Letters from C&H to the world!

Ave Sodalis

Dear past me since September,

You probably should have done more work then, it wouldn't have been as difficult now, when your exams are upon you. Better hope the repeats are easier in August!

From me now

suitcasepink

Dear Tummy,
You'd want to cop on soon nuff.. 3 days getting sick and over 4 days not eating isnt good, yet you seem to be having the bantz. I have school and Christmas anticipation to be keeping up with none of which I have been able to do.
Also those cramps are not on, okay you've always given me cramps, I get it, its just the kinda tummy you are, but what I went through the other day was not on... I hear childbirth is less painful. And if it isnt, I vow to never EVER have a child, yup blaming you tummy. SUCK ON THAT. We could start over though, remember all the crap I gifted you with, chocolates and cakes and ice cream and everything else, but you need to show me why I should bother, Im "sick of" having to give so much in this, I want something in return, and that would be, to be able to hold food again.
I feel this song sums things up well.

Please let this bug be sealed again in time for Christmas, you know how I spoil you then.
Ps. I have also googled people without tummies, just as a last resort(Hey final solution if thats what it takes) but then realised I couldnt read the results coz they'd probs be gross..
Get better soon and also cop da fuk on.
The rest of your organ buds/body youre in.

floutingmaxims

Dear me, you daft so and so

Sometimes holding a grudge is better than letting yourself be walked all over repeatedly. Stop being nice to people who don't deserve it and be more appreciative of the people who are continually there for you.

Love Cawcheen (The boards me who often has the ability to think more rationally than you do IRL!!)

bluejay14

Dear M,
We've only been friends since last year but we weren't even that great of friends, I just became friends with your friends and it went from there. But that was fine because at least last year our whole class was practically one big group of people because it was just the 21 of us spending every class together making some of the best memories of my life.
But since the start of 5th year things have changed. And people have started to notice. 2 of us were called down to the vice-principal's office for a little chat with her today. It was more than a bit awkward to say the least. She started off by asking us how we thought everyone was getting on and what it felt like being in the whole different year where we knew nobody at the start of the year. That much of the conversation was grand but then it got worse.
She asked us if we thought that there was anybody who might be feeling like they were left our or just hadn't settled into the new year properly. As she was writing all of what we told her down the two of us gave each other the exact same look and mouted your name to each other while the vice wasn't looking in out direction. When she was ready for our answer we told her tht there wasn't really anyone that we could think of. But really we knew that wasn't entirely true. The vice knew too. She asked us if we were sure, we gave each other one last look and bit the bullet: we told her your name. We knew that was what she wanted us to say.
She told us that a few of the teachers had mentioned to her about you, that you seemed alone and a bit isolated, just hadn't settled down properly. It hasn't gone unnoticed by us either. She asked us if we thought that you intentionally kept to yourself or what was up. We thought that you might some of the time because naturally enough everyone just wants to be alone at times but we also said that it was probably that you were just so shy. She asked us if we thought that you looked uncomfortable or anything at time and we had to admit to her that you did. We knew from some of the other girls from TY last year who we're still really good friends with that most of the time during lunch time while they're all sitting in the locker room having a laugh and a joke or whatever you sit there with them. You laugh along with their jokes even though you probably don't have a clue what they're on about and never get involved in the conversation. We've gone to look for you a few times during lunch but some of the time you're not there. You know where we usually eat lunch too but you never come to us.
Trust me though, I know what it's like to be extremely shy because I used to be and for a lot of the time I still am: I don't even answer the door at home when the doorbell rings unless I'm expecting someone. I don't tend to answer the pone eother and I force someone else into making my phones calls. I can just about handle buying stuff in shops but if I can't find something I won't bother asking, I'll just forget about it and leave.
She asked us to keep an eye on you, very subtley. To just try and get some conversations going with you. It's going to be pretty difficult though because with 2 of the girls you're in none of their classes and you're only in my biology class. We sit beside each other and work together in that one class we have together. We used to be in choir together to but for the past few weeks we've been doing a choreography course, carrying on from last year's p.e. You did it too for the first fwe weeks but last week you pulled out of that as well and went back to choir. This is going to make it so much harder to get along with you. No, "get along" is the wrong way of phrasing that but I can't think of another way of saying it right now. I'm rubbish at conversations. Because I'm so shy I'm never the one to start the conversation, even amongst close friends. But because you're even more shy, there's really no chance of you starting one so it's all put back on me.
Even during the dance course, while you were still there one of our tasks was to come up with a routiney thing with specific elements. I ended up paired with you because nobody else rushed over to you. This is probably going to sound terrible but you gave practically no input and I was the one coming up eith most of the ideas, and creative bones my body has not got. You worked on a project last year with the other two girls from our close group of friends that went on over the summer because it went so well. Again this is going to sound so bitchy and mean but it's the truth and I honestly believe every word they say; but they were saying that you put practically no effort into it at least not compared to what the two of them put into it. Nearly the one job they gave you to do, you did it terribly and they had to offer a discount for the stuff that you ruined because it was so bad in comparison to theirs.
I honestly don't know what else to say about it but there's not a lot I can do about it. We've to go back and tell the vice about you and what we think before Christmas as well so I suppose we'll just have to wait and see how it goes.

