What to do with husband....

4zn76tysfajdxp

jockeyboard wrote: »

Sorry guys, am on the mobile so takes ages!

He was trying to get in the back door, he had only one shoe....
I opened it and he fell in.
All i could think of was 'he is defo not getting any anal sex!'

Just anal, specifically? I bet he's gonna be... devastated. :cool:

Mint Sauce

jockeyboard wrote: »

Sorry guys, am on the mobile so takes ages!

He was trying to get in the back door, he had only one shoe....
I opened it and he fell in.
All i could think of was 'he is defo not getting any anal sex!'

he actually couldn't speak so i told him he was on the couch tonight(serious smells off him). Gave him 2 blankets and old him not to choke on his own vomit.

Felt bad as he had eaten nothing so made him 2 toast (with cheese). Will remove plate shortly so he dosnt sleep with it.


Oh and he told me he had 'lost all hs money!'

Did you nick it already?

cml387

jockeyboard wrote: »

Sorry guys, am on the mobile so takes ages!

He was trying to get in the back door, he had only one shoe....
I opened it and he fell in.
All i could think of was 'he is defo not getting any anal sex!'

he actually couldn't speak so i told him he was on the couch tonight(serious smells off him). Gave him 2 blankets and old him not to choke on his own vomit.

Felt bad as he had eaten nothing so made him 2 toast (with cheese). Will remove plate shortly so he dosnt sleep with it.


Oh and he told me he had 'lost all hs money!'

The Phantom Shoe thief strikes again.

Looks like the money stealing is off as well (who had that idea..duh!)

ThelotusKid

Call his mother, then call yours.

boomkatalog

Trying to get in the back door eh?

Maybe he read the thread :eek:

hondasam

jockeyboard wrote: »

Sorry guys, am on the mobile so takes ages!

He was trying to get in the back door,

He is definitely drunk. Don't leave him alone on the couch all night, he might be sick. It's your duty to look after him.
In sickness and in health, remember. go mind him. good woman.

cml387

hondasam wrote: »

He is definitely drunk. Don't leave him alone on the couch all night, he might be sick. It's your duty to look after him.
In sickness and in health, remember. go mind him. good woman.

You are a saint and no man deserves you.

jockeyboard

He is asleep already. Bless his little drunken socks. Toast on the floor. Little does he know that if it wasn't for boards.ie he would be still in the garden....
Although he is in for it tomorrow(presume that's ok with ya all)

hondasam

ThelotusKid wrote: »

Call his mother, then call yours.

He might get her mothers back door but his own mothers, nah

Martyn1989

Ha he was probably p*ssed telling all his mates how much he loved her and shes at home talking about anal sex online with other lads!!!!

booboo88

hondasam wrote: »

He has lost interest all ready, not looking to good for you pet.
He must have married you for you sandwich making skills, not the bedroom ones.

im fooked so ............

minidazzler

jockeyboard wrote: »

He is asleep already. Bless his little drunken socks. Toast on the floor. Little does he know that if it wasn't for boards.ie he would be still in the garden....
Although he is in for it tomorrow(presume that's ok with ya all)

I can't believe you actually listened to a bunch of lads on the internet and treated him great. I really do love Boards.

cml387

jockeyboard wrote: »

He is asleep already. Bless his little drunken socks. Toast on the floor. Little does he know that if it wasn't for boards.ie he would be still in the garden....
Although he is in for it tomorrow(presume that's ok with ya all)

Sounds like another thread for suitable punishments. Good night,and as they say,may your god go with you.

mfceiling

Wouldn't do any harm to get up early in the morning OP to make him a fry...and try to get the kids to keep the noise down....there's a good girl...

4zn76tysfajdxp

jockeyboard wrote: »

He is asleep already. Bless his little drunken socks. Toast on the floor. Little does he know that if it wasn't for boards.ie he would be still in the garden....
Although he is in for it tomorrow(presume that's ok with ya all)

You should probably make sure he's off that couch before the kids get up. Not exactly the kind of thing they need to be exposed to. Unless you're in a Roddy Doyle book.

LH Pathe

Shop that muthafo' sho

break it off.

hondasam

cml387 wrote: »

You are a saint and no man deserves you.

I know.:p

jockeyboard wrote: »

He is asleep already. Bless his little drunken socks. Toast on the floor. Little does he know that if it wasn't for boards.ie he would be still in the garden....
Although he is in for it tomorrow(presume that's ok with ya all)

ffs some women are never happy, he is home, asleep, causing no hassle.leave the man alone. be grateful he arrived home alone.

Shanotheslayer

What I've gathered from this thread :

Hondasam seems like a top wife!

Mint Sauce

See, we can be usefull sometimes.

Who says we're all geeks and werdios on here?

kenmc

jockeyboard wrote: »

He is asleep already. Bless his little drunken socks. Toast on the floor. Little does he know that if it wasn't for boards.ie he would be still in the garden....
Although he is in for it tomorrow(presume that's ok with ya all)

In that case.....
get a condom, put some milk or yoghurt or something in it an leave it in his boxers/trousers, and give him an almighty kick in the hole. He'll wake up in the morning in all sorts of confusion.

efb

jockeyboard wrote: »

He is asleep already. Bless his little drunken socks. Toast on the floor. Little does he know that if it wasn't for boards.ie he would be still in the garden....
Although he is in for it tomorrow(presume that's ok with ya all)

Rampant Rabbit for you tonight then...

That's all folks!

hondasam

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

What I've gathered from this thread :

Hondasam seems like a top wife!

