Letters from C&H to the world!

Jackobyte

Dear S,

I worry about you. I know you've been suffering from depression, and it worries me that you don't talk about it. I'm not going to feel any better about it until you either show improvement or start to share your troubles. It don't even care if it's me or not, just as long as you know you're not alone. I've been told that there is no need to worry, that you wouldn't consider actually doing anything, that you are far too atheistic, but I'm not so sure that would make much of a difference. When I heard you got taken to hospital in the middle of the night last month, my first thought was that you had tried. That hour waiting for a reply from your dad was horrible, and even when I found out you were alright, my thoughts were would I get the same reply next time or would it be worse... Please, there is always a better way. I am always here to talk but I'm terrified that you will do something stupid first. Please, I don't think I could deal with losing you.

J.

LoonyLovegood

Dear mam and dad,

I'm sorry I don't want a career where I can make loads of money. Instead, I want to do something that involves me following my dreams. You forced me into putting law down for the UK. Even if I, by some miracle, get Cambridge, I won't be going. I'm going to be a nurse.

If this means you'll throw me out like you've threatened to oh so many times, so be it. I'm going to make myself happy for once. You think it's not prestigious, yet the course I want is more points than the law one you picked for me.

I'm done.

Cíara

marko93

Dear CTYI,

I can honestly say fúck your parents (in the least offencive way) Be happy. Do what YOU want. Lay down your law.

From
Just another Boardie.



Dear Mother,

I'm getting a tattoo. Whether you like it or not. I know Dad will love it even if he wont admit it. He loves Johnny the Fox

Regards,
Rebelious Son









Dear X

You'll never know what shít you've pulled me through. The bad times you've helped me out with. You dont judge, you dont critizise me for anything. You're the hero Gotham needs, but does not deserve.
Much love,
Me.

Junco Partner

Dear drunken Saturday night customers,

Yes the prices are high I feel your pain but it's head office that sets them screaming abuse at me won't change them. No, there isn't a "right now" setting on the fryers, you either want it cooked or you don't, it's your choice. Yes love you're very beautiful but that doesn't change the fact you're an ignorant cow and the more you shout the more I'll ignore your order besides your not cueing at my till :rolleyes:. Sir, yes you the one directing abuse at my female colleagues and now directing it at Damien and I for defending her, please follow through on your threats, hit me, once. You fail to realise that I have sobriety on my side and that once you hit me our insurance will cover whatever I do to you. I'm free to remove you from the premises and hit you every step of the way out and I can make it a damn long walk for you.No we don't have any damn chicken I've been telling you for ten minutes sir it's all sold. Sound man ,throw your taco chip at the wall that's hilarious, there's nothing that I like more at 4 am on a Saturday night than scrubbing spiced meats and cheese off one half of the lobby. Of course we're open sir that's why the doors are locked and I'm sweeping the lobby That's right keep knocking on the door and I just might let you in. Just.a.few.more.times. Oh now you're kicking the door? that'll work even better.

Sincerely f0ggy92
P.S would you like the large meal or just the regular? :pac:

Davidius

Dear almost everybody,

Your emotions are scary, please do not hurt me.

Signed,
David the always level-headed and rational with no flaws at all.

EuropeanSon

Dear rest of my class,
Stop studying more than I do. It's scaring me.

Sincerely,
ES

SarahBeep!

Dear A,

I need my best fried back...
You keep pushing me away, I can't remember the last time I saw you.
Come home...

Sarah

xxx

cloud493

Dear Anthony
I'd call you father, but you're not mine
**** you
I hope you rot in prison

That son you never wanted.

Jackobyte

Dear Jackobyte; October 1st, 2011.

Tonight you are going to decide to do something. It is going to seem like the best idea in the world at the time but for the love of God, stop and think about it for a few minutes first. Please, just stop, and think, and consider everything! Consider the damage you could do, or the potential consequences. You can't begin to understand how low the consequences of your actions will make you feel. You can't comprehend how shitty you will feel in the aftermath of it all. You can't perceive how much this will hurt everyone involved, not just you. Your best friends will inevitably be caught in the middle of the whole situation as well. So please, I beg you, stop and think. When you come to this decision, wait 5 minutes, think about it, and then make the right choice. Now isn't the time to do this, no matter what anyone else says.

