with the lads from his wife. Scary and edge of seat thriller. rated 18

sensibleken

The Day after the day after tomorow: 2 hours of people filling out insurance claim forms

cosmicfart

Memento II: did I show you the Tattoo on my balls?

OldGoat

1985

jmayo

Independence Day II

After installing a new antivirus package the aliens return.

They are really pis*ed off this time as they search for Bill Gates who sold them the first anti virus prone software.

Handy11

The Mist 2: Still Dead as Sh!tes

The Sound of Music 2 - Crunk's Revenge

Sky King

The Quiet American History X-Men in Black Hawk Down Fall.

This is a project movie of a mate of mine. He says it's going to be like Alien Versus Predator but way more complicated.

jonnyfingers

World Trade Centre 2 - "if you build it, they will come.....in a plane....again"

Plazaman

Charlie And The Chokehold Factory

It's 30 years since Willy Wonka handed over his factory to Charlie Bucket and it's been 30 years of hell for Charlie. Why would anyone think a 12 year old boy would be able to handle the management of one of the worlds largest confectionary companies.

Increasing difficulties with unionised Oompa Loompas led to the entire workforce being dismissed in favour of cheap foreign labour. But a hostile market takeover by Slugworth Enterprises and massive tax problems has now pushed Bucket over the edge. Even the town he once loved has turned against him.

On his "30th Anniversary" of taking over Wonka Inc, he unveils a wonderous confection never being seen before and eagerly sought after. But the unwitting public do not know that the Bucket Bars are tainted with a rare poison and only Bucket has the antidote and he now has the world in a chokehold.

Special Guest Appearence : Michael D Higgins as Oompa Loompa Union Foreman

The King of Moo

The Passion of the Christ II: Dawn of the Dead: After brave Roman soldiers finally managed to defeat the powerful wizard Jesus Christ with overwhelming physical force, the Middle East can finally breath easy.
But terror will strike the streets of Jerusalem once more, as Jesus' tomb is found empty, and he's let loose to cause mayhem! No trader or money lender will be safe!
The Romans will have to go to even greater lengths to stop him, but there's one problem:

How do you kill what's already dead?


Smokes on a Plane: Samuel L. Jackson, returns as F.B.I agent Neville Flynn, getting on his first flight in four years to see his family at Christmas. But as soon as the flight takes off, he's faced with an even worse problem than a bunch of deadly snakes: an ignorant family sitting in front of him who are set to make this a flight into Hell!

SEE!! the drunk father angrily argue with the cabin crew, whose wages he claims to pay, about why he should be allowed to smoke!

HEAR!! the sound of Anger Management through headphones with the sound up just too high!

MARVEL!! at more great dialogue, such as "Get this mother****in' seat outta my mother****in' face!"



Sophie's Choice II: Dominos or Chinese.

jmayo

Mad Max 4: Max in rehab

Max has moved to America, has gotten all religious, grown a mullet, married and has had two dozen kids with the missus.
Then his world falls apart when he has an affair with some young wan and insults some Jewish bikers.

TheIrishGrover

Pinocchio 2: Lie to me!!!!

Pinocchio finds himself hitting rock bottom after the gangland murder of Gepetto by a Westside carpenter. In order to pay the bills he joins a touring troupe of storyland porn stars under the leadership of "little" Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds). Here he learns to power of lies....
A new film from Paul Thomas Anderson, also starring William H Macey as Hugh "Humpty" Dunphy, Don Cheadle as BB Wulf and Mark Whalberg as "Prince" Albert Charming.

jmayo

Von Ryans Express II.

Escaping prisoners of war commandeer a Ryan Air plane.
They try to reach Switzerland, but the nearest they get to it is an airport in Germany where they are meant to take a two hour bus journey to Switzerland.

Along the way they face starvation because they can't afford the sandwiches and they have to battle flight attendants who try to sell them lottery tickets and dodgy perfume.

jonnyfingers

Wall Street 3: The Occupation

cosmicfart

District 9: 3 years on and the alien who vowed to return does except that this time he lands over Jamaica and while there looking for directions to South Africa he becomes a complete stoner.

Dude weres my Spaceship: Ashton Kutcher returns as a space Alien in the hilarious story about an alien who forgot were he parked his spaceship.

cremeegg

I am still a legend

I am number 27

Gmol

The Bucket list 2. They're back!!!

Orando Broom

Star Wars Seven.

The Rebel fell for the ruse by the empire to attack the Death Star. With the gigantic insurance payout Vader and the Emperor, both who codded Luke into thinking they were dead build a hunting lodge on Endor and while away their days stalking and killing ewoks for sport.

Admiral Akbar has been honourably discharged and is now just plain old Frank Akbar is an insurance investigator for New Tattoine Assurance is charged with getting to the bottom of the Death Star insurance scam. A washed up Luke, still smarting that his sister wouldn't put out harbours increasing resentment towards Han and Lea who are happily married. Han, former gangster, is now a successful developer who has just built a large development in the suburbs of Mos Eisley. Will Luke in his new role as Fire Compliance Inspector get his revenge?

Wattle

Pulp Factions - All of the original cast meet in pub carpark and have a massive beautifully coreographed kung fu fight to the death. And it's 3 hours long.

Scanlas The 2nd

Batman 4: The Voice Rises