Awkwardness at clubs?

Richard Hillman

TBH i'd never approach a strange girl without feeling like a creep. They would be fully in their rights to tell me to eff off. Its just not in my make up to approach strangers for a "chat" and i think the OP is probably similar. Im not even that shy a person. I'm majorly into treating others how i would like to be treated. For me, i absolutely hate when somebody i barely know talks to me and i have to create some conversation filler. The awkwardness is just car crash. Thats why i wouldnt approach a female in a nightclub because i know how awkward it must be for them.

PS I dont dance. I have been asked to dance a few times by girls in Nightclubs but they get a firm no.

snafuk35

Richard Hillman wrote: »

TBH i'd never approach a strange girl without feeling like a creep.

Women notice that insecurity which makes you creepy. You have to fight it.

They would be fully in their rights to tell me to eff off.

Of course. But don't take it personal. Find out to charm them rather than creep them out. The only way to find out is to try and not to give up at the first fence. It's all trial and error. Nobody is a natural.

Its just not in my make up to approach strangers for a "chat" and i think the OP is probably similar.

Lots of things are not in your make up. Knowing how to read and write, tie a shoe lace, drive a car, do a job interview or play the tine whistle are not in your make up either but you can learn how to do those things. You can learn how to have social skills by trial and error. No other way of doing it. You can't just miracle it into reality it takes work and you have to cast your ego aside.

Im not even that shy a person. I'm majorly into treating others how i would like to be treated.

So to charm and entertain people you just met you should imagine back sometime you met a person you liked instantly and try to remember what it was they said or did that did that. And then experiment with other people. That's the fun of meeting people, its experimenting and find out about them and trying to figure them out. That's what socialising is all about. Nothing to be feared. Your heart might be pounding and you might be stuttering and feel all red and embarrassed but so does everyone. You have to work through it.

For me, i absolutely hate when somebody i barely know talks to me and i have to create some conversation filler. The awkwardness is just car crash. Thats why i wouldnt approach a female in a nightclub because i know how awkward it must be for them.

You can't run a hundred metre sprint or do handstands or kick a 70 yard conversion without training hard. You need more practise with meeting people and approaching them. The first time is tough but the more you do it the easier it gets because you discover the boundaries and then you can learn to conquer them. Basically its all in your head. It's like having a flabby belly and working up to a six pack or near enough.

PS I dont dance.

You can learn. Watch some youtube videos of some basic steps or join a class (great place to meet people and especially girls and lots of craic)

I have been asked to dance a few times by girls in Nightclubs but they get a firm no.

Next time say 'yes.' They asked you to dance because they like you and if they liked you then you could have easily taken them home. Women like men and in case you didn't realise it there are women who like you and think you are attractive but you didn't know because you take no notice. Stop living in denial. How do you think other men get the girls. Because they decided that even though their heart is pounding that they should go for it. That's all its about.

Hope what I told is a help. Have fun and go with the flow.

BunShopVoyeur

Gonzor wrote: »

Ive just turned 19 and went to my first nightclub there about 2 months ago. Ive been back a few times since and have been to two others and its the same old story every time. I feel like theres something I'm missing, something I don't know. I go out with my 2 mates and they usually end up disappearing into a quiet corner with random girls fairly sharpish after arriving at the club. And Im left standing wondering what to do next...

I really dont understand how that works. I go up to a girl and the conversation goes a bit like

Me: Hi
Her: What?
Me: Hello
Her: What?
Me: (screaming into her ear) I SAID HELLO
Her: Oh, hi
Me: What
Her: (screaming into my ear) I SAID HI BACK
ME: What



So guys what am I not getting here... how do are you supposed to chat up a girl at a club?

This will be no help at all mate but I was the same at your age.........it just got easier as i got older.

Don't worry about it so much.......smoking area is always a good place if it's too loud inside? Just a thought.