Your Future Self,
Jack.

ohthebaby

To the sweetest person I've ever known,

I've just been on Skype to you for 4 hours because we are both too lazy and cold to go visit each other. I love how we are exactly the same. I've never met someone who was so like me. I've been completely different since I've known you, you make me so happy. Last night you saw me at my worst, I was crazy, something nobody has ever seen and you took it in your stride. You made me feel so much better about everything. You are such a good person even if you don't think it and although you are beautiful on the outside (keep up the soccer bbz, rawr) I think you are a hundred times better on the inside. Our time together is ticking away and this makes me the saddest girl in the universe because I know it has to come to an end but we've changed each other and I wouldn't want anything to have happened differently. I love you!

Your babyyyyyyyyyyy.

Cakes.

Dear Laptop Charger,

You've been good to me for the past three years, please last until Christmas when I can lay thee to thy final rest.

Love,
Cakes
X.

IHeartChemistry

SarahBeep! wrote: »

Dear A,

I need my best fried back...
You keep pushing me away, I can't remember the last time I saw you.
Come home...

Sarah

xxx

Dear S,

I'll be home soon :P Just up to my eyes in college work and doctors and treatment. I may be pushing people away, but its generally for peoples own good. Trying to save them from the havoc I have caused and I dont wanna cause any more havoc or drama

Will I see you in Dublin for the protest?

A

xxxx

Indiego

Dear; me at this moment in time,

Please take some time to think about how stupid you are being about everything that's happened lately, stop being so irrational and realize that there are some things that simply aren't going to happen, no matter how much you wish and fantasize about them happening. You need to keep your feet on the ground and stop wishing for things to happen, focus on the things that are possible and move on from the things that aren't. Don't spend your days imagining 'what if' scenarios and get out there and make things change, even if you don't think it's possible.

Love from a concerned you.

Dear people who stared at me like I was crazy earlier,

Dont act like you've never just gone crazy and acted like a 5 year old in public. Blowing bubbles is fun. So is spinning around in circles.

From the girl who doesn't take herself too seriously.

PeefsPixie

Dear new friend, random girl and fellow boardies

Thank you for making me realise that there are people out there who wont walk all over me. I was so down and your kindness, friendliness and great senses of humour have helped me cheer the **** up. Good to know there are genuinely nice people out there even if sometimes theyr hard to find. You'll never know just how grateful I am

Aoife x

cloud493

Dear life, thank you for giving me a second chance I shall do what Churchill says, and 'write, speak, and act a different ending to this story'

MavisDavis

Dear complete and utter arsehóle,

Why do I even try to talk to you? You are possibly the rudest, most arrogant specimen I have ever had the bad fortune to encounter.

I thought there was hope for you. There isn't. Speaking to you makes me angry. You're a horrible person. I don't care if it's "only a joke", it's not very funny and I don't want to hear any of your jokes again.

Thanks for ruining a part of college life that I really enjoyed.

Sincerely,

MavisDavis.

Captain Graphite

Dear C&H,

This is the artist formerly known as Knifey. I deleted the KnifeWRENCH account because, frankly, KnifeWRENCH was a cúnt and I hated him most of the time. 10,000+ posts, about half of which I wish I'd never written. There's too much emotional baggage and depression connected to that account, which is why I killed it. (I had considered the self-indulgent, wanky "goodbye forever" post but I'm not that lame! :pac:)

Anyway I just thought I should mention that for some reason.

Sincerely,
me.

**********

Dear me,

Try not to fúck up as much this time. And do more to fix your life; the "woe is me" lark is getting old and everyone's fed up of it.

Sincerely,
me.

************

Dear hydroxyl group,

Our relationship has already lasted a lot longer than I thought it ever would. And you make me a lot happier than I thought you ever would. We both know we have about a maximum of four or five months left before we have to go our separate ways. The fact that we both know it'll happen is a huge relief; at least we'll both be prepared for it.

