Awkwardness at clubs?

Gonzor

Ive just turned 19 and went to my first nightclub there about 2 months ago. Ive been back a few times since and have been to two others and its the same old story every time. I feel like theres something I'm missing, something I don't know. I go out with my 2 mates and they usually end up disappearing into a quiet corner with random girls fairly sharpish after arriving at the club. And Im left standing wondering what to do next...

I really dont understand how that works. I go up to a girl and the conversation goes a bit like

Me: Hi
Her: What?
Me: Hello
Her: What?
Me: (screaming into her ear) I SAID HELLO
Her: Oh, hi
Me: What
Her: (screaming into my ear) I SAID HI BACK
ME: What



So guys what am I not getting here... how do are you supposed to chat up a girl at a club?

Mr.Success

Ya, i hate that. If your not loud and forward, its hard to talk to anyone

gifted

You don't, you just stand there looking like a muppet for about 20 years until some poor woman takes pity on you ...so my advice is save your money and just go to the pub instead and feck the nightclub

Sky King

God I used to hate nightclubs (for this reason and many others) back in the day.Ugh they're mingin....

Basically you don't chat up girls in a nightclub, you just get smashed and score them on the dance floor. Bad buzz if you're not great looking and rely on your wit and charm!

Samich

Join the nite club :P

starviewadams

That's exactly why I hate nightclubs!

St.Spodo

Preening like a tit got tiresome not long after I started going to nightclubs. I have no problem getting female attention but if I wanted to meet a girl, I wouldn't go to a nightclub.

amacachi

Me: "Sorry do you know what time it is?"
Her: SLAP "Don't ever do that again."


I'm not a fan of clubs. :pac:

Otis Driftwood

Ok,Im going to buck the trend of how these threads are usually handled and leave it open however I will say this only once so please read carefully.

Any smart,crass,unhelpful or silly responses will result in infractions.

Any promotion of the "pick up artist" ideology will result in a 3 day ban.

Id like to think that posters in here can behave like adults when posed a genuine question so please remember that before posting.

Howard the Duck

I had very little luck in night clubs when i was younger so i'm not sure any tips i can give you will be too helpful! But these days i find it a lot easier, But i got to places that have a more pub feel, places that would have a dance floor but maybe a separate bar and places that will be a bit quieter so you can chat to any girl you might meet.
Your goal should be to just have fun, people who look like they are happy and having fun they seem much more approachable. I have no idea about chatting up girls , I have never used chat up lines. i find if you get talking to someone you either click or you don't. Start a conversation the way you would with someone of the same sex, or just say hi and introduce yourself and then ask their name.
Like i said before i have no luck when i was 19 so i dunno if any of this advice will help you in a night club , but if not put it somewhere safe and read it again when you're 29

Sauve

OP, I think we all have cringey moments like this, don't let them put you off!

The only advice I can offer you is maybe don't approach a girl until you've made eye contact and gotten a smile out of her. That way you know she's interested already, so she'll be willing (hopefully!) to chat.

Oh, and don't ever ever use standard cheesy chat up lines. You'll make her laugh alright, but not in a good way.

Be confident, hide whatever panic you're feeling, and just go with it. If it's meant to, conversation will just flow all by itself.

Good luck

Galvasean

Nite clubs aren't everybody's thing. Lord they certainly aren't mine! Well not in relation to finding women. In the rare times I ever scored at one I would usually end up realising later that the only thing we had in common was being completely obliterated drunk at the time. Not my cuppa tea.
back in my single days I had better luck with the ladies in HMV than in nite clubs.
"I too like Jean Reno...."
That last bit isn't even a joke!

Gonzor

Thanks for all the answers. I was half expecting to be told Im a big social werido for not liking clubs

Just so everyone knows (I think I might have give the wrong impression), I can chat to people (guys and girls) all day and night. I have no problems in that department whatsoever.

But in a club I just dont know whether Im comming or going... I wasnt going to say this (but since everyone seems to be in the same boat) I just feel like a twat standing there thinking "what am I supposed to do- do I walk around and do laps of the place, or do I sit down somewhere on my own or what".

amacachi

Gonzor wrote: »

Thanks for all the answers. I was half expecting to be told Im a big social werido for not liking clubs

Just so everyone knows (I think I might have give the wrong impression), I can chat to people (guys and girls) all day and night. I have no problems in that department whatsoever.