Richard Hillman

@snafuk35

TBH i just think its poor form, whether it be female or a random male to walk up to somebody minding their own business and starting a conversation. Whilst always being polite my 1st thought is usually "Who are you? how can i get rid of them". I have no interest in striking up conversation with strangers, they could be any sort of nutjob. You never know you are talking to. You could end up saying the wrong thing to the 3rd scissor sister and then ending up in the canal. Mainly i just think its poor form to interrupt somebodies night with their mates and try to butt in. I'd rather go without than feel like a creep.

In terms of dancing, i can bust a move but dont really enjoy it. When a random stranger asks me to do something i dont enjoy, then they are going to get flat no. I dont care if she is good looking, she will always get a no.

Also it was the OP that was looking for advice not myself. Im pretty happy with my nightclub outings. Im happy with being the silent perve in the corner . I do appreciate the sentiment behind your post though and apologise if im coming across snarky. Its not directed at yourself. Its the whole approaching a stranger thing that im against, not yourself.

Howard the Duck

Richard Hillman wrote: »

@snafuk35
TBH i just think its poor form, whether it be female or a random male to walk up to somebody minding their own business and starting a conversation. Whilst always being polite my 1st thought is usually "Who are you? how can i get rid of them". I have no interest in striking up conversation with strangers, they could be any sort of nutjob. You never know you are talking to. You could end up saying the wrong thing to the 3rd scissor sister and then ending up in the canal. Mainly i just think its poor form to interrupt somebodies night with their mates and try to butt in. I'd rather go without than feel like a creep.

Most people go to clubs to have a good time and meet new people. If an attractive girl comes up to me or is even just standing beside me with her friends and she starts up a conversation i'm not going to be offended and think oh no she might be a serial killer!
And if they are a weirdo just walk away or ignore them, It sounds like you're ideal nightclub is a place where nobody mingles and everyone just stands in circles with their own mates looking suspiciously at the other groups.
I used to be extremely shy when i was younger and would never say hello to a stranger be them male or female. But you have to get over it, if you're not shy and you just don't like talking to strangers then that's a different story.
Don't get me wrong i'm not a cocky guy that chats up every girl i see, i still have massive bouts of insecurity on nights out and i won't talk to anyone but my mates.

Sauve

Richard Hillman wrote: »

@snafuk35

TBH i just think its poor form, whether it be female or a random male to walk up to somebody minding their own business and starting a conversation. Whilst always being polite my 1st thought is usually "Who are you? how can i get rid of them".

This is not meant as an attack, but how do you ever hope to make new acquaintances/girlfriends if you're unwilling to strike up a conversation with a stranger? Do you intend on being introduced to them by mutual friends first?

battser

If you go to a nightclub looking desperately around at every single girl and trying to chat lots of girls up then your screwed, I've been there as have others I am sure. Its hard for you cause when I was your age my mates were the same as was I but as time went on I realised that I did my best pulling when I just didn't show an ounce of interest in women in the vacinity of the club. On some occasions girls actually asked me am I stupid cause I was just too engrossed in the craic to notice them, They love it

Richard Hillman

Sauvignon82 wrote: »

This is not meant as an attack, but how do you ever hope to make new acquaintances/girlfriends if you're unwilling to strike up a conversation with a stranger? Do you intend on being introduced to them by mutual friends first?

I dont hope, thats just the way i work. If i were to meet somebody (which i never openly seek) i'd prefer if they were vetted through friends first.

Sauve

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Sauvignon82 wrote: »

This is not meant as an attack, but how do you ever hope to make new acquaintances/girlfriends if you're unwilling to strike up a conversation with a stranger? Do you intend on being introduced to them by mutual friends first?

I dont hope, thats just the way i work. If i were to meet somebody (which i never openly seek) i'd prefer if they were vetted through friends first.

Vetted?!
It's only Ireland dude, not Rio
Personally I can't get enough of new people- male and female, and I like to decide for myself whether they're sound or not, rather than relying on my friends' opinions.
If they turn out to be someone I don't have any interest in spending time with again, It's very easy to cut ties.
I think I'd have a very limited social life if I didnt speak to someone that I don't already know

Otis Driftwood

Richard Hillman wrote: »

I dont hope, thats just the way i work. If i were to meet somebody (which i never openly seek) i'd prefer if they were vetted through friends first.

