Dwarf for Stag

thehandyman

Hello,

Can anyone tell me if they know can you hire a dwarf for a stag night in Ireland. I have got a price from UK, £500 for the night, not including flights and accommodation.

The stag is on in Galway.

Thanks

JustAddWater

Sorry, I can't do it on short notice

stovelid

phasers

...Why?

Jen Pigs Fly

You'll have a hard time trying to find one ...

I hear they're in short supply at the moment

:pac:

mikom

thehandyman wrote: »

Hello,

I have got a price from UK, £500 for the night, not including flights and accommodation.

Too high.

amacca

did you try the Argos Catalogue? .......they've got everything I'm told.

So whatya gonna do...bit of auld dwarf throwing...some dwarf wrestling....bit of dwarf theatre?

Dotrel

Is Knacker Dwarf still in Galway? I bet you could get him for a ton.

minidazzler

I can kidnap a small fat child if you want, you can just pretend it's a dwarf if the groom has bad eyesight.

hondasam

Seamus the midget, he is from galway, Id say he would do anything for money.

Latchy

What ya gonna do with this Dwarf ...throw him around or something ?

krudler

The president doesnt do private bookings anymore, too busy.

thee glitz

Reminds me of
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=56002015&postcount=7

A "fellow down the pub" told me that he was at a stag party and in the middle of the first night a midget painted green came running out and handcuffed himself to the groom. The lads had hired some company who provided midgets for stag weekends. The groom was handcuffed to the midget for 3 days, slept, ate and went to the toilet together.

kincsem

http://martysmyth.net/nothing-too-mad/

Yakult

I'm not even gonna ask...

sunflower27

Why would anyone spend £500 on a dwarf. What is he/she expected to do for that? You all sit around and ridicule them? That's just weird.

AudreyHepburn

So you want to hire some poor unfortunate individual so that you can sit around, most likely getting hammered, and ridicule him/her based on his/her size?

You sound like an absolute charmer OP :rolleyes:

Wertz

ah for the good old days when some stripper turned up dressed as a ban garda...for a lot less than €500

Lumbo

Wertz wrote: »

ah for the good old days when some stripper turned up dressed as a ban garda...for a lot less than €500

The OT and pension is a lot better these days for your average Ban Garda.

Wertz

But not for your average stripper. Dwarves are eating into their market share.

DublinWriter

Dwarves are so Celtic Tiger.

earpiece

Call Joe Duffy.... I hear he has one in the studio full time.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9oiO6RVKrU

Latchy

DublinWriter wrote: »

Dwarves are so Celtic Tiger.

Yeah , every driveway had two or three .

Oh wait ...they are garden knomes

The Internet Explorer

I'm assuming your trying to find a dwarf to feed to your stag. I'm usually up for a having a good time and do enjoy the craic as much as the next, but this is just plain sick ! Did you ever think that you might just get caught ? You can't just go around feeding other human beings to animals you know ! And certainly not just because they happen to be dwarfs ! Not to mention the fact that the stag probably wouldn't even eat the dwarf ! If you go ahead with this sick plan, I hope you get caught ! Feeding dwarfs to stags ! No wonder the country is so f***ed up ! !

texidub

OP, you should think hard before doing this...

and that's the long and short of it!

Immaculate Pasta

I knew someone who hired a dwarf for a stag do in Edinburgh. The photos from the night out were some of the funniest I've seen. Basically picture a half naked bloke passed out in the middle of Princes Street handcuffed to a dwarf dressed as a smurf who was posing with a group of lads on the stag as well as some guy in a kilt, bagpipes the full works all posing round him

wonderfulname

There's a dwarf that dresses up as a leprechaun for the tourists on grafton street in dublin, maybe you could dwarfnap him?

AnamGlas

Looks like you've a small problem there

thehandyman

Thank you all for your short but helpful replies:D

Audrey ye need to chill out

mikom

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

So you want to hire some poor unfortunate individual so that you can sit around, most likely getting hammered,

The dwarf is fed with drink all night as well.
The last one that was at a stag I went to was a little prick (oh matron) and was still demanding booze when most of us were under the table.

AnonoBoy

mikom wrote: »

The dwarf is fed with drink all night as well.
The last one that was at a stag I went to was a little prick (oh matron) and was still demanding booze when most of us were under the table.