bluejaymraz.

wnolan1992

Dear wnolan1992,

You are painfully aware that you are in serious danger of failing. So why, oh why, are you sitting around aimlessly browsing the internet?

STUDY YOU IDIOT!!!!

Sincerely,
wnolan1992

jorges

Dear me,

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have it good and nobody likes a pessimist. And those things that are going on that isn't good, well you can change that, so maybe try and change that from bad to good. From now on, let's try and have a more positive attitude about yourself, ok? You're smart (enough) and friendly so let's just try and make people see that and don't take every little thing to heart.

Yours sincerely,
jorges.

Colm!

G,
All I can say is talk. I don't get why you've totally gone silent, but it's slightly un-nerving, to say the least. With both the marathon Facebook sessions and actual conversations just completely gone yet you seem to be moving on with life as normal, I'm worried that there's something you're afraid to tell me (despite me having been there to help you and vice versa for most of the year), or that I've done something wrong...
Take care, okay?
-Colm


J,
Sorry for saying something that's depressed the **** out of you. Also sorry for telling what is an outright truth that you absolutely needed to hear. You'll probably thank me for this some day.
You can keep believing I'm an asshole for telling you to let go of an unattainable goal that you've been obsessively chasing for two whole years causing harm to you and those around you, or you can see my point.
Your choice, J.
-Colm


A,
Today, one year ago, I said something stupid that made me look like an idiot, confused the hell out of you, and something that I still to this day mean entirely and am slightly annoyed I messed up. It's an irrational thought that seems to be fuelled by nothing other than a desire to know what could have been: if never said, if said somehow else, if not for one factor or the other...
Hopefully you've forgotten long before I did. For all that, I regret nothing, just felt like getting that much off my chest.
-Colm

wnolan1992

Dear P,

I miss you. I don't know why. We were never exactly that close. It was more my own stupid fantasies than anything else... but fu*k, you could make me laugh no matter what. Always. I miss that. I just want to see your smile again. Hear your laugh.

w.

Grindylow

J

I nearly got sick when I heard you'd passed. It was so unexpected, such a tragedy and you can probably see from up there how much people cared for you from all the updates over Facebook. You really made me think about how short life can be when I heard what happened to you; really to live each day as if it's your last, because there mightn't be a tomorrow. I hope you're happy wherever you are now, and that peace comes to your family after this.



N

cloud493

Dear myself

Although this is a pretty stupid thing to do, writing a letter to yourself, we need a morale boost. And since no one else is going to do it, we are. We are not beaten. We took everything that ****ing boarding school, our dad, and everything else, they could throw at us, and we're still here. So we're not giving up now, cos we're ****ing better than that, we both know it. He who dares wins, remember that. And remember what we say, better days will come.

IHeartChemistry

Addressed to my ex boyfriend... Not even sure if I should send this.

I know you don't wanna speak to me, listen to me, see me, hear me, or even read what I have to say. So I suppose typing what I'm feeling is the only way I may have a chance of you reading what I have to say. I'm scared, afraid and just woke up. So many things I need you to hear, so many things I need to say. Where to begin is the hardest part. I've been wracking up guilt the past 4 months. Knowing I made you feel so bad, knowing that I made you have nightmares, knowing that I made you cry, knowing that I hurt you so bad by what I said and what I did. I wish I'd never done it. I wish I'd never said those things, because you didnt deserve it. Any of it. You deserved so much better than me saying all of that horrible twisted **** that I said to you.