But in a club I just dont know whether Im comming or going... I wasnt going to say this (but since everyone seems to be in the same boat) I just feel like a twat standing there thinking "what am I supposed to do- do I walk around and do laps of the place, or do I sit down somewhere on my own or what".

Most people I know don't like clubs but through a combination of trying to get laid, wanting to blow off steam (apparently getting drunk in front of a load of strangers is a great stress relief for some people) and just going along with what everyone else is doing most end up hitting clubs anyway.

VinLieger

Gonzor wrote: »

Thanks for all the answers. I was half expecting to be told Im a big social werido for not liking clubs

Just so everyone knows (I think I might have give the wrong impression), I can chat to people (guys and girls) all day and night. I have no problems in that department whatsoever.

But in a club I just dont know whether Im comming or going... I wasnt going to say this (but since everyone seems to be in the same boat) I just feel like a twat standing there thinking "what am I supposed to do- do I walk around and do laps of the place, or do I sit down somewhere on my own or what".

Know exactly where your coming from, cant stand the generic deafening nightclubs, however if you look there are some decent venues to go to where you can enjoy a bit of music and not wreck your vocal cords trying to chat to people

Sauve

Gonzor wrote: »

Thanks for all the answers. I was half expecting to be told Im a big social werido for not liking clubs

Just so everyone knows (I think I might have give the wrong impression), I can chat to people (guys and girls) all day and night. I have no problems in that department whatsoever.

But in a club I just dont know whether Im comming or going... I wasnt going to say this (but since everyone seems to be in the same boat) I just feel like a twat standing there thinking "what am I supposed to do- do I walk around and do laps of the place, or do I sit down somewhere on my own or what".

Dude you just summed up an average night in a nightclub for me!

Pawwed Rig

Gonzor wrote: »

But in a club I just dont know whether Im comming or going... I wasnt going to say this (but since everyone seems to be in the same boat) I just feel like a twat standing there thinking "what am I supposed to do- do I walk around and do laps of the place, or do I sit down somewhere on my own or what".

Haha I remember the laps!!! Always hated nite clubs. Still can't see the point in them, I used to go just because I thought it was expected and like you wondered was I missing something. Gimme a late bar anyday.
But from what I have seen just start dancing with people on the dancefloor and try and enjoy it, hanging out in smoking area is usually good laugh too. Have you any female friends that could come along? She mightn't desert you like your male mates

D'Agger

Sky King wrote: »

Bad buzz if you're not great looking and rely on your wit and charm!

Never a truer word spoken!

And also why I dislike nightclubs

BigDuffman

Hmm am I the only one that enjoys the occasional club night out in TGC?! Yeah they can be too noisey. But thats the idea of club, loud music and a dancefloor! Regarding social interaction / getting your creep on,it just means ya have to throw the eyes, offer a cheeky smile, if recipricated go in and start chatting? If it goes well, its a great excuse to move to a quieter part of the club to by the said lady a drink etc

Personally I'm not a big fan of coppers type establishments, would prefer to be having the banter with the lads in a late bar as it means that unlike in night clubs people don't get lost, sepereated and can hear each other! But there are occasions where making an eejit of yourself on dancefloor and chancing your arm are most definitely called for!

Otis Driftwood

I was in Coppers Friday night and had a good laugh tbh.Like everything it depends who you are with but I never go out with an agenda of trying to pull.If I get chatting to someone then great but Im perfectly content to just have a laugh with my mates.

Sauve

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

I was in Coppers Friday night and had a good laugh tbh.Like everything it depends who you are with but I never go out with an agenda of trying to pull.If I get chatting to someone then great but Im perfectly content to just have a laugh with my mates.

That's it. Any time I go out 'on the pull' it usually doesn't happen. If I pull on a pair of jeans and go out to have a bit of craic, that's when something will inevitably happen and I'll meet someone.
I think if you go out looking for a score, the smell of it just puts people off :pac:

D'Agger

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

I was in Coppers Friday night and had a good laugh tbh.Like everything it depends who you are with but I never go out with an agenda of trying to pull.If I get chatting to someone then great but Im perfectly content to just have a laugh with my mates.

