Due July 2012 Thread

mamaheidi

Silly I don't think you're being selfish at all. In fact, I think you're putting all your priorities in order and your daughter is a major one. About your OH not doing enough to bond - sometimes they say that if the mum breastfeeds the father should bathe the baby to bond. Not sure if it equals it but my OH has agreed to it! It's up to you at the end of the day. I think that most of us want to breastfeed but that may go out the window a day or two after the baby is born for whatever reason - no big deal. The way it seems that most of us are approaching it is 'if I can breastfeed and I feel it's all going ok then I'll breastfeed, if not then I won't'. And I've bought bottles & sterilisers etc because even if I do breastfeed I'll probably stop after 3 months anyway. So while you've made the decision now that doesn't mean that anybody that's planning to breastfeed will actually end up doing it when the baby comes! Don't be giving yourself an unnecessarily hard time.

notsobusy

silly wrote: »

Girls,
I think I have come to a decision about breastfeeding/bottlefeeding.
I think i am going to bottlefeed.
I really don't feel comfortable breast feeding - I am terrified of it.
I feel pressured to want to do it, i have a friend who is a midwife/PHN and she pressures me a bit.
I want to enjoy the first few weeks/months of my baby without getting stressed about feeding/latching/bleeding nipples/milk not coming in/breasts being engorged etc.
I want my husband to be involved as much as possible, he has hardly even held a baby, never mind feed one, but i want him to be able to do it because i know he will be happy to stand back and not get involved in the feeding part of it, which i know will only cause problems with us if i feel he isnt doing enough to bond.
I have an 11 yr old, who is already feeling left out in my life. It was always me & her, and then when i met my husband, we built a house and moved in with him. Then it was all wedding talk and now baby talk. and i try my best to do things with her and have our own time, but i know once baby arrives i will really need to treat her will a little more special attention, and show her that this baby is not MORE important, but equally as. So i want to be able to leave baby with my mom, so me and my girl can spend the day together, and not have to worry about expressing enough milk etc..

I have not made up my mind 100% but that is where i am right now.
Please tell me i am not being selfish by not wanting to breastfeed....or do tell me! maybe its what i need to hear to decide fully what i want to do.

Silly i don't think it's selfish at sll. Don't let other people bully you. you do whatevers good for you. I am in two minds on whether to breastfeed at the moment. Im looking into combined feeding and then onto bottle full time after about 5/6 weeks.

javagal

notsobusy wrote: »

Silly i don't think it's selfish at sll. Don't let other people bully you. you do whatevers good for you. I am in two minds on whether to breastfeed at the moment. Im looking into combined feeding and then onto bottle full time after about 5/6 weeks.

+1 on this. This is my plan too. I'm also flexible on it, if my boobies hurt too much or milk doesn't come in, I have all the bottle stuff...

cyning

Silly breastfeeding is not for everyone: I wouldn't feel bad for doing something that is going to suit you and your family. Your husband and daughter and you are just as important as the new arrival.

Also did you say your doing a one day antenatal class in cork? If you are can you pm me the details of where?

Me and my bump at 30 weeks: complete with unmade bed in background I just noticed!!

silly

nice little bump Cyning!

Thanks everyone for your replies.. makes me feel a bit better.

I got a business card from a woman that my 2 friends went to.
she does them privately, in her home i think (which probably doesnt suit you as you are in kerry?), one on one...but she is far cheaper than the courses.
I'm actually going to ring her there now.

Edit/Just rang her, she sounds LOVELY!!! she does it in her home, 1.5 hours. €60. She says the best time would be 36/37 weeks, so going to see her on June 26th!

Both my friends said she was very good - especially for the husbands, which is the main reason why i want to do a class - as hubby is bricking it.

She lives outside macroom - which is on the kerry side of Cork, so let me know if you want her number.

TwoMums2Be

Silly it's a hard decision to make & you have to make the decision that is right for you & your family I'm in the give it a go frame of mind for now but I have always suspected that I might struggle to breast feed so will have bottles etc on hand def will be looking at combined feeding possibilities also so that my partner can be involved.
There is a lot of judgement & pressure around breast feeding but then women also do the same re natural vs epi vs c-section birth & it all seems a little ridiculous to me

Just a note about your daughter feeling left out when the baby arrives. There is 4 years between my partner & her brother. When he came home & people visited, her mum sat her in a chair & gave her her brother to hold. That way anyone fussing over her brother included her & I'm sure it helped with her feeling a big part of the new arrival. You could do the same easily as she is 11 so will be far more able to manage a newborn
Another simple thing is for her new sibling to get her a gift of something she really wants...I know she is old enough to know its not really from her new sibling but if it's something she really wants she should acknowledge its from the baby

Mink

Kash wrote: »

And it also means wonderful things (joy of motherhood notwithstanding) - like an excuse to go to Disney Land (they'll be celebrating their 25th anniversary when our kids are 5 - pretty perfect timing ) and trampolines, and swing sets, and trips to the zoo, making rice-crispy buns and face painting - I can't wait!

