Silly/dumb things that customer say/do.

SnoopyGunner

I used to work in a call centre, as a customer service representative. One of the funnier callers was a woman who asked me for the number of O2's helpline. The company I worked for wasn't O2 and certainly wasn't directory enquiries.

Least it was better than a certain tv and music industry figure who demanded a technician be sent out at 9 o'clock when all he had to do was reboot the stb :rolleyes:

"I work in tv, I NEED my tv!" Realised who it was when he said that... Rude little fecker

Esoteric_

Had a customer in 2 weeks ago who asked me what meals we do with chicken in them. I said we have various meals depending on what you want, chicken pieces, chicken burgers, sandwiches or pizzas. He then started telling me I didn't know what I was talking about and I should know what I want and I haven't a fcuking clue what I'm even selling. I replied 'I do sir, but you need to be a bit more specific as there are over 30 different meals here, half of which include chicken.'

He then started telling me I was a retard, slow, he knows the owner, etc etc. I politely told him that I know exactly what I'm doing or I wouldn't be working here. He then pointed at a sandwich board and said 'Can you make all of those?' I said that I could and that we had a deal on to get a drink and chips with them for 2 euro extra if he was still interested in a meal. He asked which ones had chicken (while calling me slow, clueless, not knowing my own job, gonna complain about me to the owner, etc). I said that there are several with chicken, and started to name them and asked would he like a menu to see the full ingredient list. He started calling me slow and retarded again, and eventually said 'Right, I'll make it easy for you, I'll have X (X had no chicken in it whatsoever).' I asked would he like the meal deal, he said no, and started saying I needed to stop asking stupid questions because I clearly couldn't do my job. I asked him which bread he would like his sandwich on, pointing out the three different breads that we do, and naming them. He said 'What's in the breads?' and I said 'well this is seeded white bread, this is wholewheat brown bread and this is ciabatta bread, it's a white Italian bread.' He then proceeded to call me a stupid retard for not knowing all of the ingredients of the breads. I told him politely that we do not make the bread in store so I do not know the ingredients. He once again started calling me a retard, at which point I told him to get out of the shop and had him removed by security. Cnut!

roast

Tech support. Asking a customer to type numbers, when the customer then asks..... are these all in capitals?

Has happened numerous times.

jackie1974

I was just in a shop with my 12 yr old daughter, she was in school uniform pushing the trolley when a lady approached me and asked if we had that box of disposable gloves. I said I dont actually work here so she turned to my daughter and asked her the same thing.

Thinking shes not really with it I said id give her a hand and got her the box of gloves, then she was asking my daughter how much they cost. I could see chloe was trying to hold in the laughing as she searched down the list of prices. She said to the woman 'they're 3.31 ' and she started grumbling about the price then said to Chloe 'Do ye have those peas that you soak ?' It was comical. I had to stand in between them and say 'next aisle' before she burst out laughing into the poor womans face.

Sashiee

it's all coming back to me now...:rolleyes:

Used to work in a very popular retail store that does clothes for women , men, kids and homeware...
but the thing I just could believe was that in this busy shop in the middle of a shopping center mothers used to just drop their kids off at the toy section and come back for them about an hour or so later!!
I cant even count how many times we've had to call security because of a "lost child" in our store...:eek::eek:

Cill Dara Abu

banquo wrote: »

There's a really long thread in the Ranting and Raving forum like this. I started it and it is my favorite child.

Linky?

corktina

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Had a customer in 2 weeks ago who asked me what meals we do with chicken in them. I said we have various meals depending on what you want, chicken pieces, chicken burgers, sandwiches or pizzas. He then started telling me I didn't know what I was talking about and I should know what I want and I haven't a fcuking clue what I'm even selling. I replied 'I do sir, but you need to be a bit more specific as there are over 30 different meals here, half of which include chicken.'