The problem with that is that say you and your friends friend hit it off,start dating and it then goes tits up.Its leaving your mates in a very tough spot.Of course you dont start out seeing someone with the forethought that it will end but still.

snafuk35

Richard Hillman wrote: »

@snafuk35

TBH i just think its poor form, whether it be female or a random male to walk up to somebody minding their own business and starting a conversation.

Actually I have found that if you just go up and talk people will warm to you because they were actually hoping you would actually would! If find when you see a woman standing in your orbit and she is actually open to you talking to her.

Whilst always being polite my 1st thought is usually "Who are you? how can i get rid of them". I have no interest in striking up conversation with strangers, they could be any sort of nutjob.

So the world must be full of nutjobs then? All these strangers carry guns or knives or torture people to death in their basements?

You never know you are talking to.

How would you know since you don't talk to strangers?:D

You could end up saying the wrong thing to the 3rd scissor sister and then ending up in the canal. Mainly i just think its poor form to interrupt somebodies night with their mates and try to butt in. I'd rather go without than feel like a creep.

Since when is it creepy to but in a start a conversation?

In terms of dancing, i can bust a move but dont really enjoy it.

That's got to change!

When a random stranger asks me to do something i dont enjoy, then they are going to get flat no. I dont care if she is good looking, she will always get a no.

Ok then your loss!

Also it was the OP that was looking for advice not myself. Im pretty happy with my nightclub outings. Im happy with being the silent perve in the corner .

Yeah right. You sound utterly miserable.

I do appreciate the sentiment behind your post though and apologise if im coming across snarky.

You need to cut out snarkiness.

Its not directed at yourself. Its the whole approaching a stranger thing that im against, not yourself.

What you are against is yourself. You are your own worst enemy.
Do something about it!

G-Money

I think we should all go to a club after the next TGC beers.

When is that btw?

the_syco

G-Money wrote: »

I think we should all go to a club after the next TGC beers.

When is that btw?

Doyles is usually close by....

Zombrex

Gonzor wrote: »

Ive just turned 19 and went to my first nightclub there about 2 months ago. Ive been back a few times since and have been to two others and its the same old story every time. I feel like theres something I'm missing, something I don't know. I go out with my 2 mates and they usually end up disappearing into a quiet corner with random girls fairly sharpish after arriving at the club. And Im left standing wondering what to do next...

I really dont understand how that works. I go up to a girl and the conversation goes a bit like

Me: Hi
Her: What?
Me: Hello
Her: What?
Me: (screaming into her ear) I SAID HELLO
Her: Oh, hi
Me: What
Her: (screaming into my ear) I SAID HI BACK
ME: What



So guys what am I not getting here... how do are you supposed to chat up a girl at a club?

I was the same as you, I hated night clubs but got depressed that all my mates were meeting girls in them and I wasn't cause like you I found the whole experience terrible.

As I got older I realized two things

1) If I want to meet girls I had to get out and do things that involved meeting people in environments more suited to actual conversation and getting to know people. One tip, do stuff you enjoy don't approach it as "I'm doing X to meet women". The meeting women part comes naturally as part of the enjoying yourself. This is a far better way to meet people you actually want a relationship with, it is amazing how being able to hear some one speak gives you an idea if you actually want to go out with them. Which brings me to ...

2) My jealousy towards my friends was miss placed. They ended up in terrible relationships, and you soon realize that hooking up with a girl in a dark loud night club (ie where you can't tell anything about her) is a very poor way to find someone you want to have a proper relationship with. Particularly in Ireland where the girl you snogged/shagged/whatever last night already thinks you are going out by the time you are leaving her flat the next day. The amount of my friends who have been in "serious" relationships with girls I literally believe they couldn't stand is amazing.