You deserve such a happy life, part of whats killing me is the fact I can't make you happy anymore. You think of me and all you feel is hatred. I remember the fun we used to have, all the good times. It was so amazing. Like a fairytale. Then I lost control. Let my emotions take over, let my fear take over, and let everything fall apart. I ruined us. I ruined you. I hurt you so badly and I hate myself for it. I'm sorry, and I just wish you'd let me say all of this and more face to face. I suppose *insert best friend of his name* right though, you need space from me. I needed to get this down on paper so part of me could stop kicking myself for what I'd done to you. I'd say sending this is even pointless because you dont wanna hear it.

My therapist recommended that I do this, as closure for me. Everyone knows that the guilt is still eating me alive inside. I tried numbing it by getting a tattoo. Her name is Betsy. I thought the pain of that would stop me feeling like hell. It didnt. It gave me something beautiful, no doubt about it. Pic attached. I love my tattoo, more than anything. Because it reminds me of the fact that I am strong. I can conquer anything and everything that I want to.

Last week I got told I have ADHD. Not life long depression and anxiety. A bitta speed and I'll be able to focus and calm down. My focus and drive will come back and I'll be ok. It'll also made me calm down. In all aspects of my life. I've made a lot of mistakes. Too many to count. I screwed up. Once again, I'm sorry.

I've found my purpose in life and found what makes me tick.

New course, new housemates, (No *****...turns out she's a bitch!) and new Ais. I'm blonde now HA. I know who I am. I feel like a person again ya know? All the stress from my life is gone. I know I caused you stress when we were breaking up, I still cant believe I put you through that much pain. I just wish I could go back in time and take it all back so we could be ok.

I'm sorry.

Seren_

Dear me,

Please cop on and do some work. And don't ever say you will do something and not do it, again. It just makes things harder for others.

Shauna

Aoifey!

Dear you,

Enough is enough. You've messed with my feelings. You've fucked me around. You've made me happy, but you've made me even sadder. You made me believe all those things you said to me were true but I know now they weren't. This is it, I'm not taking anymore of your shit. I'm not believing anymore of your lies. I can't deal with it anymore. I can't deal with you anymore. You know how I feel and from now on I'm not trying anymore. I'm not letting you use me anymore.

I don't know what's going to happen from here on, but things are going to change. Fast.

From me.

wnolan1992

Dear me,

Well done.

Idiot.

Sincerely,
wnolan1992

Insect Overlord

Hello you!

I wish we'd been more romantic. It feels weird not having a picture of us together to look at and reminisce over fondly.

Also, I still remember our very first hug. It was awesome. Could do with a hug like that again!

Bashfully,
me.

Jako8

Dear exams I have yet to do,

I'm gonna roundhouse kick you. Hard.

Sincerely,
Jako8

wnolan1992

Dear me,

You do know you've an exam tomorrow? Oh you do?

Ok, you do know it's an insanely difficult subject, one which you will struggle to pass, and one which you have a second module in next year (if you get that far)? Oh you do?

Right.... so why the fook are you on boards?

Kindest Regards,
wnolan

_________________________________________


Dear Belgian freakshow,

If you're suicidal/angry with the world, shoot YOURSELF in the head and be done with it. DO NOT GO ON A FU*KING RAMPAGE AND KILL A ONE YEAR OLD CHILD FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luno

Dear _____,
There's not enough words to describe how it feels to have you in my life. Things are so much better than they have been in a long time now that you're here. You've made me realise a lot of things and for that I'm grateful. I feel like we share everything and I'd never feel uneasy with you! Our time spent together hasn't been long but I hope it does continue on until the future because you've no idea how you make me feel. The word love is thrown around alot but I feel so strongly towards you that it's the only way to describe how I feel.
Yours truly,
M&S*.

Aoifey!

Dear guy listening to Edel very loudly on your earphones in the library,

Although I find it hilarious, please stop, I can't concentrate.

Sincerely,
The girl beside you

LoonyLovegood

Dear me,

Come on. This has to get better. You've been doing so well, don't let it fall to the wayside. Don't let yourself go back in that funk. You've gotten out.

Stay strong. Get through sixth year and get the hell out.

Me

TheRealSquishy

*******************************************************
Dear you,
F*ck. You're stupid and I'm even stupider. How can it possibly hurt this much? Always though I was kinda numb to normal people feelings but by jaysus have I proved myself wrong. Ouch ouch ouch.

There's so many things I want to say to you but don't know if it's even worth fighting for anymore and that's worse than anything. We both took each other for granted and now it's killing me. I love you, you f*cking idiot. All I want is a hug from my best friend but that's you so...:(.