He then started telling me I was a retard, slow, he knows the owner, etc etc. I politely told him that I know exactly what I'm doing or I wouldn't be working here. He then pointed at a sandwich board and said 'Can you make all of those?' I said that I could and that we had a deal on to get a drink and chips with them for 2 euro extra if he was still interested in a meal. He asked which ones had chicken (while calling me slow, clueless, not knowing my own job, gonna complain about me to the owner, etc). I said that there are several with chicken, and started to name them and asked would he like a menu to see the full ingredient list. He started calling me slow and retarded again, and eventually said 'Right, I'll make it easy for you, I'll have X (X had no chicken in it whatsoever).' I asked would he like the meal deal, he said no, and started saying I needed to stop asking stupid questions because I clearly couldn't do my job. I asked him which bread he would like his sandwich on, pointing out the three different breads that we do, and naming them. He said 'What's in the breads?' and I said 'well this is seeded white bread, this is wholewheat brown bread and this is ciabatta bread, it's a white Italian bread.' He then proceeded to call me a stupid retard for not knowing all of the ingredients of the breads. I told him politely that we do not make the bread in store so I do not know the ingredients. He once again started calling me a retard, at which point I told him to get out of the shop and had him removed by security. Cnut!

did you not do Chicken and Spit sandwiches then?

retalivity

working in a busy bar at the weekend...

customer: can i've a pint of tenants?
me:certainly..........(puts on a pint)
custmoer: can ive a coke?
me: ok......(gets a coke)
customer: gimme a vodka too.
me: alright....(goes an gets a vodka)
customer: a whiskey and white lemonade
me: (goes and gets that)
customer: a pint of heiniken.
me: (me inside: ffs - gets a heineken)
customer: another vodka
me: (steam coming out my ears now.....say nothing)
customer: a pint of guiness as well.
me: FOR **** SAKE I CAN REMEMBER MORE THAN ONE F*CKING THING AT A TIME WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ORDERING A GUINNESS LAST YOU DOZY BASTARD?
customer: gimme 17 tequilas as well

GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH


every bloody weekend. idiots who would take 10 minutes to order 4 bloody things, then try and pay you in pennies or not even pay you at all. nightmare

ToddyDoody

Re in a supermarket with some weird vegetable "You're charging by piece. What's that about? Who decided that? You sure? (Yes) when did that happen? I've been buying there here for twenty years and they've always been sold by weight... Always.' (and it went on total for the bag -1.50)

Aodan83

retalivity wrote: »

working in a busy bar at the weekend...

Buddy of mine was working in a bar in London over the summer. Apparently ordering one drink at a time is the default setting in that bar. One day he was asked for a pint of Guinness. Did the first pour and as it was just him and the customer at the bar, was trying to have a chat while waiting for it to settle. Customer wasn't all that chatty. Finishes the pint and was just asking for the money when the customer says "And a pint of (some other drink)". In the end the guy wanted like 5 drinks. Happened on numerous occasions.

wardy2

working in Spar one day , customer comes in and ask ''is this Supervalu''

saa

You cannot quietly mumble your order across a deli counter and prep counter in a noisy shop and then get frustrated when I can't hear you.

Logical Fallacy

I used to work for a telecoms company and a guy rang in and wanted to know what we were going to do about the ghost in his house which was affecting his reception.

Fun call.

bleg

"GIVE MY MY ****ING SOLPADEINE!!! I KNOW MY RIGHTS!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO SELL THEM TO ME!!!"


No.

admiralofthefleet

i was asked in work last night - 'are you working at the moment'

no love, im wearing this chef's uniform for a bet

saa

RIGHT! I've pinpointed one of the key issues here, we.. some have an issue with asking a direct question they have to almost get permission or confirmation of something before they ask.

Hello, excuse me
Can I just ask you a question?... Well I'm hardly going to say no now am I!
and do you work here? in the scenario where they obviously do..

themadchef

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i was asked in work last night - 'are you working at the moment'

no love, im wearing this chef's uniform for a bet

i'll have half a chicken curry please.
With half rice, and half chips

Cracks me up. So you want a quarter of a portion of rice then

Have ya noticed the amount of people claiming to be celiac or have some sort of food allergy now? Cucumber LOL Allergic to cucumber me hole! Dont like it? Say so! Intolerant, say so, but actually allergic? Doubt it.

FueledByAisling

Fbjm wrote: »

Do you work here - some places have their staff just wear formal clothes. Alternatively, your name tag or whatever might not be visible.

Are you open - maybe there's a queue of people, but you're sitting there chatting with another worker/on the phone? I've seen this happen far too many times.