Ooh I've always wanted to go to Disney Land, good call! Yeah I love going to zoo as well and when I was last over with my sister I spent 1/2hr playing in playground with my two nieces (no one else in it). I'm a big kid at heart so I'll get a kick out of all the kid stuff.

silly wrote: »

Girls,
I think I have come to a decision about breastfeeding/bottlefeeding.
I think i am going to bottlefeed.

I'd be big into the idea of breastfeeding as long as I can but I, in no way, think you're selfish. What you're saying makes total sense.
The point is you looked at all the factors in your life (& your soon to be baby's life) and made a decision. That's way more informed then people that just feed a certain way ONLY cos their mother & relatives all fed that way.
You don't have to explain yourself to anyone, your baby is going to be very well fed either way!!

silly wrote: »

Edit/Just rang her, she sounds LOVELY!!! she does it in her home, 1.5 hours. €60. She says the best time would be 36/37 weeks, so going to see her on June 26th!

Both my friends said she was very good - especially for the husbands, which is the main reason why i want to do a class - as hubby is bricking it.

She lives outside macroom - which is on the kerry side of Cork, so let me know if you want her number.

Aww I wish I lived in Cork & could go! I like the idea of a one on one and then you can just go over the stuff you need to go over.

I've not signed up for any antenatal classes at all & I don't think I'm going to. Am I the only one here that isn't doing them?

Bear in mind I've already done the class with the physio in the Rotunda. I'm not birthing in a hospital (but I'm more than aware of all the options should I wind up there) and I have the basics down for baby care (plus I'll have a midwife at the house on and off for first few days for when I mess it up!).

kildareash

silly wrote: »

I have not made up my mind 100% but that is where i am right now.
Please tell me i am not being selfish by not wanting to breastfeed....or do tell me! maybe its what i need to hear to decide fully what i want to do.

Your not selfish in the slightest...looking after you and your family's needs are the most important. How many of us were breastfed, very few I'd imagine and we all turned out grand.

I really disagree with the pressure that the midwives in the hospital put on you to breastfeed, while saying they're impartial.

Just be prepared that they will probably try to persuade you in the hospital.

When my friend decided in the hospital that she was going to bottle feed, because breastfeeding wasn't working out the nurse went and got the formula but came back, sat down on the bed with her and asked her "are you sure you want to give this to your baby" like it was harmful or something.

So with the PHN's and midwives be confident in the decision you've made, it's obvious from your post that it's something you've really thought about and its the best for your family.

notsobusy wrote: »

Silly i don't think it's selfish at sll. Don't let other people bully you. you do whatevers good for you. I am in two minds on whether to breastfeed at the moment. Im looking into combined feeding and then onto bottle full time after about 5/6 weeks.

That's my plan too notsobusy. I might have to leave baby for a night at the end of August to go to England for my brothers wedding, so I'm thinking about combined feeding too. But I always said I was only going to feed for the first few weeks.

At the moment, I'm feeling if breastfeeding works out great, but I'm not going to stress me, baby and boyfriend by trying to force nature if it's not working out.

Kash

silly wrote: »

Please tell me i am not being selfish by not wanting to breastfeed....or do tell me! maybe its what i need to hear to decide fully what i want to do.

That doesn't sound selfish at all - it sounds like you have considered it from all angles and are choosing the right option for your family. I mean, if someone asks you why, you have some really excellent reasons.

I do plan on breastfeeding, but if it doesn't work out, then so be it. The baby will not lack for love and cuddles!

Saurelin

Silly you are doing that is the best for your familly.
dont let anyone to tell you otherwise.

I need to breestfeed. both hubby and I have a lot of alergy and I was advised by my doc that breestfeeding can help us avoid a lot of problems.
and I dont wish my baby to have to deal with things I had to.

my boss approved my annual leave request. so from mid june i'm done with work :-D

javagal

Have so much study ahead of me in the next two weeks but then my exams are finished and im technically on maternity leave!
Woo woo !
Have 3 rooms that are now on my list to paint.

Must be my nesting that i am finding everywhere manky!

notsobusy

Mink I haven't signed up for any antenatal classes but I was talking to an old friend this evening and she recommended going to a breathing class. Do antenatal classes go through the breathing techniques or not?