It's worse today. It's sinking in. I'm so disappointed in both of us. I hate the thought of making you sad (but you bloody better be!) and I'm not so fond of being it myself either.

This is the hardest part, goodbye. It's been amazing and you've given me the best 2 and a half years of my life. Thank you. You know you saved my life and you'll always have a special corner of my heart.

Love, Me xxx

********************************************************

decisions

Dear _______,

Your going to kill me when you find out what I have done, you probably won't want to talk to me nevermind confide in me. You need understand that I only did it for you, you need help and you would never go and get help yourself. Too much pride, like me. I hope that you understand, I hope that you trust me, that there will always be someone here to listen and offer a hand. Although I hardly ever show it I do care about you, everyone does, they just don't know how to talk to you because you never lower your shield.

Most of all I hope you grab the lifeline I just threw you,
I think it's your last chance to get yourself out of it all,
You are worth it,

Yours D.

PseudoFamous

Dear Me,

Work, idiot.

Sincerely,
Me.

Aoifey!

Dear Jacobs,

After last night it's even clearer you have a problem. Like I keep saying, everything in small doses is grand, we all like to have fun. But you and I both know this has gone too far. You have a problem. I think you're starting to see that yourself. You know I'm always here for you and we can get through this together.

Love, Arrow

TheRealSquishy

*****************************************************
Dear you, again,
We can do this! I loves you and you loves me and f*ck all the rest of it! Not gonna lie it's gonna be tough but you're worth it
Love, me xxx
*****************************************************

Luno

Dear E,
I'm sorry for joining in with the backtalk about you. I know you have no idea what we say but I wish we never did. It's not all my fault, someone else says something and you can't help but join in. The three of us probably only do it to better ourselves. I've decided I'm not going to be that person anymore, who am I to say anything? Hopefully the others realise this too but I somehow doubt it.
Yours forever sorry,
M&S*

Jackobyte

Dear -,

I've shown someone something that should have stayed between us but I felt I had to.
You won't let me be of any help so all I could do was put others, who you are willing to allow help, in the best position possible to support you.
I hope you don't feel I broke your trust if/when you find out. It had to be done.

J.

Hairycopper

Dear Boards.ie

I only joined a few days ago. I know we will grow to love one another but right now I'm not so sure, i blame grindylow for making me join

L



Dear work,

Please stop giving awkward hours! I gave you three weeks notice that I wouldn't be working today, and yet you ring me asking can I go in today. If you could sort your sh*t out that'd be great!

L

shadowninty

Dear cold,

Fuck you.

Soooooooound.

C

Mr. Rager

Dear Mom and Dad,

Sorry for fighting with you almost every day over stupid things.
We always make up but I still feel guilty.
You have to realise I am growing up and have to make a lot of my own decisions.
And I'm sorry that I can be such a lazy bastard, but that's something I have to deal with.
And all 16 y/os drink, at least I'm not getting drunk every weekend, count yourselves lucky :pac:

Banjo Fella

Dear T,

I'm so sorry that we've drifted apart. I would do anything to fix it, but I'm so afraid of messing things up that I treat our friendship too delicately to make a difference! I still don't understand how it could have happened. At least it wasn't out of anger, or annoyance. It just seemed to happen over time, and distance, but I always feel like it's partly my fault.

I met you at a really bleak time when I didn't feel I deserved friendship, and you were the most wonderful, inspiring, enthusiastic, hilarious, vibrant, beautiful, different, fascinating, and just... otherworldly person I had ever encountered. We got on so well together, and having you as my friend brought so much life to me, and changed me in ways that I'm so thankful for. You were my best friend (I still think you are), but before too long I had fallen for you oh, so very badly.

I never said or did anything about that because I was afraid of screwing everything up, and you were in a relationship at the time anyway... but ironically, I think my inaction caused the thing I was trying to prevent. I imagine you sensed a change in how I acted around you - maybe you knew exactly why, or maybe you couldn't explain it, but either way it probably made you slightly uncomfortable - and I think our distance grew out of that. I wonder if things would have been different if I just opened up, and honestly admitted that I was completely crazy about you.