Promise me we can stay friends though. Bitter break ups do nobody any favours, and I still want you in my life. I'm really glad I met you. I don't know if I could have coped with 2011 otherwise.

Lots of love,
me.

**********

Dear former friend,

We were best friends in secondary school, and now we hardly ever talk. That used bother me so much, and I really missed hanging out with you. Whereas you probably never cared. You couldn't be bothered maintaining a friendship with someone who gets down a lot; you were always crap at the "serious stuff". You turning into the world's biggest hipster is cringeworthy btw. Anyway I'll probably see ya round at some point, but if I don't it's not the end of the world.

Yours apathetically,
me.

********

Dear you-know-who-you-are,

Right now, you have more friends and much brighter prospects for the future than I do. Life's really fúcking unfair, isn't it? :rolleyes:

While it's nice to no longer obsess about you like I used to, I just thought I should remind you what a selfish, cowardly, dishonest and two-faced person you are. Just in case you'd forgotten.
I lost a load of potential friendships because of you, which hurts a lot more than just losing you. I also wasted so much money on trains, hostels etc. just to see you. I could really do with that money now!

If only I could turn back time....it would have been nice to have never known you. Then you wouldn't have hurt me, turned your back on me when I needed you most, lied to me about why you did what you did....it sucks that every happy memory I ever had of us together is ruined by the fact that you're there.

But you know what the absolute worst thing is? You're still probably a good person. I just can never see the good side of you anymore. Guess that reflects badly on both of us, huh?

Sincerely,
me.

********

Dear employers and HR people,

There's only so much rejection a fragile person like me can take. I'm already my own worst critic, so I'll take any criticism you can throw at me in my stride. But when you don't even have the decency to reply.......that hurts. A lot. I know times are tight and all that, but people who come to your company for a job at least deserve some human contact.

My CV and my college transcript may not indicate that I achieved much, but let me assure you; the fact that I've managed to get the last four years of my life without killing myself is a pretty big achievement. Just a shame I can't bring it up in a job interview. Not that you'd offer me one of them anyway.....

Hatefully,
me.

*********

Dear university board,

Please please PLEASE don't reject my application for this Masters. I need this to get my life back on track. This is more than just wanting to study at your university; it's about giving me a reason to get up in the morning and not want to just throw myself into a river or something.

Hopefully yours,
me.

***********

Dear me again,
You really talk a lot of shít when you're bored and can't sleep. Stop typing. Stop typing NOW.

Frustratingly,
me.

***************

Dear Karin Dreijer Andersson,

Thank you so much for existing and making music. You make insomnia and chronic sadness that little bit more bearable.

Yours fanboyingly,
me.

J_E

Dear self 2 months ago.

It's going to feel hopeless. Try to keep your game face on though, I'm sure we'll pull through this one.

Signed,
you (also work on your handwriting!!! You will soon learn 'vulnerable' is not spelt 'vunerable'. I was shocked too.)

Grindylow

Dear Yupik of precisely 5.40 am this morning.

Staying up so late was a bad idea. Eating a pizza at that time was a worse idea.

From Yupik with a pain in his stomach.

Love ya anywayz babes xoxoxox

jumpguy

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Bitter break ups do nobody any favours, and I still want you in my life.

I see what you did there. :pac:

IHeartChemistry

Dear college work,

Please piss off and leave me in peace.

Regards,

IHC.

Dear the Irish Government and university Presidents,

Just because I hate my college work doesnt mean I want to drop out because I cant afford to pay the fees. Be nice and dont up the reg fee? Please?

Regards

A cranky university student.

Captain Graphite

jumpguy wrote: »

I see what you did there. :pac:

Dear jumpy,

I'm afraid I don't follow....
Are you calling me bitter? Because if you are......I wholeheartedly agree. I'm trying to fix that.
I suspect there's some joke in there I didn't notice though.

Yours confusedly,
me.

jumpguy

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Dear jumpy,

I'm afraid I don't follow....
Are you calling me bitter? Because if you are......I wholeheartedly agree. I'm trying to fix that.
I suspect there's some joke in there I didn't notice though.