Sauvignon82 wrote: »

That's it. Any time I go out 'on the pull' it usually doesn't happen. If I pull on a pair of jeans and go out to have a bit of craic, that's when something will inevitably happen and I'll meet someone.
I think if you go out looking for a score, the smell of it just puts people off :pac:

Exactly - I thought the main point the OP was making that from being able to strike up a conversation/start talking to a woman, clubs are a fairly poor place to do so.

And I completely agree that if you're going out with the view of trying to meet somebody then it's more than likely not going to happen

I've had some great nights in clubs when with mates - one of my problems is my mates want to go to the same club every Saturday night which is fairly tedious imo - variety being the spice of life and all

the_syco

Take up smoking? Just kidding :P

But do go out to the smoking area, and do carry a lighter. The smoking area is usually the "quite area" where people can have a chat in the nightclub, and also most people won't be stressed out, as they're smoking :pac:

jaffacakesyum

God I know (some) people go to clubs just to meet people and hook up but do laps of the place until you find someone??? :pac:

OP, it's hard to meet girls at nightclubs. The music is loud, most people are off their faces drunk..so don't feel disheartened! Girls can be right b1tches too there (obviously not all but some)

My advice would not to go to clubs with the aim of meeting a girl/scoring (if that's what your talking about here - I could be reading you wrong). It is incredibly easy to spot a guy who's just out on the prowl :pac:

Doc Ruby

Feel confident, that will help you to exude the emotion, and body language of course since most other languages are impossible. Its been a while now but the winning attitude is usually "I couldn't give a tinkers".

EdenHazard

go out with the intention that your not gonna pull but thats not same as havin low confidence. its only recently that i realised something-MOST GIRLS WONT WANT TO MEET YOU, at least not in a nightclub settin, when your tryna hit on a girl, drunk you look like a state and girls who in everyday life would call u a babe think ur disgusting and a creep in a nightclub. this used to get to me and i wouldnt approach anyone fearing rejection but now i just go for it and meet a good few girls most nights.
im not an expert or near it this just has been my experience for someone who a year and half ago nightclubs were weird and awkward places. now i like them for what they are

3hn2givr7mx1sc

Smoking area is where I spend 75-85% of my time in a club. Rest of it between the bar and dancefloor. Love the smoking area!

EdenHazard

smokin area is bad buzz, need to be on the dancefloor pullin some chris brown moves and a few 8's

Sky King

EdenHazard wrote: »

smokin area is bad buzz, need to be on the dancefloor pullin some chris brown moves and a few 8's

Don't let the bouncers see you... or the cops for that matter!:)

shangri la

Meet a girl in the pub/party first and then bring her to the club or just stay in a late bar as I always think they are better craic anyway.

pajunior

I'm going to buck the trend a little and say I enjoy nightclubs.

However I am taken so am not on the pull and and usually go with large crowds often containing other non-single people, this may increase the amount of fun. We go to have a laugh, have some drinks, dance around like eijits and make fun of anyone who does shift/score/eat someones face.
Maybe suggest going to late-bar type places that are half pub half nightclub, flannerys or doyles in town would be a couple that spring to mind.

If I was single I don't think going with two other single lads would be my cup of tea, if you're just going to try do one thing it seems more like work then :pac:

Mental Mickey

Gonzor wrote: »

Ive just turned 19 and went to my first nightclub there about 2 months ago. Ive been back a few times since and have been to two others and its the same old story every time. I feel like theres something I'm missing, something I don't know. I go out with my 2 mates and they usually end up disappearing into a quiet corner with random girls fairly sharpish after arriving at the club. And Im left standing wondering what to do next...

I really dont understand how that works. I go up to a girl and the conversation goes a bit like

Me: Hi
Her: What?
Me: Hello
Her: What?
Me: (screaming into her ear) I SAID HELLO
Her: Oh, hi
Me: What
Her: (screaming into my ear) I SAID HI BACK
ME: What



So guys what am I not getting here... how do are you supposed to chat up a girl at a club?