Now in my 30s my friends (both male and female) are looking around puzzled and depressed because they know of no other way to meet women than to go to a night club and that always ends in disaster for them. They turn to online dating but hate it because they never built up the skills to actually date people, it was all off the night club, no talking, wake up the next day going out with someone.

I tell them they should go out and do something other than getting rat faced and trotting along to Coppers every weekend but they stare at me as if I just said best way to meet people is go to the Moon.

Consider yourself lucky you have realized how much a disaster clubbing is long before your friends do.

s-cogan

Sky King wrote: »

God I used to hate nightclubs (for this reason and many others) back in the day.Ugh they're mingin....

Basically you don't chat up girls in a nightclub, you just get smashed and score them on the dance floor. Bad buzz if you're not great looking and rely on your wit and charm!

i get this bit, in theory, because clubs never really worked for me either, i'd have good craic and all, and i like going to them, but pulling random birds of a night out was never my strong point. on the you'd often see lads chatting away while dancing with random girls, before going in for the kill, my query,
what, in the name of jaysus, are they saying???


disclaimer type thing: i am not a complete gombeen, can get all sorts of places with a bird i know previously, just need help pulling randomers

Snowie

I really think its down to state of mind.

how you feel as a person will effect how you come across as a person Ive gotten phone numbers of girls in night clubs gone for a few drinks some times things went further other times they didn't..

For instance when I'm down theres no way in hell I have the ability to goo forward chat women in any way.. how ever when Im filled with self belief and confidence and I believe in my self...

I think if your in that state of mind its pretty easy to get a number talk go for a little boogie :pac:

its all about who you are...

Samich

s-cogan wrote: »

i get this bit, in theory, because clubs never really worked for me either, i'd have good craic and all, and i like going to them, but pulling random birds of a night out was never my strong point. on the you'd often see lads chatting away while dancing with random girls, before going in for the kill, my query,
what, in the name of jaysus, are they saying???


disclaimer type thing: i am not a complete gombeen, can get all sorts of places with a bird i know previously, just need help pulling randomers

Pretty sure they're just talking pure ****e about the club or something and trying to get as close to the girl as possible and if the girl doesn't pull away then they'll go in for the kill. They'll often lean in and talk into the girls ear and have one arm on their hips or back and then it goes to 2 hands and if the girl isn't moving away that's a good sign.

But hey, I've only ever pulled 2 girls in a club and they were both drunk and they both came onto me. Only kissed them in the club like but wished I didn't.

s-cogan

that makes sense, but striking up a convo with a randomer seems a bit strange to me, maybe i just find it intimidating, but like, if your gonna start chatting to soomeone you dont know,i wouldnt have a clue where to start without seeming/feeling like a bit of a creep.
plus i hate being rejected, which is a pain in the hole, cos i know it means eff all.
:(

Samich

s-cogan wrote: »

that makes sense, but striking up a convo with a randomer seems a bit strange to me, maybe i just find it intimidating, but like, if your gonna start chatting to soomeone you dont know,i wouldnt have a clue where to start without seeming/feeling like a bit of a creep.
plus i hate being rejected, which is a pain in the hole, cos i know it means eff all.
:(

Same here dude

I don't drink and don't think I'm goodlooking really.

I always think, why would a girl want to get with me when they can get numerous more fellas more goodlooking than me. Also it goes through my head when thinking if I was to approach a girl and say hello or whatever that she would be thinking "eh what do you want?"

Niteclubs suck But I won't stop going, it's where all my friends go

snafuk35

Samich wrote: »

Same here dude

I don't drink and don't think I'm goodlooking really.

I always think, why would a girl want to get with me when they can get numerous more fellas more goodlooking than me. Also it goes through my head when thinking if I was to approach a girl and say hello or whatever that she would be thinking "eh what do you want?"

Niteclubs suck But I won't stop going, it's where all my friends go

Man up!

Pawwed Rig

snafuk35 wrote: »

Man up!

Not very constructive

Sauve

Samich wrote: »

Same here dude


I don't drink and don't think I'm goodlooking really.


