Postmans Christmas presents

dxhound2005

Postman's last day
It was the Postman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage & tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup.

“All this was just too wonderful for words", he said, "but what's the five quid for?”

“Well,” said the blonde, “Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you”.
“'I asked him what I should give you”.
He said, “**** him. Give him a fiver.”

She smiled shyly and said, “The breakfast was my idea.”

Dionysus

John Doe1 wrote: »

Remember the days when you would give struggling trinity arts students cocaine and hookers?:D

Can't say I do, to be honest.

Voodoomelon

antodeco wrote: »

For those who said they would/are giving something, are you from a city or rural area?

Not rural, nor city, live in a large village with about 4000 people.

Not a chance I'd give my postman anything, the number if times he put a sorry we missed you slip through my door so that I have to go to the sorting office is beyond belief. On a number of occasions when expecting packages ive opened the door to confront him over it and each time he just shrugs his shoulders and tells me if I want my package I know where to get it.

There's also been the times he's forced parcels into the letter box that are obviously far too big to fit. On one occasion I had to get a hammer in order to get a parcel containing Blu-Rays out, in the process destroying cases, inlay and two discs.

He also recently left a large package for my next door neighbor from amazon with contents worth Over 200 euro on their front step in aim view of anyone who walked by. Luckily we saw it or who knows what would have happened it as at the time my neighbors were away on holidays.

I've made numerous complaints about him but no one seems to care, I guess the incompetence and general apathy goes all the way to the top.

Dionysus

Voodoomelon wrote: »

Not rural, nor city, live in a large village with about 4000 people.

Ah, a culchie with notions.