If I had to go to a stag of some dude I didn't know and be handcuffed to him for the night I'd be demanding constant booze too.

Johro

JustAddWater wrote: »

Sorry, I can't do it on short notice

I have to ask.. If you add water, do you grow?

mikom

AnonoBoy wrote: »

If I had to go to a stag of some dude I didn't know and be handcuffed to him for the night I'd be demanding constant booze too.

Will work for drink?

AnonoBoy

mikom wrote: »

Will work for drink?

Lots of it. And none of your cheap sh*t either.

I demand high quality booze you f*ckers.

Captain Limerick

There's a handyman out in the West,
Who's judgement wasn't the best,
He hired a dwarf in a costume,
who got off with the groom.
The bride was certainly not impressed.

Johro

thehandyman wrote: »

Hello,

Can anyone tell me if they know can you hire a dwarf for a stag night in Ireland. I have got a price from UK, £500 for the night, not including flights and accommodation.

The stag is on in Galway.

Thanks

Em.. What does a dwarf do for that?
In the interest of science, so to speak.

aujopimur

Male or female?

CreepingDeath

There might be some "movie extras" web site that has a list of them.

John Doe1

Try discountdwarfs.ie

Wertz

mikom wrote: »

The dwarf is fed with drink all night as well.
The last one that was at a stag I went to was a little prick (oh matron) and was still demanding booze when most of us were under the table.

Surely he of the vertically challenged would already be under the table or at a sizable disadvantage in relation to average table height...

stovelid

Dotrel wrote: »

Is Knacker Dwarf still in Galway? I bet you could get him for a ton.

Post of the month.

Even though I have no idea who Knacker Dwarf is.

Ellis Dee

Could it be that you and your friends are planning to toss the dwarf? Which would actually make you a gang of tossers.:D:D:D

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarf_tossing

The King of Moo

So am I to infer from this thread that hiring a dwarf for a stag is something that happens now, even if it's only on rare occasions?

This may be a stupid question but I'm going to ask it anyway:




Why in the name of the gods would you hire a dwarf for a stag!?

mikom

stovelid wrote: »

Post of the month.

Even though I have no idea who Knacker Dwarf is.

Count yourself lucky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzaj49mkDao

thehandyman

Hello all,

I have not heard about 'tossing' dwarfes before, but have to admit it would be a laugh.:eek:

Knacker Dwarf is also known as 'nappies', you are guaranteed a chase.

Would love to have a dwarf for the night, would be some laugh.

Cheers,

thahandyman

The King of Moo

thehandyman wrote: »

Hello all,

I have not heard about 'tossing' dwarfes before, but have to admit it would be a laugh.:eek:

Knacker Dwarf is also known as 'nappies', you are guaranteed a chase.

Would love to have a dwarf for the night, would be some laugh.

Cheers,

thahandyman

What do you want the dwarf for?

3ndahalfof6

thehandyman wrote: »

Hello all,

I have not heard about 'tossing' dwarfes before, but have to admit it would be a laugh.:eek:

Knacker Dwarf is also known as 'nappies', you are guaranteed a chase.

Would love to have a dwarf for the night, would be some laugh.

Cheers,

thahandyman

he just wrote a song about you.

Miss Olenska

As someone who has a friend with dwarfism, this thread makes me kinda uneasy.

He's just a normal, happy, successful person... with dwarfism. Why would someone want to hire someone for their body morphology? Genuinely perplexed.

kinetic

Its a tall order OP

wonderfulname

Miss Olenska wrote: »

As someone who has a friend with dwarfism, this thread makes me kinda uneasy.

He's just a normal, happy, successful person... with dwarfism. Why would someone want to hire someone for their body morphology? Genuinely perplexed.

Some people with dwarfism like to capitalise on their body morphology, case in point, the black leprechaun on grafton street, I'm more uneasy with the idea he thinks he can capitalise purely on his height, ignoring the painfully obvious fact that his skin colour means he looks absurd than the idea that someone wants to cuff a dwarf to their friend for a night.

Rhys Essien

OP,leave that stupid sh*t JACKASS to the Americans.We all like a laugh but this idea is plain weird IMO.