The memories I have of you are filled with sunshine, laughter, stupid puns, formal-wear picnics, music, warm sand, owls, spontaneity, a feeling of infinite youth, summertime and possibility, and closeness I didn't know could exist. I just wish we could have more of them. I don't feel our friendship is dead, not at all. It's more like it's hibernating, and if we could hang out more often a lot of it might come back. Why, then, am I too afraid to get on a bus to Dublin and see you at the party you invited me to? I could still make the 3pm bus, but I'm stuck here, paralysed with indecision and fear. Ugh, I'm so sorry... I will make this up to you.

Stay awesome,

E

floutingmaxims

To G, (because there aint nothing 'dear' about you)

I'm after remembering just why it was so great to escape to another county and you were that reason. I enjoyed coming home at weekends because you weren't there. You were always out drinking with money you didnt have. We have tried to do everything for you. Im sick of having to look out for you even when it should have been the other way around.There are only so many times you can spit in my face and i will let it go. You have tortured my parents and there is enough going on in their lives right now. Why cant you just grow up and f*ck off. Blood is thicker than water... yeah right. No one treats anyone the way you have treated our family. I'm not putting up with it anymore.

From your sister...
it's time you started acting like my brother.

degausserxo

Dear brain,
We've had our ups and downs regarding sleep in the past, but c'mon, I'm trying to be good to you lately. So why do you insist on depriving me of a night full of wonderfully weird dreams again? You know you'll just be angry at me later for being tired. If you could just even let me snooze it'd mean I don't have to whittle away time on d'internet (why oh why did you make me watch a video of Colin Farrell on Ellen? Are you serious?). Please just let me sleep.

Tx bayub xxxxx áine

Indiego

Dear N,

Ok. You confuse me so much.
We used to be so, so, so close, and we even dated for a while (not long at all though), and then we just kind of drifted apart, but we were young(er) and naieve and all that ****. So then we went about our own buisiness for 2/3 years, and all of a sudden you make a reappearence in my life, you talk to me on facebook and text me, and Im pretty sure you're flirting, though I cant be sure, I suck at interpreting things like that and Im always wrong. But I know we have a history, so I know its not impossible that you might have feelings for me, but even though we talk virtually practically all the time now, we still dont talk much in school. What the deal-io? Are you purpously trying to confuse the fúck out of me?? Please, start making sense, who knows what could happen if my intuition is right and theres the potential for something more.

Confused,
L

IHeartChemistry

I saw you today, I don't know if you saw me. Maybe I just imagined the eye contact. First time seeing you since we broke up. I kept calm, didn't text you and walked right past you. Proud of myself for that. I don't miss you, I don't even know if I love you anymore. The time apart is doing us good, I just hope that maybe someday we can fix it.

A
x x x

Luno

To ___,
You are a horrible person. You can't talk to someone like that, not your own flesh and blood. Your words hurt and they hurt deep. It's moments like these I wish I was two years older and didn't have to put up with this ****. If you want me to do something ask! 99% of the time I'll do it just don't go expecting me to read your mind. The next 9 months can't come sooner!

M&S*.

shannon_tek

Dear, J

I know i may have offended you this summer, I know it has caused distress to you. It has made you feel Worthless for everything you have done for me in the past 15 Years. I truly want you to know that what i said is what they said. Its not my thoughts i was relaying the message.I feel horrible for letting it slip but I want you to always know you and Andy will always be second place, and im so greatful for everything you have done for me. Even though you are no longer helping me i hope nothing changes your still my Fam, I may not see you but im always thinking.

J.

WhiskeyGoblin

Dear Frank,
I was 10 years to late man. I never got to speak to you, laugh, cry be happy by your side. From the stories your sons tell you seem like you could of been one hell of a guy. A few of them think I'm basically a copy of you. Which is nice. I went to the graveyard today with Dad, I cryed. I cryed because I realised I never got a chance to know you. I cant help but feel robbed, because I know we would of got on really well. I still feel crap knowing this, and knowing I'll of never got to know Una ethier. Both of you guys are well before my time. It really does suck. I never see my dad too upset, but for once I understood why graves make people cry. I'll never get to have a pint with you, chill out or just talk to you and honestly it's quite depressing. I sit here wondering, what if you lived 30 more years. I could be a compltly different man. Oh well. Maybe one day our paths will cross.