Yours confusedly,
me.

Dear Cpt. Graphite,

No, I am not calling you bitter Captain, or dare I say...ole chum? I waaas referring to the hydroxyl ions role as a base (Arrhenius's definition of a base). Alkaline substances give bitter tastes.

In hindsight, that actually was pretty out there. I just picked up on bitter and ran with it, and never considered the proceeding statement. :P My bad! >.<

Humblest apologies,
jumpguy.

degausserxo

(Arrhenius's definition of a base). Alkaline substances give bitter tastes.

Dear jumpguy,
Both you and Arrhenius can tell it to my ma. Bronsted, Lowry and I will, in the meantime, be keeping it real.

Love you long time,
Degausser

QueenOfLeon

Dear Captain Graphite,

Hope you've seen all the "where the hell did Knifey go?!?!" posts dotted around Boards. Good to see you back. Onwards and upwards to happier posts

QoL

jumpguy

degausserxo wrote: »

Dear jumpguy,
Both you and Arrhenius can tell it to my ma. Bronsted, Lowry and I will, in the meantime, be keeping it real.

Love you long time,
Degausser

Dear degausser's ma,

Arrhenius's definition of a base is a solution that dissociates in water to give free hydroxyl anions.

Your daughter told myself and Arnie to tell you this, and I trust she will deliver it to you.



Peace and joy,
jumpguy.
(That kinda rhymes)

Pigwidgeon

Dear class rep,

There's being a good class rep and there's being an annoying fúck. Please get the balance right. I do not need emails from you giving out to the whole class about homework. This is college not place school. You are not my teacher. Cop on. Also if I wanted to drink at the march today I would, you sending us all mails saying "there's strictly no alcohol" has no effect on my decision whatsoever I'm an adult now píss off. You're not my parents/teacher or whatever you seem to think you are so you can tell what to do. You are my peer, the other class reps are nowhere near as annoying as you. Get over your power trip or it will be a very long year. I knew there was a reason I didn't vote for you.

Yours in frustration,
Pigwidgeon

LoonyLovegood

Dear business teacher,

You're my favourite teacher, class is a laugh, but seriously. Putting on an exam, after school, on my birthday? When people asked for it to be put on on a different day? That's cruel.

Ciara.

_______________________________________________________________________

Dear you,

I'm finally free. Screw you, and screw the girl you left me for. Oh, that's right, you did, sans contraception. I had a lucky escape. Enjoy fatherhood, I'll enjoy getting somewhere with my life.

Hatred,

Cíara

DoBhrionn

Dear Bonnie (our dog)
As of now, you're 10 (ish) and you're so bloody lazy that you can't even walk towards the back door and take a píss out there, outside, where you meant to do it. But no! You go to a shaded are of the house and take a píss there!!! You're not a puppy!!
We've cleaned you're mess up just over 10 times now. This is not even remotely funny. You're just simply lazy!!
Sincerely,
Dobhrionn
_____________________________________________________________________

Dear fellow 6th years,
You're all a bunch of childish b*stards!! Stop fécking taking my tube with majority of my DCG project!!! This was the second time it has happened! Yous do not know how much time and effort I have put into this thing!!
Please, just some respect for others property. It would be much appreciated!

Regards,
Dobhrionn
_____________________________________________________________________

Dear School,
Fix the bloody cameras!
A concerned student,
Dobhrionn

_____________________________________________________________________

Dear Sun,
Can you stay out for just a little while longer, I want to get home when it's bright.
Yours annoyed,
Dobhrionn
_____________________________________________________________________

Dear Hotpoint
Thank you for making such an interesting washing machine. It's sad to watch wash clothes get washed, but it's different when it washes at 1400 RPM!!! The clothes just disappear!!
The somewhat easily amused,
Dobhrionn

floutingmaxims

Dear guy who found my phone,

Thank you for not stealing it and for going to a lot of trouble in making sure it was returned to me. I wish you had left some contact details so i could thank you personally. I hope the mysterious ways of the world work in your favour.
Thanks,

The girl whose phone you found.