F**king hate nightclubs.

wiger toods

I dont know op, i love nightclubs. I will agree with you on the roaring into someone's ear bit. That's an almighty pain in the hole but otherwise i enjoy them. As for how to manage the women situation when your in there, well when you find out come back and let the rest of us know.

phoenix0250

Not a big fan of clubs either, however, in there you dont score by talking but dancing

gtrizy

From my experience over the past few years going to nightclubs (22 now) you've better chance in a college city, i was in galway myself and college girls are easier to pull but if you're not in a county with a college heres a few tips you can use:

1. Smoking area, even if you don't smoke this is usually where 90% of conversations with randoms start because well.. you can actually hear each other and friends will stick to their friends so if you see 2-3 women and you're with a friend walk over ask something stupid like where ye from or just a random question they'll answer and after the first moment of contact if they're interested you'll know it - they/her will seem friendly and not look in a hurry to leave.

2. Dance floor, the classic 'shift and drift' CPs in galway is great for this! basicly you just go around from girl to girl you'd want to shift and start dancing near them, make contact or smile and if she dances back or smiles back and seems gamey you'll manage the rest yourself, must girls you shift on the dance floor usually won't be the one you're bringing home its more of a banter thing.

3. Supermax - friends with friends same as the smoking area the craic inside and outside supermax (no matter what county) is mighty.

4. House Parties - Again easier to do in a college city or college estates but thats not always the case, with the right group of friends there'll usually be a house party every weekend and its a gold mine for meeting women and usually theres a spare bedroom some where the 'sex room' as its called in one of the lads' house. Sit down near/beside her and chat away or wait for her to chat to you, everyone loves a seat at a house party so it won't look odd sitting beside someone you don't know once you know at least one person in the room :P

5. Confidence, humor and eye contact you're at a nightclub so even if you're not the best looking chap if you're a laugh and seem cool she'll find you more attractive that with beer goggles (yes women have em too!)

6. Just before you get the go ahead and gonna go for the kill call her fat


Ya 6 is a joke, be yourself.

Pawwed Rig

gtrizy wrote: »

'shift and drift'

:eek:

Sauve

Good God almighty- that makes me glad I'm not a young wan anymore :pac:

Dave!

Sauvignon82 wrote: »

Good God almighty- that makes me glad I'm not a young wan anymore :pac:

Finally saved up for that operation then?

DB21

Hate them when I'm in any way sober. Few pints of cider, though, and the world (or nightclub) is my oyster.

Sauve

Dave! wrote: »

Finally saved up for that operation then?

Shup smartass :pac:
I'm just an aul wan now...

snafuk35

Nightclubs are great.
It's well worth your bother getting a decent haircut, nice clothes and working out more, cutting out the junk food and stop drinking so much.
Women don't dig that sweaty bloated beer bellied look.
If you want to know how to dance, take some dance lessons or watch a few videos on the internet.
And regards talking to women, just talk to them.

the_syco

snafuk35 wrote: »

If you want to know how to dance, take some dance lessons or watch a few videos on the internet.

Men don't want to dance, only women do. How is this good? It's good as any dance class you goto that need a man to lead the dance (ceroc, etc), you'll be in demand. There'll be women of all ages there, and you'll also learn how to dance.

Dravokivich

the_syco wrote: »

Men don't want to dance, only women do. How is this good? It's good as any dance class you goto that need a man to lead the dance (ceroc, etc), you'll be in demand. There'll be women of all ages there, and you'll also learn how to dance.

Huh?

You clearly haven't been out drinking with me enough.

--Kaiser--

the_syco wrote: »

Men don't want to dance, only women do..

I like dancing plenty

snafuk35

the_syco wrote: »

Men don't want to dance, only women do. How is this good? It's good as any dance class you goto that need a man to lead the dance (ceroc, etc), you'll be in demand. There'll be women of all ages there, and you'll also learn how to dance.