I always think, why would a girl want to get with me when they can get numerous more fellas more goodlooking than me. Also it goes through my head when thinking if I was to approach a girl and say hello or whatever that she would be thinking "eh what do you want?"


Niteclubs suck But I won't stop going, it's where all my friends go

I think a lot of people feel the same deep down Samich. From my experience, the only way to get over it is to take a deep breath, slap on a smile and go for it. Worst thing that can happen is a rejection, and if that happens, so what? You just shrug your shoulders and move on....
Don't think about it too deeply, don't let it dent your confidence.


There are many reasons why a girl/guy might turn someone down in a nightclub other than a lack of attraction... anything from them having a partner already, to wanting to have a laugh with their friends and not meet anyone.
If you don't have the confidence to approach somebody you're attracted to, do what I do, and fake it.

Sky King

I wound up in a nightclub last night for the first time in ages. I paid 7 quid in and stood at the bar and thought to myself I hate this place and everyone in it so I left after 10 minutes.

Music was sh!te too. A band miming 80's tunes TOTP style-ee. Awful. And I was smashed when I made this evaluation so it REALLY must have been awful.

So I got a pizza and staggered home eating it.

beardedmaster

I hate the places. Quite a bit. But all my friends love them, so I'm kinda forced to go to them, otherwise I'd be stuck by myself the whole time.

Let alone not being able to talk to anyone, which is pretty bad, the music is ALWAYS god awful!! I really can't be the only one who hates chart music (pop/dance/hip-hop/rnb)..
It's the music that I hate being blared so much is what puts me off.

And it's not one of those things where it's like "ah yeah, but sure I was really drunk, they could have being playing anything"... it's not that at all!!!
Being drunk makes me dislike the same stuff even more! I don't mind dancing at all.. but the music.. argh.

--Kaiser--

beardedmaster wrote: »

Let alone not being able to talk to anyone, which is pretty bad, the music is ALWAYS god awful!! I really can't be the only one who hates chart music (pop/dance/hip-hop/rnb)..
It's the music that I hate being blared so much is what puts me off.

I know what you mean, but you can find clubs that don't play the same old ****e, especially if you go out in Dublin

snafuk35

beardedmaster wrote: »

I hate the places. Quite a bit. But all my friends love them, so I'm kinda forced to go to them, otherwise I'd be stuck by myself the whole time.

Let alone not being able to talk to anyone, which is pretty bad, the music is ALWAYS god awful!! I really can't be the only one who hates chart music (pop/dance/hip-hop/rnb)..
It's the music that I hate being blared so much is what puts me off.

And it's not one of those things where it's like "ah yeah, but sure I was really drunk, they could have being playing anything"... it's not that at all!!!
Being drunk makes me dislike the same stuff even more! I don't mind dancing at all.. but the music.. argh.

Who cares about the music? The places are full of hotties! What are you thinking?:D

Do you have your priorities right?

Shiner11

Here, whats the story if you're out on the dancefloor and some young wan has her back to ya and keeps hitting her arse off your hand but makes no eye contact. Should grinding commence or whats the story? The dancefloor wouldn't be a crowded as a cattle-mart at this stage. Ladies any input?

OAOB

I never go to a night club with the intention of scoring a girl, best attitude is to just go and have fun, be willing to talk to anyone and everyone. Myself and a mate go to Whelans in Dublin lots which is great because the bar and dancefloor are in separate areas so you get the best of both imo. We'd just go around messing among ourselves and talk to lots of people, if they get our humour its great, if they don't then no worse off. I think girls see us enjoying ourselves and are more likely to be friendly because we're obviously having a good time. I'm generally very shy and find it hard to talk to strangers so i do have to be drinking to raise my bravery levels sufficiently, wish this wasn't the case.

I'm 25 now and it took me about 5 years to realise that you should just go to clubs and enjoy yourself, if you don't enjoy them don't go. I know when i started going i hated them because it felt like loads of pressure to go and pull but as soon as that mentality goes it became a much better night.