Regards,
A grandson that just wishes he was born 20 years before.
A kid who misses the grandad he never got to know.
See ya around man.

shadowninty

marko93 wrote: »

Dear Frank,
I was 10 years to late man. I never got to speak to you, laugh, cry be happy by your side. From the stories your sons tell you seem like you could of been one hell of a guy. A few of them think I'm basically a copy of you. Which is nice. I went to the graveyard today with Dad, I cryed. I cryed because I realised I never got a chance to know you. I cant help but feel robbed, because I know we would of got on really well. I still feel crap knowing this, and knowing I'll of never got to know Una ethier. Both of you guys are well before my time. It really does suck. I never see my dad too upset, but for once I understood why graves make people cry. I'll never get to have a pint with you, chill out or just talk to you and honestly it's quite depressing. I sit here wondering, what if you lived 30 more years. I could be a compltly different man. Oh well. Maybe one day our paths will cross.

Regards,
A grandson that just wishes he was born 20 years before.
A kid who misses the grandad he never got to know.
See ya around man.

Thats so touching. I can relate. One of my grandfathers died long before I was born. His wife, my grandmother, had suffered a massive stroke and I couldnt even have a conversation with her. My other Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and quickly died when I was ten. Never got to know her as well as I'd like, but I still have fond memories. Just as I was getting to the age where I'd like to learn about his travels across the world (he was a seaman), my grandfather developed Alzheimers.. it was really sad seeing him - he passed away 11 months after my grandmother - just a few days short of her first anniversery. I guess he kind of lost his best friend, the person he lived with for 51 years. He mustve lost the will to live and fight the cancer he had fought off before with her.

I hope my kids get to know my parents, it always makes me happy to see my cousins kids being so close to their grandparents who'll hopefully be around for at least 20 more years.

WhiskeyGoblin

shadowninty wrote: »

One of my grandfathers died long before I was born. His wife, my grandmother, had suffered a massive stroke and I couldnt even have a conversation with her. My other Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and quickly died when I was ten.

I hope my kids get to know my parents, it always makes me happy to see my cousins kids being so close to their grandparents who'll hopefully be around for at least 20 more years.

That first section is exactly identical to me. Well I was 13 when my Nanny died.

I seriously hope my kids get to grow up with my Mam and Dad. They made me the person I am. God knows they'll need some moral support and sympathy from some one

EuropeanSon

Dear College,
Why couldn't you leave the 24 hr room open? Closing it for two weeks at the most important time of the year (besides, maybe, April/May for some people, but not for me this year) is just stupid and frustrating.
Regards,
ES

jefreywithonef

Dear Santa,
Where the hell is Christina Hendricks?
Jef.

LoonyLovegood

Dear Godfather,

I get that money's tight. I get that you have two young sons. Honestly, I do.

But a fiver in a brown paper envelope? Is it too much to ask for a fúcking card? I feel like you're paying me off.

Your goddaughter.

IsMiseLisa

Dear Young Me,
I wish you'd heard this quote earlier as it's how you try to live your life now. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Make sure there's lots to smile about.
From,
Your Future Self.

Dear Einstein,
Apparently I invented time travel. Suck my left one.
Sincerely,
Me.

Colm!

Dear IsMiseLisa,
I already invented time travel.

Colm! wrote: »

PS. did you just invent time travel? dayum son

-Colm!

IsMiseLisa

Dear Colm,
I travelled back in time and invented time travel before you, thus negating your future posts declaring yourself as the father of time travel.
Sincerely,
Lisa.

P.S. I always wrecked your time machine, 'cause my patent's still pending and all that jazz.

Captain Graphite

Dear Captain Graphite,

Ok so writing letters to yourself is pretty lame, right? You better not make a habit of it. But this one is pretty important so unroll your eyes, shut up and listen.

You've survived the last three years where, more often than not, things have gone against you. I don't know how you did it but you managed, and you should be pretty proud of yourself. And there'll still be times where you'll want to stick a knife in your arm or swallow a box of pills with a bottle of wine but it's natural to feel like that sometimes. Just try not to act on them.

2012 is gonna be such a huge year for you. You're already going to China for 15 weeks; you never thought you'd actually do it, and I bet anyone you mentioned it to figured you didn't have the balls to go through with it either, but it's happening. It's a massive risk to take but at least you're taking it so give yourself some credit. And, if your application goes well, you'll be doing a Masters in England too next year. There's still a big chance you won't get that and if you don't it's not the end of the world. A plan B will more than likely work out, even if you're not entirely sure what that plan is yet.