Are you open/closed - If they have a heavy basket and the only clearly open aisle is at the other end of the shop, maybe they're hoping you'll be a good samaritan and reopen for them.

It's always nice to give people the benefit of the doubt.

In fairness though I always ask people if they work there after a very embarrassing incident of walking up to a guy in Aldi and start babbling on about a product only to find out he was in suit coming back from a funeral..

hdowney

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i was asked in work last night - 'are you working at the moment'

no love, im wearing this chef's uniform for a bet

ot - got ne jobs

frickin rediculous. mount of times i have been asked in tesco where something is or such, and i haven't worked in that shop since i was 16!

tacofries

this summer i was helping a customer when at the same time another customer came over and asked me a question. so i gave her a very quick (but good) answer to get rid of her. then carried on with the first. she came back and butted in again and the first customer then went crazy! the two of them started fighting over me lol! these were both 60 year old women id say! was akward but funny !

lilysmama

Working in a bank

"are ye open bank holiday Monday""
"it's a BANK holiday"

mr.jingle

Customers coming up and asking me do I work here? No, I just wear this butcher uniform for the craic :rolleyes:

Had a cracker the other day: This man around his 50''s came up to me with a complaint about one of our meals(Its a chicken breast,potatoes,veg in a silver foil tray you cook in the oven) saying he had cooked it in the microwave because there were no cooking instructions on the packet(There is). He actually said it tasted very nice!!! The man is lucky to be alive! Not only could he have blown up his microwave he could also have seriously poisoned himself! Some people are just ridiculously stupid!

ringadingding

Me being muppet last week called my tv/ broadband company as it was Faulty.

Explained the problem etc etc, gave my customer account number, he couldn't find me in the system.
We went back and forth , me telling my address and number, he couldnt find me , I put it down to my German not being the best ( live in Austria ) and was getting frustrated.

In the end he agreed to send out the technician, 3 hours later ( great service) the technician arrived . Looked at the box all confused...
I had done the equivalent of calling sky out to fix my UPC box.

Called up the guy and apologised, but my cheeks were red that day.

dan1895

ringadingding wrote: »

Me being muppet last week called my tv/ broadband company as it was Faulty.

Explained the problem etc etc, gave my customer account number, he couldn't find me in the system.
We went back and forth , me telling my address and number, he couldnt find me , I put it down to my German not being the best ( live in Austria ) and was getting frustrated.

In the end he agreed to send out the technician, 3 hours later ( great service) the technician arrived . Looked at the box all confused...
I had done the equivalent of calling sky out to fix my UPC box.

Called up the guy and apologised, but my cheeks were red that day.

At least you apologised. Most feckers would complain.

hdowney

ringadingding wrote: »

Me being muppet last week called my tv/ broadband company as it was Faulty.

Explained the problem etc etc, gave my customer account number, he couldn't find me in the system.
We went back and forth , me telling my address and number, he couldnt find me , I put it down to my German not being the best ( live in Austria ) and was getting frustrated.

In the end he agreed to send out the technician, 3 hours later ( great service) the technician arrived . Looked at the box all confused...
I had done the equivalent of calling sky out to fix my UPC box.

Called up the guy and apologised, but my cheeks were red that day.

my god i would have felt a complete eejit, i wouldn't have been able to appologise for running to hide!!!

Frynge

it sometimes goes the other way too.

two nights ago i ring in an order for pizza.
asked name and ph number... told i'd be called back in a minute.

ring ring

"hello"

"hi i'm calling from the pizza shop for a delivery"

"yep"

"can i get your phone number please"

amused... "but you rang me!"

got halfway trough giving her the number but had to hang up because i was laughing so much

Eoin

Ghandee wrote: »

Do you speak English?

In Ireland............

WTF language did they think I spoke?