Some people never will like clubs and thats cool too, no need to feel like you have to go. I have one friend and it always feels like its a chore for him to come out with us, he much prefers pubs, always invite him out but he usually declines, its just not his scene

amacachi

Easy saying don't go if you don't like them but there's times I would've gone months without going out with my mates if I hadn't caved and gone to a club. :pac:

OAOB

amacachi wrote: »

Easy saying don't go if you don't like them but there's times I would've gone months without going out with my mates if I hadn't caved and gone to a club. :pac:

Would you suggest alternatives and they'd say no?
I think half the problem is there's very few late bars that aren't clubs so if you want to stay out after midnight a club is often the only option

amacachi

Yes, I'd always suggest alternatives. Luckily my best mate is seeing someone now so is happy just staying in for drinks. I'll be going to a little gathering in a house tomorrow and there's just one person wants to go to the pub, everyone else wants to stay in. If it were this time last year there would've been me and one other person who didn't want to go to the pub. This recession is suiting me beautifully. :pac:

But yeah, seriously, hated going to clubs but there was no alternative. The other problem is that a lot of people leave it late when there's a club to "look forward" to. I'd prefer getting my drink on from around 7 or so and being done, home, fed and and in bed by 1. When people are heading to clubs they don't go out til nearly 11 so there's a small window to meet then. If they're doing pre-drinking in a house it still doesn't start til half 9 or 10. In that case add the cost of a taxi into town and possibly one home for the sake of a coupla hours and getting home just as the drink is kicking in and you have drunken phonecalls to look forward to in a few hours.

OAOB

amacachi wrote: »

I'd prefer getting my drink on from around 7 or so and being done, home, fed and and in bed by 1.

Ah yeah i'm like that myself a lot of the time too depending on the mood i'm in. Pubs are way better for socialising in but going to a club means a more random night will be had

G-Money

Anyone here go to niteclubs on their own?

A lot of my friends are settled now so they don't go out that often plus none of my friends live near me and there's a good club nearby that I like going to so if I want to go there, I often go alone.

However I'm thinking I probably seem like a weirdo or something standing around on my own drinking until I feel the urge to start dancing.

snafuk35

Shiner11 wrote: »

Here, whats the story if you're out on the dancefloor and some young wan has her back to ya and keeps hitting her arse off your hand but makes no eye contact. Should grinding commence or whats the story? The dancefloor wouldn't be a crowded as a cattle-mart at this stage. Ladies any input?

I go by proximity. If you are on the dance floor and as you move around you find the same girl always seems to turn up dancing not too far away it means you should make a move. Women kind of orbit like planets expecting the guy to make the move. They don't want to come across as desperate because their friends are watching out for them.

snafuk35

G-Money wrote: »

Anyone here go to niteclubs on their own?

A lot of my friends are settled now so they don't go out that often plus none of my friends live near me and there's a good club nearby that I like going to so if I want to go there, I often go alone.

However I'm thinking I probably seem like a weirdo or something standing around on my own drinking until I feel the urge to start dancing.

If you don't want to come across as a weirdo don't stand there drinking. It's kind of a give away. Seriously.

Sauve

snafuk35 wrote: »

If you don't want to come across as a weirdo don't stand there drinking. It's kind of a give away. Seriously.

I don't see anything wrong with 'standing there drinking'. Isn't it what we all do when we go to clubs?!
That and dancing....
Whether or not he's going alone is irrelevant. G-Money I say that if you fancy a boogie in a club then fair play to you, and don't feel odd for being there alone, sure what better way to meet new people. I admire your ability to do so to be honest...

G-Money

Hmmm, well I suppose the thing is I don't tend to get chatting to very many people when I'm there, or anyone quite often. It's usually a case of me thinking "F*** this, I want a drink and want to dance, no-one else is going out so f*** it" and then I go.