You're not the worthless fúckup you've always thought yourself to be. You actually do have some potential and 2012 is the year where you finally have to live up to it. You need to learn to stop feeling defeated before you've even made an attempt. You've always wanted to lose weight and get fit - so just fúcking do it. Stop coming up with excuses to remain lazy, miserable and overweight. College didn't go well; you've accepted that. So if you do get this Masters then work your ass off and get a first in it. You know you have the brains (screw false modesty for a second; you are genuinely smarter than (or at least as smart as) most people you know), you just need to get past the mental blocks you set up for yourself.

You've let yourself down so many times and blamed the rest of the world. Yeah, people have let you down before but you can't blame them for everything. Just take a deep breath, remember that you're actually not a worthless, useless, pathetic excuse for a human being (despite telling yourself you were for the best part of 22 years) and get out there and show the universe exactly what you're made of.

You've survived 4 years of college despite being stuck in a course you never really liked, being saddled with mental illness and intense social awkwardness, plagued by confusion about your sexuality and being let down or abandoned by people you thought were friends. That's more than a lot of people could say so don't beat yourself up all the time by thinking about how things could have been or should have been.

Think how great it would be to read over this in 12 months time and be fitter, thinner, happier, wiser and a lot more confident about life. You actually can do this. Seriously, you can. I know you think New Year's resolutions are generally a pile of **** but maybe it's a good idea to do it this time:

*Eat better and exercise more; you don't have to go overboard, just improve your fitness a little and lose maybe a stone or two and that'll be good enough.

*Talk to people more often. You've gotten better at making friends but you so rarely ever hold onto them. Try to be more sociable and actually get to know people better. It'll be worth it.

*Forget shít that happened in the past. It's simpler and healthier to forgive someone than bear a grudge forever. It doesn't mean you ever have to like or respect them, it just means you don't waste your own time dwelling on past mistakes.

*Try not to be so cynical and bitter about everything and everyone. The whole world is NOT out to get you.

You could be so much healthier and happier than you've ever been. Just don't let yourself down again. Please do it this time. Please.

Yours etc.,

Captain Graphite.

EuropeanSon

Dear Captain Graphite,
Tl;dr
Yours,
ES.

wnolan1992

Dear Captain Graphite,

+1 to the vast majority of what you posted.

Yours,
wnolan1992
___________________________________________

Dear wnolan1992,

You will not let 2012 be the same as the past 19 years. Cop on, and actually make the effort to make yourself happy rather than bitch and moan.

Grow a pair of balls and go for International Co-op. The worst that can happen is you won't be able to adjust... and at least then you'd know.

I know you probably won't take any notice of what you've just written to yourself, so when you're even more miserable than you are now next Christmas, just remember there's no one else to blame.

Yours in anticipation,
You.

Fergus_

I have a load to get off my chest now.

Dear Dad

It's been 7-8 years since you've been gone, you passed away when I was so young, it makes me sad that I can only remember a few things about you. If only you could see how hard Mom is working now, you'll be so proud of her and the rest of the children for having their own families and lives.

Sincerely myself.

Dear Mom

I'm sorry for being so ungrateful, you're working 2 jobs and managing the house and looking after me. And I'm always so snappy when you ask me to do some jobs around the house. I understand how much you work for this house and I appeciate you trying to get me to study to do well in college. You sometimes give me breakfast in bed and always cook the dinner and I hardly do anything in return. You usually give me money to go out (even though I refuse it most of the time), you insist anyway. I really do apperciate everything and I'm sorry for being so ungrateful at times.

Sincerely myself.

Dear Me

Stop being so unsocial, already in the past 3-4 days, you've spent most of the time in your room. Stop brushing off people on facebook and ending conversations quickly so you can return back to games. You had the family over for Christmas and you spent most of the time in your room. You didn't go out to a nightclub or a disco yet. Stop being lazy and gather your friends together and spend a day out in Dublin or in the local town. Stop holding back the fact that you think you're possibly gay, stop making excuses because you have 0 interaction with girls of your own age, you've seen people come out in school and why can't you do it yourself. Go out in the local town, meet girls, make some kind of effort to establish a relationship with a girl of your age. Stop making excuses because you're in an all-boy school. Make an effort to strike up a conversation with someone outside your circle of friends, stop using your disability of being half deaf as a barrier to not talk to others. Your friend has made an effort to organise trips to go to town and you've made excuses not to go because you want to stay at home. Get up, go out with your friends, make an effort to be more sociable, stop being so dependant on others and the time you spend on games/internet is horrific. Also go to the gym and get fit, you shouldn't be panting after running for 10 seconds.

Sincerely, me.