I don't just depend on nightclubs to meet the opposite sex but they are after all packed with hot women who are looking for men so you are a single man you are going to be missing out if you are just standing around with a pint in your hand looking like a lost soul. I did a few salsa classes and I met some gorgeous women there too. Having fun isn't difficult if you just become a more talkative friendly person in general. So if you know a few steps, if you dress nice, look after your body and are determined to let go and have fun, nightclubs shouldn't be such awkward locations.

G-Money

I really like niteclubs and I'm 34 and I don't intend to stop going anytime soon. I never score in them though but that's for a lot of reasons. Although having said that, there's been more than one occasion where I've grabbed defeat from the jaws of victory so I suppose it's inaccurate of me to say I can't score.

WolfForager

Have gotten increasingly fed up of nightclubs recently and i'm only 20 :eek:

Would much prefer to stay drinking in a gaff or stay in the pub til closing and go home. Seem to prefer being able to chat to someone in a bar as opposed to screaming at someone in a club.

EdenHazard

i went through that phaze man then realized gaffs are ****in ****

Richard Hillman

Im 26 and have been going to nightclubs since i was around 19. I think im rather handsome and my mates say im "not ugly" (and my mates would be delighted to tell me im not good looking :pac:). Of all the times ive been to nightclubs over the years (which is probably in 3 figures) ive never struck up a friendship with a member of the opposite sex, had sex with a member of the opposite and im struggling to even think if ive ever kissed a member of the opposite sex that ive randomly met at a nightclub.

Im not saying its impossibly to do any of these things in a nightclub but its very unlikely to happen. I just go to nightclubs now a days for the extra drinking hours and the views are always nice . In my opinion, the only way to succeed in conquesting the opposite sex in a night club is that you have to be a creep. I aint a creep and the OP doesnt seem to be one either so my advice is to just get hammered and enjoy the views. When you accept to yourself before you enter the nightclub that you know nothing is going to happen, you have a better time.

snafuk35

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Im 26 and have been going to nightclubs since i was around 19. I think im rather handsome and my mates say im "not ugly" (and my mates would be delighted to tell me im not good looking :pac:). Of all the times ive been to nightclubs over the years (which is probably in 3 figures) ive never struck up a friendship with a member of the opposite sex, had sex with a member of the opposite and im struggling to even think if ive ever kissed a member of the opposite sex that ive randomly met at a nightclub.

Im not saying its impossibly to do any of these things in a nightclub but its very unlikely to happen. I just go to nightclubs now a days for the extra drinking hours and the views are always nice . In my opinion, the only way to succeed in conquesting the opposite sex in a night club is that you have to be a creep. I aint a creep and the OP doesnt seem to be one either so my advice is to just get hammered and enjoy the views. When you accept to yourself before you enter the nightclub that you know nothing is going to happen, you have a better time.

You would have more success if you cut out the drinking, stopped being a wall flower and just went around chatting up the girls. You can actually enjoy the company of beautiful women without putting on an act or using stupid lines or other gimmicks. They aren't goddesses or something. They can smell fear and insecurity a mile away. The only way to get rid of the shyness is just to plunge in and get a whole string of defeats and embarrassments, dump the tough guy ego routine, start learning how to communicate with women. Women aren't just pieces of flesh, they are living breathing human beings and you don't have to be a creep to be good with the ladies. Nightclubs are full of women who want a good time and who go there to meet men so if you want to meet someone they are the place to be. It's all about letting go. That's all there is to it really.

Howard the Duck

Richard Hillman wrote: »

In my opinion, the only way to succeed in conquesting the opposite sex in a night club is that you have to be a creep. I aint a creep and the OP doesnt seem to be one either so my advice is to just get hammered and enjoy the views. When you accept to yourself before you enter the nightclub that you know nothing is going to happen, you have a better time.

Thats not true in my experience , Making the effort to talk to a girl doesn't make you a creep. Going out chatting up every girls in the club grabbing them and being a general dick makes you a creep.
If you're not hideous and you make an effort to chat to a few girls you will have some luck. Guys get too nervous about it, a lot of the time all it will take is "hello" introduce yourself and ask their name.
If you can't do that then the dance floor is a great place to meet girls , My awesome dances moves have attracted a few girls in my time. Thats not because i try to sleaze up to them on the dance floor but more because when i'm dancing i don't give a crap and i'm just having fun.