That could be a reflection of the amount of customer facing staff in Ireland with very poor English. Loads of fun in petrol stations at night when you have to explain what you want by screaming through a hatch.

sensibleken

I used to work in a telecoms company. One day a lad from tech support came over pissing himself laughing at a customer he just had.

caller: eh. i just got me broadband and it isnt workin
tech: ok can you tell me if the dsl light is on
caller: eh nothin'
tech: ok. is is correctly connected to the power source?
caller: eh yeah
tech: ok, are you using a laptop or a desktop?
caller:.........eh..what do you mean?
tech: what type of comupter do you have
caller: I havent got a computer.

what the...why the...who the!!!! The only thing i can think of is that the bloke was talkin to his mate in the pub who was telling him about all the porn he can get off his broadband so the guy goes straight out an orders it

Tehol

Customer "Can i have a quick pick for tonight, The winning numbers please, ha ha"

Customer "Where is the milk?"
Me: "there it is"
Customers" Oh if it was a dog, it would bite me, ha, ha."

Me trying to scan a product but its not working for some reason
Customer : " it must be free so, ha ha"

Now repeat each of the above 10 times per day, 7 days per week
Sombody please shoot me!!!!!

stephen_k

Idiot customer on phone: Hello... yeah... eh do you have such 'n such in stock

me: I do indeed

Idiot customer: and would you have them in this size

me: I certainly do, plenty of them

Idiot customer: Oh grand, I just wanted to check with you before I called over

me: Thats great, we'll see you later so

Idiot customer: You are open, are you???

No we're fúcking not open, I just like sitting in here when the shops closed, to answer the fúcking phone, because I love speaking to fúcking idiots like you

Nead21

I used to work in a hotel and one guy was staring at my name tag. He eventually tried to sound out my name...."Sin ea d, that's not a very Polish name!" :rolleyes:

Gob****e

Flyin Irishman

"I know my rights!" .....Without fail, a sentence I've only ever heard from people who had absolutely no idea what thier consumer rights were

ScouseMouse

Person walks in to the shop to the till. The till is at the front of the shop.


"Do you sell milk" YES

"Where is it?" IN THE MILK FRIDGE

"Where is that?" DOWN THE SHOP ON THE LEFT.



Do you do that in Tesco?
Do you do that in Aldi?
Do you do that in Dunnes?

If you answer yes to the above, please see below.


Please dont do it in here.

booboo88

stephen_k wrote: »

Idiot customer on phone: Hello... yeah... eh do you have such 'n such in stock

me: I do indeed

Idiot customer: and would you have them in this size

me: I certainly do, plenty of them

Idiot customer: Oh grand, I just wanted to check with you before I called over

me: Thats great, we'll see you later so

Idiot customer: You are open, are you???

No we're fúcking not open, I just like sitting in here when the shops closed, to answer the fúcking phone, because I love speaking to fúcking idiots like you

I have a mental image of someone sitting in a dark corner of the shop, shutters down, rocking back and forth

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Had a customer in 2 weeks ago who asked me what meals we do with chicken in them. I said we have various meals depending on what you want, chicken pieces, chicken burgers, sandwiches or pizzas. He then started telling me I didn't know what I was talking about and I should know what I want and I haven't a fcuking clue what I'm even selling. I replied 'I do sir, but you need to be a bit more specific as there are over 30 different meals here, half of which include chicken.'

He then started telling me I was a retard, slow, he knows the owner, etc etc. I politely told him that I know exactly what I'm doing or I wouldn't be working here. He then pointed at a sandwich board and said 'Can you make all of those?' I said that I could and that we had a deal on to get a drink and chips with them for 2 euro extra if he was still interested in a meal. He asked which ones had chicken (while calling me slow, clueless, not knowing my own job, gonna complain about me to the owner, etc). I said that there are several with chicken, and started to name them and asked would he like a menu to see the full ingredient list. He started calling me slow and retarded again, and eventually said 'Right, I'll make it easy for you, I'll have X (X had no chicken in it whatsoever).' I asked would he like the meal deal, he said no, and started saying I needed to stop asking stupid questions because I clearly couldn't do my job. I asked him which bread he would like his sandwich on, pointing out the three different breads that we do, and naming them. He said 'What's in the breads?' and I said 'well this is seeded white bread, this is wholewheat brown bread and this is ciabatta bread, it's a white Italian bread.' He then proceeded to call me a stupid retard for not knowing all of the ingredients of the breads. I told him politely that we do not make the bread in store so I do not know the ingredients. He once again started calling me a retard, at which point I told him to get out of the shop and had him removed by security. Cnut!