Maybe pregnancy yoga would be the thing to do! Better get my skates on!

silly

Did anyone see Birth of the Nation (or something like that) last night on RTE?
I was watching it upstairs when my husband came in...i think what he saw frightened him, there was a woman doing a home birth and she did a bit of shouting - not much now in fairness, but my hubby was traumatised by it, once the baby was born she was like "oh sorry for all the shouting - it was actually grand"..but that did nothing to settle my husband. There was another girl who gave birth in a car (they didnt show it)- she was a bit of a tit now in fairness but hubby was like "can that happen??"

kildareash

silly wrote: »

Did anyone see Birth of the Nation (or something like that) last night on RTE?
I was watching it upstairs when my husband came in...i think what he saw frightened him, there was a woman doing a home birth and she did a bit of shouting - not much now in fairness, but my hubby was traumatised by it, once the baby was born she was like "oh sorry for all the shouting - it was actually grand"..but that did nothing to settle my husband. There was another girl who gave birth in a car (they didnt show it)- she was a bit of a tit now in fairness but hubby was like "can that happen??"

Hoping to watch it tonight on the player. Apart from traumatising your poor husband, was it any good?

Kiwi2011

ladies we are now into may! July is only the month after next!!!! i can now say Im 7 months pregnant!!!

silly

ah it was, you get to see loads of cute babies and go awwwwwww, i want one!!!!
there was one baby at the end though, my god, what a head on her...

notsobusy

Haha Silly I know exactly which one you're talking about as I said exactly the same thing as my OH. I was at a course last night and went back to OH's after it as it was closer than home. He was slightly embarressed that he'd been caught watching it!!

The course I was at yesterday evening was outdoors and everyone else was freezing and I was very comfy and warm with my own personal central heating....although I was a bit mortified when one of the other people managed to stop the whole thing for a couple of minutes by insisting someone got a chair for me.....I was frigging mortified!

silly

twomums2be, Just heard on Ray Darcy that they are discussing gay couples with kids on tomorrow's show. Might be of some interest to you.

TwoMums2Be

Thanks Silly will try to have a listen tomorrow!

silly

TwoMums2Be wrote: »

Thanks Silly will try to have a listen tomorrow!

they usually podcast anyway, so you should be able to get it online if you miss it tomorrow.

Mink

Kiwi2011 wrote: »

ladies we are now into may! July is only the month after next!!!! i can now say Im 7 months pregnant!!!

Jesus we are really close!!

Ad gone up for my replacement for work. I've to start turning over stuff now to one of my colleagues as my boss says "I could potentially go any day". It's true but that really put the sh1ts up me!

Saurelin, I used your healthy muffin recipe on weekend and it came out well. I NEVER usually cook or bake but I've found since I got pregnant I want to learn properly now.

Saurelin

Mink wrote: »

Kiwi2011 wrote: »

ladies we are now into may! July is only the month after next!!!! i can now say Im 7 months pregnant!!!

Jesus we are really close!!

Ad gone up for my replacement for work. I've to start turning over stuff now to one of my colleagues as my boss says "I could potentially go any day". It's true but that really put the sh1ts up me!

Saurelin, I used your healthy muffin recipe on weekend and it came out well. I NEVER usually cook or bake but I've found since I got pregnant I want to learn properly now.

I'm glad you liked muffins.

i love cooking and baking :-D

my boss found someone to cover part of my duties so I will be traning new person soon.

notsobusy

That's great news Saurelin. I was thinking about your muffins on the way to Dublin this morning. I was thinking how delicious they would be with hot chocolate

Saurelin

notsobusy wrote: »

That's great news Saurelin. I was thinking about your muffins on the way to Dublin this morning. I was thinking how delicious they would be with hot chocolate

oh hot chocolates mmmmmm

i'm hungry now :-P

kildareash

How did I miss this recipe for muffins??

Aldi r having special offers on baby stuff on may 10. I'll post details of some of the offers later when I can do it from the computer.

Back in work today, back aching already from sitting down all morning!

silly

i want the recipe too, i know i read it waaaaaaaaay back on this thread, but i cant find it.

TwoMums2Be

It's hard to find anything in our thread at this stage

I am going to try pick up a few bits for my hospital bag tomorrow & I have a question...where do you buy disposable pants & has anyone actually bought them?
Also have people bought maternity pads or the purple always pads?

Thanks

javagal

TwoMums2Be wrote: »

It's hard to find anything in our thread at this stage

I am going to try pick up a few bits for my hospital bag tomorrow & I have a question...where do you buy disposable pants & has anyone actually bought them?
Also have people bought maternity pads or the purple always pads?

Thanks

I bought both pads cause I dont wanna just get one and find they are crap.

Seen disposable pants at the baby part of the bigger tesco, also mothercare..

Mad at the start of this thread we were discussing symptoms and worries, now we're talking about disposable pants lol

silly

I just bought 2 packets of boots maternity pads. i'm sure they'll be fine. i will buy a few big knickers too that will be fecked into the bin afterwards.
I saw those disposable knickers in tesco too, but they were in the section with all the sanitary towels.

TwoMums2Be

My little one has been nice & settled in one position for weeks now but boy is she wiggling about these last few days! All sorts of lumps & bumps popping out of me today