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Telling lies to get out of work.

  • 24-11-2011 10:18am
    #1
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭


    I'm terminally hungover this morning and had to tell lies to get out of work. My arm is in such a bad way that I cant go in. But it will be magically better tomorrow. What lies do you use?


Comments

  • #2
    foxyboxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,528 ✭✭✭foxyboxer


    I haven't missed a day of work since 2002. :cool:


    Lies make baby jesus cry.


  • #3
    scotty_irish
    Closed Accounts Posts: 427 ✭✭scotty_irish


    skivving work and boasting about it online is almost as dumb as this girl

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-15842559


  • #4
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    I don't lie,if I need a day off I book it in advance. If I did not want to go I would phone and take a holiday instead.


  • #5
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Please hand in yiour manliness passport at the frontier of drink, sir.

    Will that be all?


  • #6
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    scotty_irish wrote: »
    I'm your boss - you're fired! Who wants a job?
    But my arm has a stingy. Its very serious.


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  • #7
    CardBordWindow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,198 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    Today's Thursday. Take tomorrow off too for the same reason. It'll be magically healed over the weekend.

    Ta-da!


  • #8
    Hells Belle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 617 ✭✭✭Hells Belle


    Tell them you have a nasty rash from that bog maiden you rode last night and it's laid eggs which are crawling inside your arm.

    Works every time ;)


  • #9
    the groutch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,096 ✭✭✭✭the groutch


    pragmatic1 wrote: »
    I'm terminally hungover this morning and had to tell lies to get out of work.

    your hangover is karmic paayback for the last time you pulled a sickie


  • #10
    saa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    Flu lies have always worked, end up in hospital for two days I get fired.

    Lesson learned never bring your contract home to read it, sign that shizz sign it noww!


  • #11
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    foxyboxer wrote: »
    I haven't missed a day of work since 2002. :cool:


    Lies make baby jesus cry.

    So does **** but that never stopped you.


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  • #12
    tightropetom
    Registered Users Posts: 283 ✭✭tightropetom


    pragmatic1 wrote: »
    I'm terminally hungover this morning and had to tell lies to get out of work. My arm is in such a bad way that I cant go in. But it will be magically better tomorrow. What lies do you use?

    OP, I hope your work colleagues don't know your screen name on boards.ie (or your real name for that matter!) :D


  • #13
    foxyboxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,528 ✭✭✭foxyboxer


    pragmatic1 wrote: »
    So does **** but that never stopped you.

    Are you implying that I am a wanker? :eek:


  • #14
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Just use the old "My ovaries hurt!" excuse


  • #15
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    foxyboxer wrote: »
    Are you implying that I am a wanker?

    Yeah your mum told me.


  • #16
    foxyboxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,528 ✭✭✭foxyboxer


    pragmatic1 wrote: »
    Yeah your mum told me.

    http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/e/e6/Okay_guy.jpg


  • #17
    JeanLucPicard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭JeanLucPicard


    You will have to take tomorrow too.

    Not only does it make your "story" more credible but it also gives you the bonus of a long weekend.


  • #18
    Fremen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Fremen


    "My arm hurts".

    Sorry, but that's an awful lie unless you're prepared to come in wearing a sling the next day. Try "I have food poisoning" next time.


  • #19
    Apolloyon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 322 ✭✭Apolloyon


    Just tell them that you're too awesome to go into work today. If they ask for clarification just keep repeating yourself. They'll either be convinced or think you've changed your meds so you'll get the day off for sure!


  • #20
    Vicxas
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,404 ✭✭✭✭Vicxas


    I just tell them that i have them 1 day being dead illnesses....


  • #21
    robbie_998
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,222 ✭✭✭robbie_998


    force madure day


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  • #22
    John Doe1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    say you have womens problems:D


  • #23
    Crazy Horse 6
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,474 ✭✭✭Crazy Horse 6


    I've used them all. Bad back is the best bar none. Doctor just writes the note for a tenner and a week off work. Remember i used that one for the France v Ireland game in Paris a few years back and then remember ****ting myself thinking what if the boss spots me in the crowd on the telly. :pac: Good times.


  • #24
    recyclebin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,515 ✭✭✭recyclebin


    Doctor for a tenner? where????


  • #25
    df1985
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,432 ✭✭✭df1985


    "my doctor wants to see me later to discuss test results"


    They wont dare ask you what its about.


  • #26
    Voodoomelon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,660 ✭✭✭Voodoomelon


    I rang into work sick for the first time in 12.5 years recently with a vomiting bug. Even then I was thinking about going in. ;)


  • #27
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    The Skuts


  • #28
    cosmicfart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭cosmicfart


    Hi boss, very embarrassing and painful story but i wont be work today and will be walking strangley 2moro, u see my cock got stick in my zipper, well actually not my cock but my left testy and when I yanked the zipper up well u get the giz, the doc told me stay off my feet 2day as I might get prostate cancer or something mad if I put any undue stress on my knob. ok so grand see u 2moro.


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