I sometimes get girls sort of coming over and dancing near me but I can never work out if it's just co-incidence and they happened to pick that part of the dance floor or if they're interested. Although I do this weird thing where if I think some girl is just there to have people look at her and be a tease, I move away.

snafuk35

Sauvignon82 wrote: »

I don't see anything wrong with 'standing there drinking'. Isn't it what we all do when we go to clubs?!
That and dancing....
Whether or not he's going alone is irrelevant. G-Money I say that if you fancy a boogie in a club then fair play to you, and don't feel odd for being there alone, sure what better way to meet new people. I admire your ability to do so to be honest...

I don't stand there gawking around with a sorrowful expression on my face holding a pint. If I paid the best part of 20 quid to get in I'm determined to have fun. These places are packed with women and loads of saps who stand there looking at them wondering what to do. You always see it, the guys standing in groups holding points looking like saps! They never encourage eachother and then they slag eachother if one them makes the single clumsy attempt of the night. None of them have a clue how to approach a woman or how to get a group of women to join their group.

It's truly pathetic I have to say. And actually makes me angry.

I only drink a pint or two in the pub before I go to the club. I then get a pint of water with a straw and an umbrella in it and I got around to every group in the place and clink glasses, smile and shake hands and then move on. I like to work the room and if a girl is interested in you you will see her again garanteed.

What drives me cracked is when go out when things finish up and you have a few numbers, your chatting up or snogging a girl you were dancing with earlier and these aggressive guys are standing around glaring at you.

I mean these guy go to clubs, get drunk, slag eachother, get depressed and miserable then start getting aggressive with people who are actually able to let loose and have fun.

You hear them on campuses or in workplaces going on then about how great the night was! Pathetic!

Curva Sud

snafuk35 wrote: »

I don't stand there gawking around with a sorrowful expression on my face holding a pint. If I paid the best part of 20 quid to get in I'm determined to have fun. These places are packed with women and loads of saps who stand there looking at them wondering what to do. You always see it, the guys standing in groups holding points looking like saps! They never encourage eachother and then they slag eachother if one them makes the single clumsy attempt of the night. None of them have a clue how to approach a woman or how to get a group of women to join their group.

It's truly pathetic I have to say. And actually makes me angry.

I only drink a pint or two in the pub before I go to the club. I then get a pint of water with a straw and an umbrella in it and I got around to every group in the place and clink glasses, smile and shake hands and then move on. I like to work the room and if a girl is interested in you you will see her again garanteed.

What drives me cracked is when go out when things finish up and you have a few numbers, your chatting up or snogging a girl you were dancing with earlier and these aggressive guys are standing around glaring at you.

I mean these guy go to clubs, get drunk, slag eachother, get depressed and miserable then start getting aggressive with people who are actually able to let loose and have fun.

You hear them on campuses or in workplaces going on then about how great the night was! Pathetic!

Agree with everything you said.

So true about the 2nd last part of your post,it's called jealousy my friend and I see it happening a lot.

Red Hand

snafuk35 wrote: »

I only drink a pint or two in the pub before I go to the club. I then get a pint of water with a straw and an umbrella in it and I got around to every group in the place and clink glasses, smile and shake hands and then move on. I like to work the room and if a girl is interested in you you will see her again garanteed.

You have to have a certain type of personality to do that, though. Extroverted and happy-not everyone is like that.

snafuk35

Red Hand wrote: »

You have to have a certain type of personality to do that, though. Extroverted and happy-not everyone is like that.

You don't have to be extroverted. You can just pretend.:D

du Maurier

snafuk35 wrote: »

I don't stand there gawking around with a sorrowful expression on my face holding a pint. If I paid the best part of 20 quid to get in I'm determined to have fun. These places are packed with women and loads of saps who stand there looking at them wondering what to do. You always see it, the guys standing in groups holding points looking like saps! They never encourage eachother and then they slag eachother if one them makes the single clumsy attempt of the night. None of them have a clue how to approach a woman or how to get a group of women to join their group.

It's truly pathetic I have to say. And actually makes me angry.