Thanks. pity I can't make a decent sandwich.:p

hop2it

I bet he hid his money somewhere safe like in his shoe and then hid his shoe where he can't remember

sophieblake

kenmc wrote: »

In that case.....
get a condom, put some milk or yoghurt or something in it an leave it in his boxers/trousers, and give him an almighty kick in the hole. He'll wake up in the morning in all sorts of confusion.

Ha ha, want to thank this 100 times

Mint Sauce

kenmc wrote: »

In that case.....
get a condom, put some milk or yoghurt or something in it an leave it in his boxers/trousers, and give him an almighty kick in the hole. He'll wake up in the morning in all sorts of confusion.

Ah that trick never gets old.

testicle

Joy Unimportant Grout wrote: »

You should probably make sure he's off that couch before the kids get up. Not exactly the kind of thing they need to be exposed to. Unless you're in a Roddy Doyle book.

Who are you? The Grinch?

efb

irish-stew wrote: »

See, we can be usefull sometimes.

Who says we're all geeks and werdios on here?

I'm the first, unless you ask the Catholic Church, and then ironically, I'm both...

cml387

It also sound like an ideal time for the old finger in a glass of water experiment.
Unless he's on the good couch,in which case forget it.

jockeyboard

ffs some women are never happy, he is home, asleep, causing no hassle.leave the man alone. be grateful he arrived home alone.[/QUOTE]

the smell off him would make me sob all night! He is happier on the couch where i wont kick him when he starts drunken snoring.

Win win:p
on that note good night.
Cant wait for my undisturbed sleep.

efb

irish-stew wrote: »

Ah that trick never gets old.

Tricks never get old,they usually die of AIDS before their 21 birthday

Shanotheslayer

hondasam wrote: »

Thanks. pity I can't make a decent sandwich.:p

I don't eat sandwiches, this could work Hondasam :P

4zn76tysfajdxp

testicle wrote: »

Who are you? The Grinch?

Well, no.

efb

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

I don't eat sandwiches, this could work Hondasam :P

AH wedding....

Mint Sauce

hondasam wrote: »

Thanks. pity I can't make a decent sandwich.:p

What!! Not even a ham toastie!!

:eek:

LH Pathe

testicle wrote: »

Who are you? The Grinch?

what are you one of mamas meatballs that fell offa di pla-te awh..

Noo

Don't forget the plastic sheet over your couch or adult nappy, your couch is worth more than your husbands dignity.

minidazzler

hondasam wrote: »

Thanks. pity I can't make a decent sandwich.:p

No, you can, you have a vagina which grants you sandwich making powers. It's not something you "know" as much as it's something you can simply do.

Quality

Oh god op. I bet your dreadig the early morning hangover horn he will have for you!

hondasam

jockeyboard wrote: »

the smell off him would make me sob all night! He is happier on the couch where i wont kick him when he starts drunken snoring.

Win win:p
on that note good night.
Cant wait for my undisturbed sleep.

Now you kick him, why don't you have separate bedrooms. my sympathy is with your husband.
you make sure you have the asprin /alka selkzer and a glass of water ready in the am.

I hope your conscience lets you sleep.

themadchef

hondasam wrote: »

He is definitely drunk. Don't leave him alone on the couch all night, he might be sick. It's your duty to look after him.
In sickness and in health, remember. go mind him. good woman.

Get him a blanket too in case he gets cold, oh and a pillow in case his poor little neck gets a creek in it. Take off his shoes and maybe massage his feet because after all, he stood all day at that bar while you were sat on your hole watching Eastenders, fairs, fair.
Make a ham sandwich in case he's hungry when he wakes, oh and keep the pint of water and panadol close by too, ya know what the head will be like when he wakes.
Remember, to keep the curtains closed too, and tell the kids to keep it down. If ya can ring in sick for him too that'd be mighty. Good little wifey. When the kids go, offer him a ride, wifley duty an all. dont ever forget your place, wife :rolleyes:

Ya could just throw him a blanket and hope he makes it and learns his lesson. Maybe set your alarm a bit early to shift him before the kids get up. Save him the shame of it.

Shanotheslayer

minidazzler wrote: »

No, you can, you have a vagina which grants you sandwich making powers. It's not something you "know" as much as it's something you can simply do.

Flirting with my future wife :eek: :pac:

Deus Ex Machina

Wrap the front gates with police tape and turn off all the lights.

minidazzler

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

Flirting with my future wife :eek: :pac:

Don't worry, I only want her for 48 hours.

bicardi19

hondasam wrote: »

He has lost interest all ready, not looking to good for you pet.
He must have married you for you sandwich making skills, not the bedroom ones.

I always thought you were an ass, now I'm sure of it. How Patronising can you get

Shanotheslayer

minidazzler wrote: »

Don't worry, I only want her for 48 hours.

Hmmm, How much ?

hondasam

efb wrote: »

AH wedding....

once is enough.

irish-stew wrote: »

What!! Not even a ham toastie!!

:eek:

maybe for you.

minidazzler wrote: »

No, you can, you have a vagina which grants you sandwich making powers. It's not something you "know" as much as it's something you can simply do.

I don't want to.

minidazzler

bicardi19 wrote: »

I always thought you were an ass, now I'm sure of it. How Patronising can you get

Humour is obviously lost on you.

themadchef

minidazzler wrote: »

No, you can, you have a vagina which grants you sandwich making powers. It's not something you "know" as much as it's something you can simply do.

The smell of single off you. I bet you wonder why.

Quality

hondasam wrote: »

I hope your conscience lets you sleep.

Reading your posts would make one sleep

efb

When did this get bitchy?