I thought I had to deal with idiots. although I have a niggling feeling he was illiterate.

Acoshla

Oh on the repetition thing like Tehol, with some of the baked goods we sell I'm always afraid people won't read the label on the box that says not to put them in the fridge when I'm selling them at markets, so I say "Don't put them in the fridge, they're fine where they are", which is ALWAYS met with "Ha sure they won't make it that far/to the fridge/home at all" *guffaw guffaw*. I hear this all day, and have to laugh and smile every single time, it'd be fascinating how they all manage to come up with the exact same phrase if it wasn't so mind numbingly monotonous.

corktina

Tehol wrote: »

Customer "Can i have a quick pick for tonight, The winning numbers please, ha ha"

Customer "Where is the milk?"
Me: "there it is"
Customers" Oh if it was a dog, it would bite me, ha, ha."

Me trying to scan a product but its not working for some reason
Customer : " it must be free so, ha ha"

Now repeat each of the above 10 times per day, 7 days per week
Sombody please shoot me!!!!!

gerat! I'll try all three today!

AeoNGriM

Sauvignon82 wrote: »

"Do you have any more of these"

"Definitely not, sorry, that's the last one"

"Well can you ask somebody else?"

"I ordered them, displayed them, sold them, and I know for sure that we don't have any more"

"Oh right, can you just check with someone else though"

Practically every single time I ask someone this, the 'other' person finds whatever I was looking for.

sophieblake

Customer: See these slippers, what colours do you sell them in
Me: Red, black and green
Customer: Do you do them in blue.
Me: No, fraid not, just red, black or green.
Customer: Pity, I like blue. Ok then but is there any chance you have a pair in purple
Customer: aaaaaaaaaaaagh(only mentally of course)

Customer: Have you any scarves?
Me: Not today but there is a delivery of scarves Fri
Customer: Will they be in then
Me: Yes they will.
Customer: But will you have any before then
Me: aaaaaaaaaaaagh

congo_90

Woman comes into the offlicence once a week.
Gets her usual drink.
Then asks for 'A plastic carrier bag with handles'. wtf.. Why keep asking like that!?

Folks, the latest I can give you a drink on a Wednesday is 11.30 If I like you I might push it a bit. Don't walk into the pub at 12.15 and demand to be served! You'll just be told where to go!

Customer: jasus the pint is only x price up the road
Me: I don't make the prices and your drinking here long enough to know em yourself.

Don't click your fingers, whistle, shout your order or wave at me. If i'm busy serving other customers at the counter I will do my best to get to you asap but don't start shouting while I'm taking an order off another customer. I will leave you to last if you do that.

Customer: *not even looking at me, walking towards toilet* Pint.
Me: *perplexed by rudeness* Of?
Customer: *returns from toilet* WHERES ME F*CKIN PINT!
Me: Pint of what? Water? Milk? Beer? We've over 20 f*ckin varieties of draught!

Lastly but not least. The lounge counter faces the carvery which is very obviously visible the moment you walk in the doors. Its 4pm on a Sunday.

Customer walks past counter, past the carvery with 2 chefs and customers and asks if we're serving food.

Angelandie

congo_90 wrote: »

Woman comes into the offlicence once a week.
Gets her usual drink.
Then asks for 'A plastic carrier bag with handles'. wtf.. Why keep asking like that!?

Folks, the latest I can give you a drink on a Wednesday is 11.30 If I like you I might push it a bit. Don't walk into the pub at 12.15 and demand to be served! You'll just be told where to go!

Customer: jasus the pint is only x price up the road
Me: I don't make the prices and your drinking here long enough to know em yourself.

Don't click your fingers, whistle, shout your order or wave at me. If i'm busy serving other customers at the counter I will do my best to get to you asap but don't start shouting while I'm taking an order off another customer. I will leave you to last if you do that.

Customer: *not even looking at me, walking towards toilet* Pint.
Me: *perplexed by rudeness* Of?
Customer: *returns from toilet* WHERES ME F*CKIN PINT!
Me: Pint of what? Water? Milk? Beer? We've over 20 f*ckin varieties of draught!

Lastly but not least. The lounge counter faces the carvery which is very obviously visible the moment you walk in the doors. Its 4pm on a Sunday.

Customer walks past counter, past the carvery with 2 chefs and customers and asks if we're serving food.

It wrecks my head! Menus on all the tables, are you serving food?!
Telling a customer it's a self-service buffet, and then being called over to be told I want a full Irish! And the worst of all, in a restaurant with approx 30 tables, 25 of which are clean and set, 4 are in use and 1 dirty the next customer in will always head straight for the dirty table!!! WTF!!!

Irish Guitarist

I used to work in a hardware shop and the amount of people trying to get a discount was unbelievable. It was a shop and the price of items was the price a customer was supposed to pay. It wasn't a jumble sale where you could haggle.

Then there was the complaints about how a can of paint or a hammer was cheaper somewhere else. Either piss off to that shop then or complain to the manager. I only worked there, I didn't decide on the prices.

Eoin

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

I used to work in a hardware shop and the amount of people trying to get a discount was unbelievable. It was a shop and the price of items was the price a customer was supposed to pay. It wasn't a jumble sale where you could haggle.

You do know that plenty of shops (also selling new items) will negotiate?

I'd certainly chance my arm on any big ticket item. Not on a hammer or a tin of paint though.

Irish Guitarist

Eoin wrote: »

You do know that plenty of shops (also selling new items) will negotiate?

I'd certainly chance my arm on any big ticket item. Not on a hammer or a tin of paint though.

I'm talking about small things like cans of paint and boxes of nails.

Someone also once brought in a half used can of paint that they had bought from a different shop (it was a brand that wasn't even sold in the shop I worked in) and asked for their money back.

Eoin

That's pretty scabby then, to be fair!

Ilyana

Me, taking used empty plates from customer's table:

"Was everything okay for you?"

Customer, thinking they're hilarious:

"Jesus no, it was horrendous, hur hur hur"

Rinse and repeat, several times a day.

(And then there are the ones who eat everything and tell you it's awful, and you think they're joking but they're actually not....:mad: You'll get no free meals from me!)

sparkle_23

I work in a deli counter in a supermarket. At least one person asks everyday "Were them chickens cooked today?" Even when we're just taking them out of the oven. Really annoying. There's a massive sign saying that the chickens must be consumed within 24 hours and can only be reheated once. The chickens would be like charcoal if they were left for more than 5hours in the hot bar!

source

Used to work in a phone company call centre. Had a call one day from a Chinese chap asking why his phone was cut off, I checked the system and found that he hadn't paid his bill in 3 months, and had finally been cut off. Tried to explain this to him and he was having none of it, calling me a racist and so on. Actually wrote in an complained me too the bollix.

Another time I had a call from a woman whose phone wasn't working. I asked for her number, didn't know it and didn't have the packaging with her. Asked her to take the battery out and take out the sim card, it wasn't in the phone. She magically found the packaging that she didn't have before and found the sim card.

I got her to call out the number on the card, which didn't match our numbers, but she wouldn't accept that. I then asked her what colour the card was, and she said red and white, Queue me saying that was a vodafone sim and I wasn't working for vodafone.......stupid yoke then starting getting thick with me and shouting at me that I sold her a dud phone and that she would sue me personally. Eventually she asked for a supervisor who just told me to hang up on her.

The other one that stands out is the guy that wanted me to go through all the phone features on his new smartphone, and do everything for him. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GIVEN A BLOODY MANUAL!!!!!!!

Il Trap

Worked in a supermarket for a few years. One of the best was a guy who came up to me with the most dead-pan serious face and asked me was a bottle of 7UP Free actually 'free'. I thought initially that he was trying to wind me up. He wasn't.

david1982

Working for directory enquries

Customer - Hello im looking for a man named Ronald he lives in Swansea and he drives A red van . Can you help me ?

Me -- No

Working for a vehicale inspection service

Me-- Hello N*T can i have your vehicale Registration number
Customer - My what ?
Me- Your Reg
Customer - What ?
Me -- The Reg of your car sir
Customer -- Oh do you want the one on the front of the car or the one on the back
Me -- There both the same number sir
Customer -- Dont get smart with me Boyo

Too many others to mention but these stand out

LeeHoffmann

I used to work as a waitress. One customer called me over to ask if they could rob something.

It was a bottle of brown sauce btw