I only drink a pint or two in the pub before I go to the club. I then get a pint of water with a straw and an umbrella in it and I got around to every group in the place and clink glasses, smile and shake hands and then move on. I like to work the room and if a girl is interested in you you will see her again garanteed.

What drives me cracked is when go out when things finish up and you have a few numbers, your chatting up or snogging a girl you were dancing with earlier and these aggressive guys are standing around glaring at you.

I mean these guy go to clubs, get drunk, slag eachother, get depressed and miserable then start getting aggressive with people who are actually able to let loose and have fun.

You hear them on campuses or in workplaces going on then about how great the night was! Pathetic!

I was acquiesing in your input in this thread and applauding your outlook, but not so much for this. Going around to every group and shaking hands with them? Are these people you've already engaged with? Odd, really. Surely the umbrella might attract more men than women:pac:

snafuk35

du Maurier wrote: »

I was acquiesing in your input in this thread and applauding your outlook, but not so much for this. Going around to every group and shaking hands with them? Are these people you've already engaged with? Odd, really. Surely the umbrella might attract more men than women:pac:

Well it certainly makes for a more interesting evening. It is certainly a considerable improvement on sadistic solipsism while weeping into one's beverage that's for sure.

du Maurier

snafuk35 wrote: »

Well it certainly makes for a more interesting evening. It is certainly a considerable improvement on sadistic solipsism while weeping into one's beverage that's for sure.

Heh. Sadistic solipsism was something no one emitted here, but I get your sentiments.

snafuk35

du Maurier wrote: »

Heh. Sadistic solipsism was something no one emitted here, but I get your sentiments.

It was implied so I thought it was only right to call a spade a spade.

MGHOW

If you are unattractive, introverted and male you're doomed to a life of loneliness without exception in Ireland.

Clubs are awful places. The only reason people go is a. for Women to flaunt and show off and b. for men (If they're good-looking and extroverted) to shift/ride the women. If you're an unattractive male clubs are the equivalent to hell.

amacachi

It's possible to hate clubs even when one is a sexy as me.

snafuk35

MGHOW wrote: »

If you are unattractive, introverted and male you're doomed to a life of loneliness without exception in Ireland.

Clubs are awful places. The only reason people go is a. for Women to flaunt and show off and b. for men (If they're good-looking and extroverted) to shift/ride the women. If you're an unattractive male clubs are the equivalent to hell.

That's a bunch of crap.
You are only as unattractive as you feel.
Women are attracted by charisma.
Go to a club and see all the good looking guys who are well dressed who still can't get a women because they haven't the bottle to talk to women.
Very few women bother to approach men. I would imagine that 99% the time it's up the man to do the chasing. If you are weeping and pussing about not getting women in clubs, it's because you stood back with a long face and stood there the whole night looking into your pint.
When you stop caring what anybody thinks then you are free.

wivy

snafuk35 wrote: »

Women are attracted by charisma.
Go to a club and see all the good looking guys who are well dressed who still can't get a women because they haven't the bottle to talk to women.
Very few women bother to approach men. I would imagine that 99% the time it's up the man to do the chasing. If you are weeping and pussing about not getting women in clubs, it's because you stood back with a long face and stood there the whole night looking into your pint.
When you stop caring what anybody thinks then you are free.[/QUOTE]

Totally agree with this post. Iv been told I'm a very attractive girl, but I very much agree that with guys looks alone dont cut it.. its about charisma, substance, humour and abiltiy to have the craic and hold an intelligent conversation at the right times.. you need to have confidence in yourself... confidence is very very attractive.. snafuk is so right when he says you need to stop caring! nobody wants to spend time with someone who is awkward, self conscious, bothered by what other people think and riddled with self doubt!

also i rarely get approached by guys on nights out... so i wouldnt agree with saying clubs are only for good looking girls and guys to flaunt their stuff..

amacachi

wivy wrote: »

abiltiy to have the craic and hold an intelligent conversation at the right times..

Hard to do in clubs when the most used word in conversations is "WHAT!?" :pac: